C&C: DWII/15 (MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS, YOUR OWN FAULT!)

[Star Ranger4]

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Quote:Well, Bob managed to turn several SI cinvetntions on his ear again. I note that he wasn't quite bold enough to truly SI himself into Quincy's role, though
Oh, come on, you know I'd've gotten dismissed as "just another Carrot Glace" if I'd done that.

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Not really familiar with that FF author... or are you refering to the guy from Sorcerer Hunters? Either way, not familar enough with them."I was an Otaku before those kids came along and changed the meaning of the word."
-- HM "Howling Mad" Wilson to more than one team-mate.
Hear that thunder rolling till it seems to split the sky?
That's every ship in Grayson's Navy taking up the cry-
NO QUARTER!!!
-- "No Quarter", by Echo's Children

[Bob Schroeck]

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Meaning that Sailor Loon will be the first heroine ever to _want_ to be tied to a log at the old sawmill.

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<chuckle>

-- Bob
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There's no wrong way to eat a Rhesus.

[Bob Schroeck]

Offsides said:

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and as such is a direct analog.

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You mean "not a direct analog".

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So Doug was Quincy's SI, if you will...

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What I used to say -- and what clued in Logan or Starranger all those years ago -- was "I never denied Doug was an insert character. I just never said whose."


-- Bob
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There's no wrong way to eat a Rhesus.

[Bob Schroeck]

M Fnord said:

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It's obvious, after all, that when Quincy went fishing for a superhero, he didn't get the Doug from his campaign world, he got the one from Bob's. And it's the one, almost inconsequential difference (Quincy's Warriors apparently were like the JLA, whereas the Warriors Doug knows are more like the Green Berets.) that queers the whole plan in the end.

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While I wouldn't have put it that way, precisely, it is in fact one of the things that contributed to Quincy's downfall. To put it in terms of various comics published by DC, he was expecting Ambush Bug, but got The Comedian instead.
I did have notes for a passage where Doug was going to point out all the major differences between what Quincy expected him to be and what he really was, but it didn't work and didn't really add anything to the story.

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FORESHADOWING: Your key to quality literature!

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Give the man a cigar!

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I wonder what'll happen if/when Lisa tells Madagan. That would be a worthy scene.

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Oh, she will, eventually. I once started working that scene up in my head for the fun of it... never finished it or wrote it down, though. Probably should.

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Priss and Leon settling into domesticity,

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Well, it's not exactly your standard family unit, as evidenced by the discussion about the firing range...

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Nene and Linna joining the Open Source Antigravity movement... (Is a flying penguin the mascot? Or should I not go there?)

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I hadn't thought of it in quite that way, but yeah... and I like the mascot. Reminds me of Pen-pen in Skysaber's "Eva Revolution".

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Major props go out to Ed for his epilogue, for the callback to one of Waid's better comics and just for writing a damncool bit of story.

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Thanks from all of us involved!


-- Bob
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There's no wrong way to eat a Rhesus.

[Bob Schroeck]

ClassicDrogn said:

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but if she's going to hang around with the Knight Sabers it could be useful to not ever actually 'detransform' in the sense of powering down.

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Okay, let me clarify one thing that maybe people have forgotten since the original Sailor Loon segment lo these many years ago. Lisa doesn't actually do a Senshi powerup. The "Sailor Power Make-Up" transmutes her current clothing (and any nearby matter it needs) into well-nigh indestructable Senshi outfit. She just doesn't know how to reverse the process yet. Beyond that, Lisa's magegift is always there, no matter what she's wearing.
(I once wrote a fragment for "Girls, Girls, Girls" based on misunderstanding something Ed had added to it, in which a supervillain type attacked her while she was "detransformed". She promptly turned around and kicked his ass, saying "I always have my powers. My transformation just changes my clothes. Moron.")
The thing is, an untrained mage's subconscious will often accomplish things on its own. She will "detransform" spontaneously within a few hours, faster if her bladder gets full. But she still won't have learned how to do it consciously...


-- Bob
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There's no wrong way to eat a Rhesus.

[Bob Schroeck]

Herr Bad Moon said:

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Wow with a capital W. Perfect cap to a badass series.

