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Damning With Faint Praise Indeed...
03-26-2009, 12:30 AM
"It's the best romance since Titanic."
- J. Random Newspaper Reviewer on Twilight
---
"Oh, silver blade, forged in the depths of the beyond. Heed my summons and purge those who stand in my way. Lay
waste."
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oooh, burn
-Terry
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"so listen up boy, or pornography starring your mother will be the second worst thing to happen to you today"
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Twilight isn't really that bad, it's like.. ahh..
nevermind, it's shit, it really is. Avoid it if at all possible.
"No can brain today. Want cheezeburger."
From NGE: Nobody Dies, by Gregg Landsman
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5579457/1/NGE_Nobody_Dies
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Eragon and Twilight -- twin heralds of the invasion of Mary Sue....
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
I haven't read either, but y'know what's been said about Eragon?
[Person A] Hey, did you know it was written by a fifteen-year-old?
[Person B] Yeah. You can tell.
--Amanda
"Hey, it's not like dying is on my schedule for this week."
--Yumeko Asagiri, Bubblegum Crisis: The Next Generation, part 3
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Eh, I've read far worse things than Eragon. My brothers love it and they read R.A. Salvatore as well, so it's not like they don't know any better.
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yumekochan Wrote:I haven't read either, but y'know what's been said about Eragon?
[Person A] Hey, did you know it was written by a fifteen-year-old?
[Person B] Yeah. You can tell. Hey, Gordon Korman wrote his first book when he was twelve, and it was a decent start to a very good series.
-Essex
----------------------------------------------------
"Anyone can be a winner if their definition of victory is flexible enough." - The DM of the Rings XXXV
I actually enjoyed Titanic...
Twilight, however, was a complete turd.
--YJK, AKA Arnold Kim
---------------------------
Watch my brand new video blogs at my Youtube channel!
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Twilight isn't a bad movie.
No, no, really. Let me explain. It's got a few redeeming features. The cinematography's pretty good, actually. The use of light and colour in the shots is also quite pretty. They do a lot of cool stuff with filters. The acting's decent. The material might be cheesy, but the actual actors did a decent job.
And they made the most of their budget. It looks like a cheap movie, and clearly they didn't have a massive special effects budget. But it looks good for a cheap movie. Far as low-grade SFX cheats go, I gotta appreciate some of their tricks.
I don't think I wasted my money. It was actually a decent film, even though I think the books are complete---enh, well, books are books. So long as kids are reading, I don't care what it is.
That said, my buddy and I had this conversation before we went in:
"We're about to spend money on Twilight."
"Mm-hm."
"You saw the books. This is going to be bad."
"Look at it this way. We have zero expectations, so the only way it can go is up. Besides, I'm treating it like a comedy. I expect to laugh my ass off."
"So am I, but...look around, man. The cinema's full of teenage girls. They're gonna be pissed at us."
"Do...you care?"
"Well, no."
"Exactly."
And we did, y'know, sorta spend most of the movie playing Mystery Science Theater, so I dunno if I'm being entirely objective here.
(Yes, I was one of those noisy jerks in the cinema. I'm not usually. I was this time. I feel guilty, but given the subject matter, only a little...)
-- Acyl
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Quote: Acyl wrote:
And we did, y'know, sorta spend most of the movie playing Mystery Science Theater, so I dunno if I'm being entirely objective here.
(Yes, I was one of those noisy jerks in the cinema. I'm not usually. I was this time. I feel guilty, but given the subject matter, only a
little...)
This is why I no longer usually GO to see movies in the Cinema but rather wait till they come out on DVD... By which I mean I'm the noisy SOB, not that
they bug me. I'm old enough I think of it as "Rocky Horroring" rather than MSTing though.
Hear that thunder rolling till it seems to split the sky?
That's every ship in Grayson's Navy taking up the cry-
NO QUARTER!!!
-- "No Quarter", by Echo's Children
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Erm... should I be considered fortunate not to have the faintest clue what you people are talking about? What is
Twilight?
Quote: Logan Darklighter wrote:
Erm... should I be considered fortunate not to have the faintest clue what you people are talking about? What is
Twilight?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twilight_(novel)
Wikipedia to the rescue I think the first sentence there explains everything thats wrong about it really...
Quote: Twilight is a young-adult vampire-romance novel written by author Stephenie Meyer.
Brr. Young-adult vampire-romance novel? BTVS this definitely isn't .
_________________________________
Take Your Candle, Go Light Your World.
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Two words: sparkle vampire
-Terry
-----
"so listen up boy, or pornography starring your mother will be the second worst thing to happen to you today"
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Quote: Logan Darklighter wrote:
Erm... should I be considered fortunate not to have the faintest clue what you people are talking about?
Yes. Yes you should.
--Sam
"I like squirrels!"
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I wasn't quite as fortunate as Logan, but I'm happy to say -- to gloat, really -- that the sentence quoted by Wengfook told me more
about Twilight than I already knew -- and as much as I care to know. I've read a total of two books that could be considered "vampire
romance" ... and that's only if you count Fred Saberhagen's The Dracula Tapes (the other was Mercedes Lackey's
Children of the Night). I'm entirely happy to let it stay that way.
-----
Big Brother is watching you. And damn, you are so bloody BORING.
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Quote:... even though I think the books are complete---enh, well, books are books. So long as kids are reading, I don't care what it is.
Remind me to send your children a copy of the Necronomicon...
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
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___________________________
"I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific." - George Carlin
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Twilight. Ick.
Everyone who's reading Twilight should be reading McKinley's Sunshine instead. There is nothing sexy about being viewed as a cow!
Quote: sweno wrote:
Two words: sparkle vampire
Oh yeah! I remember my friend telling me about that one :O Apparently vampires fear the sun not because they catch on fire but rather because their skin
sparkles in the sunlight showing how inhuman they are :O
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Which means, as pointed out on TV Tropes' Fullmetal Alchemist WMG page, that the Armstrong family are clearly vampires who've been operating in the
open for generations.
--Sam
"If I could just reach those peanuts...!"
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Quote: Evil Midnight Lurker wrote:
Which means, as pointed out on TV Tropes' Fullmetal Alchemist WMG page, that the Armstrong family are clearly vampires who've been operating in the
open for generations.
--Sam
"If I could just reach those peanuts...!"
"This method of hiding our unnatural nature has been passed down in the Armstrong family for GENERATIONS!"
---
"Oh, silver blade, forged in the depths of the beyond. Heed my summons and purge those who stand in my way. Lay
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That, above, is exactly what I was thinking.
My Unitarian Jihad Name is: Brother Atom Bomb of Courteous Debate. Get yours.
I've been writing a bit.
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WengFook Wrote:Quote:sweno wrote:
Two words: sparkle vampire
Oh yeah! I remember my friend telling me about that one :O Apparently vampires fear the sun not because they catch on fire but rather because their skin sparkles in the sunlight showing how inhuman they are :O Yeah. This is, of course, a pivotal scene in the movie. I don't know about the books, of course. But in the film, up til that point, all they hint at is that vampires don't like to go out in the sun. Which is hardly a surprise. Then he goes all sparkly, and is all =( "I'm a monster." ... while the female lead gushes. "No, no, you're beautiful!"
You can picture what I'm talking about, right?
Thing is, there I am in the cinema. And I'm staring at the screen. Without even thinking, I blurt out:
"HOLY F**K, HE HAS BISHOUNEN SPARKLES!"
-- Acyl
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Naturally, when I saw that, I had to run over to the Bishie Sparkles page on the TV Tropes wiki and add "Twilight" to the examples.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
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