[OOC][PLOT] The Fifth Thread of Planning for Arc 1 - Arrivals

[robkelk]

Hrm... Gonna be awful hard for me to come up with a GOOD reason for Hotaru and Setsuna to come down to San Antonio if they're over yonder in Mississippi. I can probably think of something... but it will be a while until I can come up with a reason that doesn't sound like an ass-pull.

Yeah, that's the thing.

Even if we have HAL doing nothing but look for them, it'll take a while to find them - Hotaru is making herself and Setsuna as invisible as possible until Setsuna's able to function on her own. Then there's the matter of making contact with them once they've been located.

If we put them in Mississipi, they might be settled in by the time the other groups find them.


But we can still put other chrononauts in the building, such as...

Suite 2:  Dr. Tony Newman and Dr. Douglas Phillips (assuming we're keeping to a theme).

Suite 3: a "Doctor John Smith" and companion(s), who often fiddles with an odd blue box in the backyard...

[robkelk]

Rob, just got around to that writeup you did for Musujime.  It looks good, but I think that Leonard's interest in the residents at Blossom will be short lived once he finds out that Kaname and Teletha are at Westwoods*.

That is unless you can think of a way he could pit the two groups against each other, or attain some kid of leverage.

Thoughts?
...

He isn't going to ignore the other residences - especially with one that has a resident who demonstrated the ability to raise the dead - but, yes, he'll focus on Westwoods once he discovers where his sister is.

[Black Aeronaut]

Edit: ACK! I started working on this post in reply to the thing about Hotaru, but I was out running errands and....

Hmmm...

I'll see if I can come up with something that will be gratifying to all.

Given her past experiences, Hotaru strikes me as someone who would be slow to trust except where given the seal of approval from the other Senshi. And Benjamin and Donald rate in the "We trust them with our lives" zone as far as the Senshi are concerned.

Kinda playing with the idea that she gets approached by someone in the know... but they then back off very quickly once she whips out Silence Glaive, them knowing exactly what kind of business that weapon means. But then, that would put her on the radar - even if she is able to stay out of sight, her presence would be known of.

[Labster]

Well, lost my dog today to his illness.  Or more correctly, we decided to end Shasta's suffering after a two-week fight with acute anorexia, caused by some undiagnosable problem.  Two weeks ago he was strong and playful, and by today he was all skin and bones.  He still wanted to play and walk and hunt, but didn't have enough energy.  Had him on enough prednisone that it would have made me ravenous along with some appetite stimulants, and he still couldn't bring himself to eat.  I was expecting him to hang around for three or four more years, but sometimes people just come down with a case of Martian Death Flu and all of a sudden they're gone.

Some of these feelings might make it into a story about Sakaki, but not tonight.  Tonight, now that all the stress of the decision is over, I'm thinking of all the good times we had, and his advice for me: play is the most important part of life.

[robkelk]

Oh, dear.

Take the time you need, Brent. We'll still be here later.

[Rajvik]

It is never fun when you have to do that, and you have my condolences on your loss.

[robkelk]

... I'm hoping that it'll put me in the right frame of mind for when in There's Nothing Better we have a suddenly alive Pyrrha whose last memories are of Cinder turning her to ash. Ouch. ...

I think I can start that scene for you...

(some place specific), San Antonio
(date and time)

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!"

Everybody woke up and looked at the person screaming, who continued, "AAAAAAaaaaaaa... I'm not dead? How am I not dead?"

"Pyrrha! You're alive!"

She nodded. "But how?"

Then they get to less-important questions, such as "where are we?"

[Black Aeronaut]

Yes..... But the PTSD after that is gonna be a bitch and a half. Near-death experiences in the battlefield tend to do that.

[Labster]

That seems similar to the first draft that Tomo wrote, but she only used the first letter of the alphabet.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAaaaaaaaa.....aaaaa....aaa....a.

A?

A-a?  A.  A-a?  A.  Aaaaa????

....

Aaaa!

It took a whole rewatch of RWBY for me to get over her death.  I didn't cry, like I have been recently, but it was hard to think about her even in the RWBY Chibi bits. I realize its dramatic necessity and heavy foreshadowing, but damn did she check all my boxes.  10/10, would wear a dress to prom for her.

[Labster]

When you were talking about earning the title of Mermaids, did you mean for someone in-story to bestow that title? Either way, I got Ayanami into the water for you.

[Black Aeronaut]

By all means, someone can go ahead and bestow the title...

...Though they can be indirect and funny about it by putting up a sign that reads somewhere along the line of, "Caution: This pool inhabited by beautiful mermaids."

I'd throw in "and intelligent" into the description because Teletha, Ami, and Rei are all incredibly smart, but unfortunately Kagura kinda breaks the combo by being a member of the Baka Rangers Trio.

[Labster]

I can get Kagura out of the water, easy peasy.  Any kind of competition will do it, so how about a costume competition?  But the "mermaids" thing is your idea so I was hoping you'd write it.

In terms of things that I'm also not writing, I think I'm done on these three sections: Party Prep, Samhain, and Next Day.  I might edit things together there, but I'm basically out of ideas.  I still have some things to do in Acts II and III -- some of them in super-obvious yellow.  But for everywhere else: See the blanks in there?  I'm expecting you to write it.

In Act I, sending the invitations and setting up the decorations, I don't have a good idea what to write.  (Best I could come up with: "Is it a Buffy Halloween party?"  "Why does everyone ask that question?")  We need a strong intro here because right now the entire first act feels disjointed.  So maybe Ben, or perhaps our adjunct writers could take a stab here.  Rob, linking text between some of your sections might help the flow.

Act II primarily needs input from me, but a little help wouldn't hurt.  Describing a typical NPC house near Olmos Park might be helpful for me, if someone lives near the area, hint hint.  But I can always Google Maps research.

Act III is actually pretty sparse considering it's the main point of the story.  I don't have much to add here, as most of my ideas have been used up.  (Unless someone is thinks a Kero-chan as Pikachu versus Arf fight would be timing appropriate.)  But there are some unwritten ideas from others here that I could write, like having a costume contest.  Rob needs to finish a battle scene.  Ben needs to write more about his residents and give them some costumes, please.  Dartz, can you get us something like a playlist -- 5 songs would be enough for flavor.  A description of the stage and who's watching would be even better.

Act IV (which is just a header and part of III dramatically) needs someone who drinks alcohol to write a description of a people drinking themselves under the table.  We have an open idea for a night with a 33 Star, if anyone wants to touch that sort of drama. And I should really read it better, I haven't done a single editing pass here.

Act V is all the way ready, and has been for months.  Already made a minor change that is still a con, not a retcon.  Moving on.

Act VI is actually pretty solid I think.  But it's entirely Rob's and my writing, and heavily into mine.  If anyone else wants to show their characters doing things, add it.

We're on a deadline here, people.  Let's step up the game!  To Infinity, and Beyond!

[Black Aeronaut]

It's okay, Brent.  I'll gladly fill in the Mermaid's gag.  My character will act sneaky about it, but it would only be part of the act - much like the sneaky cartoon character who shushes the audience on the other side of the Fourth Wall.

Ami, Teletha, and Rei would probably have mild WTF written all over their faces, and then as one all go to see what he posted.  Knowing these three, Ami will blush from head to toe, Teletha splutter and giggle as she tries not to laugh too loudly, and Rei will probably raise an eyebrow while inwardly she tries to figure out how to respond to the roundabout compliment.

Rei: "... Aside from the fact that we are not actually mermaids, it is not incorrect."

Acts I and II will probably be mostly up to me, since it's supposed to be my character's brainchild for the most part.  Act I should be relatively short as it'll be the exposition, but Act II will have a little more meat on it's bones as it'll involve Ben talking to the other Managers and even some of the Residents to see who is coming or staying.  This will be where your input comes into play, Brent.

For Act III, that's definitely going to require the most input from all parties at once.  I think that a costume contest would be fun, though anything Tomo put together should be exempted.  ("Sorry Tomo."  "It's okay - I'll just take it as a sign that my costumes are just that good!")  It'll shrink the number of available participants, but that just means that the contest will be that much simpler.

I can write a bit about people drinking themselves under the table.  I've had to get more than one shipmate back onto the ship for the night after they've had a few too many drinks.

Act VI will need more input from me as my character is going to figure quite heavily in the denouement.  Perils of having such an intensely emotional climax where so many people can overhear it - particularly people that actually care about you because you've been putting 120% into caring about them and often putting their needs above your own.  It's going to be an interesting dynamic.  They can't stop him because it's literally his job, but on the other hand he can't do much to stop them, either.

I'll see what I can do, but llife is already throwing me curveballs again.  I just had my first puker (two in the same trip, actually!) while I was doing Uber this evening, so it cut my night short and I'll need a professional cleaning - they managed to get chunky bits all over the place, including the window tracks and door seals (she rolled down the window and puked into a 70mph slipstream - you can imagine how well THAT went).  FML.

