Stupid dialog, free to a good home

[DHBirr]

From Hammer's Slammers, innit? At least, the last line makes me think so.

No, it's not a crossover.  John Mattathias was my own creation; I invented him and the U.N. force he commands just to invite Miho to put her skills to work in a cause even higher than saving her school ... with a significant "Take That" to her mother, who never received such an invitation. 

I derived nicknaming him "the Hammer" from his actual name:  historically, Mattathias ben Johanan was the patriarch of a clan of Zionist terrorists Judean freedom fighters.  They became known as the Maccabees from the sobriquet of one of their first leaders, Mattathias' son Judah.  And Maccabee is commonly thought to mean "the hammer."

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Il est bon de tuer de temps en temps un roi pour décourager les autres.  (It is good to kill a king from time to time to discourage the others.)  — paraphrased from Voltaire.  Merci, M’sieur Arouet.

[ECSNorway]

From Hammer's Slammers, innit? At least, the last line makes me think so.

Doubtful. The guy in Hammer's Slammers actual name was Alois Hammer.

The only John Matthias I can find by a quick google search is a poet.

(Edit: Ninja'ed!)

[classicdrogn]

[x] be Rodney Dangerfield

"Man, I tell ya, the chemistry department at my school was so badly funded... How bad was it? They could only afford undergraduated cylinders!"

[classicdrogn]

"Oh yeah!? Well I'm gonna go build my own hidden village, with kinjutsu research! And orphans! In fact, forget the village!" - Orochimaru

[robkelk]

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

Before any of the other Sailor Senshi could reply, Chibi-Moon said, "I think so, Mercury, but can we convince Beat Takeshi to wear a tutu?"

[DHBirr]

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
"I doubt it; I'm not that much of a pervert."

[Tennie]

"Avengers, disassemble this place!"

----

"By the way, I'm into inflation."

"You get off to people blowing up like balloons?"

"No, silly, I get off to money being devalued!"

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"We should've realized it earlier, but as it turned out, the real treasure was all the enemies we made along the way!"

[DHBirr]

"We should've realized it earlier, but as it turned out, the real treasure was all the enemies we made along the way!"

"At least, once we got King Midas to touch them all!"

[Tennie]

"What's so bad about that planet, you ask? Well, to put it in Earth terms, imagine some unholy fusion of the memetic versions of Florida, Australia, and modern Detroit."

----

"You thought it was I, Dio, but it was my B.O.!"

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"NOT THE /b/! NOT THE /b/! AAAAHH!"

----

"That's what you want them to believe!"

----

"Leave it to you guys to turn a simple game of paintball into some unholy fusion of Omaha Beach and the First Day of the Somme!"

----

"...Wow. Who would've thought that mixing up the terms 'geosynchronous' and 'geosynclinal' would've produced such...messy...results?"

----

"The thing is, he's such a magnet for weirdness and general trouble that shows such as Unsolved Mysteries and I Shouldn't Be Alive have had to make entire spinoff shows devoted just to his antics!"

[classicdrogn]

"NOT THE /b/! NOT THE /b/! AAAAHH!"

Oh god it's in my eyes!

[classicdrogn]

"Hey, wanna come over tonight? I'll feed you my giant cheesy meatloaf."

"... is that some kind of euphemism?"

"Depends. Does a large amount of ground meat mixed with eggs, mushrooms, cheese, and breadcrumb stuffing before being baked for a couple hours sound good to you? I'll have mashed potato and some greens cooked up as well."

(just put a giant cheesy meatloaf in the oven )

Alternately:

"... is this some kind of sex thing?"

"Depends. Does being offered a large amount of ground meat mixed with eggs, mushrooms, cheese, and breadcrumb stuffing before being baked for a couple hours turn you on?"

[robkelk]

"What kind of name is 'Alph'?"

Fate's familiar frowned. "Don't you know any poetry? 'In Xanadu did Kubla Khan A stately pleasure-dome decree: Where Alph, the sacred river, ran Through caverns measureless to man Down to a sunless sea.'"

"Kubla Khan, by Samuel Taylor Coleridge," Fate added.

[Bob Schroeck]

... Not to mention anyone from the UK would recognize "Alf" as a perfectly normal name, like "Alf Garrett".

[hazard]

... Where would Alph know that poetry from?

I mean, she made Alph her familiar long before she got to Earth.

[itsune9tl]

... Where would Alph know that poetry from?

I mean, she made Alph her familiar long before she got to Earth

How would we know that Xanadu is on Earth? For all we know Xanadu is a "Lost World" much like El Hazard. One that can be Accessed by a malfunctions portal, or rift from Earth

[hazard]

... Where would Alph know that poetry from?

I mean, she made Alph her familiar long before she got to Earth

How would we know that Xanadu is on Earth? For all we know Xanadu is a "Lost World" much like El Hazard. One that can be Accessed by a malfunctions portal, or rift from Earth

Fate very specifically refers to an Earth based poet.

[robkelk]

And by the time that anybody is introduced to Alph and would have reason to ask that question, she and Fate had been on Earth for a while.

Consider: The dialogue makes no reference to when Fate read the poem, or whether her familiar's name comes from the poem. It merely says that they've read the poem.

You've jumped to the same conclusion that Fate and Alph want their interlocutor to reach.

[DHBirr]

"Your first error, or at least the first I detected, was the choice of spy you sent to investigate me.  When someone that beautiful tries to scrape acquaintance with me, I naturally feel suspicious."

[A bit later in the same conversation]:  "My most appealing quality is that I recognize I don't have any appealing qualities."

[And]:  "If I had good looks, charm, panache, and/or lots of money, I would be quite a bit less distrustful of gorgeous women coming on to me.  Also, it'd happen far more often."

Edit to add, unrelated to the above:  "We must execute this miscreant in the traditional way," [Y] said.  "Tie him to a python and set him on fire!"
[X] groaned and facepalmed.  Even at a moment like this, he thought despairingly, [Y] just has to make puns....

[robkelk]

"There are three kinds of people in the world: those who know how to count, and those who don't."

EDIT: Alternately:
"There are three kinds of people in the world: those who recognize the existence of off-by-one errors, and those who don't."

[Norgarth]

Similarly:
There are 10 kinds of people in the world; Those who understand binary and those who don't.

[hazard]

Likewise similarly: There are 2 kinds of people in this world. Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.

[itsune9tl]

Similarly:
There are 10 kinds of people in the world; Those who understand binary and those who don't.

I feel bad for the poor sap wondering what the other eight kinds of people are like.

[robkelk]

(looks at pantry stocked with nothing but "Whoop-Ass")

"Anybody got a can opener?"

[classicdrogn]

"I'm not addicted to reading. I can stop after one more chapter!"

- me, for the past ten hours -_-;

[robkelk]

I Went Shopping For Clothes And All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt