So... I've had a note for a scene where Usagi joins her school's martial arts club in my notes for chapter 3 for some months. And a couple days ago, I reached that point.
And I overdid it horribly. Too much awesome Usagi too soon. So I scrapped it and rewrote it. (Well, "scrapped" is the wrong word -- I recycled about a third of the material. But you know what I mean.)
Anyway, I thought you folks might get a kick out of what went into my discard file. So here's a scene that will never appear in Drunkard's Walk S.
Shujuku Daisuke watched impassively as the last few members of
the Martial Arts club hurried in and took their place in the
line at the edge of the mats. He noted who was last and made
a mental note to give them some "special attention" during the
session. Martial arts was about discipline, and it showed poor
discipline to rush in out of breath at the very last moment.
"That's everyone," his second, Kaizoe Toshihiro, said from where
he stood to the right and slightly behind Daisuke.
"Right," Daisuke grunted, then gave the club a stern looking-
over. But before he could address them he heard a tentative
"Excuse me?" from the door.
There was a girl peering in around the door frame. It was that
blonde -- the ditzy one with the long ponytails who was always
the last one in the gate in the morning. He couldn't remember
her name. "Can I help you?" Daisuke asked gruffly.
"Um, yeah, I think so." She stepped fully into the room, and
bowed. "Tsukino Usagi," she introduced herself, then stood, feet
together, rocking nervously forward and back as she held her
bookbag before her in both hands. "I know it's a little late,
but I was wondering if I could join the club?"
Daisuke and Toshihiro traded glances. "Do you *know* any
martial arts?" Toshihiro asked the girl.
She nodded once, briskly. "Some."
"What style?" he pressed.
She let go of the bookbag with one hand to rub the back of her
neck. "Um, I've been taking private lessons, and sensei doesn't
really focus on any one style."
"Then what belt do you have?" Daisuke growled.
"Sensei hasn't given me a ranking yet." She tilted her head.
"What belt system do you use?"
Daisuke rolled his eyes. What a waste of time. "The same as
pretty much every other school club in Japan -- white for
beginners, green and brown for the mid-levels, and black for
basic mastery." He just barely avoided the dismissive "duh!"
that he really had wanted to add.
She bit her lip, apparently ignorant of his disdain. "I haven't
been training long, so I'm probably a white belt."
"Your sensei won't be upset that you want to join the club?"
Toshihiro asked, picking up on Daisuke's attitude.
"Oh no!" she said brightly. "Sensei says, 'learn from everyone
you can -- there's no one who can't teach you something useful'."
She gave them a hopeful smile.
"Whaddaya think?" Toshihiro in a low whisper.
Daisuke snorted. "I think we need to send her packing. We don't
want some bimbo wasting our time."
"Have Tanaka 'evaluate' her?"
Daisuke chuckled without letting it show on his face. "Yeah,
that'll do. Okay, Tsukino-kun," he raised his voice, "I'm club
president Shujuku. To join the club you gotta, what d'ya call
it... audition. You'll spar with one of us and if vice president
Kaizoe here and I think you're good enough, you can join."
The hopeful smile transformed into a brilliant one. "Thank you,
Shujuku-san!" She bowed deeply, then set her bookbag against the
base of the wall next to her and pulled off her uwabaki. As she
was about to step onto the mat, she paused. "Do you have a spare
gi I could use? Sensei says, 'If you can't fight in the clothes
you wear every day, you can't fight', but my mother will be upset
if I mess up my uniform."
Daisuke rolled his eyes again. "Someone get her a gi."
As Tsukino ran off to change into her borrowed gi, Daisuke
motioned Tanaka to the center of the mat. "Sempai?" he asked.
"You're best in the club after me and Toshi. I want you to
scare Tsukino off," Daisuke told him. "Don't really hurt her,
but maybe give her a bruise or two. Show her we're not playing
here."
Tanaka smiled. "Got it."
When Tsukino returned a few minutes later (tripping on the edge
of the mat to Daisuke's private amusement), the pair faced off
in the center, then bowed to each other. He stood to one side to
act as referee while Toshihiro joined the rest of the club at the
edge. As soon as he was clear, Daisuke barked, "Begin!"
Tanaka bounced on the balls of his feet for a few minutes while
the girl simply stood and watched him curiously. When it became
clear to him that she wouldn't attack him first, he launched a
simple straight punch at her face.
She didn't move at all, and just watched the incoming fist with
a curious, mildly confused expression on her face -- until the
last possible moment, when with the slightest turn of her head
she avoided it.
*The hell?* Daisuke thought.
