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(RFC) Untitled SI (Nanoha)
(RFC) Untitled SI (Nanoha)
#1
I've sort of been on a Spacebattles archive binge for the last month or so.  At some point along the line, I got thinking.
...yes, I know that that's a scary proposition.  Quiet.
The idea got stuck in my head- well, ideas.  There have been a few of them.  I ended up using a few, and saving the rest for later. 
Be warned- this is mostly unedited, and will also take some time to reach the good bits.  Stylistic, grammar, plot, and spelling critiques are welcomed.
**********
Entry 1 (Day 1)
"...that's odd.  I don't remember a forest being here.  Where the heck am I?"
The last thing I remember before the forest was getting on the freeway after work.  It was a really nice day- blue sky, fluffy white clouds, just the right amount of sun and breeze and coolness- the sort of day that  you can't help but enjoy the drive.  So I did.
It was easy enough to let the world around me just fall away, leaving nothing but the road in front of me, my three mirrors, the needle on my speedometer, and the wonderful cool breeze coming in my open window.  I couldn't tell you how long I spent like that.
What I remember is noticing that the cool breeze I'd been enjoying had become fifteen degrees (Fahrenheit, of course- I'm an American) warmer, the off-ramp I was expecting was just the slightest bit *missing*- oh, and there was a *tree* where I was expecting a road.
...one swerve and a lot of frantic braking later, I'd brought my faithful four-door to a stop in a grassy field, of all places.  There was a forest in my rearview mirror.  This wasn't exactly impossible- I live in a very green, very forested area- but I'd've had to go quite some distance to get to the nearest one.
Quite some distance in the other direction, that is.  Through a city or two, and possibly over some rivers.  Needless to say, I was quite confused.
So I ended up taking a walk back along my path, following the ruts I'd dug in the dirt.  Those tire tracks vanished a few hundred feet into the edge of the forest- and I mean *vanished*.  They literally came into existence in the middle of a big muddy patch.  I spent two hours looking for any way- ANY WAY AT ALL- that I could've gotten there except for the obvious.  No dice.
I'm lost.  Worse than that, I seem to have been made lost, by some agency beyond my ken.
...now, if you'll excuse me, I think I'm going to curl up into a ball and whimper helplessly for a while.

My Unitarian Jihad Name is: Brother Atom Bomb of Courteous Debate. Get yours.

I've been writing a bit.
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#2
Bit short.

I'm not really a fan of the journal style SB seems to have been enamoured with for the last year - despite technically doing one myself on an off-and-on basis.

