[IC/OOC][Story] Newsies

[Black Aeronaut]

So, I've brought it up before, but it's an idea that just won't leave me the hell alone.  So here we are now.

The basic gist here is that Benjamin has, of course, been catching some flak over his family.  Namely that he's married to a whole bunch of women.  So he makes the decision to get cleanly and clearly out in front of it.

Now, this is an idea that's been evolving in my head for some time, so there's already been some changes to what I had in mind before.

For one thing, all of his wives will be present for the interview.  And secondly, it will be more like a press conference...  except that it will be a very long with with several rounds of round-robbin.  There'll be a short break between each round with refreshments, and even a photoshoot.  The children will be present, though Vivio will only be present for the last round of questions.

Here's my tentative list of Newsies that Benjamin would invite:

Shouko Asami (Angelic Layer)
April O’Niel (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)
Aya Shimeimaru (Touhou Project)
Tin Tin (The Adventures of Tin Tin)
Lisa Vannette (Bubblegum Crisis)
Clark Kent (Superman/DC Comics)
Stephen Colbert (The Colbert Report)
Kermit The Frog (Muppets)
Vic Sage aka The Question (Justice League Unlimited/DC Comics)
Sabrina the Teenage Witch
Ford Prefect (Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy)
Lisa Lavender (RWBY)
Karen Page (Daredevil/Marvel Comics)

Any other suggestions are welcome.

Ground rules for the press conference:

1. No questions about the sex life, please.
   
2. Everyone in the press pool is to be treated like adults, and thus all valid questions will be answered.  However, we will reserve the right that some details be kept off the record for personal reasons.
   
3. Candid photography outside of the photo shoot is allowed, but with two stipulations:
   • No flash photography - there will be infants present and we will do our best to ensure ideal lighting conditions.
     
   • If someone needs to breast feed, then please ask permission before snapping photos.  We're all pretty liberal, but some of us are somewhat less so than others.
     

Now, here's where I could use some help.  In order to make this feel more genuine, I'd love it if folks could submit questions for the press pool to ask Benjamin and his family.  The only thing I'd avoid is questions regarding the legalities, except to confirm what others have been told by their legal experts.

Someone already helped me out with a few introductory questions.  Keep in mind, this is pretty rough.  The answers presented are mainly to open the door for other questions.

1. How do you maintain such a large group?
   • We have regularly scheduled family council meetings so we can coordinate and discuss important matters that have an effect on the family, either as a part or a whole.  We strongly believe in Ohana - the Hawaiian word for family.  Those who've seen Lilo and Stitch know that this means that nobody gets left behind or forgotten.  This is absolute and no exceptions are to be made, ever.
     
2. How much money do you really spend on them?
   • That information should have been in the press packets that were passed out, but I can understand if you haven't gone over the fine details already.  Suffice to say, yes, the sum really is as substantial as you think it is.  More, even, when you consider the cost of raising this many children.  Granted, a good deal of the costs are defrayed by avoiding typically traditional things such as childcare and medical fees.  This is actually one of the big advantages: there's always someone available and willing to take care of the children, and we have our own medical professionals in the family.  And then there's the old saw about everything being cheaper by the dozen...
     
3. Is it really worth the headaches?
   • We could never have gotten this far if it wasn't.  Once we had the big fight in the beginning, everyone realized that if we didn't pull together, then someone was going to be unhappy and in a very bad way.  In a ways, it was a good thing that fight happened, because once it did, everyone had gotten enough negativity worked out of their system so they could think straight.  And the consensus was that no one wanted to inflict that heartache on each other.  It wasn't easy at first, but once everyone else began to open their hearts to each other, they found that I wasn't the only common factor between them all.  Which is why they're not all just wedded to me - some of them are wedded to each other as well.
     
4. What's your secret man?
   • Honestly, it was more luck than anything else.  Though at the time, we all thought it was bad luck because of how everything had been turning out at that point.  Especially considering the events of the Emotion Restorer-kun Incident.  But once everything finally began to settle down, we all realized how amazing it was for us to even be in this situation in the first place, and how much of a good thing we could be wasting if any of us simply walked away.
     
