Song of the Day, 6/16/03

[Bob Schroeck]

Hey, man, what are you really into, huh?

The elusive butterfly has just tip-toed past my door.
My buddy likes the Yankees; she says "Hey, T-Bone, what's the score?"
And I say, "Well, Reggie got 1 in 1 in 3, and 25 is 6 to 4."
Is the left-wing really pinko? Colonel Sanders, what a bore!
You ask so many questions, what answers should I choose?
Is this schizoid paranoia, or just existential blues?

The amenities of life have been chasing my soul,
And my mind is transcendental, and I'm losing all control,
And I'm sinking in the quagmire of illusions and Thoreau,
I cry out, "My name is T-Bone!" as a hound dog digs a hole.
You ask so many questions, what answers should I choose?
Is this Plato's heebie-jeebies, or just existential blues?

Sailing, sailing, what is illusion? What is tru-uth?
Sailing, sailing, over the existential blues.
God bless America, and Old Glory too!
May she always wave o'er us with the red, white, and existential blues!
Hey, ba-ba-de-ba-ba-da-ba-da-da,
Ba-de-bom-ba-de-bom--ba-ding-a-ding-ding ding-existential blues.
Hey, you can do what you want but lay off my existential blues!
My blue suede existential blues!

<spoken>
I was on a quest!
Walking down the road one day, doo-dah, doo-dah,
I was walking down the road, I was looking for the truth of life,
When I came across all these little people, little people
Little people all around me.
They looked up at me and said, "Hey, mister, are you tall?"
I said, "Yes, I'm tall, but who are you weird little whiners?"
And they looked up at me with their big, red, bloodshot eyes and said:

<sung>
We are the lollipop kids, the lollipop kids,
The lollipop kids.
We are the lollipop kids!
And we'd like to welcome you to Munchkinland!

<spoken>
I said, "Hey! Hey, weird little whiners, I am on a quest
Walking down the road one day, doo-dah, doo-dah,
I said, "Hey kids, I'm looking for the truth of life.
Where do I go, who do I see?"
They said, "Slow down, mister. In order to find the truth of life, one must see THE WIZARD!"
I said, "THE WIZARD? Well, where does this wizard, old wise one, live?"
They said, "You see the big, green, glow-in-the-dark house up on the hill?"
I said, "Yes, I see the big, green, glow-in-the-dark house up on the hill. There's a big, dark forest between me and the big, green, glow-in-the-dark house up on the hill. And a little old lady on a Hoover vacuum cleaner going 'I'll get you, my little pretty, and your little dog, Toto, too!'. I don't even have a little dog, Toto."
Such predicaments, I must forge ahead!
Walking down the road one day, doo-dah, doo-dah.
I must find the truth of life.
I said, "But you know, kids, I can handle a big, green, glow-in-the-dark house up on the hill, I can handle a darn forest, I can handle the little old lady, but that's a very strange road you're sending me down! I've seen yellow stripes in the middle of a road before, but kids, uh, never quite that wide!"

<spoken, in John Wayne voice>
All right, tighten your shorts pilgrim, and sing like the Duke.

<sung in very high falsetto>
Follow the yellow brick road (Come on)
Follow the yellow brick road (Everybody sing)
Follow, follow, follow, follow,
Follow the yellow brick road
If ever a wonderful wiz there was,
The Wizard of Oz is one because,
Because, because, because, because, because,
Because of the wonderful things he does!
La-la-la-la-la-la-la, ha-ha!
We're off to see the wizard,
The wonderful Wizard of Oz!

<spoken>
Wellllll, I got a little bit tired of
Walking down the road one day, doo-dah, doo-dah.
I got a little bit tired of walking down this old blinding yellow road,
So pulled my little tired old body off to a little rest area
And lo and behold there's a little field of little red flowers out there,
And they, heh, smelled so good. Whoa.
I was gettin' pretty tired and they smelled so good, and I
Figured, well, I'll just stretch out in this little field of
POPPIES!
POPPIES!
POPPIES!
poppies!
(Cough)
Hey, what a strange dream, man!
The little flowers, they smell awfully good, and I was pretty tired.
The old wizard's just gonna have to wait, man, because I'm just gonna
Stretch out again in the little field of
POPPIES! POPPIES! POPPIES!
OH GOD! OH GOD! OH GOD!
Dorothy! Dorothy! Dorothy!
(SNIFFFFFFF)
DOROTHY! DOROTHY! DOROTHY!
...confidence in herself, man.
Along came this old man in a green El Dorado II, screeched to a halt,
A little short man with a big red nose
Toking a bottle of Yukon Jack
Strolled up to me and said, "Hey, son."
I said, "Old man, don't bother me. POPPIES, POPPIES, POPPIES, MMMMMMMMM!"
He said, "T-Bone!"
I said, "Wait a minute, this old man knows my name, he must be THE WIZARD!"