Needs more meat for us to get our teeth in.
________________________________
--m(^0^)m-- Wot, no sig?
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#3
It is at least a more original beginning than "I woke up in an unfamiliar place, and discovered a Pip-Boy with a sticky note from ROB on it." More than that is hard to say without, well, more to say it about.
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows
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#4
...you guys already responded?!  Wow.  I was expecting to post another three entries before anybody said anything.
The reason it's so short is that I'm trying to get through the introduction before I switch to the more typical 'post when you have a chapter done' sort of journal SI.  So this was between half and 1/3 of a day's writing.  I will be posting snippets of similar size at least once a day.  If you'd like, you can just check up every other day or so.
...and yes, one of my goals with this fic was to start it in a less traditional way.
**********
Entry 2 (Day 2)
I'm not gonna lie.  When I woke up this morning, I immediately wished I hadn't.
See, Nature and I have an agreement.  I don't go out and mess up her stuff, and she doesn't make me miserable, panicky, poisoned, injured and/or dead.  Even when I was a child, I was never fond of the 'Great Outdoors' (you'll have to imagine the sarcastic air-quotes here, but believe me- they are MASSIVE).  The eye surgery just made it worse, since I could SEE all the bugs and things out there.  Then the allergies hit, and I just sort of figured that I wasn't built for going outdoors more than necessary.
More than that, I *liked* my life!  I had a wonderful family, a fun job, good friends, and all the toys (read: interesting electronics) a guy could hope for!  Sure, it wasn't the most exciting life out there, but it was mine, it was comfortable, and it didn't involve me being stuck out in the middle of *BLEEP*ING NOWHERE for the last week of my life!
Yeah... I got a lot done this morning.  Realized a lot of implications, moved through at least one stage of loss... Reallllllllllly productive, me-of-a-few-hours-ago.
Eventually, I stopped feeling sorry for myself (Well, I think I just shelved the angst for a while.  It's hard to tell sometimes), and went out to scout the terrain.
Turns out that the grasslands I'd parked in were on the border between the forest I'd appeared out of, and a rather steep cliff.  The view was wonderful, by the way- green trees and grasslands, as far as the eye could see.  The sky was a lovely blue (with an odd hint of purple), and that's about as far as I got before my brain shut down for a bit.
There were two moons in the sky.  One was almost full, glowing silvery-purple in the early afternoon sun.  The other was a sliver of bright red, on the other 'side' of what I could see above me.  Based on where the sun was going, the fuller of the moons was in the 'west', closer to the horizon than to high noon.  The red crescent was in the 'east', hanging at maybe a 9AM or 10AMish position.
The implications of that hit me like a jackhammer... strapped to the front of a train.  Two moons means I'm on an alien planet, which means no easy way home.  Finding intelligent life- a difficult thing in the best of times- just became virtually impossible.  One might even describe it as... astronomically hard.
More than that, I have no idea if I could even survive in this place.  I know the air isn't immediately harmful to me (since I'm still alive), but what about the wildlife?  I haven't died yet, so the odds are that I haven't ended up on a death world, but any number of things could still kill me right quick.
Predators?  Haven't seen any, but that doesn't mean much.  They might be nonexistent, or just hunting someplace else.  They might be murder machines to make deathclaws look tame, or Care Bears.  Even if the predators here are fairly safe, I won't be able to relax.  The prey animals here might be enough to do my wimpy marshmallow self in.  No way to tell until I find some.
For all I know, there might be *plants* that can kill me here.  I can think of quite a few ways it could happen, too.  Poison, strangling vines, extreme allergic reaction... for all I know, everything on this rock might be dextro-based, and eating lunch could kill me.  I'll have to test my food and drink very carefully... in very small doses.
Screw scouting!  I need to think.  More later.

My Unitarian Jihad Name is: Brother Atom Bomb of Courteous Debate. Get yours.

I've been writing a bit.
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#5
NO! I shall check back EVERY HOUR! For I am very, very board.

ENTERTAIN ME! THE OVERLORD COMMANDS IT!

If you want to, and it's not too much trouble...

I'm right there with you as a fan of the Great Indoors, though. Hm, if you were on Krynn your car would be a king's fortune in steel, but like you said, any D&D-like world you'd probably be dead already of wandering monsters.

Halkegina isn't much better for that, and the nobility is mostly jerks. Can't think of any more specific possibilities...
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows
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#6
ClassicDrogn Wrote:NO! I shall check back EVERY HOUR! For I am very, very board.
What, you're made of wood? A witch! A witch!

