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I Can Has ROFL Nyao? Or, The ROTFLMAO of the Catgirl
 
#51
Link's borked, BA
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows
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#52
ClassicDrogn Wrote:Link's borked, BA
*Curses like the (ex-)sailor he is.*
Fixed it.  If you're too lazy to go back for it, here: http://www.equestriadaily...yes-of-another-pony.html
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#53
From "Anything's Possible", a fun little HP story. In the middle of the summer between OotP and HBP, Lily Potter has turned up, alive, out of nowhere....

Quote:Lily pursed her lips. "You're not being weak letting people help you, you know. Voldemort has people helping him."

"If Voldemort jumped off a bridge, would you want me to do that too?"

"No, I'd want you to stand there on the bridge and applaud."

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2689413/12/ ... s_Possible
--
Sucrose Octanitrate.
Proof positive that with sufficient motivation, you can make anything explode.
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#54
from a spacebatles story thread this little bit:

In the Starfleet Jusitce System, the people are represented by three separate, yet equally important groups. The security officers who investigate crime, the attorneys who prosecute the offenders, and that goddamn Jackass Q who's always fucking messing with our shit.

These are their stories.

___________________________
"I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific." - George Carlin
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#55
Quote:"It is this planet of theirs," Thyren said earnestly, leaning toward
the camera pickup. "It is like no habitable world I have ever seen
before. It is impossible, literally impossible to predict what this
Hellpit is going to throw at you next. If you are not ready at any split
second to react with lightning speed to the constant flux and flow of
conditions here, you die. It is as simple as that. Swift adjustment to
constant change is the price of survival on Earth."
"Is it really
that bad there?" Kilruym wanted to know. "I have heard Thrella complain
about it, but she is always complaining in any case."
Lethos
sighed. "There are some places here on Earth, depending on latitude and
the distribution of land and water, that..." He shook his head. "This
'Mother Earth' of theirs is a ravenous hunter that delights in devouring
her own young."
"What specifically are you referring to?" Skrilla wanted to know.
Lethos
thought for a moment. "There are some areas on this planet where it is
possible to get up at dawn to greet a beautiful sunny morning, with warm
pleasant breezes, and by noon be facing a rain storm - with howling
winds that can lift you off the ground and throw you hard enough to
break bones." Lethos winced and added as an aside, "I hate rain. Snow is
wonderful of course. But rain soaks its way inside your clothing and
coats you in a sheath of melted exoskelteon."
"It sounds miserable," Shran agreed distastefully.
"It
can be even more miserable," Thyren added ruefully, "if you are forced
to leave your shelter and flee because an undersea quake has caused a
tsnunami to sweep in toward you."
"That might be disconcerting, I will admit," Skrilla acknowledged.
"But
then you find that you must change course and veer away from your
planned escape route," Thyren continued, "because the tectonic
disturbance was more extensive than you first realized, and that lovely
mountain you admired this morning has just blown up and spewed flaming
lava over the area."
Shran made a choking sound. "Blown up? What do you mean, blown up?"
"Exactly
what he said, Commander," Lethos replied grimly. "He meant blown up.
Exploded. Like a torpedo. I know it is hard to imagine, since very few
class M worlds have active volcanoes."
"There are active volcanoes here on Vulcan," Kilruym said. "But they don't blow up."
"That's
because the plate tectonics on Vulcan are significantly less active
than on Earth," Thyren noted. "I'm sure you have noted the volcanoes on
T'Kuht? They are large and fiery enough to be seen with the naked eye at
night. The volcanic activity is almost as fierce here as it is on
T'Khut. The edge of the tectonic plate that surrounds the major oceanic
area is so active that Humans refer to it as the Ring of Fire."
Thyren
stopped to catch his breath and Lethos interjected helpfully. "While
you are fleeing the tsnunami and the lava flow, you must watch carefully
to avoid falling trees that are being torn loose by the howling winds,
or struck down by the massive thunderbolts that split the sky on this
world like pulse cannons.
"Oh, one last thing," Thyren mentioned.
"One must be careful while fleeing the tsnunami and the volcano, as the
storm and the screaming winds are trying to rip the skin off your back,
to avoid being fried by the forest fires that the lava started. Not to
mention the mudslides."
"All of this between sunrise and sunset," Lethos said tiredly.
"Mudslides." Kilruym said flatly.
"Oh
yes, Ambassador," Lethos told him. "The ground is only frozen here at
the poles. Nowhere else. So any admixture of water in any form
destabilizes things quite remarkably."
"How did they build a
civilization?" Skrilla wondered. "Without any solidly frozen ground for a
base, how do they keep their buildings from tumbling over?"
"By
drilling down to bedrock, usually." Thyren explained. "But it is not
unusual at all for entire towns to be buried in mudslides. Or in lava
flows. Or flattened in windstorms. Or shaken to pieces in quakes. Or
washed away in flood waters."
"Great Mother Andor," Shran
whispered. "I knew from talking to them that their world was harsh.
Archer and I had compared notes about the differences between mountain
climbing on Andoria and on Earth. I also remember hearing Tucker talk
about growing up near that foul sounding swamp. But this-"
"Near a swamp?" Thyren absently tugged on his antenna, to the amusement of all present. "What about in a swamp? One the most highly prized cities on this planet is sinking."
"What?" said Kilruym.
"What?" said Skrilla.
"What?" said Shran.
"Sinking,"
said Thyren with a twitch of his right antenna and a head shake. He
leaned back in his chair with a distracted expression.
"By the Tongue Dancers of Rigil," Kilruym demanded, "What is he talking about Lethos?"
Lethos
looked resigned. "The city is named Venice. It is very old, by Human
standards. They built it in the middle of a swamp, on poles."
"On what?" Skrilla stared, dumbfounded.
"Poles,"
Lethos repeated. "They drove long poles down into the mud as deeply as
they could. Then they built their houses on top of them. It is a common
practice here. What is unusual about Venice is that they built an entire
city this way. Instead of streets they use canals, and boats instead of
ground cars."
"You cannot possibly be serious," Shran whispered hoarsely, incredulous.
"It's
true," Thyren insisted. "But over the centuries, the city has settled
into the mud. So the Humans have continued to build it up higher and
higher. They have also worked to try and drain the swamp somewhat, and
generally do whatever they can to preserve the area. But the planet is
winning the battle. Their Mother Earth is eating them, slowly but
surely."
Kilruym looked dazed. "And I complain about dry heat."
"They
have that here too," Lethos said helpfully. "There is a place called,
appropriately enough, Death Valley, where temperatures can reach as high
as 57 degrees."
Kilruym winced. "It doesn't get much hotter than that in the Forge," he grumbled.
"It
is not all like that," Lethos assured them. "The climate here in
Toronto is quite tolerable in winter. From this point northward things
are quite pleasant. Except for the storms of course. This atmosphere
is... turbulent. That moon of theirs is a veritable demon when it comes
to weather disturbance."
"Why would their moon matter?" Shran objected. "Andoria orbits a gas giant. Surely our planet is subjected to greater stress."
"But
our oceans are covered in pack ice," Lethos pointed out. "Here, the
tidal variations cause massive shifts in water level twice a day. Every
day. This of course plays havoc with the oceanic currents. And this
planet wobbles on its axis like a top that is about to fall over. The
axial tilt on this planet is more than 23 degrees, if you can believe
it. Twenty-three degrees! The seasonal variations in temperature are
incredible."
"Especially when the atmosphere turns upside down," Thyren interjected helpfully.
After
a few moments it occurred to Lethos that, if the Human proverb were
literally true and silence were actually golden, one could readily
purchase a palace on Rigel's fourth moon with the wealth that was
pouring out of the monitor in front of them. He eventually decided to
answer the question that everyone was afraid to ask before they all
starved. He cleared his throat delicately.
"What Agent Thyren is
talking about," Lethos offered cautiously, "Is referred to by the Humans
as a 'temperature inversion'. It is caused by a major disturbance in
the atmospheric pressure, which is caused by shifts in the prevailing
wind currents, which are in turn brought about due to the axial tilt and
the tidal force of their moon on the massive quantities of liquid water
that cover this planet's surface. You see -."
"Don't bother," Shran muttered. "Now, suddenly, many things become very clear to me."
"It
seems I may have judged too quickly and harshly Lethos," Skrilla
acknowledged stiffly. "From what the pair of you are telling me, it is
small wonder that Human behavior would sometimes be... erratic." She
shuddered slightly. "But such a place as you describe must be
unimaginably stressful. How could they have ever learned to hold
themselves together long enough to build a civilization, much less
achieve starships? How do they cope with it all?" she wondered.
The
two Dark Guard agents look at each other helplessly. Finally Lethos
tentatively offered, "I have noticed that they seem to curse a great
deal."
===========