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Thanks! I'm glad you (and everyone else so far!) liked it.

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Now that I think about it, the best way to take Doug permanently out would have been to pop his eardrums.

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Yeah, but if he'd done that, he'd never have the chance to give Doug his classic "villain rant".

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Up until now, I couldn't really get the feel that Doug was raised in SoCal.

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Well, he had been living in England for nearly 15 years at the time he started the Walk.

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But that's just so Left Coast its funny, besides its normal comedic value.

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If you think that's funny, I want you to imagine the Herald of Valdemar who picked up a copy of his knowledge of English, complete with all the Southern California idioms and whatnot. I was toying with the idea of having it slop over a little into her Valdemaran...

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Great drag out fight.

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Thanks to my prereaders for that -- that scene was expanded and revised at their urging several times, and each time it got harder and harder on Doug...

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The idea of Quincy waiting for a natural 20 really appeals to me.

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You know, I didn't mean it quite that literally, but yeah, that is exactly what he was doing.

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Is it me, or did Nene seem to be holding a grudge?

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Yeah, she is. She's at peace with her new awareness of world and self, but she's upset with Doug and blames him for forcing her to lose a little bit of her innocence. She's never going to be the friend she might have been based on that first meeting between Doug and the Sabers. That opportunity has been lost.

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Poor Lisa. Her business card is going to get full; Lisa Vanette: Ace Reporter, Mercenary Archivist, Archmage, and Magical Girl.

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Remember, she's not really a magical girl. It's just a clothing transformation, not a real senshi powerup.

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f it hasn't come across, I really really liked Chapter 15 I'm looking forward to future Steps. Hear that Chris? No pressure! Just kidding Again, great stuff Bob, you did hit this one out of the park.

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Thank you again, both on my behalf, and on that of my prereaders, who are responsible for 50% of the good stuff in any given chapter.


-- Bob
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There's no wrong way to eat a Rhesus.

[Bob Schroeck]

Murmur the Fallen said:

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I have absolutely nothing to say beyond that. I know that I usually find at least one thing to moan on and on about, but not this time. Perfect!

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Thanks! That's because the meat of this chapter was written and rewritten over the course of nearly six years. I knew from the start it was going to end up here, and it was only the details that really changed as time went on.

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Oh, you have to do at least the first part of DWIII, if only to see Doug's reaction to Sana's world. PLEASE!

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Oh, I'll get there. Eventually. But Doug's first reaction to Sana's world will be, "gee, a lot like home, except no metahumans." He's not going to see much weirdness at first.


-- Bob
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There's no wrong way to eat a Rhesus.

[Bob Schroeck]

Star Ranger4 said:

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Not really familiar with that FF author... or are you refering to the guy from Sorcerer Hunters?

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The author. His schtick most of the time is self-inserting into a series, then acting like a complete and utter bastard once he's there (for what are usually good reasons, but still...).
(Edit: Carrotglace's fics, including his various "I'm a SI and an utter bastard" stories, can be found here.


-- Bob
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There's no wrong way to eat a Rhesus.

[Logan Darklighter]

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Not as such. He did use it as part of a quick pseudonym right in the first chapter, and the fact that his middle initial is Q has been known for a while. But I've been "hiding" his middle name until now. Because it would have given the whole thing away. As it was, either Logan Darklighter or Starranger figured it out anyway something like three years ago on the old Hostedscripts board.

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I know that I came up with the answer on my own about that time with no outside help. I seem to recall that it happened because sometime after Bob made a subtle hint about Doug not being HIS self insert character, I was rereading the bit in the very first chapter with Doug on the pay phone as "Quincy Black". And then having a "hey... wait just one minute here..." moment. Going back out to the main page and hunting around, then finding Doug's full name referenced as only Douglas Q. Sangnoir. And NO reference to what the "Q" stood for. It just clicked. "Quincy Black" was Doug's on the spot reference to his own middle name. From there, it was obvious.
And I've been sitting on that little bit of data for over two freaking years!!!
HAH!!! ^_^
Starranger may have come up with it as well, but if so, he did it independently from me, and we never discussed it. I don't know who mentioned it to Bob first.
-Logan
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"So there I was, lying flat on my back, with my face pressed into the dirt, thinking, "Wait a minute, something's not rig..."
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[Bob Schroeck]

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And I've been sitting on that little bit of data for over two freaking years!!!