(This post made because I am somewhat bored... )
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
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#7
Guys, it really goes against the grain here, but I'm going to have to ax you to take it outside.
Also, you're not going to be able to guess where I am quite like that, CD.  Nice try, though. Tongue
**********
Entry 3 (Day 2)
I managed to get a better look at the area before the sun started going down.  The forest is to my 'east' (where the sun rises, don't'chaknow).  The cliff starts to my 'west', and extends roughly 'north' and 'south' for a reasonable distance.  I managed to find a river to the 'north' of my parking spot.  Judging by the path it's dug in the cliffside, the river is here year-round.  I could drive down that path, if I needed to; it's that wide.
Speaking of driving, my car's still in good shape.  I'd topped off the gas late last week; with how short my commute is- was, I guess- I still have well over 300 miles worth in the tank.  The ground in this field is just soft enough for the tires to dig ruts in it, but not so soft that I'd get mired all that easily.  Since my car really isn't built for offroad use, this is a godsend.
Note to self: move the car every so often.  Don't want it to push into the ground any.  Even a light car squashes dirt.
After I'd gotten a good look at the area, I decided that my first priority was to reach the river.  Even a city type like me knows that you'll die of thirst before you die of hunger- that, and that the surest way to find civilization is to locate the nearest river, and follow it to the ocean.  Turns out the grassy field I'm parked in extends all the way over there.  I've never been one to look a gift horse in the mouth (yeah, right!), so I just walked back, got in my car, and drove it over there.
There was one other piece of good news today.  I didn't hear much of anything on my walk.  No bird calls, no crashing of animals moving through foliage- nothing.  If there are predators, they're either bloody quiet, or hibernating.  Still a good sign.  I'll sleep in the car again tonight, just to be sure.  I figure any predators out there will either ignore it, or take long enough to get in that I'll be able to wake up before I die.
Sweet dreams!

My Unitarian Jihad Name is: Brother Atom Bomb of Courteous Debate. Get yours.

I've been writing a bit.
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#8
Only places I could think of where you'd see two moons, one red. And yes, a typo is me - my original @nick was in fact "Drogn, He of the Typo" - because it was supposed to be Dragon.

I'm not so sure a lack of animal sounds is a good sign - are there at least any bugs around? If not, then those plants are either entirely wind pollinated or a lot more different from earthly plants than they look at a glance... and a far lower proportion of plants are edible to humans than of animals.
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows
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#9
Today was nuts, so I'm just making one double post.
As for where exactly I am, you'll figure it out sometime this week.  I'm almost done with the prologue.
**********
Entry 4 (Day 3)
Well, as you've probably not guessed, being as how text files lack the power of abstract thought, I survived the night.  Slept like a baby... save for being massively uncomfortable all night long.  That back seat is a good foot too short for me to really sprawl out.I'm really going to have to find (or more likely make) a better shelter.  That kink in my back ruined the whole morning.
Before that, though, came the need for water.  It's a good thing the day I got dropped here was a shopping day; were it not for the half a mug of tea and the four Sobe bottles I'd had with me, I wouldn't have made through these last two days.  As it is, I have four empty juice bottles and an empty insulated mug amongst my assets.
The river was now a two-minute walk from my car, instead of the good hour and a half it'd taken me yesterday.  The part of it on my plateau is about three or four feet deep, and moves fairly quickly.  It's fairly straight, so I can see where it starts (a falls off the side of a mountain, further back on the plateau) and a good bit of where it leads (down a channel it's bored in the side of the cliff, and through the forests below, joining with another river a mile or so along the path).  The part up here moves fairly quickly, and is clear enough to see the bottom through, so it's not obviously unsafe.
I took a walk up to the falls to fill two of my bottles with river water.  The falls is as close to the river's source as I'm going to get, really- if this stuff is going to be safe to drink, that'd be the spot to get it.
Hmm... I can't really smell anything from it.  Good sign.  Now a small sip.
No metallic taste to the water, no contaminants I can taste... I'd say it's safe to drink a bit more.  Wonder of wonders, the water actually tastes good!
Entry 5 (Day 3)
I ended up drinking a full bottle of river water.  Turns out I was thirstier than I'd thought.  Still, it's been several hours, and I'm not dead, throwing up, or dealing with indigestion.  I'm going to tentatively declare this a success.
You know what else is a success?  I've found my first native animal!  Turns out that the river below the cliff has some sort of native fish in it.
I was walking the bank of the river, looking for animal life and/or civilization, when I saw a fin sticking out of the river.  There was something off about how it moved, but it was clearly some form of animal life, and that means meat!  I think I'd bought a new laundry hamper at the store before I left- I'll have to see if I can catch me some sushi tomorrow.
It's about time, too.  I've not seen any fruits or berries, and the snacks I'd packed are running out.  Even if I had some left, I'd need some protein soon.
Oh, well.  Hopefully, the fourth day will be as delicious- I mean *productive*- as I'm expecting!

My Unitarian Jihad Name is: Brother Atom Bomb of Courteous Debate. Get yours.

I've been writing a bit.
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#10
Just to be clear, is this an interactive journalfic, or just journal format fic?

I don't have much to say about it if your character can't see suggestions, as the writing itself is pretty solid. For now though...

Given the small, clear plastic bottles, just leaving them in the sun on top of a sheet of metal for a couple hours (like a chromed bumper, not paint) should uv sterilize them if the labels are off, but finding a way to boil it would really be better.
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows
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#11
Yes.
I'd explain further, but spoilers.  Suffice it to say that it isn't what it will be, it won't always be what it's going to be, and I'm going to let me answer your question for you, rather than answering it myself.
Sadly, I don't know what you just suggested to me, and would have a hard time finding that much metal on my car.  It's one of those modern, plasticky monstrosities.
**********
Entry 6 (Day 4)
I'm typing this entry from a rock next to the river.  The rock next to me has one of the local water-dwellers on it- the result of about ten minutes of work.
These are the strangest fish I've ever seen.
The first hint came when I spent a bit of time watching the fins move through the water, looking for an exploitable pattern.  I'd actually noticed it last night, but I didn't realize that I'd noticed it, if you catch my drift.  The things don't swim like normal fish.  They spend a few seconds wriggling around in one place- moving ridiculously slowly by terrestrial standards- then straighten out and shoot forward a few feet.  Then they repeat the cycle.  It was simplicity itself to watch one, time the cycle, and scoop it up in my hamper when it stopped moving forward.
What I saw left me boggling.  Imagine the shape of a normal fish.  Bulk it up a bit- make it wider, closer to round.  Give it a wide mouth on the bottom, sort of like a catfish- it's fairly obviously a bottom-feeder of some sort.  Above the mouth is where things began to get odd.
The creature has three eyes- one on each side of its body, lower than Earth fish have them, and a third more in the center of its 'face'.  Above the middle eye, there were three gill slits surrounding an odd pucker in the fish's face.  As I watched, the pucker opened up, exposing a churning tube of muscle- one look, and I figured out what the thing was.
Turns out the local fish somehow evolved water jet propulsion.  The middle of the fish is a hole, filled with an impressive number of muscles, which pulse in sequence to force a jet of water out the back of the fish.  That's why it was moving in spurts!
I'm just going to sit here a while, and let it choke to death.  Later!

My Unitarian Jihad Name is: Brother Atom Bomb of Courteous Debate. Get yours.

I've been writing a bit.
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#12
Huh. Well, I got nuthin'. Still wondering about the lack of bugs, even if you don't smell like food to some of them a forest should have quite a few little flyers going about their own affairs, whether they're all that similar to earth bugs or not it's a big ecological niche. And if you still haven't heard any birds after time for them to get used to you, that begins to be a bit alarming.
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows
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#13
I have given this planet precisely as much thought as its place in the plot deserves- no more, no less.
So this is why GreggHL acts the way he does... :3
**********
Entry 7 (Day 4)
...That didn't work.
Ten minutes in, the thing was still flapping around, in its shockingly slow way.  At that point, I was sort of curious how long it'd last, so I decided to head up to the plateau and take a bath.
By all the gods we've ever invented, that was great!  I can't believe how much better I feel now!  You never realize how nice it is to be clean- not until it stops, anyway.  I even gave my clothes a dunking, and hung them up on some branches to dry.  Not as good as a proper washer, or even taking a bar of soap to them, but it should help a bit.
When I got back, the fish was still slowly flapping about.  In the interests of science (or my appetite- it can be hard to keep that straight), I captured another one, and took a sharp rock to it.  Turns out jetfish (my new name for them) are remarkably good eating!(In case anybody ever reads this, you might be thinking sushi.  Don't.  Jetfish have a fairly substantial bone scructure, which the jet is built around, and all those muscles are red meat.  They're a lot closer to eel or lamb meat.  Swimming steak, really.)
Emboldened by my success at finding food, I decided to go for one of humanity's other great needs- fire.  Gathering enough branches was simple enough... even while avoiding touching any leaves or living plants.  I wasn't taking any chances.  The problem was that I didn't have any easy way to light the silly thing.
This may be the only time in my life that I've ever regretted not smoking.
Oh, well.  It's getting dark, so I'll just wait until tomorrow.
Entry 8 (Day 5)
Project Fire has run into a snag.  Put simply, it's raining.
The jetfish I left out yesterday afternoon is still moving.  It managed to fill its gillslits with rainwater overnight, and is flapping about with more energy than before.  The experiment has been ruined.
Oh, well.  I'll let it wear itself out again, once the rains stop.  For now, I've had a wonderful jetfish breakfast, and pulled myself back into my car to wait.  I'll have to collect more branches when everything dries out.