===============================================
"V, did you do something foolish?"
"Yes, and it was glorious."
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#56
The above refers to: Purgatory
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#57
I found it on FFN, but yes. Yuku didn't cooperate when I went back to try and add the link, though, so thank you.
===========

===============================================
"V, did you do something foolish?"
"Yes, and it was glorious."
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#58
From the newest update to Sparkgate (SG-1/Girl Genius)
http://forums.spacebattles.com/showpost ... count=1789
Quote:Agatha hummed as she assembled the mass of transistors, wire, and batteries on her workbench. Jack wanted a honking ray gun? Why, she'd make one that sang the entire Storm King Saga, including the part with the roller-skating giraffe. The prospects appeared excellent for producing a death ray without using Rhadamanthys' nanoforge or naquadah. The basic components could be bought at any electronics wholesaler, instead fabricating them in a lab. Why, they even used minute quantities of a common death-ray fuel in smoke detectors. No-one would ever menace apple pie again.
Or Disneyland.
Agatha's gaze slid to the conceptual sketches drawn during the sleep-over.
No, no, she had to focus.
Absently, she sipped from the cup that had accompanied the pie. It was apparently tradition to have coffee with pie according to Jack. Hmmmph. Frankly, she preferred tea or a niceglassofcoldmilk. Shereallydidn'tunderstandwhatthebigdealwas. Nowtopreparethethoriumcoreforinsertionintotheaccelratorcoils. Acoilgunrollercoasterwouldbereallycool. Youcouldmaintainaccelarionfreeofgravityassist. Shehadtoworkondefendingearthfirst. ButWAIT
*sip*
SHECOULDDOBOTH!
FIRSTBETTERCOFFEE!
___________________________
"I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific." - George Carlin
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#59
http://forum.rpg.net/showthread.php?578 ... st14339739... four days ago. I'm behind in my reading. Anyway.
Quote:Eudial: " -- do we actually know what a Talisman looks like?"
The Professor: "Of course! One is a hand mirror, one is a sword, and one is an orb. Here are pictures from my source texts."
Eudial: "Hmm, interesting heart-and-crescent moon motif, surely like nothing I've ever seen before, because I'm certain I'd recognize something that distinctive if I'd ever been paying attention."
Eudial: "So, uh, they don't look like a little twinkly red starburst about so big?"
The Professor: "Why, no, that's just an ordinary soul crystal. This is all easily derived from basic principles, Miss Eudial, didn't you read the notes I sent over?"
Eudial: (They made Timecube look like Dick and Jane.)
Eudial: "Why, yes, I just wanted to see we were on the same page... "
(lots of really good lines deliberately not quoted)
Quote:Rei: "¡Instead of waiting for an answer from Makoto, I shall now pick a fight with Usagi!"

Usagi throws a pillow at Rei.
Rei is hit!
Rei throws a pillow at Usagi.
Oops! Minako is hit!


Minako: "Since when do I look like her?"
Ami: "It's kind of a requirement for being a body double."
Minako: "Don't remind me!"

Minako throws a pillow at Ami.
Ami is hit!


Ami: "... "
Ami: /smiles.
Minako: "OH SH -- "
Quote:Morning
All are awakened by the sound of kiais.

