A question about what action is appropriate

[robkelk]

Let's assume for the sake of argument that you're one of a couple-dozen people involved in a series of contests on a webforum (not this one). The series has been going on for quite a while - a new contest every month for over a half decade. It's a reasonably popular contest series, with apparent camaraderie amongst the regular participants.

The person who has been organizing the contests and making sure the prizes went to the winners for that over-half-decade announces that he has to leave the contests for personal reasons.

Do you:

1) Get him a small farewell e-gift and send him a PM saying "thank you for all your hard work"?
2) Send him a PM saying "thank you for all your hard work" without getting a gift?
3) Don't send him a PM, and carry on as if nothing had changed?
4) Other (specify)

Let's put a few lines in here so folks can consider their answers before continuing ...

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...there, that should be enough.

As some folks may have guessed, this isn't a hypothetical situation.

Is it really so odd that I was the only person to choose option 1, only one other person chose option 2, and the other score-or-so people chose option 3?
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012

[Ankhani]

I expect that this not-so-hypothetical situation can largely be attributed to the impersonal nature of the internet. It is not so odd that this happened, but it is, perhaps, unfortunate.
---

The Master said: "It is all in vain! I have never yet seen a man who can perceive his own faults and bring the charge home against himself."

>Analects: Book V, Chaper XXVI

[DHBirr]

What Ankhani said, although I'm inclined to leave out the word, "perhaps."
I believe, though, that if I'd been part of such a forum, I'd have put a "thank-you" in open forum rather than as a PM.  My mind just doesn't usually run to PMs.  And it probably wouldn't occur to me to get a gift; someone else would have to suggest it.  I'm a bit thoughtless that way, mea culpa.
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Big Brother is watching you.  And damn, you are so bloody BORING.

[Ebony]

I have to say that I would likely choose Option 2, unless someone else brought up Option 1. Primarily because of, as Ankhani said, the fact that the Internet is pretty impersonal and anonymous. No offense, but y'all are just text on a screen until I meet you face-to-face.
Ebony the Black Dragon
http://ebony14.livejournal.com

"Good night, and may the Good Lord take a Viking to you."

[ECSNorway]

I'd say that unless I had a really good rapport with the guy and had had a lot of fun with the contests, I'd be most likely to go with a modified #2 - post a public "Thanks for all the hard work, we'll miss you, hope your personal issues resolve well" reply to the announcement. If the group as a whole was collecting donations for #1, I might chip in a couple of dollars.

Given GIFT theory, however, I'd not be surprised to find a dozen or so whingers going "Hey, you're too cool for that, please come back!".
--
Sucrose Octanitrate.
Proof positive that with sufficient motivation, you can make anything explode.

[robkelk]

Well, I wasn't going to mention them...
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012

[ordnance11]

I believe that most people believe that everything on the internet should be free. That's why option 3 is the most chosen. Also how well they knew the guy. Last but not least, what manners were they taught. 
__________________
Into terror!,  Into valour!
Charge ahead! No! Never turn
Yes, it's into the fire we fly
And the devil will burn!
- Scarlett Pimpernell

[Rev Dark]

Rob, the numbers sound right on the money.
My experience has been for an internet audience - even a large one, your breakdown between boosters (your option 1) enthusiasts (your option 2) Hangers on (your option 3) and Consumers (option 4) is pretty wide.  for every hundred viewers I would put it at 1, 2,3, 94 - and that might be generous. 
The rule I go with is that most consumers are just that - they consume to product, without offering feedback plus or minus.  This can sometimes be daunting as a creator or organizer, but it not really an indication of their engagement.  They consume the product, so they see value in it and appreciate it at some level - even if they are not vocal about it.