My Unitarian Jihad Name is: Brother Atom Bomb of Courteous Debate. Get yours.

I've been writing a bit.
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#14
You have petrol.

Even if you don't want to use petrol, there're plenty of parts in the interior of your car that'll burn if you're willing to rip it up. And you have a car battery with can be an excellent source of heat.
________________________________
--m(^0^)m-- Wot, no sig?
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#15
Does your car not have a cigarette lighter? Sometimes the actual plug device has been lost, but I cant remember any car I've been in that didn't at least begin with one. Doesn't help with needing some dry tinder, unfortunately - you should probably throw some in the trunk next time you have a chance.

With the resilience of that fish... look more closely at the sky. It would suck if the reason there's no other animals is that this is momma dragon's territory and you've been torturing and eating her babies.
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows
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#16
ClassicDrogn Wrote:Does your car not have a cigarette lighter? Sometimes the actual plug device has been lost, but I cant remember any car I've been in that didn't at least begin with one.
Mine didn't - it has two sockets for power draw, but no plugs or ashtrays. (That's an optional extra package for a late-model Mazda.)

I can't speak for Bluemage's car, of course.
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
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#17
Yeah, lighter sockets are still absolutely ubiquitous, but the actual lighters, not so much.
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#18
No ash tray? But... where do you put the napkins from the drive through, or the toll booth ticket?

Without a ciggy lighter, your next best bet is a fire bow - a shoelace or something strung on a bent branch, with a straight 'drill' stick, a block for the bottom to put tinder on and light by friction, and another to press on the top with. Wrap the string around the drill once, then shake the bow to spin it fast.

