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I'm being kicked out.
04-21-2014, 05:34 PM
My dad suddenly has decided to put himself into a nursing home. But I'm apparently being kicked out of the house TODAY. My brother has told me that I will not be staying in this house one more night.
Apparently I have a home with my mom until I can get back on my own again. But that's in New Mexico, far away from most job prospects that I'm aware of. And I have no guarantee of a good internet connection in the foreseeable future. Mom has a connection, but I don't know what it is. Hell, she may be on a modem still for all I know. I'm going to TRY and find a friend to stay with in the Dallas area, but I have no guarantee of finding someone I can stay with until I can get a new job (my job the last couple of years has been keeping Dad out of the nursing home. Apparently I've failed)
If you don't see me online for a few weeks it's because I'm trying to stay off the street anyway I can and save my belongings.
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I'm not sure it gets much scarier than that. Best of luck.
When you get back, we'll be here.
My Unitarian Jihad Name is: Brother Atom Bomb of Courteous Debate. Get yours.
I've been writing a bit.
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Good luck.
And I'm very grateful I have a decent family.
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Holy crap. Good luck, Logan.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
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Logan, sorry, but you're in DFW area? Do you have a vehicle?
I'm in Abilene (2 1/2 hours west of FW on I20) If I can convince my wife, we may have an emergency futon for you for a while.
If that doesn't work, I wish you the best!
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Jeebus H Crispie.
--
Sucrose Octanitrate.
Proof positive that with sufficient motivation, you can make anything explode.
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Update: My brother is not an incredible douche.
He wants me to go over to Moms and stay for awhile. And he's made it clear that as soon as he has things sorted here that I'm welcome to stay with him and live. He's not exactly happy about this whole thing either. But if Dad's going, then the house has to be sold and he has to bust ass to do some cleaning to put it on the market.
My dad on the other hand is coming back to stay for a couple nights more, but apparently doesn't want me here at the same time.
I got frustrated last night with his inability to understand a simple medicine time list. To the point where he was wandering in every 30 minutes or so and asking - did I take this? What does this mean? When "This" is simply the time I wrote down on his list for him to take his medicine.
I finally snapped at him when he woke me up like the 3rd time in a row.
So apparently I was "too aggressive" to stay around any longer.
Thanks Dad. Can I get my original dad back now? FUCK.
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Oh, dear.
Since your brother isn't letting you stay, I trust he's helping you pack and get to the bus station (if you don't have a car of your own).
EDIT: And I see the post that you made while I was making this one. Two cleaners would do the work faster than one... just saying.
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
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It would be. But that's not the problem. The problem is apparently that Dad and I can no longer be in the same place at the same time.
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Drogan. My phone number is 817 657 8250.
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Quote:Logan Darklighter wrote:
I got frustrated last night with his inability to understand a simple medicine time list. To the point where he was wandering in every 30 minutes or so and asking - did I take this? What does this mean? When "This" is simply the time I wrote down on his list for him to take his medicine.
I finally snapped at him when he woke me up like the 3rd time in a row.
...
Can I get my original dad back now? FUCK.
Sounds like my problems with my mother, almost to the word. She has developed the annoying habit of calling us at random hours of the day and night to complain that the house is too hot or too cold (it's always at the same temperature), or to ask if the "thing on the wall" (the thermostat) is okay, and I've started to snap at her far too often. I installed a lockbox around the thermostat in January during the polar vortex when I discovered she was turning it to A/C whenever the house got "too warm". We're trying to find an assisted living residence we can afford for her, but so far no real luck.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
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Same thing happened to me with my grandma(RIP).
It is very difficult to deal with sometimes and can drive you up the wall.
But I don't regret what little I could do to make her life easier on her last years.
“We can never undo what we have done. We can never go back in time. We write history with our decisions and our actions. But we also write history with our responses to those actions. We can leave the pain and the damage in our wake, unattended, or we can do the work of acknowledging and fixing, to whatever extent possible, the harm that we have caused.”
— On Repentance and Repair: Making Amends in an Unapologetic World by Danya Ruttenberg
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Update from the phone, Logan's on his way out to his Mom's, and he sounded good, not panicked or too stressed.
Stephen Mann
Unregistered
My 75 year old mom suffers from moderate dementia. I've an hour away and don't drive. My brother lives 5 miles away and does drive, so he's been elected to be her on-call support, chauffeur, handyman and explainer. I go down on the occasional weekend to give him some relief. This has been going on for a year or so, and my brother who isn't the most patient of people, is being driven berserk.
We've been trying to convince to go into an assisted living situation, but she won't leave the house the family has lived in for 44 years. She constantly complains of boredom and isolation (she lives out in the boonies, can't drive, has no useful hobbies, and all her friends have died or moved far away), but won't leave the house.
To the others with elderly/handicapped parents, I feel for you.
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I had similar experiences with my own grandmother while I was staying with her and my uncle for a brief time. It was terrible. I would wake up early in the mornings to go to work, and I would find her looking out the window... she would ask me what's going on and who's how this was (which was the absolute worst considering she'd been living in that place for more than fifty years).
There was nothing that could be done, though. There was no means for the family to put her in an assisted living home, and she was deteriorating too rapidly. Within the year she was on an hospice-at-home program so we could let her go in as peaceful and dignified of a manner as possible.
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