5. Are they doing this willingly?
   • That's honestly a pretty silly question when you stop and think about it.  But I'll answer it anyhow since some folks out there may not understand without it being explained to them.  Simply put, yes, every here is doing this willingly.  And if you need any further evidence, there is the fact that Belldandy herself presided over our marriage ceremonies.  If she sensed anything at all was false or coerced, then she would never even let it get that far.  Furthermore, there's the simple fact of the matter that each of us has the ability to kill any one other with a seemingly off-hand gesture.  With that kind of balance of power present in all members of our Tribe, do you really think anyone is being coerced?
     
6. OK but what are you really doing?
   • I'm just doing what I can.  I love them all more than you can possibly imagine, and I didn't want to see anyone with a broken heart.  I know some people think better that than to be shackled in a situation like this.  But to them, let me beg the question: Is it better?  To settle for something less?  You may say that something better will come along.  But will that actually happen?  This entire universe we live in now is an example of transfictionality at work.  People you thought to never have existed are here now.  They are living, breathing beings with thoughts, emotions, desires, and needs.  And with that in mind, the reverse is true.  There is another version of me out there somewhere.  And he never got this chance.  He never even had the opportunity.  He had to settle for less, over and over and over again until there was nothing left for him.  And that right there is my big secret.  The knowledge that if I do not fight for this, then I will become him - a man with everything taken from him.  Not even the means to take revenge against a world that has left him with nothing.
     

So that's at least something to build off of.  Any other ideas/questions to be asked?

[robkelk]

Of course, you realize that if this press conference goes well, it will lead to a "copycat" press conference at Blossom whether Rob wants one or not...

My first thought for additional newsies was Taiga Oh from GnP, but she's a sports reporter. And a student, but Lisa Vanette is a student, too. (goes looking) <sarcasm> Surprise, surprise </sarcasm> -- Wikipedia has a list. (But there are some names on your list that I don't see on that list). And the New York Public Library has a list of eight Fierce Fictional Female Journalists (if you count Lois Lane who was discussed but not listed, because Mary Richards is a fictional female news producer), one of whom is already on your list.

Looking through those lists, I see Lily Wong, who I had completely forgotten about. Lily would be good for sympathetic questions about issues faced by a white man married to Asian women, considering she's a Cantonese woman married to an Englishman (and they have a daughter, so sympathetic questions about how the youngsters handle the situation would also be apropos from her).

5. Are they doing this willingly?

Followup to that question: We've all heard about The Queen in Academy City, and she's probably not the only mind controller out there; how can you be sure that you're doing this willingly?

[Black Aeronaut]

Of course, you realize that if this press conference goes well, it will lead to a "copycat" press conference at Blossom whether Rob wants one or not...

I can't imagine why! 

My first thought for additional newsies was Taiga Oh from GnP, but she's a sports reporter. And a student, but Lisa Vanette is a student, too. (goes looking) <sarcasm> Surprise, surprise </sarcasm> -- Wikipedia has a list. (But there are some names on your list that I don't see on that list). And the New York Public Library has a list of eight Fierce Fictional Female Journalists (if you count Lois Lane who was discussed but not listed, because Mary Richards is a fictional female news producer), one of whom is already on your list.

By this time in the Metacontinuity, Lisa should have long since graduated to being a fully fledged newsie.  After all, this is going to be late season 2 to early season 3.

Murphy Brown would be an interesting addition with her being a single mom.  Her interest would definitely be drawn to the children and their welfare, as well as speculation on what growing up in such an environment will do to their perceptions of society.

Tempting to have Taiga Oh in there anyhow.  If nothing else, it might be a bit of amusing misunderstanding where somehow, Reinforce Taiga's name somehow gets on the list (probably from the "Interviewer" and "Interviewee" lists being side-by-side while being written), and someone figured that R. Taiga was a typographical error and corrected it to "O. Taiga".

And then afterwards it'd be like: "Well, you're here now.  Might as well not waste it.  If nothing else, I'm pretty sure the masses on the School Ships would love to know more about this."

Also tempting to throw Lois Lane in there.  If nothing else, Clark could keep her more "bloodthirsty" tendencies in check.  And since he can tell when someone is lying, he could pass subtle signals to her for "Truth", "Lie", and "Indeterminate - Press for details".

