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ROFL Beethoven, and tell Tchaikovsky the news
01-19-2013, 08:03 PM
Since we needed a new thread-
http://m.fanfiction.net/s/8753582/7
In the streets of Bruxelles, the band of five perfectly normal human children were doing perfectly normal things like casually stealing laundry, picking pockets, and picking up dog excrement and throwing it at passing carriages. The latter activity proved so amusing that actually-real-human children joined in, and in the resulting chaos the disguised Minions got bored and wandered off.
(Not quite exactly quoted, my memory isn't that good.)
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows
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The note about today's Darths and Droids:
Quote:Handling in-game romance when the players are not romantically involved can be challenging. But ultimately it's just like acting. And we know that actors never end up getting into convoluted romantic entanglements with other actors...
On second thought: Handle these sorts of situations very carefully.
(The less said about the installment's title, the better.)
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
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Something my father heard today - "If you see a sheep that's running with the wolves, you'd better believe it's one baaad mofo."
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows
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http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7822195/11/Danzo-s-Team
Quote:Naruto cut into the conversation at that point. "Hey that's Lee in the bowl cut right? What's with the giant eyebrows?" Naruto didn't have any trouble at all ignoring the irritated frown Sasuke was sending him, the Uchiha had blown his shot to comfort Sakura. And a distraction was better than a lecture rehashed from Danzo-sensei any day of the week.
Sakura paused a moment before answering. "Apparently having big eyebrows prevents things from coming out of your forehead."
That actually through Naruto in a loop for a bit. He stared at Sakura and couldn't decide if she was just pulling his chain or if she was serious. She obviously guessed what the flat stare meant and shrugged back, "All I know is it somehow is related to the tragic loss of Gai's guitar."
All of a sudden Naruto felt like he was the one that needed comforting. He actually felt less sane just by hearing the explanation, and a bit of it might have slipped into his voice when he quipped, "You know what, I'm just going to go back to thinking they are freaks of nature."
Sakura nodded thoughtfully and responded, "And that is probably the safe thing."
--
Sucrose Octanitrate.
Proof positive that with sufficient motivation, you can make anything explode.
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This is more a shortfic idea than anything, but it made me laugh - what if the reason house elves bind themselves to wizards is that they feed on the ability to think logically? Look at who keeps them, and who has the most trouble with thinking things through - the old families, the headmaster and staff, and increasingly as years progress students at Hogwarts... Dobby was probably so bad off while still bound as the Malfoys are the sort to show off by having a large staff despite being just the three of
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows
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them, while Winky quickly fell apart once freed and Kreacher was mad as a hatter with no one but the paintings in the house for years- poor little buggers were probably starving for a tasty chunk of braaains!
If not for the fact that magic seems to work better the less logic (or at least, skepticism) you have, they'd be worse than dementors... Did Luna get the House Elf's Kiss? Is that the real reason the school keeps so many?
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows
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From the comments on today's Friendship is Dragons: Quote:It is important to know that he's a devout Seussian. The great Seuss shall convey his messages to us through the prophet Horton, who hears the word of the almighty Seuss from the mystical whisperings of The Who. The Who is a mysterious force all around us, and deep inside us. It surrounds and guides us, and teaches us the ways of the rhyme.
Also, it likes to talk about magic buses and jelly babies.
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
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robkelk Wrote:From the comments on today's Friendship is Dragons:' Wrote:Also, it likes to talk about magic buses and jelly babies. Horton Hears A Dr. Who!
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
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Bob Schroeck Wrote: Horton Hears A Dr. Who! http://www.dorktower.com/2012/12/11/doc ... -11-12-12/
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
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Pantysgawn goat cheese.
Yarg nettle cheese.
That's all you need to know.
(I swear to you, they are actual things that exist. No, really.)
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows
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In a discussion on how to power your secret base and still keep it secret:
On the SJGames forums, Flyndaran Wrote:But if you have a lair, why not use that untapped volcano for geothermal power? Being a mad genius doesn't mean you can't go green.  --
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
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Quote:Jesus approached through the gaping hole in the wall, walking past the broken piping without regard for the arc of rushing water blasting from the twisted steel. The rushing fountain bent impossibly around him, the water refusing to land upon the messiah's skin as the Israelite passed into the room proper.The Swarmlord's feet shifted, the psychic glow that danced around its horned skull flaring in intensity. Moka was forgotten completely as the alien faced this new threat, sensing an unprecedented level of danger.
