ROFL Beethoven, and tell Tchaikovsky the news

[ECSNorway]

"Are you ... littering... in my Reality Marble?"

Crosswinds of Fate (Side Story Prequel)
--
Sucrose Octanitrate.
Proof positive that with sufficient motivation, you can make anything explode.

[ECSNorway]

"HOW DARE YOU?! YOU MOCK LORD VOLDEMORT?! KILL HIM, QUIRREL! KILL HIM NOW!"

"Oh, dear," Harry mock-gasped in fear. "I'm about to be killed! May I make one last request?"

That caused the dark lord to jolt. "What...?"

"Oh, I just like for you to meet my friend!" Harry said...

...as he pulled out a miniaturized multiple-barrel anti-submarine weapon lashed to one arm; such had been a present from a British Flower-class corvette in celebration of his birthday and his entrance to Hogwarts. As Voldemort blinked in confusion, Harry smiled.

"Mister Hedgehog," Harry declared before barking out, "MATCH BEARINGS AND SHOOT!"

http://forums.spacebattles.com/threads ... t-24234356
--
Sucrose Octanitrate.
Proof positive that with sufficient motivation, you can make anything explode.

[Bob Schroeck]

Ah, Pyeknu in classic form. Always fun.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

[drakensis]

"Okay… so if I get this right," Nicholas began, his voice almost sceptical, "you're sleeping with a girl currently, there are others who have kissed you. One sneaks into your rooms, and you need advice on women?"
"Yes." Jaune nodded, glad to see his father understood.
"I'm not sure you need advice on women."
"Dad, this is serious – I don't know what to do."
"You're sleeping with a girl and don't know what to do?" His voice sounded incredulous. "I've a feeling I'm going to regret this, but what do you currently do when you sleep together?"
"Currently?" Jaune touched his chin in thought as he looked down at the girl wrapped in a cocoon of his own blankets. "Well I try to get some sleep, she steals all the covers and leaves me freezing. Some nights I wake up to find she's kicked me out of bed and she regularly steals my shower in the morning."
"Huh…" the man sounded surprised. "Yeah… that sounds pretty normal. Are you sure you haven't skipped straight to marriage? Ow, ow – Juniper!?" There was a sound of struggle as something seemed to hit his father.

Professor Arc
D for Drakensis

You're only young once, but immaturity is forever.

[ECSNorway]

Welcome back to Pale Wolf's Catch the Falling Sky:

Uncle Minato strode to one of the racks filled with guns, pulling a stout, very heavy-looking rifle from the rack and carefully checking it over. "Sergeant Scott."

Scott-san nodded. "Sir."

"You have a cat on your head," Uncle Minato pointed out, slipping ten very thick bullets into the black magazine before pressing it home.

"I do, Sir."

The cat looked down, giving a 'Nya' of greeting.

Uncle Minato paused, frowning for a moment and pointing the rifle down to the floor. "... Sergeant Scott."

"Yes, Sir?"

"Why do you have a cat on your head?"

Scott-san shrugged, prompting another 'nyau'. "My door was broken. She was following when I left, so I opted to carry her." He gestured to his head with his left hand... his fingers looked oddly... short, wrapped in white cloth... And the movement seemed extremely delicate, as if it pained him. "Hands-free position."

Uncle Minato eyed Scott-san for a long moment, finger upraised, mouth half-open, before he finally admitted. "... I cannot actually find any logical flaws in what you just said. That's distressing."

--
Sucrose Octanitrate.
Proof positive that with sufficient motivation, you can make anything explode.

[ECSNorway]

In Crosswinds of Fate, Hermione and Luna are working on an essay assigned by Professor Tohsaka and end up discussing the issue of inbreeding:

"... according to... a pure-blood I met, nearly all pure-bloods in Britain are related somehow."
"Wait, half the people here are my cousins?" Luna inquired. "Or aunts or uncles?"
"Something like that."
"Then that means..." The Ravenclaw witch frowned. "... that I have been missing out on many Christmas presents."

--
Sucrose Octanitrate.
Proof positive that with sufficient motivation, you can make anything explode.

[TheTwisted1]

From http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7160279/9/ ... -of-Shanxi]chapter 9 of The Siege of Shanxi (Mass Effect):

Dale decided to try his luck with one of the other Service Chiefs. This one looked more friendly, like he'd be good to hang out with. "So where are you from?"

"Originally?" The Chief looked up. "I was a comms tech with the UNAS Marines. Forward operations, I sorted out airstrikes and stuff like that. Quite the adventurer back in my day."

"What happened?"

"What happened?" The Chief shrugged. "To this day, I can't figure it out. One day I'm just hiking with my platoon over the Hindu Kush, then next I'm getting airlifted back to Bagram with an arrow in my knee."

"Wait...you were an adventurer till you took an arrow in the knee?" Dale frowned. "That doesn't make any sense."

"If you
wish to converse with me, define your
terms."

--Voltaire

[Ebony]

From this week's chapter of The Gods Are Bastards, the conversation between Sharidan, Emperor of Tiraas, and Antonio Darling, a.k.a. "Sweet," the representative of the Thieves' Guild (and priest of the God of Thieves) that I alluded to:

“But with that aside, we were talking about us.” He actually shifted to lounge against one side of his chair and crossed his legs in a deliberately casual posture totally unlike his normal carriage before guests. Eleanora had returned her gaze forward, but Milanda was watching him with wide eyes. “Here’s the simple truth, Sweet: you are a pain in the ass. You’re everywhere, involved in the government, in the Church, in whatever your Guild is up to on a given day, and yet, nobody knows what it is you actually want. All we know is that you’re one of the Empire’s foremost experts on playing both ends against the middle, and you should know that by this stage in your illustrious career, everybody is getting tired of it. Now, I will gladly—humbly, even—offer my apologies and make amends to the Guild, for the sake of the necessary politics. To Lakshmi as a friend, as well, if such overtures won’t be immediately spat on. But you, Antonio Darling? I won’t do anything as pointless as suggest you pick a role and stick to it, but if you’re seriously going to have the face to stand here and complain about someone playing you false in this game…” Sharidan grinned broadly, the expression showing a lot of teeth and not reaching his eyes. “Blow me.”

The silence was absolute.

Darling cleared his throat discreetly, once he had recovered. “With greatest appreciation for the kindness of your Majesty’s offer, I must respectfully decline.”

Ebony the Black Dragon
http://ebony14.livejournal.com

"Good night, and may the Good Lord take a Viking to you."