(Aside: Given the nature of the Metacontinuity, it would probably become widely known that Clark Kent is Superman.  I'm sure it's been done before, but it would introduce some interesting changes to his life.  And having Lois around at all times would be The Daily Planet's way of keeping him "honest", because it's also widely known she doesn't take anyone's bullshit, not even Superman's.)

Oh, and...

Clark: "Clark Kent, Daily Planet."
Ben: "Benjamin Rhodes.  It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Mister Kent."
Clark: "The pleasure's all mine - ever since I've started hearing about you, I've been wanting to meet you."
Ben: "And not just to interview me, I take it."
Clark: "Business and pleasure.  So, is it really true you can emit a one-gigawatt laser pulse?"
Ben: "If I have my reinforcing armor on and an external fuel cell, I can even pump out a one-terawatt pulse.  But don't ask me to do anything else for the rest of the day!"
Lois: *Knowing Grin* "Is this going to be one of those things where I regret letting you boys go off on your own?"
Sayaka: *Drive-By Snarking* "You honestly think he's got enough testosterone to spare for machismo with us draining him every night?"
Ben: "PFFFFTTT-GAH-DAHMIT SAYAKAAAA!"  *rofl*
Clark: *Guffaws, tries to cover it up by coughing, no one is fooled*
Lois: *Vulcan Eyebrow* "Interesting dynamic you guys have."

(Meanwhile off to the side Kyoko is going, "HOOHHH-WAAAAHHH!  Awfully ballsy for you to drop a line like that in front of the reporters!"  "Heh-heh.  I guess I'm like a fine wine.  I just get better with age.")

Looking through those lists, I see Lily Wong, who I had completely forgotten about. Lily would be good for sympathetic questions about issues faced by a white man married to Asian women, considering she's a Cantonese woman married to an Englishman (and they have a daughter, so sympathetic questions about how the youngsters handle the situation would also be apropos from her).

Interesting.  She's in.

5. Are they doing this willingly?

Followup to that question: We've all heard about The Queen in Academy City, and she's probably not the only mind controller out there; how can you be sure that you're doing this willingly?

"Again: Belldandy presided over every ceremony.  And none of us are under contract with her.  If the seal of approval from the Norn of Today is not enough, then what is?  We asked her to do it precisely for this reason."

[robkelk]

Of course, you realize that if this press conference goes well, it will lead to a "copycat" press conference at Blossom whether Rob wants one or not...

I can't imagine why! 

To change things up, Blossom's interview will be in a different format: Five journalists will be invited to conduct an in-depth interview in the style of Ideas or As It Happens. Each interviewer gets 12 minutes with the entire Blossom group (and the other four interviewers listening in), and then five minutes with one of the Blossom group in smaller rooms after the hour-long interview. (Yes, I know that this means 85 pages of story in script format, assuming one page of script equals one minute on-air.) Not only will audio recording be allowed, Rob will insist on it (and make his own). No videos, because Rob doesn't know whether Akemi (being photonic) can be videoed without visual artifacts such as raster lines being introduced - still images only.

Interviewees: Rob, Ami, Mii, Hyoga, Ruiko, Akemi. Depending on the exact timing, maybe as many as three other people.

Interviewers: Shouko Asami, Lisa Vanette, Lily Wong,  Babe Bennett (lots of innuendo that Ben wouldn't put up with, but Rob and his loves will), Maico Ando (who only does in-depth interviews, so she should be good at it).

Drawing lots (using random.org's Random Sequence Generator) for the order that the interviewers get the microphone, then who interviews who one-on-one (with the only stipulation being Babe does not get to interview Rui-chan one-on-one):

1. Lily
   
2. Lisa
   
3. Maico
   
4. Shouko
   
5. Babe
   

Then

• Babe and Mii
  
• Lily and Rob
  
• Lisa and Ruiko
  
• Maico and Hyoga
  
• Shouko and Ami
  

Tempting to have Taiga Oh in there anyhow. If nothing else, it might be a bit of amusing misunderstanding where somehow, Reinforce Taiga's name somehow gets on the list (probably from the "Interviewer" and "Interviewee" lists being side-by-side while being written), and someone figured that R. Taiga was a typographical error and corrected it to "O. Taiga".

May as well romanize her family name as "O" instead of "Oh", then - make the mix-up that much more believable.