Or bait momma dragon into breathing on your firepit, but that has its own problems.
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows
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#19
Quote:No ash tray? But... where do you put the napkins from the drive through, or the toll booth ticket?
In the cupholders, of course.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
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#20
Rob is absolutely right.  When you get a car nowadays, cigarette lighters and ashtrays are optional.  You have to get the 'smoking package' to have them.  My car is fairly recent (2009), and did not have that package.
S'a brilliant idea, but not possible here.
As for gas, at the moment, I'm sort of in 'go and find civilization' mode.  I'm learning to survive (slowly), before setting off.  Right now, I don't think of gas as something I can start fires with, but as stuff to make me go- therefore something to hold on to.  If I did think of it, I'd realize I didn't have a siphon, or any idea how to tap a fuel line, and give that up.  Still would require a spark, too.
I haven't noticed that I haven't noticed any insects, CD, because I loathe the things with every fiber of my being that's not busy doing fun stuffs.  If I did, my reaction would be less concerned, and more thrilled.  I'd build a summer home there.  Also, the fire bow is a great idea, but so's running my car for a while, lifting the hood, and using the engine to heat a stick enough to make tinder catch... which I've also not thought of.
The hardest bit of the dragon idea is finding a dragon.
Anyway, things, they be happening!
**********
Entry 9 (Day 6)It didn't stop.  The rains fell ALL DAY.  I was starting to think I'd drown.
On the plus side, that was the best night's sleep I've had since I got here!  I've always needed noise to sleep properly, and the pounding rain delivered that.  I slept like a baby.
Couldn't tell you how long I slept, since the world was just as wet and gray when I woke up as it was when I laid down.  What I know is that the pounding sound of rain on car began to slow about 20 minutes (thank you, car clock) after I woke up, and after a few more minutes of fading rain, I decided it was worth going outside to take a look around.
I regretted it from the instant I stepped out of the car.  Walking through a thick layer of mud tends to do that.  Worse still, the shoes I'd been wearing six days ago were a bit old, and weren't quite watertight anymore.  That got old right quick.
Still, the rain was down to a sprinkle, so I was holding out hope of getting a meal soon.  I squished my way over to the edge of the cliff to take a look at the lower river, straining to pick out any details I could through the clouds... only to hear a sudden crack of thunder.  Then it happened again.
At this point, I was quite confused.  Even with all those clouds in the way, I should've been able to see lightning, if only as the clouds lighting up... but nothing.  Well, nothing at first.  After a half dozen  more thunderous booms, I started to see flashes of light in the clouds, past the edge of the cliff.  I focused, straining my eyes to make out anything more, any details at all...
The explosion caught me completely by surprise.
The next thing I remember was pulling my face up from the ground, feeling the first drops of blood roll down my abused face as I levered myself up.  Above me, the clouds parted, and I winced at the sudden deluge of light.  After a few bleary seconds, mostly spent furiously rubbing my eyes and blinking, I managed to get my vision to clear, and looked up.
The first thought I had was Huh.  I must've hit my head harder than I thought.  I could swear I'm seeing a man standing in the sky.
I will never forget that moment.  Not for the rest of my days.

My Unitarian Jihad Name is: Brother Atom Bomb of Courteous Debate. Get yours.

I've been writing a bit.
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#21
Hmm. Finding a dragon is hard, sound of thunder and then a man standing unsupported in the air... if he starts shouting about Hawaiian royalty, you're boned.
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows
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#22
You can use your battery to start fires if you have something dry, and something metal to bridge the terminals and get really, really hot.

Just watch you don't explode the hydrogen and get covered in acid. Nasty way to go, that.
________________________________
--m(^0^)m-- Wot, no sig?
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#23
Thank you for that wonderful thought, CD.  That actually made me laugh.  I did need that.
As for the content of your suggestion, I have had a truly inspired idea based off of it, which this post is too limited to contain. :3
Also, Dartz?  That's a trick for better men than me- or at least men more versed in the electrochemical arts.  I'd probably get it to explode.
**********
Entry 10 (Day 6)
A few seconds after seeing the floating man, I'd managed to stagger to my feet... not that it changed much.  My attention was still fixed firmly on the man above me, and my mind was on anything but where the rest of me was.
He looked to be about thirty years old, with shoulder-length gray hair (of that off shade that indicated it was true gray, and not the mishmash of graying hair) and stubble thick enough for me to see it from where I was.  The floating man was wearing the oddest outfit- it looked like somebody had taken a look at a perfectly good military uniform, decided it didn't have enough metal, and riveted bits of plate mail onto it.  In one hand, he held a long spear with a large tip.  It looked like somebody had taken an arrowhead, made the back half of it out of silver and the front half out of neon purple fire, expanded it to be something like two feet long, and then stuck it on a pole.  There was a large blue gem imbedded in the solid end of the spear's tip- rather gaudy, really, but I'm in no position to judge.
I must've stood there gawking for too long, because the man turned his head and yelled something urgent-sounding at me.  At the time, I had no idea what he was saying.  It sounded like German, if my E Nomine collection has taught me anything, but I don't understand a word of it.  It was apparently important, since he repeated it, pointing away from the cliff with his free hand.
I'd just started puzzling out what he wanted (still being disoriented from the nearby explosion) when he looked back the way he came, muttered something, then stuck his spear out in front of him.  With an odd noise- sort of a metallic double chime- a glowing purple triangle appeared, spinning, in midair, the center and each point of it adorned with a circle of the same purple light.  Thunder sounded, and the man recoiled as *something* slammed into the light show he'd conjured.
By this point, I'd realized where I was, what was happening, and even what the guy had been trying to tell me.  Run.
He didn't have to tell me again.  I ran back to my car as fast as my legs could take me, locked the door, and drove back down the cliff edge, struggling every second to wring out more speed without getting stuck in the mud.  A minute or so of pure, stress-laden agony later found me safely parked, close to where I'd entered this world.  Half my attention was focused on the fight.  I could see what the man was up against from here, and it didn't look good.
What about the other half of my attention?  Well, it's someplace between panic, shock, and a bit of contemplating my situation.  My train of thought just now went something like That was a mage.  I'm in Nanoha.  I'm in a freaking FICTIONAL UNIVERSE, and I didn't do it myself.  Odds of a ROB being involved are high. 
This is gonna suck.


