I Got Fired Today

[Bob Schroeck]

I just came across an ad on Dice.com that shouldn't have made it to the public:
Job Title:
C# Developer's
Job Description:
test job only
do not apply
5.12.09
1036hrs
Skills:
java C++ asp.net
Contact Information:
Tony Stark
Stark Holdings
4321 Stark Circle
New York, NY 10001
(ETA:  I am amused by this, but annoyed by Yuku.  Amper codes get used literally in message titles.  Angle brockets appear normally in preview but when the message actually posts, they and their contents disappear.  Grrr.)
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

[Dragonflight]

Reminds me of an entry somewhere in the Dell database. It's a training entry so that new hires can experiment with the system. It goes on for dozens of
"calls" about alien invasion, men with pointy ears and blue shirts, and strange people breaking into people's houses, kidnapping their computers
and performing obscene experiments with them before returning them.
---
Those who fear the darkness have never seen what the light can do.

[Bob Schroeck]

This must be my day for weird job entries. I think I've stumbled across a CareerBuilder page that was built from a similar template, except the designer
forgot to change the TITLE property -- because the caption on the window for this ad for a .NET/C# Developer reads "Find Jobs - Super Hero Sidekick Jobs
in Maryland, MD".

Just out of perverse curiosity, though, I'm going to search CareerBuilder for sidekick jobs...
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

[Wiregeek]

...what's the salary and benefits package associated with a sidekicking job?

and why am I tempted?
"No can brain today. Want cheezeburger."
From NGE: Nobody Dies, by Gregg Landsman
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5579457/1/NGE_Nobody_Dies

[Rev Dark]

The most common one, is a strange, reclusive, obsessive, sugar daddy, takes you under his wing, dresses you in tights and teaches you to wrestle.

Which depending on how you get your freak on, might be considered benefits.

Or not.

Enjoy the batcave

[jpub]

For a grand total of 5 minutes, before they caved under the avalanche of snarky comments, someone in the Controls department had an ad out that had as one of
its requirements Guru Meditation.

(From what I understand, it had something to do with an old Amiga machine they needed to update. Amigas would report Guru Meditation errors as their system
fault, and knowing the codes was a skillset in and of itself.)

[Bob Schroeck]

Well, sadly, searching CareerBuilder for sidekicking jobs turned up nothing. Not even the original ad. Oh well.

On the plus side, one of the applications I put in this morning got me a phone call from the recruiter behind the ad in less than an hour. After a chat, we decided I wasn't good for that position, but she's looking for other openings for me. Yeah, standard recruiter stuff, but it's still a boost to my emotional state. Further boost -- she let me know how much she thought I should be asking for in my applications; I was being conservative.

And I actually found a job opening that requires my primary programming skill, Delphi, and for the rest of its requirements I mostly qualified. Yes, I applied. Better yet, its pay scale starts at $50K a year more than I was making at Best, and tops out at double my old pay. Needless to say, I really want this job, and I'd be willing to take it at far less... say, only $20K or so above my old salary.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

[Bob Schroeck]

Note to Potential Employer: I will not take your skill requirements any more seriously just because you append nine exclamation points to the end of them. In fact, I might take them less seriously.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

[Black Aeronaut]

Bob Schroeck wrote:

---

Note to Potential Employer: I will not take your skill requirements any more seriously just because you append nine exclamation points to the end of them. In
fact, I might take them less seriously.

*SNRK!* The heck!? Are they having script kiddies write their stuff for them?

[Bob Schroeck]

Seen today in the job listings: "financail", "behind the seen".
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

[Bob Schroeck]

Heh. You should reply with "Coding Superhero" or something equally grand, just to see what kind of response you get.

While responding with that probably wouldn't do much, searching with it just might turn up http://www.linkedin.com/jobs?viewJob=&j ... 5707594114]this position.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

[Bob Schroeck]

Mm. It has been a good morning for jobhunting. I got a callback ten minutes after sending an application in, and apparently impressed the recruiter sufficiently that she's trying to set me up now with an interview at a very nice employer. I won't name names, but yeah. Nice.

More on this as it develops.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

[Wiregeek]

*crosses fingers*
"No can brain today. Want cheezeburger."
From NGE: Nobody Dies, by Gregg Landsman
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5579457/1/NGE_Nobody_Dies

[Bob Schroeck]

The interesting thing about this position is that the desired skill set is almost as odd as mine (though the intersection is not as large as I'd like it to
be). It's so odd the recruiter openly told me she'd despaired of finding anyone that fit it, but I have enough experience that's, well, parallel to
what they want in addition to what I have that's exactly what they want that she figures I'm a good candidate.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

[Bob Schroeck]

I am not amused by recruiters who pack the job title field with all manner of language and technology names such that my CareerBuilder.com search results always flag the job as "Excellent Match" regardless of whether actually it is or not.