[robkelk]

I can't join text together until people have written it. </hint>

As for the costume competition... SI-Rob put on a black suit and dark sunglasses as his costume. How much work did that take? But if you need a judge, he's your man.

[Rajvik]

When I said that James is going as the "Man in black" you guys do realize that I meant Yul Brenner in "The Magnificent Seven"

Sorry guys but my muse just is not cooperating on this

[robkelk]

When I said that James is going as the "Man in black" you guys do realize that I meant Yul Brenner in "The Magnificent Seven"

Sorry guys but my muse just is not cooperating on this

Oops - for some reason, I thought you meant Johnny Cash.

[Rajvik]

When I said that James is going as the "Man in black" you guys do realize that I meant Yul Brenner in "The Magnificent Seven"

Sorry guys but my muse just is not cooperating on this

Oops - for some reason, I thought you meant Johnny Cash.

you know, i honestly forgot that he was also known as "The Man in Black"

[robkelk]

I just put a temporary breakpoint into the middle of Act III, for ease of editing. (Now we don't have to edit the entirety of the biggest section to make a few small changes.) Like the safety cables on light aircraft say, Remove Before Flight.

I also put a bit of still-draft story immediately after that breakpoint. BA, I'd appreciate it if you double-checked Sosuke, Tessa, and Ben's lines.

EDIT: Oh, yes: D-18 to D-Day.

RE-EDIT: Just noticed this line in the draft:

Describe a party canopy/gazebo and its decorations here

Gazebo... and Tomo's dressed as Utena, so she has a sword... so she can do the "Dread Gazebo" joke!

Rob, later: "Tomo referenced the Eric and the Dread Gazebo story? And I missed it? Now I'm depressed."

[Labster]

You know the Dread Gazebo had crossed my mind and I forgot to follow up.  But on the other hand I was planning to introduce certain residents to D&D around Veteran's Day for plot reasons.  Tomo may or may not be aware of the story at this point (but she can always play along).  Also Tomo only has a bokken.  I'm pretty sure you need cold iron or at least +3 enchantment to harm a gazebo.

I have noticed how everyone wants to use Tomo in stories now.  I feel proud that everyone wants my girl.  At one point was worried that I was overusing her, so I went back to the Azumanga manga.  Nope, she gets a lot of panels there too.

I thought that the headers were going away but maybe chapter titles are a good idea.  We're just south of 44 kilowords right now, driving into light novel range.  I have a slight lean towards keeping "Samhain" in the larger story for now as a counterpoint to Ben's more serious story, but there are other issues on keeping it in, so we can decide just before publication.

And I have a question for the peanut gallery here because I really don't know who to ask it to: is Saber Saber now?  Were they summoned in the middle of a Grail War so she is the current Saber?  Does the title even mean anything now that she's not in a Grail War right now -- I'd assume, right?  Because right now we have maybe 3 characters out of everyone in Montreal that any of the current writers seem interested in, and Terry doesn't even get a mention in the Halloween he's theoretically present at.  Haven't even seen the other shows yet.  Anyway I'd lean that she's just plain Artoria.

(Also I like Artoria better than the other romanizations because it's a roman gens and thus fits the legend more.  There's actually a lot of archaeology that says that Tintagel was a major port in Sub-Roman Britain due to the tin trade)

[robkelk]

And I have a question for the peanut gallery here because I really don't know who to ask it to: is Saber Saber now?  Were they summoned in the middle of a Grail War so she is the current Saber?

What - "Minkao" you remember, but the post where that typo first appeared has slipped your mind?

"Oh, I'm sorry! My name is Uiharu Kazari, and I'm from Academy City."

That cleared up the mystery; this girl - Uhiharu-san - had been scooped out of her homeworld, too. "Tohsaka Rin, from Fuyuki City."

"Um..."

"Now what?"

"Is there a Grail War going on right now?"

Rin sighed. "Why is that always the first question people ask? No, we've put that on hold while we're here. Velthandi-sama insisted."

[Black Aeronaut]

FYI, I just imported what we have of the Halloween Party into Scriviner earlier this evening. Right now, I'm just busy seperating it all out into chapters and scenes so its easier for me to see where the gaps are and where things need to be filled in.

I'll try and keep an eye on the wiki page so I can incorporate new bits into the copy I have in Scriviner.