<sung>
You must be the Wizard,
The Wizard of Oz.
Why have you come to haunt me?
Oh, Wizard of Oz.

<spoken>
I said, "Oh, Wizard, old wise one, I have been on a quest
Walking down the road one day, doo-dah, doo-dah
And I met these little people

<sung>
We are the lollipop kids, the lollipop kids, the lollipop kids,
Follow the yellow brick road
Follow, follow, follow

<spoken>
I got tired
POPPIES! POPPIES! POPPIES! POPPIES!
Hey, old man, I've been through hell!"
He said, "Hey, son, slow down, relax."
I said, "But, wizard, old wise one, I have come so far to find the truth of life!"
He says, "Hey, son, slow down, relax."
He said, "To tell you the truth, son..."
I said, "Wizard, that's what I've come to find is the truth."
He said, "No, no, no, son, you've got me all wrong. Heh heh. To tell you the truth, son...uh...how can I tell you this? Uh... I've been in this field of poppies a long time myself, and I've come to find, son, that the only truth in life is right here in this bottle."
I said, "Wizard!"
He said, "No, truly, son. In fact, I'd rather have this bottle in front of me than A FRONTAL LOBOTOMY!"
How profound, Wizard!

<sung>
Some girl with psychic power, she said, "T-Bone, what's your sign?"
I blink and answer, "Neon!" I thought I'd blow her mind.
She's reading Moby Dick by some fruitcake named Herman,
She's chomping on a knockwurst, was the duchess really German?
You ask so many questions, what answers should I choose?
Is this really Butte, Montana, or just existential blues?
Really Butte, Montana?
Is this Plato's heebie-jeebies?
Is this schizoid paranoia?
(Star Trek-like sound effects)
La-la-la-la-la-la-la, existential blu-uu-uuuuu-ues!

-- Tom "T-Bone" Stankus, Existential Blues

-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

[Rod.H]

That is one fwerid song.
--Rod.H

[Valles]

Y'know, I had never realized how -long- this was before now.
And, of course, the simple notes "spoken" and "sung" fail to note all the funky sound effects... for instance, "POPPIES!" reverbs into nothing in an echo effect... but that said, this is a very cool song.
Blessed be.
-n
(Who sand along as he was reading.)
===========

===============================================
"V, did you do something foolish?"
"Yes, and it was glorious."

[Star Ranger4]

Ah, memories of my teen years, sitting next to the Radio and listenting to the good Doctor share his extensive library of the wierd, the unusual, and the down right Sidesplitting.
This is back when he did a 4 hour show, basicly live, on sundays out of KMET, the might Met, in Los Angeles. Back when you had a top ten, not just a Funny Five... I remember hearing the first of Wierd Al's stuff on his show. The original copy of Blogna, recorded in the bathroom because that room had the best accoustics, for one."I was an Otaku before those kids came along and changed the meaning of the word."
-- HM "Howling Mad" Wilson to more than one team-mate.
Hear that thunder rolling till it seems to split the sky?
That's every ship in Grayson's Navy taking up the cry-
NO QUARTER!!!
-- "No Quarter", by Echo's Children

[Bob Schroeck]

---

That is one fwerid song.

---

Well, yes. Your point?

I see it as a song that Doug will sooner or later quote. At the very least, "Such predicaments, I must forge ahead!" is very applicable to the entire Walk.

-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

[Bob Schroeck]

---

Y'know, I had never realized how -long- this was before now.

---

Yeah, there's a lot going on in that song. 'S one of the things that makes it so much fun.

---

And, of course, the simple notes "spoken" and "sung" fail to note all the funky sound effects... for instance, "POPPIES!" reverbs into nothing in an echo effect... but that said, this is a very cool song.

---

I'd debated myself on how much footnoting I wanted to do, but in the end I decided the most detail I'd go into was the note about the John Wayne voice. I'll just say to the folks who've never heard it that they should simply go and find a copy. This is a classic piece of work.

-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

[Bob Schroeck]

---

Ah, memories of my teen years, sitting next to the Radio and listenting to the good Doctor share his extensive library of the wierd, the unusual, and the down right Sidesplitting.

