A question with implications - and probably consequences

[The Wanderer]

This line popped into my head on the way home from work last night, and I just had to share it. It's spoken in the manner of someone sincerely trying to figure out the world they live in, like a not-presently-being-obnoxious child asking a question of a parent.

"Friend Computer? What is a friend?"

[Dartz]

There can be only one answer

"That information is above your clearance level, young citizen"
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--m(^0^)m-- Wot, no sig?

[DHBirr]

Another possible answer, considering that we're talking "Friend Computer" here, is "I am that I am."
(You may wish to stand well away from DHBirr, to avoid being hit by some of the lightning he's got coming.)
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Big Brother is watching you.  And damn, you are so bloody BORING.

[Jorlem]

"A friend is a being that is trusted implicitly, as you trust Friend Computer, and Friend Computer alone."
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Stand between the Silver Crystal and the Golden Sea.
"Youngsters these days just have no appreciation for the magnificence of the legendary cucumber."  --Krityan Elder, Tales of Vesperia.

[The Wanderer]

@Dartz: That's plausible, albeit unfortunately not especially interesting.

@DHBirr: Wouldn't that be more the FCCC-P answer than the Computer's own?

@Jorlem:

That leads by a fairly direct line to the follow-up question: "Friend Computer, do you have any friends?"

The idea being that it's backed by a thought process of "well, since it's so good having Friend Computer as a friend, I want Friend Computer to have that experience too!". (Whether the citizen actually thinks this, or is simply using it as an excuse to ask the question, is another matter.)

Now, this one I would fully expect to get the "that information is above your clearance level" response, at a minimum - and quite possibly an execution into the bargain. But on the slim chance that it doesn't, the possibilities could be interesting.

[Ebony]

"Citizen, this is an interesting philosophical discussion. I am very pleased that you wish to entertain this discussion. However, you will require the appropriate paperwork to engage in this philosophical discussion in order for you to continue. And, you are currently late for a Mission Briefing with High Programmer Com-U-NST. He has a Very Important Mission for you in RED Sector, so you don't want to be late. Being late to a Mission Briefing would be treasonous. Once you finish your Very Important Mission, you can fill out the forms to engage in a philosophical discussion on the nature of friendship. Until then, trust me when I tell you that I Am Your Friend., and you need to do what I say."
As Friend Computer finishes this statement, there is the unmistakeable whine of the Discipline Cannons powering up. This conversation is now over.
Ebony the Black Dragon
http://ebony14.livejournal.com

"Good night, and may the Good Lord take a Viking to you."