ADDENDUM:
I just had an interesting idea for HILtQWaLtGS... (god damn, even abbreviated it's a mouthful!)

During the Halloween party, Benjamin is promised by Jareth that, if Ben wishes for it, a child under his protection can be wished away to the Goblin King so they'd be safe from any and all harm... And because of Ben's intentions, he'd be able to retrieve the child without issue afterwards. It is Jareth's way of thanking him for his help with Sara. (We'll just say that Ben's advice is working quite well - Sara is still quite angry, but she has accepted Jareth's apology.)

Benjamin and the others need to draw out the Wolkenritter - and, if possible, the Book of Darkness, too. A daring plan is hatched that involves using Alicia and Fate as live bait... Only for Benjamin to call upon Jareth to take Alicia away to safety. Imagine the looks on the faces of the Wolkenritter when this gigantic barn owl swoops in from nowhere and turns into Jareth - and they are completely powerless against him because his wild magic disrupts and disperses their carefully ordered spells.

"You peons are free to attempt to retrieve her from me. But rest assured, my Labyrinth does not take kindly to those who intend to harm children. And even if you do, by some miracle, manage to make it through alive... you will still have me to contend with. So please. Do come if you dare. It will be the last foolish decision you ever make!"

So.... Whatcha guys think?

ADDENDUM THE SECOND:

Thoughts about how the Halloween Party gets incepted. Rather than go through the trouble of writing up a whole bunch of stuff that would just be empty fillers that are known to kill expositions, how about this instead: I do the story of the arrival of Mamoru, Chibi-Usa, Luna, Artemis, and Diana... and that story will end with the hook for the Halloween Party Story. Kinda like, "You know, guys, I got this great idea for surprising Usagi. Christmas is a bit far out to keep this under our hats, so Halloween will have to do..."

Having the hook be in a preceding story lets us cut back a bit on the exposition, so we can just jump straight into everyone prepping for the party. Thoughts?

[Black Aeronaut]

It's a bit brief, but I think this does a good job of conveying the hive of activity that Westwoods Apartments became in the days leading up to the party...

---

When Benjamin runs errands, he does not do things by halves.  He is a stone-cold killer when he has a list of objectives and a lot of driving to do.

Of course, with San Antonio being such a sprawling city, you had to be smart about how you run your errands.  That was why he already had an itinerary completely plotted out, with each stop allotted in the calendar app in his iPhone, addresses included, so all he had to do was hit the link to navigate to the next “appointment”.

And the day before the party, there was a great deal to accomplish.

Food to be purchased.  Supplies.  Booze.  So much booze.  Beautiful booze.  You’re gonna love this booze.  Benjamin actually had to make several stops just to get it all, loading up Scrappy’s cargo bed with multiple kegs and a great many cases.  The orders had all been placed and paid for in advance - Ben only needed to pick it all up.

He left nothing to chance.  He wrapped everything in moving pads he picked up at the nearby U-Haul to insulate them, keeping the precious booze cold even as the unrelenting Texas sun turned the cargo bed, covered by the faded-silver camper shell, into an oven.

He went back right away, storing everything in the coolers in the wet bar that had been set up in one of the 3-Bedroom units - of which there were only two, so Ben kept them in reserve for when they REALLY needed it.
Sasami, Noike, Tenchi, Kaname, and even (surprise!) Sousuke had been busy preparing treats, snacks, and entrees for the buffet line.  Benjamin remembered a fun trick from a Halloween party from years past.  Grape juice in a clean latex glove, tied off and left in the freezer.  This, along with a few pucks of dry ice, were left in the punch bowl.

Meanwhile, everyone else helped with the decorations.  Sousuke got called from the kitchen to help Mao, Kurt, and Ryoko put up the sun screens that would provide much-needed shade.  Several fans were also set up - no misters though.  This was not California.  This was Subtropical Texas.  Misters did little to abate the humid heat.  But the sun screens would be enough - cutting out the worst of the glaring sun’s heat while the fans provided convection cooling.

Even with that, Benjamin had set aside several units for activities in air conditioned environments.  One he set up as a theater that would show Halloween-appropriate films.  Labyrinth and Spirited Away early on for the younger ones.  The Lost Boys and Army of Darkness later for the older crowd.

Another unit he set aside as a sort of “Chill Room”.  The two bedrooms had several board games and party games for a more low-key and introverted kind of fun.  The living room had several comfy couches, coffee tables with interesting picture books, and low-key music playing.  The kitchen held a variety of refreshments - most of the non-alcoholic drinks were here.