"Let he who has not sinned cast the first stone," Jesus said solemnly, his pity-filled gaze locked on the luminescent eyes of the monstrous alien.
CRACK! Jesus' hand suddenly grabbed onto the concrete foundation of the wall, his fingers sinking into the stone as if it were mere communion crackers.
"That means I go first," the son of God said.
and
Quote:'See? You didn't listen to me and here we are again, watching helplessly as some puny human takes care of business,' Evil Moka complained.
'That's the son of God,' Moka noted in her head, watching as Jesus kicked away a defending bonesword and then backflipped away as two more came at him from either side.
'My point is that we could be fighting aliens and saving the day and being awesome RIGHT NOW, but instead we're having our shapely butt saved again. Don't you think we should start being a little more active in our survival?'
'I think we should start going to mass on Sundays,' Moka thought back, her eyes locked on the titanic battle that was unfolding before her.
"HYAH!" Jesus once again clapped his hands down on a bonesword that had been stabbed at him, his sandals dragging across the floor as he was pushed back by the might of the alien monstrosity.
"Love your enemies!" the Messiah shouted, "bless them that curse you! Do good to them that hate you! Pray for them that use you!"
Jesus jumped up, landing on the back of the bonesword before dashing straight toward the snarling alien.
"LOVE KNUCKLE!" He shouted, slamming a fist into the Swarmlord's head that sent the alien reeling.
"BLESSINGS OF PAIN!" Jesus started raining blows on the monstrosity, which was too close to use its massive swords to any useful effect. The Messiah's fists were like thunderbolts upon the Tyranid's armor, and where His fists struck chitin and bones alike split apart.
"ROUNDHOUSE OF GOOD!" His sandal smashed into the alien's chest carapace with a sharp crack, like a hammer splitting ceramic, and the son of God backflipped into the air as his enemy staggered painfully.
"PRAYER BEAM ALPHA!" He shouted, holding his forearms in the shape of a cross as holy light swallowed the Israelite and infused him with righteous power.
www.fanfiction.net/s/8084013/4/Big-Huma ... ter-School
----------------------------------------------------
"Anyone can be a winner if their definition of victory is flexible enough." - The DM of the Rings XXXV
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sacrilicious
-Terry
-----
"so listen up boy, or pornography starring your mother will be the second worst thing to happen to you today"
TF2: Spy
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sweno Wrote:sacrilicious It isn't the first time He's been cast in that sort of role (although the enemy was different):
www.youtube.com/v/4LRIypcaIX4
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
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From the commentary to today's Sketched Comedy:On his own site, Fox Barrett Wrote:It’s weird to think that the brains rattling around in our skulls today are essentially unchanged from the dollops of grey matter bequeathed by Fate to our smelly, unshaven ancestors all those thousands and thousands of years ago. The person what thunked up “rock + other rock = fire” is basically the same as the person who figured out that Twitter would be a swell idea. That’s crazy, and amazing, and just seems totally fantastically unbelievable.
Right up until you see what people tend to write on Twitter, at which point it becomes all too frighteningly easy to comprehend. --
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
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Quote:"How robust are your communications?” the General asked.
“To date, no outside power has managed to jam any OMEGA, nor have they been able to break our jamming. My...” Willow paused for a moment, “ah, former Communications Officer was rather fond of using late twentieth century hard rock music on the jamming frequencies. I heard that the Klingons always liked teaming up with us because of that. He claimed they would send him requests during combat, got to where he could predict their actions by what they asked for.
Willow began to chuckle. “If a Klingon Captain asks for any Twisted Sister, clear the area.”
George cocked an eyebrow at her and the chuckle turned to an open laugh.
“When a Klingon is not going to take it anymore, then things are about to get really ugly.”
http://www.tthfanfic.org/Story-28697-4/ ... ty+Box.htm
--
Sucrose Octanitrate.
Proof positive that with sufficient motivation, you can make anything explode.