Usagi: "... are ninjas attacking?"
Rei: "No, Makoto's doing her dawn warm-ups. We'll kill her later."
Minako: "How's that glistening working for you?"
Ami: "Why did you wake me up without coffee? Why?"

Morning, At A Decent Hour
Usagi: "I know, I know, it's provided by our hosts, it's traditional, it's good for me, but it's rice and miso, ugh. When I go on vacation, I wanna eat something tasty!"
Rei: "You always 'wanna eat something tasty'. ¿Do you have an oral fixation?"
Usagi: /quickly takes her finger out of her mouth.
Quote:On a Stroll, Later
Usagi: "Uh-oh, looks like a storm's blowing in. I'd better hurry back."
Eudial: /drives past, like Yukari-sensei driving the Batmobile.
Usagi: "I'd better hurry back faster!"
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
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#60
Quote:"There was time when costumes were all regular materials and could not readily adapt to myriad of super abilities, or stand up to rigors of superhuman combat. Was golden age. Is well known connection between sex, danger and violence, and when fight was over, all involved were very worked up, and mostly naked. Great time to be superhero. Then Richards, lanky, beanpole academic prude, comes along with unstable molecules and suddenly everything is staying covered up. The bastard."
Crossroads (I happened to re-read it of late).
D for Drakensis

You're only young once, but immaturity is forever.
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#61
Chapter 53 of Vathara's Embers,
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5398503/1/Embers
Quote:Her grief tore through him, keening to the marrow of his bones. Her Sozin; her dark, murderous love who knew how much she hated. Who was willing to burn the world for her, starting with those lying beasts that had weakened her clan so much they had to die. Who had been stolen from her too soon, far too soon; the Avatar's curse claiming the soul that should have ravaged the world at her side millennia longer-
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#62
A few tidbits from Gundam Seed: Legends:

First up is Sakura's...reaction the the Blitz's stealth...
Next up...Lucky or unlucky? You Make The Call!
Soo...how did Sakura inherit the nickname of Nanoha's Book of Darkness-spawned expy?
Someone really likes variable fighters...
Say...that looks kinda familiar...
The fourth wall is made of plastic...
And finally, we end with a(nother) groping...
BYapes@aol.com
(...when the heck did this get double spaced?)
Brian Y.
Seed Chronicles
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#63
This appears to be the entirety of a one-shot from Vivio's Magical Family Theater...

Quote:Fate bought two skewers of chicken yakitori and handed one to Nanoha. The women nibbled happily as they walked down the street.

"There's one thing I don't really get about this TSAB thing, Fate-chan," Nanoha said between bites.

"Considering that you're a captain in their air force, you probably shouldn't have too many questions," Fate replied, grinning.

"Actually, it's more of a Navy question. I mean, seriously, what kind of rank is Enforcer, anyway?"

Fate blinked.

"Excuse me?"

"Well, just listen to it. It sounds like the kind of title you'd hear for the chief troops of an evil overlord in an RPG or something. You know, like they'd wear these giant suits of armor, with just a little tinge of rust to hint at blood, covered in spikes and engravings of skeletons...or maybe just these cool, menacing black outfits that..."

Her voice trailed off as she glanced at Fate, noting her black uniform.

"W-well, anyway, you know, and they'd have some really evil-looking weapon, something designed to intimidate and strike fear instead of being efficient for combat. Like a giant spiked club, maybe, or an axe with a cruel-looking, twisty head, or maybe even a giant Grim Reaper's scythe or..."

She broke off again, thinking of Bardiche.

"Yes?" Fate asked, burgundy eyes the color of old blood glinting merrily.

"Fate-chan, you...never stopped being a bad guy, did...you...?"

"Nope!" Fate said cheerily. "After all, it's called 'befriending,' not 'begooding,' right, sweetie?" She leaned over and gave Nanoha a quick peck on the cheek. "But really, it's so cute of you to not notice!
--
Sucrose Octanitrate.
Proof positive that with sufficient motivation, you can make anything explode.
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#64
I seem to remember someone quoting that in this thread (or a predecessor?) before...
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#65
From the still-going-strong-in-debate SpaceBattles "An Entry With A Bang" round-robin, in which TomClancy's Earth is ISOT'ed into the deep Periphery of the Battletech universe:

JTibbs:

Quote:coffee was mentioned earlier several times.

