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My Father Is Dying
 
#26
Bob:

I'm sorry to hear this. And having been in the same sort of position with my grandfather whom I was living with till he had his stroke I can understand
very well how you feel.

You have my best wishes and thoughts, and prayers...

W. M. Dix
--Werehawk--
My mom's brief take on upcoming Guatemalan Elections "In last throes of preelection activities. Much loudspeaker vote pleading."
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#27
Thanks again.

A quick status update. According to the hospice nurse who saw him yesterday, my dad could pass away anywhere from immediately to ten days (nine days now). My
sister's coming up from Delaware to stay with my mom for the next few days, and it's likely we'll go back down this coming weekend as well.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
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My sister just called from my parents' home...
#28
My father passed away at some point within the last half hour.

I don't think I can say anything more right now.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
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#29
We're here when you need us, Bob.

Godspeed to your father. May that measure of him that lingered on in pain be now at peace, rejoined with the greater part of him that had gone on before.
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#30
I'm really sorry to hear that. I hope it was quiet and painless for him. I can't think of anything I can do to help, but if you can, just ask. Please
accept my deepest condolences and best wishes.
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#31
My condolences to you and yours, Bob. As others have mentioned, if you need, you have but to ask.

-wolffFalling out of aeroplanes and hiding out in holes

Waiting for the sunset to come, people going home

Jump out from behind them and shoot them in the head

Now everybody dancing the dance of the dead
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#32
Thank you. If there is anything, I will ask.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
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#33
It seems right to post some appropriate lyrics... The Journey, by Chris de Burgh, from the album The Road To Freedom

Go with love upon your journey, go with wonder in your heart,
May the light be there to guide you through the terrors of the dark,
You have always been a good friend, but I won’t know when you
Have arrived, and I wish that I could see you one more time;

There’s a rainbow on the water, there’s an eagle in the sky,
Can you hear me up where you are, can you see me when I cry?
You have left so much behind you, all the love you have given life,
And I wish that I could hold you one more time;

And they are always here beside us in a parallel point of view,
And still they call, the ones who’ve gone before,
Will you take me by the hand when I come through?

You have left so much behind you, all the love you have given life,
And I wish that I could hold you one more time;

Yes they are always here beside us, in a parallel point of view,
I hear them call, the ones who’ve gone before,
Will you bring me to the light when I come through?

Go with love upon your journey, go with wonder in your heart,
May there be someone beside you, who can hold you in the dark,
When you get down to the river, don’t pay him till the other side,
And I wish that I could see you one more time, how I wish that I
Could see you one more time.

Go with love upon your journey.

--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
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#34
Poul Anderson created a seeing-off in his book The Byworlder: "Wayfarer, farewell. For the gift of your love we thank you; and your gift shall be
cherished within us on every road we may wander, and live between us in every camp where we meet, and be given again when we likewise enter your quietness.
Until then we shall rejoice at sky, wind, water, and wide lands, in your name and memory-"
-----
Big Brother is watching you.  And damn, you are so bloody BORING.
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#35
Bob, I wish to discuss this with you sometime in the near future...

When you have the time, I'm ready.

(WARNING: It's along the same lines of what your going through)
_____
DEATH is Certain. The hour, Uncertain...
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#36
All I can say is that you have my deepest sympathies. I hope that the comfort of family and friends will see you through this trying time. Good luck.
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#37
I will be AFK from Friday through Sunday afternoon, and again Monday and Tuesday. My father's viewing is scheduled for Monday afternoon/evening, and the
service for Tuesday morning.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
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#38
My dad was a healthy and vibrant man until he suddenly fell ill with encephalitis in November 1998. He had two grand mal seizures which blew out the pupil in
his left eye, leaving him blind in that eye and with only 40% vision in his right. He spent a week in a coma, and then he had a stroke in his spinal cord that
left him paralyzed from the chest down. He spent six weeks in the hospital, then six weeks at Craig (a famous rehab facility which happens to be in town).

He was on all sorts of medication for his headaches, for his pain in general (he wore two of the maximum-strength fentanyl patches AND was taking morphine, and
it STILL wasn't enough), for nausea. Because of the nausea he could hardly keep any food down, and after one of his many health crises through the years
he had a feeding tube put into his stomach. Also because of that he rarely went around in his wheelchair, and so partly as a result of being in bed so much a
bone bridge formed between his hip and femur, so he couldn't sit up, so even if we did put him in the wheelchair it'd have to be reclined all the way
back. He eventually got a stent put in his head to relieve the water on the brain that was causing his headaches, but they never really went away.

He was frustrated at his situation, of course. He actually threw himself out of bed a couple times, breaking his leg one of those times. He didn't want
to live, and with every health crisis I'd be told he was going to die, only to have him pull through by some miracle (or sheer willpower of WANTING to
live). He made it through a lot of stuff that he shouldn't have.

In September 2005 he had his latest health crisis, after having been relatively healthy for about a year and a half. Turned out the meds he was taking were
wrecking his liver so he'd probably have to go off some of them. Docs also thought he might've had shingles but that turned out to be a false alarm.
He was released after a few days and we were told a doctor would be coming out to our house on the 23rd to draw some blood for some liver tests.

It never happened. He passed away on the morning of the 23rd. Something in him started to bleed, and he bled to death in his sleep from an upper GI bleed.
It happened just like he wanted it to. He was at home, he was asleep, and he had Mom by his side.

I knew he was going to die. We all knew it. But still, it happened so suddenly... Even if you know it's going to happen sometime, you're never truly
prepared when it does.

I am sorry, Bob.

--Amanda
"Hey, it's not like dying is on my schedule for this week."
--Yumeko Asagiri, Bubblegum Crisis: The Next Generation, part 3
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#39
I am briefly home between a weekend of being emotional support for my mother, and two days of ritual and ceremony celebrating my father's life. Peggy and I
will be driving down for the viewing tomorrow morning, staying over with my mother tomorrow night, and attending the actual funeral Tuesday morning.

There's been an interesting development -- in going through papers a couple days before his passing, my sister and I found a letter to my father from a
local schoolboy, sent back in November as part of a Veteran's Day assignment in his class. I composed a reply the day after Dad died, and on Friday morning
hand-delivered it to the school. I've been in touch with the teacher via e-mail, and I'm looking forward to seeing the response of the class to our
letter.

If anyone's interested, the funeral home is hosting a (temporary) page for my dad: http://www.oliveriefuneralhome.com/ -- click on my father's name in the "Current Visitation" list on
the bottom left. (And the controls to shut off the music are on the top right.)
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
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#40
I have just returned from my father's funeral.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
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#41
Welcome back; if you need anything, just ask.
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
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#42
I'm doing better than I expected. Either I mastered my fear, or it's faded considerably since my grandmother's funeral three years ago -- I could
actually enter the room and sit in the front row with my mother. (But I couldn't look at the open casket.) And I was able to serve as a pallbearer without
even a hint of anxiety.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
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