Tanaka narrowed his eyes and threw another punch. Again, she
watched it with that same mildly confused look and deftly avoided
it at the last second. He stepped in and threw a power punch at
her stomach. When she twisted to avoid it he hopped back and
launched a crescent kick.
A moment later, Tanaka was on his back, and her knee was in his
stomach. Somehow she had trapped one of his arms under him, and
she held the other in a lock with her left hand, while the fingers
her right hand gently gripped his Adam's apple in an unmistakable
-- and potentially deadly -- eagle claw strike.
"Break!" Daisuke bellowed as Toshihiro dashed across the mat to
his side. Tsukino released Tanaka's throat and arm and leapt
back; she stumbled and fell, only to roll the fall and pop back
up on her feet.
Daisuke held a hand out to Tanaka and hauled him to his feet.
"You okay, man?"
"The hell was that?" Tanaka said, shaking his head. "I don't
even know what she *did*. I started a kick and the next thing I
know I'm flat on the ground and she's about to rip my throat
out."
"I'm sorry," Tsukino said from where she stood a couple meters
away. "It's just that you're so much slower than sensei is. I
thought you were just playing with me."
"Slow?" Daisuke asked. Tanaka just shook his head.
"Dai," Toshi whispered. "Whoever her sensei is, he's teaching
her a *combat* form, not a sport form. And if Tanaka's slow
compared to him..."
"Yeah." Daisuke thought about it. "And if she can do that after
only a couple weeks, I want to meet him." He chuckled. "Damn,
do I want to meet him." As Tanaka tottered back to join the rest
of the club, he clapped his hands. "Okay, Tsukino-kun, you've
impressed me. You're in."
"Yatta!" she squealed in ear-piercing tones, bouncing up and down
on the mat. She abruptly stopped and bowed to them. "Thank you,
sempai!"
"You're welcome. I think we can safely say you're a bit beyond a
white belt, although one quick spar isn't enough to say just how
much, or where you need to improve. So we're going to give you
a... green?"
He glanced at Toshi, who nodded. "Green."
"A green belt for now." He turned to the rest of the club, still
lined up along the wall. "Members of the Martial Arts Club of
Juuban Municipal Junior High School, I present to you our newest
member, Tsukino Usagi!"
And I overdid it horribly. Too much awesome Usagi too soon. So I scrapped it and rewrote it. (Well, "scrapped" is the wrong word -- I recycled about a third of the material. But you know what I mean.)
Anyway, I thought you folks might get a kick out of what went into my discard file. So here's a scene that will never appear in Drunkard's Walk S.
Shujuku Daisuke watched impassively as the last few members of
the Martial Arts club hurried in and took their place in the
line at the edge of the mats. He noted who was last and made
a mental note to give them some "special attention" during the
session. Martial arts was about discipline, and it showed poor
discipline to rush in out of breath at the very last moment.
"That's everyone," his second, Kaizoe Toshihiro, said from where
he stood to the right and slightly behind Daisuke.
"Right," Daisuke grunted, then gave the club a stern looking-
over. But before he could address them he heard a tentative
"Excuse me?" from the door.
There was a girl peering in around the door frame. It was that
blonde -- the ditzy one with the long ponytails who was always
the last one in the gate in the morning. He couldn't remember
her name. "Can I help you?" Daisuke asked gruffly.
"Um, yeah, I think so." She stepped fully into the room, and
bowed. "Tsukino Usagi," she introduced herself, then stood, feet
together, rocking nervously forward and back as she held her
bookbag before her in both hands. "I know it's a little late,
but I was wondering if I could join the club?"
Daisuke and Toshihiro traded glances. "Do you *know* any
martial arts?" Toshihiro asked the girl.
She nodded once, briskly. "Some."
"What style?" he pressed.
She let go of the bookbag with one hand to rub the back of her
neck. "Um, I've been taking private lessons, and sensei doesn't
really focus on any one style."
"Then what belt do you have?" Daisuke growled.
"Sensei hasn't given me a ranking yet." She tilted her head.
"What belt system do you use?"
Daisuke rolled his eyes. What a waste of time. "The same as
pretty much every other school club in Japan -- white for
beginners, green and brown for the mid-levels, and black for
basic mastery." He just barely avoided the dismissive "duh!"
that he really had wanted to add.
She bit her lip, apparently ignorant of his disdain. "I haven't
been training long, so I'm probably a white belt."
"Your sensei won't be upset that you want to join the club?"
Toshihiro asked, picking up on Daisuke's attitude.
"Oh no!" she said brightly. "Sensei says, 'learn from everyone
you can -- there's no one who can't teach you something useful'."
She gave them a hopeful smile.
"Whaddaya think?" Toshihiro in a low whisper.