Its a very temperamental cash crop, and much loved.

I wouldn't be surprised if actual coffee was somewhat rare across the IS, and most common people have to make due with imitation coffees made of stuff like roasted bran and additives.

Tea, on the other hand, is much easier to grow, and tolerates a wider range of conditions.
Demon_Hunter:
Quote:My god, we may just have discovered the real reason for the IS technical decline. Far more damaging than nuclear weapons, lost libraries, and ROM assassins. Engineers forced to work whilst powered by nothing but weak Tea and Chicory.

Caffeine deficiency is also the perfect explaination for the presence of so many obvious design flaws in most military equipment. In such a world Middle Managers would make perfect sense to their employees, every stupid idea would seem clever, and innovation would dissapear as the zombielike scientist completely missed every potential use for new technology, especially the obvious ones.
Ed Beccera:
Quote:I can see them experimenting with eucalyptus tea out of desperation.

That would explain why they are all aggressive and crabby, they're likely making it wrong.

After all... the koala tea of mercy is never strained.
--
Sucrose Octanitrate.
Proof positive that with sufficient motivation, you can make anything explode.
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#66
A punchline oh so worthy of Ed.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
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#67
From the battletech round robbin;
Quote:“Yup. And I’m the one with… Hmm. Twenty pounds, give or take, of high explosives taped to my body. Unless you’ve got a death wish, you’re going to do what I say.” He smiled, “I’m the one calling the shots here. You’re just someone I’ve impressed into service with my roguish good looks and explosively energetic personality. Oh, and take another right.”

explosive personality indeed.

http://forums.spacebattles.com/showthread.php?t=150127
E: "Did they... did they just endorse the combination of the JSDF and US Army by showing them as two lesbian lolicons moving in together and holding hands and talking about how 'intimate' they were?"
B: "Have you forgotten so soon? They're phasing out Don't Ask, Don't Tell."
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#68
The really funny bit is that the 'explosives' he got strapped all over himself are actually MREs.
___________________________
"I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific." - George Carlin
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#69
I've eaten MREs. Maybe it was just because they were some kind of tex-mex varient and spiced hotter than high noon in the desert, but they certainly had me exploding for a while afterwards.

- CD
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows
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#70
What it doesn't make clear in that quote is that in that scene the guy with the MREs is clinging to the canopy of the battlemech.
Its to long to post, but the entire thing later where pirates take over the Congo and discover that RPGs do 1/2 armor point of damage.
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#71
Necratoid Wrote:Its to long to post, but the entire thing later where pirates take over the Congo and discover that RPGs do 1/2 armor point of damage.
Even the really big RPGs, like Rifts or GURPS?
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
Reply
 
#72
robkelk Wrote:
Necratoid Wrote:Its to long to post, but the entire thing later where pirates take over the Congo and discover that RPGs do 1/2 armor point of damage.
Even the really big RPGs, like Rifts or GURPS?
Now that's what I call throwing the book at them. 
D for Drakensis

You're only young once, but immaturity is forever.
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#73
*guffaws, snrks, chuckles*

I didn't get the joke until you said something, Drak. Thanks. (Helps that I wasn't reading it right - I thought he was saying rocket propelled grenades from those RPG resources.)
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#74
I didn't think to grab it, but Gary Gygax is a monster in Improbable Island. He narrates and GMs your encounter with him, and it is delightful. "You have encountered Gary Gygax which lunges at you with multiple rulebooks!"
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#75
Taken from a FoZ random idea thread on another forum:
Quote: Louise summons AKU, SHAPESHIFTING MASTER OF DARKNESS!
-----
Stand between the Silver Crystal and the Golden Sea.
"Youngsters these days just have no appreciation for the magnificence of the legendary cucumber."  --Krityan Elder, Tales of Vesperia.
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