Bits of wit and whimsy

[Foxboy]

I'll start:
Keep your friends close and your enemies closer... that way, you've got them surrounded.
''We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat
them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.''

-- James Nicoll

[robkelk]

If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.

-Rob Kelk
"Read Or Die: not so much a title as a way of life." - Justin Palmer, 6 June 2007
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012

[Evil Midnight Lurker]

That which does not kill us must have missed us.
--Sam
"SPOON!"

[Ebony]

An oldie, but goody:
I would much rather die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather, than awake and screaming, like his passengers.Ebony the Black Dragon
Senior Editor, Living Room Games
http://www.lrgames.com
Ebony the Black Dragon
http://ebony14.livejournal.com

"Good night, and may the Good Lord take a Viking to you."

[crimsonsun]

I simply post The Notebooks of Lazarus Long

[Rev Dark]

The only difference between a martyr and a messiah is getting caught
I briefly considered going on a moral crusade, but there hasn't been a moral crusade since the dawn of religion, they've all been organized by bloody, self-serving hypocrites and I don't want to buck the trend.

[Ebony]

---

I simply post The Notebooks of Lazarus Long

---

Well, if you're going to bring up that annoying fucker, I must retaliate by directing you to the wisdom of Solomon Short.Ebony the Black Dragon
Senior Editor, Living Room Games
http://www.lrgames.com
Ebony the Black Dragon
http://ebony14.livejournal.com

"Good night, and may the Good Lord take a Viking to you."

[Bob Schroeck]

Being an Egyptologist necrophile means putting your mummy where your mouth is.

-- Bob
---------
The Internet Is For Norns.

[Rev Dark]

MILF! Mummy I'd Like to...ewwww!
(polite applause, that was aparticularly good one Bob.)

[jpub]

On The Rapture:
God does not play dice with the universe, he plays Keno.--
Christopher Angel, aka JPublic
The Works of Christopher Angel
"Camaraderie, adventure, and steel on steel. The stuff of legend! Right, Boo?"

[Herr Bad Moon]

---

I would much rather die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather, than awake and screaming, like his passengers.

---

While I had always said that I wanted to die in bed, what I really meant was that in my old age I wanted to be stepped on by an elephant while making love.
---
Jon
"And that must have caused my dad's brain to break in half, replaced by a purely mechanical engine of revenge!"

[ECSNorway]

A "sane" response to witnessing the arrival of the Doctor, or any other travelling do-gooder:
Cogito, ergo curro - I think, therefore I scram.--
"I give you the beautiful... the talented... the tirelessly atomic-powered...
R!
DOROTHY!
WAYNERIGHT!
--
Sucrose Octanitrate.
Proof positive that with sufficient motivation, you can make anything explode.

[DHBirr]

---

While I had always said that I wanted to die in bed, what I really meant was that in my old age I wanted to be stepped on by an elephant while making love.

---

Nick van Rijn's version: "At the age of a hundred and fifty, I plan to be shot by an outraged husband."
-----
Big Brother is watching you.  And damn, you are so bloody BORING.

[Ebony]

---

Nick van Rijn's version: "At the age of a hundred and fifty, I plan to be shot by an outraged husband."

---

David Gerrold's varies, but usually runs along the lines of: "I always imagined myself dying in bed, preferably due to the ministrations of a redheaded nymphomaniac."Ebony the Black Dragon
Senior Editor, Living Room Games
http://www.lrgames.com
Ebony the Black Dragon
http://ebony14.livejournal.com

"Good night, and may the Good Lord take a Viking to you."

[robkelk]

Those sound somewhat more fun than Spider Robinson's version:
"A man should live forever or die trying."

-Rob Kelk
"Read Or Die: not so much a title as a way of life." - Justin Palmer, 6 June 2007
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012

[Norgarth]

"The problem with political jokes is they get elected." - Henry Cate VII
"If little else, the brain is an educational toy." - Tom Robbins
"If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little." - George Carlin
"You are not superior just because you see the world in an odious light." - Vicomte de Chateaubriand
"In a few minutes a computer can make a mistake so great that it would have taken many men many months to equal it."__________________
I bet that if you cooked an elephant, you'd have a lot of leftovers.
___________________________
"I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific." - George Carlin