Daisuke snorted. "I think we need to send her packing. We don't
want some bimbo wasting our time."
"Have Tanaka 'evaluate' her?"
Daisuke chuckled without letting it show on his face. "Yeah,
that'll do. Okay, Tsukino-kun," he raised his voice, "I'm club
president Shujuku. To join the club you gotta, what d'ya call
it... audition. You'll spar with one of us and if vice president
Kaizoe here and I think you're good enough, you can join."
The hopeful smile transformed into a brilliant one. "Thank you,
Shujuku-san!" She bowed deeply, then set her bookbag against the
base of the wall next to her and pulled off her uwabaki. As she
was about to step onto the mat, she paused. "Do you have a spare
gi I could use? Sensei says, 'If you can't fight in the clothes
you wear every day, you can't fight', but my mother will be upset
if I mess up my uniform."
Daisuke rolled his eyes again. "Someone get her a gi."
As Tsukino ran off to change into her borrowed gi, Daisuke
motioned Tanaka to the center of the mat. "Sempai?" he asked.
"You're best in the club after me and Toshi. I want you to
scare Tsukino off," Daisuke told him. "Don't really hurt her,
but maybe give her a bruise or two. Show her we're not playing
here."
Tanaka smiled. "Got it."
When Tsukino returned a few minutes later (tripping on the edge
of the mat to Daisuke's private amusement), the pair faced off
in the center, then bowed to each other. He stood to one side to
act as referee while Toshihiro joined the rest of the club at the
edge. As soon as he was clear, Daisuke barked, "Begin!"
Tanaka bounced on the balls of his feet for a few minutes while
the girl simply stood and watched him curiously. When it became
clear to him that she wouldn't attack him first, he launched a
simple straight punch at her face.
She didn't move at all, and just watched the incoming fist with
a curious, mildly confused expression on her face -- until the
last possible moment, when with the slightest turn of her head
she avoided it.
*The hell?* Daisuke thought.
Tanaka narrowed his eyes and threw another punch. Again, she
watched it with that same mildly confused look and deftly avoided
it at the last second. He stepped in and threw a power punch at
her stomach. When she twisted to avoid it he hopped back and
launched a crescent kick.
A moment later, Tanaka was on his back, and her knee was in his
stomach. Somehow she had trapped one of his arms under him, and
she held the other in a lock with her left hand, while the fingers
her right hand gently gripped his Adam's apple in an unmistakable
-- and potentially deadly -- eagle claw strike.
"Break!" Daisuke bellowed as Toshihiro dashed across the mat to
his side. Tsukino released Tanaka's throat and arm and leapt
back; she stumbled and fell, only to roll the fall and pop back
up on her feet.
Daisuke held a hand out to Tanaka and hauled him to his feet.
"You okay, man?"
"The hell was that?" Tanaka said, shaking his head. "I don't
even know what she *did*. I started a kick and the next thing I
know I'm flat on the ground and she's about to rip my throat
out."
"I'm sorry," Tsukino said from where she stood a couple meters
away. "It's just that you're so much slower than sensei is. I
thought you were just playing with me."
"Slow?" Daisuke asked. Tanaka just shook his head.
"Dai," Toshi whispered. "Whoever her sensei is, he's teaching
her a *combat* form, not a sport form. And if Tanaka's slow
compared to him..."
"Yeah." Daisuke thought about it. "And if she can do that after
only a couple weeks, I want to meet him." He chuckled. "Damn,
do I want to meet him." As Tanaka tottered back to join the rest
of the club, he clapped his hands. "Okay, Tsukino-kun, you've
impressed me. You're in."
"Yatta!" she squealed in ear-piercing tones, bouncing up and down
on the mat. She abruptly stopped and bowed to them. "Thank you,
sempai!"
"You're welcome. I think we can safely say you're a bit beyond a
white belt, although one quick spar isn't enough to say just how
much, or where you need to improve. So we're going to give you
a... green?"
He glanced at Toshi, who nodded. "Green."
"A green belt for now." He turned to the rest of the club, still
lined up along the wall. "Members of the Martial Arts Club of
Juuban Municipal Junior High School, I present to you our newest
member, Tsukino Usagi!"
-- Bob
I have been Roland, Beowulf, Achilles, Gilgamesh, Clark Kent, Mary Sue, DJ Croft, Skysaber. I have been
called a hundred names and will be called a thousand more before the sun grows dim and cold....
I have been Roland, Beowulf, Achilles, Gilgamesh, Clark Kent, Mary Sue, DJ Croft, Skysaber. I have been
called a hundred names and will be called a thousand more before the sun grows dim and cold....