From Sentinels: A story of the League of Mary Sues (yes, that's the title, it's a Macross Frontier story, BTW):
In her position inside the Vajra queen, Grace was monitoring her network
in the mental projection that emulated being in a control room, trying
to coordinate her threats on all the other fleets and colony worlds, as
well as far away Earth. Suddenly, a two-dimensional white cartoon cat
with a pink hair bow walked into the room, as if stepping off a screen,
wearing a suit of armor from a 20th century tabletop miniatures game.
"What is this?"
"I's in yur network, haxoring your system," the cat replied in Mina's
voice, as suddenly the virtual display systems inside Grace's
cybernetics were flooded by tens of thousands of cat pictures with silly
captions on them. The cat gave a mock Space Marines salute, and
vanished.
"GET OUT!!!" Grace reached out, trying to find the
node that was dumping the stuff into the fold network, only to come up
short when the node appeared to be somehow outside her system, forcing
its way in. In fact, by the time she reached it, it had disconnected.
Mina
flew away from Battle Galaxy, covering Alto's retreat with Ranka while
trying to stifle a giggle. Originally, that package had been set up as a
form of ICE, part of her computer's anti-hacking defenses, but it was
infuriating enough to those that encountered it that she decided to try
it in an offensive role, using her mecha's fold quartz system to create a
momentary connection to Grace's network. The connection only lasted a
couple seconds, but it was a fun denial of service attack while it
lasted - and it had blasted out to all the individual nodes, not just
Grace. If it created any doubt in Grace's abilities among her allies,
all the better. Perversely, Sheryl had changed songs over to "My
Boyfriend's a Pilot" as they exited from the rescue. Just warning you now, the prologue of the story will most likely break your brain. Fair warning.
Brian Y.
Seed Chronicles
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A Terran, a Klingon, and a Romulan walk into a bar,
Logicaly the Vulcan ducked.
From Muv Luv: DYRL-Valkyries:
Quote:"Understood, Captain." There was a click, and Nastassja Ivanova, the
'Revenant' of the 211th Zhar Battalion, ended the call. Yui set the
phone down back in its cradle and reached for her cup, taking a small
sip to test her hot tea. The warm liquid's soothing yet bitter feeling
slid down her throat and into her chest, and Yui smiled with pure
contentment. It was perfec-
"DECULTURE SHOCK, MOTHERFUCKERS! YA-HOO!"
It
was about then that a certain Ilfriede von Feulner decided to do a low
pass over the castle in her brand new VTF-0(2) Valkyrie, bellowing over
the external speakers like a banshee the entire way. The resulting
shockwave from the low flying fighter knocked Yui's glorious cup of tea
all over her immaculate uniform and sent the surprised young woman
tumbling onto her behind.
For a moment, silence and stillness
reigned where Yui sat there stunned, unable to comprehend the fact her
nice relaxing evening cup of tea had been completely ruined. Then Yui,
and just about everyone else in the bloody castle caught off guard by
the stunt for that matter, erupted into a single cry that pretty much
summed up her life since she had first met the man named Yuuya Bridges.
"GOD DAMN THESE VALKYRIE PILOTS!"
Brian Y.
Seed Chronicles
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Quote:The eye of Autochthon turns to Joker, then to Kaidan. Then to the salarian which has enters the cockpit. Not missing a beat, the one horned salarian waves his omnitool over the floating orb. "Interesting. Unrecorded materials incorporated into a modified drone frame. Must ask. Artificial Intelligence?"
"Sir!" The plates spin. "I am no mere artificial intelligence! I am the Architect of Invention which admittedly has been downgraded to mere godhood!"
"Odd behavior." Mordin Solus narrows an eye. "Yes. Theoretical intelligence transfer into an artificial medium. Not an AI, but instead a brain upload of a possible non-carbon based life form!"
"Yes!" The eye hovers in front of the scientist. "If I were based on any substance, it would be Essence!'
"Essence." Mordin brings up his omnitool again. "Similar to theoretical atomic behavior. Yes! Quantum foam based sentience! This requires experimentation!"
"Yes!" Autochthon booms.
"Yes!" Mordin breathes.
"Yes!" The god sphere bellows.
And in the pilot's seat, Joker goes pale. "Oh God," he whispers, "Now there's two of them."
