Thread of Awesome: THIS! IS!! QUOTEFILE!!!

[Shepherd]

"Wouldn't it be more productive to ensure they succeed so that they DON'T die?" The blonde deadpanned. Although he hardly thought a youma's life was worth much more than the slime he scraped off his boots in the evening, the generals never assumed their servants were going to fail ahead of time.

Xellos was silent for a few (precious) moments before he scooted over and put an arm around Zoicite's shoulder. "You're new at this whole hero vs. villain conflict thing, aren't you?"

Zoicite frowned. "Hardly. I was there in the final assault on the Moon Palace all those millennia ago. I struck down my share of Senshi."

Xellos snorted. "That was when you were fighting against a vast, interplanetary military juggernaut. Now you're fighting against a small group of lightly armed teenagers supported by a few talking animals. You don't stand a chance."

Master of Orion (Sailor Moon/Ranma/Full Metal Panic!/Negima!).

[classicdrogn]

I haz a link! Dunno if it's the right link.

Master of Orion

[Bob Schroeck]

Heh. ECSNorway posted that quote here to the forums way back in 2007, only without attribution.

[classicdrogn]

Not a fanfic quote, but I like it anyway:
Could it get any weirder? This is quantum mechanics, so yeah.

[classicdrogn]

"When you're up to your ass in shenanigators, it's hard to remember you set out to foil the shenanigans."

Um... I already closed the tab... and then got distracted for a bit, so I don't have a reference for where this was from. Probably an SB or SV thread? I was a bit surprised it was still in my clipboard, to tell the truth.

... it may have been me, actually. I wouldn't usually put that in here myself, though.

[classicdrogn]

This one comes from (the worksafe version of) the chainsaw katana meme:

"Do you have a death wish? 'Cause I'm a death genie."

[Bob Schroeck]

Oh, I have to steal that for Doug.

[Black Aeronaut]

That meme got even better.

Spoiled for Mildly NSFW text

Also, I'm gonna steal "So intense I had to add an explosion to calm it the fuck down!" for one of my stories. 

[classicdrogn]

I'm not sure what's happening, but your image doesn't work BA.

Oh, it's on funnyjunk. That's always a hassle... I'll rehost it.

Heeyago.

[DHBirr]

This one comes from (the worksafe version of) the chainsaw katana meme:

"Do you have a death wish? 'Cause I'm a death genie."

About six years ago, in the webcomic Pibgorn, a genie spoke to an Internet troll the most cruel (and implausible) words that could ever be uttered to such a creature. When he repeated them, the troll responded...
"OH, GAWD! I WANNA DIE!"

The genie's response is on the linked image. It was THE classic words, with obvious satisfaction.

Adding insult to injury, several people shouted their thanks to the troll.

[ECSNorway]

“Are you pondering what I'm pondering, Luna?” Hermione whispered.

“I don't know, Hermione,” Luna whispered back. “I'm pondering how fun it would be to gently show a few prominent Death Eater families our disapproval of their attempt on Harry's life.”

“Gently?” Hermione asked, a smile forming on her face as she contemplated the mayhem to come.

“Regrettably, showing proper disapproval would create an unacceptable hardship for innocent people in the fallout pattern.” Luna sighed. “Shame your father wouldn't let us build a fusion reactor.”

“Nothing says 'you annoyed me' better then tactical nuclear weapons,” Hermione agreed. “Come, Luna, we have work to do.”

From the newest chapter of Rorschach Blot's "The Watch".

[Norgarth]

"Before the truth will set you free,
it'll piss you off"
Mantra by Bring me the Horizon

[classicdrogn]

"Proud adherent of Catapultism: Yeet the rich."
- Imrix on SV

[Norgarth]

I've been reading a Worm AU called Mauling Snarks on SV.
This is from a Interlude focused on Director Piggot

Emily was having a bad time of things. First the Winslow incident had occurred, with Jacob’s niece in the middle of it. Which, because it was Jacob, meant that nobody wanted to get in the way of finding out what had happened. That was the good part. The bad part was that Sophia Fucking Hess had been one of the instigators.

And who the hell gives any child an actual middle name of ‘Fucking’? No wonder the girl was so screwed up.

[ECSNorway]

"I am Lord Voldemort!"

"And I'm Uzumaki Naruto, ya know! I'm gonna kick your ass!"

"Oh? You and what army?"

That was the wrong question to ask...

From an omake of "Umino Iruka and the Will of Fire".

[Star Ranger4]

well, um yea. Cause if I am remembering correctly, Naruto IS an army of one?

[DHBirr]

On The Infinite Zenith (https://infinitemirai.wordpress.com/), the description of Girls und Panzer Der Film includes the following crossover of dialogue from The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King:

“Morning glory team. Take your armour down the left flank. Sunflower, follow the CO’s banner down the center. Dandelion, take your company right, after you pass the wall. Forth, and fear no darkness! Arise! Arise, Tankers of Ooarai! Armour shall be shaken, treads shall be splintered! A HE day… a red day… ere the sun rises! Ride now!… Ride now!… Ride! Ride to ruin and the school’s closing! Panzer vor!”