I'm lookin' at you, CyberCoders.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

[Acyl]

I feel the pain, there.
The various employment services I'm signed on with keep telling me about a firm called Meltwater News, mmkay? And I mean, they keep telling me that Meltwater is hiring.
Now, my profiles state that I'm interested in working in media, research, corporate communications, yeah? And Meltwater is a company that produces digests for corporate clients. So far so good, right?
...except, all they're hiring is sales and account managers. ie, they're not hiring folks to write, they're hiring people to sell their service to clients.
Which is not what I wanna do. But I keep getting stuff from 'em...
-- Acyl

[Bob Schroeck]

And you can't shut it off. Yeah, I've got a few like that.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

[Bob Schroeck]

You know, I don't care that the top end of the pay range is $5000 less than I was making at Best. When the fifth of five job requirements is

Sense of humor. We work hard but laugh a lot along the way. We think only happy people come up with creative solutions.

I'm applying for the job.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

[Bob Schroeck]

No, CareerBuilder, I do not want bartender jobs.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

[Bob Schroeck]

Granted, it's with a recruiter and not an employer, but it's my first freaking interview since this whole mess began.

It's also in Manhattan, on Fifth Avenue, on the day of the ticker-tape parade for the Yankees.

It's also my first job interview in nearly 20 years, and I'm terrified of finding out that no one wants to hire me at all.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

[robkelk]

You're getting your first interview faster than average, if what I'm hearing from other people I know is at all accurate... This is a good sign.

It's also in Manhattan, on Fifth Avenue, on the day of the ticker-tape parade for the Yankees.

You might want to get there early, unless you can avoid the crowds at street level somehow.

To get you into the right mood, here's http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/worklife ... index.html]CNN's list of Top 10 Interview Mistakes. Don't do these.

Then, to get you into the wrong mood , here's http://abcnews.go.com/Business/job-inte ... id=8940390]ABC News' Job Interview Horror Stories. However your interview goes, remember: it could have been as bad as one of these.

And here's SnagAJob's http://www.snagajob.com/job-resources/j ... -tips.aspx]Job Interview Tips, with an interactive "interview game".

One more thing... I've found that almost every interviewer asks something along the line of "what do you hope to get from this job?" Apparently, what they're really asking is "what can you give the company if we give you this job?" Focus on the synergy between you and the company (and learn to at least tolerate phrases such as "focus on the synergy" until you've got the job...)
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012

[Jeanne Hedge]

Congratulations!

(too bad about the Yankess, though)

Jeanne Hedge
www.jhedge.com

"Believe me, if I have to go the rest of my life without companionship, knowing myself won't be a problem."
-- Gabrielle of Potadeia

[Jinx999]

Good luck.

[Dragonflight]

I've had more recruiter interviews than I can possibly count. They're very open, pleasant people to talk to. The thing to remember is that their job
isn't really to see if you're technically qualified. You may get lots of questions on technical knowledge and so on... but the real reason you're
meeting them is that they want to see what kind of person they will be presenting to their client. Are you personable? Do you look confident? Do you sound
knowledgeable and on topic, or do you ramble about video games and use teenager slang terms a lot? Stuff like that.

The interview is about people skills. The questions are designed to get information, yes. But what they're going for is "What will my client think
when I show them this person? Will that client want to do business with me again?"

Best way to prepare for any technical or work-related questions you might get thrown? Write up your own advertisement for the job you're interviewing for.
Try to come up with ten to fifteen questions you would want to know from the person applying. Don't forget to add human-resources type questions. Stuff
like, "Where do you see yourself in five years?" Or "What are your greatest strengths and weaknesses?". Then try to come up with natural
sounding answers to these questions.

Going into an interview, I'll have about twenty or thirty answers I've figured out ahead of time that answer some of these questions. I don't
rehearse it because I don't want it sounding scripted. But I at least know the general idea of what I'm going to say, so my answers sound confident,
without a lot of fumbling around in the interview trying to think it through.

Oh, in the Strengths and Weaknesses question? Don't pick a weakness that makes you look bad. Pick a weakness that could be considered a strength. "I
get mad easily and hit people" will cost you the interview, but "I tend to overwork now and then," shows you have a weakness that plays to their
advantage. Whatever works for you.

Above all, be calm, confident, and enjoy the interview. That will help you a lot! Good luck!
---
Those who fear the darkness have never seen what the light can do.

[Bob Schroeck]

Thanks for the links, Rob -- I'll have to check them later tonight as I'm going to be a little preoccupied for the next couple hours. And everyone
else, thanks for the advice.

As it turns out, the parade will not be a problem. It starts at the time my interview is supposed to end, and is happening a few dozen blocks south of where
I'll be. At the time I wrote the post above, I hadn't checked with Google maps and the NYC municipal website to get the relevant info. I now have it.
(And may I just say, Streetview in Manhattan will make finding the address a snap now...)
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.