Chapter 4 is now available for your reading pleasure.

[Bob Schroeck]

I must have missed that comment. Thanks for pointing it out again. I'll address it tonight.

EDIT: I suppose I should fess up to having put this out with almost no feedback from the prereaders. I gave them some two and a half weeks -- I waited longer than I planned to specifically because one wrote me and asked me to give them a few more days, even. But only one gave me any indication that they'd read the whole chapter, two I know only read part of it, two had family issues that I knew would keep them from from even looking at it, and nobody else -- not even the prereader who normally pings me on every single typo and grammar error -- even responded. It's getting close to a month, now, and no one but the ones I cite above have communicated to me about it.

[Dartz]

All i can say is....

....I know the feeling.

We're all burnt out.

[robkelk]

I must have missed that comment.  Thanks for pointing it out again.  I'll address it tonight.

EDIT:  I suppose I should fess up to having put this out with almost no feedback from the prereaders.  I gave them some two and a half weeks -- I waited longer than I planned to specifically because one wrote me and asked me to give them a few more days, even.  But only one gave me any indication that they'd read the whole chapter, two I know only read part of it, two had family issues that I knew would keep them from from even looking at it, and nobody else -- not even the prereader who normally pings me on every single typo and grammar error -- even responded.  It's getting close to a month, now, and no one but the ones I cite above have communicated to me about it.

I'll admit I didn't do a spelling check because there is a prereader who normally pings Bob on every single typo and grammar error. So you can blame me for not catching some of those typos.

I'll do better next time.

[Bob Schroeck]

And the latest rounds of fixes have been made.

[Inquisitive Raven]

I reread the chapter and it looks to me like Setsuna and Marmoru got western name order introductions.

[Labster]

> when they'd found Ami Usagi
Needs a comma there.  Unless there's a new cast member I don't know about. (artist conception)

Concordance>  Those that were usually got the name of the planet's moon (or if it had more than one, one of the larger moons).
Well, close.  They're all named after a satellite of each planet.  For Venus and Mercury, there are are no natural satellites (moons), so NASA got to name them with their orbiters.  A friend of mine wrote some code that interpreted the mostly garbage telemetry Magellan was sending back, helping to save the spacecraft -- and he's a fan of Sailor Moon.  It must be kind of cool to have something one worked on incorporated into fictional mythology.

It seems to me that the two older girls had important almost-adult stuff to do like driving cool cars, and then some chuuni named Usagi urgently summoned them to a fight that wasn't an urgent fight after all.  And here I was afraid that they wouldn't have a reason to be annoying for half a season.

I'm not sure I actually said it, but it was a very enjoyable and fun read, and as always I'm eager for more.

[Bob Schroeck]

> when they'd found Ami Usagi
Needs a comma there.  Unless there's a new cast member I don't know about. (artist conception)

<snrk>

Concordance>  Those that were usually got the name of the planet's moon (or if it had more than one, one of the larger moons).
Well, close.  They're all named after a satellite of each planet.  For Venus and Mercury, there are are no natural satellites (moons), so NASA got to name them with their orbiters.  A friend of mine wrote some code that interpreted the mostly garbage telemetry Magellan was sending back, helping to save the spacecraft -- and he's a fan of Sailor Moon.  It must be kind of cool to have something one worked on incorporated into fictional mythology.

That is very cool. Can I add that to the Concordance?

It seems to me that the two older girls had important almost-adult stuff to do like driving cool cars, and then some chuuni named Usagi urgently summoned them to a fight that wasn't an urgent fight after all.  And here I was afraid that they wouldn't have a reason to be annoying for half a season.

Oh, they don't need a reason to be annoying. They're going to be less in-your-face about it because the Princess has a genuine Military Advisor who's training her and won't put up with crap from the rank-and-file, but they'll be picking up some of the "that's not how we did it in Silver Millennium" obnoxiousness that fanon normally hands off to Luna. (And might I say that Luna surprised me while I wrote the last couple chapters? She was supposed to be the reactionary voice opposing Doug at every turn, and suddenly turned into a quite reasonable ally to him.)

And as far as "not urgent" is concerned, don't be so sure.

I'm not sure I actually said it, but it was a very enjoyable and fun read, and as always I'm eager for more.

Thank you! I'm still deciding which current project to focus on next, but DWS-05 certainly has a lot of plot notes in place already.

[robkelk]

Though Rei  may be in for a bad time as well when she heads back to the shrine, depending on what condition her grandfather is in.  Hopefully this method of yanking the rainbow crystals out was merely painful, not lethal (or transformative)

It seems to me that the two older girls had important almost-adult stuff to do like driving cool cars, and then some chuuni named Usagi urgently summoned them to a fight that wasn't an urgent fight after all.

I do believe that these two guesses cannot be reconciled with each other.

[chibipoe]

One thing I noticed is that in chapter 4, with Venus, the spelling of mansion is manshon as she is running to answer the call. (manshon and manshons are both used, in the section where she is ruminating about the Qatar embassy.)

That aside, given how Doug remarks about how warlike/aggressive Usagi looks during the song and the bits in the prologue where he says, "There at the end, I might have been too." I wonder if forcing the song will have consequences down the line. My speculative thought is Usagi's gonna face a 'becoming worse than Beryl' moment and the seeds have been laid for that.

[robkelk]

One thing I noticed is that in chapter 4, with Venus, the spelling of mansion is manshon as she is running to answer the call. (manshon and manshons are both used, in the section where she is ruminating about the Qatar embassy.)

Quoting Wikipedia:

In modern Japan, a "manshon" (Japanese: マンション), stemming from the English word "mansion", is used to refer to a multi-unit apartment complex or condominium.

That aside, given how Doug remarks about how warlike/aggressive Usagi looks during the song and the bits in the prologue where he says, "There at the end, I might have been too." I wonder if forcing the song will have consequences down the line. My speculative thought is Usagi's gonna face a 'becoming worse than Beryl' moment and the seeds have been laid for that.

I have the advantage of being a pre-reader... Let's just say that, as mild-mannered as I am, I would be just as warlike at the point Doug's referencing.

[chibipoe]

One thing I noticed is that in chapter 4, with Venus, the spelling of mansion is manshon as she is running to answer the call. (manshon and manshons are both used, in the section where she is ruminating about the Qatar embassy.)

Quoting Wikipedia:

In modern Japan, a "manshon" (Japanese: マンション), stemming from the English word "mansion", is used to refer to a multi-unit apartment complex or condominium.

That aside, given how Doug remarks about how warlike/aggressive Usagi looks during the song and the bits in the prologue where he says, "There at the end, I might have been too." I wonder if forcing the song will have consequences down the line. My speculative thought is Usagi's gonna face a 'becoming worse than Beryl' moment and the seeds have been laid for that.

I have the advantage of being a pre-reader... Let's just say that, as mild-mannered as I am, I would be just as warlike at the point Doug's referencing.

Ah-hah! I googled manshon since I assumed it was deliberate but didn't delve too deep, thanks for enlightenment.  

And I cannot wait, but it did strike me as possibly significant. Eagerly looking forward to it either way.

[ckosacranoid]

It took a few hours today to read the latest chapter and then came back to read this thread after seeing on the first page the new chapter was out.
Holy crap batman for the fall out this is going to have the only two of the general's fault a pull at all?
Poor Saturn with killing her dad and then that really screws up the season with the witches 5 since the whole person in charge is now dead.

Fav parts where everyone asks Usagi to tell Luna that they need to talk to her...and then tells her cat and everyone says your other friend.
Luna I have to say is much better in this version and asking to help out and start training to fight is pretty cool. Cape boy though....someone is getting a talking to after this. Pluto not showing up sucked, would have been fun to have everyone met her and her bitching at Doug for changing everything.

[Norgarth]

Well, as she stated, Pluto can live with the changes (I'm guessing the new timeline looks better than the old one)

[Bob Schroeck]

There are hints about that dating all the way back to the end of DW2. (I haves a plan, does I.)

[ckosacranoid]

I have to think this is one of the longer still active fan fics out here that started in the mid-90s and still be worked on by the same author. I know there are some fics that have shorter runs with some really huge work done on them like Harry LEfets or something on SV or SV with his harry and the ships girls which is insane last I looked for how hame books he is up to and millions of words.

[Aleh]

I have to think this is one of the longer still active fan fics out here that started in the mid-90s and still be worked on by the same author. I know there are some fics that have shorter runs with some really huge work done on them like Harry LEfets or something on SV or SV with his harry and the ships girls which is insane last I looked for how hame books he is up to and millions of words.

I mean, there are larger fics out there and always have been -- Drunkard's Walk is more notable for its quality and the amount of time Doug's spent working on it than anything else.

Even Harry and the Shipgirls is... well, long, yes, but for those of us who remember things like Just Won't Die...

[Bob Schroeck]

Drunkard's Walk is more notable for its quality and the amount of time Doug's spent working on it than anything else.

Yeah, when it's done, Doug will have spent about 150 years on it.

Me, not quite so much.

<grin>

[hazard]

If only due to the limitations of the mortal form, Bob.
Doug cheats.

[Aleh]

Drunkard's Walk is more notable for its quality and the amount of time Doug's spent working on it than anything else.

Yeah, when it's done, Doug will have spent about 150 years on it.

Me, not quite so much.

<grin>

Yeah. That was a bit of a silly brainfart, wasn't it?

[Bob Schroeck]

You're not the first, and almost certainly won't be the last, to do that. So no worries as long as a little humor at your expense is okay.

[Aleh]

You're not the first, and almost certainly won't be the last, to do that.  So no worries as long as a little humor at your expense is okay.

Considering that my initial response was to wisecrack back, Quincy, we're fine.

[Bob Schroeck]

<phbbbbt>

[ckosacranoid]

I have read Just won't die and well, it kinda sucked for the power creep that just keeps getting bigger and such. Was not the biggest fan to say the least. This story though....two thumbs up for sure.

[Aleh]

I have read Just won't die and well, it kinda sucked for the power creep that just keeps getting bigger and such. Was not the biggest fan to say the least. This story though....two thumbs up for sure.

Hence me using it as an example of wordcount rather than of good writing.

[DeputyJones]

I can't believe it took me so long to find time to read it...

First, Bob, I'd just like to say, "Thank You." Between getting my car wrecked (no one got hurt), a $700+ dental job, being proclaimed diabetic (Type-2), and obnoxious insurance agents, you've managed to put some smiles back on my face and some laughs in my belly.

That being said - this was supposed to be _part_ of the previous chapter? @_@

Mrs. Schroeck, your husband is an overachiever.

MY POOR FIREFLYYYY! Hotaru has always been my favorite Senshi.

All in all, I really loved this chapter and look forward to it continuing. ^_^

I feel like we need a Greek opinion with all the meta-theology being involved. What's your opinion on what's to come, ma'am?

Eris from Billy & Mandy: "CHAOS! Mwahahahahahahahaha!"