My Unitarian Jihad Name is: Brother Atom Bomb of Courteous Debate. Get yours.

I've been writing a bit.
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#24
So glad to be of service.

Is that a Belkan triangle I spy? I'm afraid I don't recognise this dude even if so, I'm not up on much past A's though I did at least watch S once. I still have no idea for any other possibilities, nor any real way to improve your situation at this point.

Bit of luck at least, not getting your car stuck in the mud. Mentioning the feel of it widging about and worrying over the possibility might do good things for dramatic tension and audience immersion, with minimal rewriting.
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows
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#25
CHECK THE LAST SNIPPET.  EDITED AND EXTENDED.
Also, I've figured out where I'm going with this.  I'm going to finish writing up to the end of the prologue, which I already have plotted out on a macro scale.  At that point, you'll know what sort of SI this is, and where the plot is going.  At that point, I'm going to be looking for titles, and opinions on where I should go next.
This will not be an audience participation fic like most Spacebattles SIs end up being, nor will it be completely author-driven.  It'll be something in between.  I'd just like to say that I appreciate all the ideas and suggestions people have given.  That is all.
**********
Entry 11 (Day 6)
The battle went on for at least half an hour, according to the clock in my car.  The mage who'd shielded me was ridiculous- moving faster than the eye could see at times, stabbing and slashing with his spear- obviously a Device, given the gem on it and the casting it was doing- and blowing up trees with every missed shot.
For all his skill and power, the mage was fighting an uphill battle.  From where I was, I saw five specks up in the sky- given that four of them were shooting at the one that occasionally glowed purple, I could only assume the guy was facing four-to-one odds.  None of the enemies could move as fast as he could, or generate blasts of the same size, but the enemy squad made up for it with incredibly good teamwork.  As soon as the mage focused on one opponent enough to defeat its shields, the others would move as one to flank him, forcing him to break off or be shot in the back.  This happened several times, from what I could see.
After a few exchanges, the mage charged in towards one of his opponents, dropping his flight spell right before running into it.  Inertia and gravity dropped him under the enemy mage, after which he renewed his flight spell, smacked the enemy from below, then dashed up behind it at point-blank range.  There was a bright purple flash, and then he flew off.
I didn't see a body.
With only three enemies to deal with, the lone mage had a much easier time of it.  The second enemy fell victim to the exact same tactic- how dumb could these guys be?- while the third vanished in a torrent of purple light.  Oddly enough, the fourth enemy mage didn't do a thing to help its teammate.  It didn't even move when the lone mage dashed forward at high speed, burying his spear in its chest.
It did explode, though.  Not sure why that happened.
Speaking of events unexplained, I just leaned on my horn for about thirty seconds.  What in all the realms of the dead was I thinking?

My Unitarian Jihad Name is: Brother Atom Bomb of Courteous Debate. Get yours.

I've been writing a bit.
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