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It was, by the way, one of the things that qualified you as a prereader -- you already knew one of the secrets, so I figured we might as well let you in on all of them.

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Starranger may have come up with it as well, but if so, he did it independently from me, and we never discussed it. I don't know who mentioned it to Bob first

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No, if you were the one who came up with it, then he didn't; at the time I wrote that, I honestly couldn't remember which of the two of you it was, and I knew it was one or the other. But not both.


-- Bob
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There's no wrong way to eat a Rhesus.

[Valles]

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And: Okay, we have Iron Man, the Titanium Man, and the Porcupine's armours. So I guess there's not much call for Dr. Doom's slate grey armour full o' tricks that can somehow absorb the powers of the Silver Surfer, the Beyonder and a Watcher. With a dress.

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Nah. Imagine a cross between Moldiver and Jehuty. Then get out of the way...
Blessed be.
-n
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"V, did you do something foolish?"
"Yes, and it was glorious."

[drakensis]

What can I say - I laughed, I cried... (with laughter obviously)
Although Quincy's little origin story gave me pause for thought - what if my own longest running RPG character met me and found out I'd come up with his backstory? That would go revenge-fic very quickly. I've done such nasty things to him over the years.
D for Drakensis

You're only young once, but immaturity is forever.

[Dragonflight]

A-mazing.
Let me say it again in case anyone missed it.
A-mazing.
I particularly found it funny that (as others mentioned) although Quincy got his character, it wasn't from his gameworld. It was the leaner, meaner version of the same person.
The only quibble I have with that is that Quincy's objections at the end seemingly came out of the blue. There was never before that any hint that Quincy expected Doug to behave under JLA-style rules.
Anyway, the suggestion that in another world, Quincy might have been Doug is also interesting, since it says a lot about Doug's personality, if he ever let go and acted without conscience.
This chapter certainly ended with a bang. it made so much impression in fact, that I started doodling a few things together. Sort of a post-Doug Megatokyo fanfic. If you like, I'd be delighted to share them with you if you want.
(On my end, I'm not sure I've got the personalities properly distinct enough yet, but it's coming along. All suggestions welcome. )
www.cyberus.ca/~dragonfli...ng/db1.rtf
Dragonflight

[Dragonflight]

I haven't put a web page there, so it's finicky.
www.cyberus.ca/~dragonflight/dead_bang/
It'll be db1.rtf, if you're interested.
Thanks!

[classicdrogn]

Looks like it's just case sensitive, most likely. Operating on the assumption that you intended this for general comment having posted the link in a (relatively) public forum, I did look it over, and my only real plot poke is that surely Reika would have access to secure communications gear, and would know Sylia was a partner in Loonco, so why not just call her and ask if anyhting fishy was going on instead of immediately investigating in person?
Otherwise... If Sylia is basically setting up the Bubblegum Crossfire teams herself, and Priss is already headquartered in Osaka, it would seem like an Osaka expansion team with Priss as field leader - at least for now, if her career keeps taking off, to get the new group on their feet - would be logical, or else as some kind of roving training cadre officer, spending a couple weeks in each location under the guise of an extended publicity tour, instead of the classic 'in town two days and one night' rock tour. And as for her replacement on the regular roster... My vote is for a Mystic Knight of Megatokyo, whether it's actually Lisa or not (thoguh she makes the most sense) because you KNOW they'll be dealing with magical troublemakers - human and buma both, most likely - before too very long, and even if the only magical defense she can come up with is to look around with mage-sight and warn the others there's a spell headed their way, it's still better than nothing.
- CD
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"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows

[Dragonflight]