Mass Effect: Glorious Shotgun Princess (Mass Effect/Exalted crossover): www.fanfiction.net/s/8107629/15/Mass-Ef ... n-Princess
----------------------------------------------------
"Anyone can be a winner if their definition of victory is flexible enough." - The DM of the Rings XXXV
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From the sound of things, there may be more in a few months...
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows
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The latest chapter of Kyon: Big Damn Hero provides a new variant on Rena's usual schtick...
Quote:"And so humble!" Rena gushed. "If you weren't already here, I'd have to take you home!"
-Morgan.
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BYapes Wrote: From Muv Luv: DYRL-Valkyries:
Quote:"Understood, Captain." There was a click, and Nastassja Ivanova, the
'Revenant' of the 211th Zhar Battalion, ended the call. Yui set the
phone down back in its cradle and reached for her cup, taking a small
sip to test her hot tea. The warm liquid's soothing yet bitter feeling
slid down her throat and into her chest, and Yui smiled with pure
contentment. It was perfec-
"DECULTURE SHOCK, MOTHERFUCKERS! YA-HOO!"
It
was about then that a certain Ilfriede von Feulner decided to do a low
pass over the castle in her brand new VTF-0(2) Valkyrie, bellowing over
the external speakers like a banshee the entire way. The resulting
shockwave from the low flying fighter knocked Yui's glorious cup of tea
all over her immaculate uniform and sent the surprised young woman
tumbling onto her behind.
For a moment, silence and stillness
reigned where Yui sat there stunned, unable to comprehend the fact her
nice relaxing evening cup of tea had been completely ruined. Then Yui,
and just about everyone else in the bloody castle caught off guard by
the stunt for that matter, erupted into a single cry that pretty much
summed up her life since she had first met the man named Yuuya Bridges.
"GOD DAMN THESE VALKYRIE PILOTS!" Of course, now it's necessary that the joke eventually continue with the "I want someone's BUTT, and I want it NOW!" line from Yui, with Yuuya's butt being offered up immediately by all and grinning sundry. Cue massive blushing on both parties....
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From Shoulda Kept the Manual, a SW short. Note that this is basically the whole fic.
Quote:The day had finally come. The day he'd been waiting for since he'd
slain his master. Skywalker was now his apprentice as he had planned,
and in moments the Jedi order would be no more. All that was left for
him to give the order...
Which order was it again? He'd mostly
repressed the day he'd spent trawling through the GAR Contingency
Orders, but he vaguely remembered it being somewhere in the sixties...
Oh yes, now he remembered.
He
confidently spoke into the communicator which would carry his order out
to the troops throughout the galaxy and start the purge of the
unsuspecting Jedi.
"Execute Order 65." he said.
There was a
sense of confusion at this, but it was to be expected considering the
amount of time the troops had loyally followed their Jedi Generals. Any
second now, he would feel the betrayal and despair as the Light blinked
out of the galaxy never to rise again.
Any second now...
&!&!&!&!&
Nobody
was quite sure what happened, but by the end of the day, Chancellor
Palpatine had been revealed to be a Sith Lord as he was killed by the
501st Legion in front of a number of Holonet News cameras, and Anakin
Skywalker was off getting help that he desperately needed thanks to the
damage that had been done to him by said Sith Lord and a number of
traumatic events that had gone unresolved over the years.
When one
of the Clone Troopers who had been involved in the incident was
interviewed, he said "Well, we weren't sure whether or not we should
have followed the order since it was only supposed to be issued either
after a vote in the Senate or by the Security Council, but he's the
Supreme Commander, and if he orders us to detain him, who were we to say
no?"
&!&
Order 65: In
the event of either (i) a majority in the senate declaring the Supreme
Commander (Chancellor) to be unfit to issue orders, or (ii) the Security
Council declaring him unfit to issue orders, and an authenticated order
being received by the GAR, commanders shall be authorized to detain the
Supreme Commander, with lethal force if necessary, and command of the
GAR shall fall to the acting Chancellor until a successor is appointed
or alternative authority identified as outlined in section 6(iv)
My Unitarian Jihad Name is: Brother Atom Bomb of Courteous Debate. Get yours.
I've been writing a bit.
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(Salutes that petard flying from the flagpole, despite the ass wearing it and cursing...)
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows
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