[Shepherd]

The Kryptonian cyborg had initially been somewhat dubious of the concept of invoking ancient Kryptonian gods and goddesses for power. By the time the planet Krypton had blown up into a billion radioactive pieces, modern Kryptonian society had been mostly secular and science-fetishising, not spiritual.

But mythology and religion had played a role in shaping late-era Kryptonian philosophy and morality. So the Eradicator did have comprehensive records of Kryptonian scripture in its probe body's databases. The Eradicator simply hadn't believed any of it. Then again, as an artificial intelligence housed in a space probe, it hadn't had much cause to reflect on the state of its immortal soul.

Now, though? Sivana's copy of the Shazam empowerment proved, beyond any doubt, that there was real power in the old Kryptonian faiths. The results had very quickly changed the Eradicator's mind

Jack reckoned that the pantheon now had at least one genuine worshipper, even if she'd started life as a machine intelligence.

They hadn't just built a Kryptonian, they'd constructed the very first synthetic born again Neo-Orthodox Raoist.

There was a joke in there somewhere about hot religious girls, but Jack feared it would be in bad taste. He had standards.

Low standards, but standards all the same.

But Doctor, I Am Pagliacci [DC, Joker, AU]
https://forums.spacebattles.com/threads/...au.808805/
Jack Napier, a.k.a. the Joker. After years of madness, he's finally sane. But there's something wrong. Something's not right. According to his psychiatrist, there's no Bat. Nobody in Gotham City has heard of a superhero named Batman. The Justice League doesn't have a guy who dresses like a bat.

And that's wrong. That can't be. Because if there's one thing that Jack knows, it's that there can't be a Joker without a Batman.

[Shepherd]

"Ahem. Hello, everyone!" Ruby declared to the confused students, "My name is Ruby Rose, and I just want to take this moment to let you all know that I can shoot Grimm-melting laser beams from my eyes. Thanks for listening!"

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13078237/1/...st-What-If
The Biggest What-If
Because really, what did you expect when you gave a dorky teenager laser eye beams that destroy the forces of evil.

[Black Aeronaut]

The best part?

You can't even say that it's crack, because not a single character is out of character.

Monty Oum would have approved.

[Duane Peters]

“Are you pondering what I'm pondering, Luna?” Hermione whispered.

“I don't know, Hermione,” Luna whispered back. “I'm pondering how fun it would be to gently show a few prominent Death Eater families our disapproval of their attempt on Harry's life.”

“Gently?” Hermione asked, a smile forming on her face as she contemplated the mayhem to come.

“Regrettably, showing proper disapproval would create an unacceptable hardship for innocent people in the fallout pattern.” Luna sighed. “Shame your father wouldn't let us build a fusion reactor.”

“Nothing says 'you annoyed me' better then tactical nuclear weapons,” Hermione agreed. “Come, Luna, we have work to do.”

From the newest chapter of Rorschach Blot's "The Watch".

Link, please? I find myself unable to find it on his FF.net page.

[Bob Schroeck]

He's writing and releasing it in the Caer Azkaban mailing list, which is the successor to his Yahoo Group. You can get to it (and apply for membership) at https://caerazkaban.groups.io/g/main.

[Duane Peters]

He's writing and releasing it in the Caer Azkaban mailing list, which is the successor to his Yahoo Group.  You can get to it (and apply for membership) at https://caerazkaban.groups.io/g/main.

Thank you. I can see why, since it looks like they have disabled his ff.net account today *again*.

[ECSNorway]

He's writing and releasing it in the Caer Azkaban mailing list, which is the successor to his Yahoo Group.  You can get to it (and apply for membership) at https://caerazkaban.groups.io/g/main.

Someone on the list has compiled chapters one to 42 and posted it to, of all places, github. Because why not.

https://github.com/BritoO97/Watch

[Norgarth]

From a random story idea by Hiver on SB, in which he was SI'd into a Necron Lord.
After the ancient war between the Old Ones (and their creations, the ancestors of the Eldar and Orks among others) the SI is going into stais to sleep a few million years. the countdown for the stasis concludes and then:

My vision flashed greenish white as the stasis field activated and the darkness of the chamber was replaced by a mostly mechanical man with tech tentacles, wearing a red robe with a cybernetic skull floating next to him as he bent over me.

The chamber was brightly lit by big spotlights and something out of sight skittered past on metal legs.

Fuck.

Snapping my right arm out, I stabbed my fingers through his electronic eye sockets before throwing him across my sarcophagus in the same movement as I sat up and looked around.

“Get off my lawn!”

The adeptus mechanicus all across the chamber froze and stared in my direction for a second before screaming and running, some with weapons charging in my direction.

I activated my teleportation field.