Well, with respect to Reika knowing about Loonco, I was thinking that after her "separation" from the Hou Bang leadership, she really isn't up to date on what the Triad does. I mean, she's family, but she's made her wishes clear. She's a rock star. Not the next leader of the organization. However, it wouldn't be hard for her to dig out the information in relatively short time. But no matter what, going to Megatokyo is something she'd have to do at some point. Plus, as a plot point, it brings characters to the same city.
As for the Crossfire arc, it makes sense that Sylia would be supplying at least some of the teams, since there was the suggestion at the end of DW15 that she had had some kind of epiphany, and experienced a non-focussed human emotion. Wonder. She allowed herself to become somewhat more human. I'm just exploring the possibility that she would allow other teams to have lesser-generation tech. Nothing that would compromise the Sabers if it was scavenged by an enemy, but enough to give these other teams a fighting chance. And after hearing about Sangnoir and the UN franchise super teams, it might make sense to her.
As for the new Saber, it may well be Lisa, or she might strike out on her own. Anyone familiar with what Sonoda *wanted* to do with the series might guess my other choice.
In any event, I haven't finished exploring Lisa's development by any stretch. She's definitely a primary character in this storyline.
BTW: The candle-lighting thing is a nod to Robert Asprin's MYTH series, if anyone's interested. Sadly, I don't have the talent for musical references that Bob does, so smart-aleck quotes aren't going to be as prevalent here. But literary references are a different matter entirely... ^o^

[Bob Schroeck]

Dragonflight, I just got done reading this, and I like it -- a lot. It's a bit darker than I would have made it, but that's not a problem. If I'm not mistaken, you're starting this right in the middle of the epilogues -- there's no mention of what someone here called the "open source antigravity" movement, which dawned somewhere between late summer and early fall of 2037, when Doug's info packets were spewed forth by the delayed mail systems; I'm curious how that will work into your story.
Anyway, after going through it, I have only a couple comments to offer (other than a bunch of stylistic stuff that's mostly individual taste anyway). First, it's "Looney Toons", not "Tunes". Second, Lisa would probably point out to Sylia that she doesn't randomly get the Senshi uniform, only when she says, "Sailor Power... um, you know." And it's more likely Mackie would refer to Doug by his last name rather than his first name, having never met him. Sylia certainly only uses "Sangnoir" or "Colonel Sangnoir"; Mackie would probably take after her usage.
Hm. And I'd expect that there would be a little more curiosity among the Sabers about just who left the info packet. (Speaking of which, as a gag you might have Sylia give Lisa a PDF copy of "Wizardry for Dummies". ) I recognized the Asprin reference, of course... have you considered tying in Sandra Bullock's candle-lighting ability from "Practical Magic", too, just for the fun of it?
I'd really love to see where you're taking this story. It looks like it really has legs, and I'm going to enjoy sitting back and watching it from the outside!
Now, just a few things about stuff you wrote:

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But no matter what, going to Megatokyo is something she'd have to do at some point. Plus, as a plot point, it brings characters to the same city.

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I see no problems with bringring Reika in. Your arguments are convincing enough for me. Plus you're absolutely right. It's always important to get your pieces on the board as soon as possible. (Says the man who introduced four new characters -- influential ones, at that -- in the very last chapter of his story.)

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As for the new Saber, it may well be Lisa, or she might strike out on her own.

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If she's taking her training seriously, she's not going to do anything like that for a while. In fact, I suspect she's going to resist doing the hero thing for as long as she can. But I happen to know that by her late twenties, she's rather comfortable with it -- and with the "Sailor Loon" uniform. How she gets there... well, I guess that's up to you now. But she's got to get there in such a way that she's comfortable enough to leave MegaTokyo and her earth when the call comes. (See this thread, and this one for an idea of where she's headed to.)
Anyway, good job so far, keep it up, I want to read more, and of course it qualifies for the DW Fanfic-Squared page, if you want to have it hosted or linked there. If you have any questions or ideas you want to bounce off me, feel free to email me!


-- Bob
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There's no wrong way to eat a Rhesus.

[Jeanne Hedge]

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Anyone familiar with what Sonoda *wanted* to do with the series...