Outdoor activities had been planned as well.  Boccie ball, badminton, and volley ball - with the last two sharing the same space.  There was also a jumbo-sized Jenga tower made from two-by-fours.  A stage had been set up for 33 Stars to play on.  There was also a podium set aside so someone could DJ when the band wasn’t playing.

Indeed, the residents of the Westwoods Apartments had been very busy in the last day, though some preparations had been going on for much longer.

It had taken Ben only a phone call to his mother, and she gladly imparted to him the secret Farmer Family Barbecue Sauce Recipe.  This he prepared quietly in his own kitchen en masse two weeks before the party.  And then he prepared the meat and tofu (yes, barbecued tofu is a thing!) to marinate.  Briskets, pork loins, pork ribs, chicken - wings, legs, and even whole chickens, all marinating in the bright-red sauce for a week.

He requested advice from his uncle - the man who, right after his dearly departed grandfather, had been up to his elbows in making this very same sort of barbecue for the family's eating and drinking establishment.  Several large smokers were rented out, and Ben had gone to the old Farmer family homestead for the secret weapon - fallen branches from the many pecan trees on the family plot, carefully kept dry, but not too dry.

A little known secret where the laymen default to mesquite, the pecan wood imparted a smoother, richer, and more buttery flavor that was reminiscent of the delicious nuts they provided.  Benjamin made sure he was on his preferred 4am-to-noon sleep cycle in order to be up through the night, tending to the smokers, only going to bed in the early morning once Noike came to relieve him.

Everything had a set amount of time they had to spend in the smokers.  The briskets went in first.  Being a very tough cut of meat, they required a bare minimum of eight hours until they tenderized.  Longer was better - the more time they spent in the smokers, the closer they got to that much sought-after melt-in-your-mouth tenderness.

The pulled pork and pork ribs needed less time, the fatty meat already having everything it needed to turn into a juicy and tender mass of meat.  And then the chicken - four hours being plenty of time to get to the point where the meat simply slid off the bones.  The tofu needed the least amount of time, spending only a scant two hours in the smoker, but it would be no-less delicious for that.  The Vegetarians would not be disappointed.

When Benjamin woke up at 10am, he chugged two Red Bulls and made sure that everything was good to go.  The residents were all eager - the leftover energy from putting this all together turning into a pleasant anxiousness as they anticipated the festivities.  A quick sampling of the barbecue gave him food in his stomach and a means to inspect the goods.

Everything was ready.  All they had left to do was to get into costume.

---

I'll do the bit with costumes here in the next day or so.  If you think something is missing, by all means let me know and I'll add it in.

[robkelk]

FYI, I just imported what we have of the Halloween Party into Scriviner earlier this evening.  Right now, I'm just busy seperating it all out into chapters and scenes so its easier for me to see where the gaps are and where things need to be filled in.

Was that before or after my changes last night - the ones that I wanted your comments on?

I'll try and keep an eye on the wiki page so I can incorporate new bits into the copy I have in Scriviner.

In the menu bar at the top of the page, between "View history" and "More", there's a five-pointed star. Click on it, and you'll subscribe to the page - which gives you an on-wiki notification every time it's changed.

Having the hook be in a preceding story lets us cut back a bit on the exposition, so we can just jump straight into everyone prepping for the party. Thoughts?

Considering today is D-15, I think we have no option but to do things that way. (No, not D-16. I need a day to proofread and arcweld.)

[Black Aeronaut]

FYI, I just imported what we have of the Halloween Party into Scriviner earlier this evening.  Right now, I'm just busy seperating it all out into chapters and scenes so its easier for me to see where the gaps are and where things need to be filled in.

Was that before or after my changes last night - the ones that I wanted your comments on?

*Goes to check*

After.

As for my comments, it looks good to me as is.  Kinda tempted to add something else, but it'd be detracting.  Maybe later...

[Labster]

Taking the Wolkenritter into the Labyrinth really cool to me!  But I seriously need to watch Labyrinth again.

A little known secret where the laymen default to mesquite, the pecan wood imparted a smoother, richer, and more buttery flavor that was reminiscent of the delicious nuts they provided.

Thank you for not making the whole party smell like shit.  Mesquite is terrible.

And really, I was planning on talking to my kids about Halloween earlier.  I have stories running October 14 to 19, any time in there would be good, and I could reference it in my story.  With less lead time, it will be entirely in your story.