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A bit of a nit here, but it doesn't matter what Sonoda wanted to do with BGC. He was only a character designer (one of several), and only for the early episodes. The only fellow who's thoughts and plans mattered was the creator and producer Toshimichi Suzuki.Jeanne

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Jeanne Hedge
www.jhedge.com
go.compuserve.com/Comic

Jeanne Hedge
www.jhedge.com

"Believe me, if I have to go the rest of my life without companionship, knowing myself won't be a problem."
-- Gabrielle of Potadeia

[Bob Schroeck]

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Nah. Imagine a cross between Moldiver and Jehuty. Then get out of the way...

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Just curious -- what or who is Jehuty? That's a name I don't recognize.


-- Bob
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There's no wrong way to eat a Rhesus.

[Bob Schroeck]

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Although Quincy's little origin story gave me pause for thought - what if my own longest running RPG character met me and found out I'd come up with his backstory? That would go revenge-fic very quickly. I've done such nasty things to him over the years.

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Fortunately, the relationship is closer to what Doug thinks it is than what Quincy thinks it is. There is a resonance between them, but neither one is "responsible" for the other.
By the way, on a related topic, I'm surprised that no one's made a comment yet on the line "Hey, I'm no more fictional than you, buddy!"


-- Bob
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There's no wrong way to eat a Rhesus.

[Valles]

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Just curious -- what or who is Jehuty? That's a name I don't recognize.

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Jehuty is the hero mech from Zone of the Enders.
Blessed be.
-n
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"V, did you do something foolish?"
"Yes, and it was glorious."

[Bob Schroeck]

Ah, another I haven't seen yet.


-- Bob
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There's no wrong way to eat a Rhesus.

[Dragonflight]

It *is* a little darker, but that's probably my recent influences. A friend of mine was of the opinion I didn't write combat realistically, so he foisted the entire run of "Vietnam: Ground Zero" on me. A very interesting read, and fairly graphic. Its probably had a greater effect on my writing than I realize.
The story is set about six months after DW15, in early October. So the "Open Source Antigravity Movement" is probably picking up steam. There'll be a mention of it at some point. Just a matter of where to put it.
Reika... she always interested me. She has tremendous potential to be a major character. Of course, that can be said of several characters throughout the series. Some of whom didn't make it all the way. Still, I'm considering a possible return appearance I hinted at already. It's well-established in AD Police Files #1 that Boomers, even the really normal-looking ones, retain full life-memories after even prolonged "death" time. Even mindwiping might not get rid of them. Just takes some thinking to work out...
As for becoming comfortable with the uniform, that's a nebulous, but mostly *there* concept already. What I'm doing right now (with some help from a few friends who are rabid Sailor Moon fans) is trying to decide what her personal power effects would be. It's obvious she'll settle for nothing less. But what would she choose...

[Bob Schroeck]

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The story is set about six months after DW15, in early October. So the "Open Source Antigravity Movement" is probably picking up steam. There'll be a mention of it at some point. Just a matter of where to put it.

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Fair enough.

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As for becoming comfortable with the uniform, that's a nebulous, but mostly *there* concept already. What I'm doing right now (with some help from a few friends who are rabid Sailor Moon fans) is trying to decide what her personal power effects would be. It's obvious she'll settle for nothing less. But what would she choose...

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Well, before you get too caught up in that, you should probably look at the note I just added to the end of the "It's Up" thread. If she does end up with personal power effects, they will be a choice of special effect that she adds to otherwise classic wizardry, not something she's hardwired into. I don't think Sylia would let her get trained any other way. Plus, to be absolutely honest, I need her to be a good all-purpose mage for some possible future stories.

As for her choice in power effects? Well, she did start off with a suite of telekinetic powers; I doubt she'd want to give up the Heartbreaker, seeing how effective it was...

-- Bob
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There's no wrong way to eat a Rhesus.

[Logan Darklighter]

I just finished reading this and it's GOOD!! I'm impressed! I hope to see you take this further!
Question: I thought Nene was already into her early to mid 20s by the time the story starts. You're mentioning a final growth spurt for her? Isn't that a little late? I'm not much in the know about these things though. It just struck me as a point of curiousity. Is this common in real life? -Logan
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"So there I was, lying flat on my back, with my face pressed into the dirt, thinking, "Wait a minute, something's not rig..."
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