---

Mmm. Yes. I was introduced to the Doctor in 1982, and I still have some of his earliest compilation albums on vinyl. Stuff like "Frosty the Dope Man" and "Making Love in a Subaru" by folks like Damaskas, who you never hear about any more.
(Oh, side note -- I just got the Sony EZAudio transfer kit in the mail yesterday. With that little toy I'm gonna be moving all those vinyl rarities to CD eventually... The 8 or 10 vinyl Demento albums I have -- and the 15 or so tapes I made from broadcasts -- are going to be among the first so transferred.)
Sadly, I haven't been able to listen to any Demento here in NJ since around 1990 -- he's simply not broadcast anywhere that I can pick up. I know about the archive sites on the Net, but I haven't actually found one with a reliable connection and a decent selection.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

[jonathanlennox]

I'm just glad you didn't decide to post this one forum down. That would be mind-bending.

[Star Ranger4]

Muahahahaha!!!!

Thanks for bringing up the Idea.....
"I was an Otaku before those kids came along and changed the meaning of the word."
-- HM "Howling Mad" Wilson to more than one team-mate.
Hear that thunder rolling till it seems to split the sky?
That's every ship in Grayson's Navy taking up the cry-
NO QUARTER!!!
-- "No Quarter", by Echo's Children

[Feinan]

I'm posting this for Bob, but hopefully others will find this useful as well.
You'll find this a good site. It's got the playlists for the Doctor's shows, and also has a huge file of stations that carry Doctor Demento. There is also a list of stations that actually broadcast the Doctor on the net, so that might solve your problem.
The basic site:
php.indiana.edu/~jbmorris/
The stations list:
php.indiana.edu/~jbmorris...tions.html
And finally - a broadcasting station I know is up, and that seems to have a fairly good connection. I listen to it on Sunday evenings, and haven't had a problem with it.
The Doctor is on at 10 PM Eastern.
www.zoneradio.com/wkit/
I hope this helps your Doctor Demento cravings...stay demented!
Feinan

[Valles]

...There are -three- stations in West Virginia?!
And damn it, home's not near any of them.
*sigh*
Blessed be.
-n
===========

===============================================
"V, did you do something foolish?"
"Yes, and it was glorious."

[Bob Schroeck]

---

I'm just glad you didn't decide to post this one forum down. That would be mind-bending.

---

You know, I'm going to have to shoot both you and StarRanger now.

-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

[Bob Schroeck]

---

I'm posting this for Bob, but hopefully others will find this useful as well.

---

Feinan, thanks much! I'll check out these links tonight and see if I can't get back in the habit of listening again.

-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

[Ed Becerra]

Huh.. reminds me of a little something I got via P2P before RIAA began its "Let's sue the entire NATION!" kick..
An otherwise unreleased rock song by Elvira, MotD. Very suggestive lyrics. I'll have to send a copy to Bob, see what he thinks, maybe Doug can use it.
Ed.

[Bob Schroeck]

Sure, go right ahead!
(I seem to recall that you might have told me about this song at one time or another already... )

-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

[Guest]

I heard this song on a Dr. Demento compilation album YEARS ago and when we moved and lost the cd, It had been several years, so i forgot the song's name and lyrics. i barely remembered that it had something to do with the wizard of oz and i looked and looked for 4 years and i have finally found it! YAY!

[Aleh]

Anyone know where I can get compilation CDs or such of Dr. Demento's work, especially the older classics? I haven't had much luck looking for it on my own...-------------------
The three vaguely canine humanoid figures stood in Mason's office, their almost grotesque,
yet somehow cute, faces beaming.
"I'm Yakko," the tallest introduced.
"I'm Wakko," the second continued with a burp.
"And I'm cute," the third, who Mason suddenly noticed was wearing a skirt, finished, "but you can call me Dot."
Mason gestured to his bodyguard.
"Hello, cybernurse!" the first two Warners suddenly called out before glomping the startled
33-c.

[Bob Schroeck]

---

Anyone know where I can get compilation CDs or such of Dr. Demento's work, especially the older classics?

---

Comedy section of any good-sized music store. I was just in the local Borders Books the other night, drifted over to their comedy section, and found a goodly-sized section of Dr. D.
If that fails, you can always try CD-Now or Amazon.com.

-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

[Aleh]

I'll try the latter -- I haven't had much luck with the former, and considering that I've searched the relevant sections of (to date) three Spec's, two Virgin Megastores, and uncounted other locations, I suspect that I'll have more luck.-------------------
The three vaguely canine humanoid figures stood in Mason's office, their almost grotesque,
yet somehow cute, faces beaming.
"I'm Yakko," the tallest introduced.
"I'm Wakko," the second continued with a burp.
"And I'm cute," the third, who Mason suddenly noticed was wearing a skirt, finished, "but you can call me Dot."
Mason gestured to his bodyguard.
"Hello, cybernurse!" the first two Warners suddenly called out before glomping the startled
33-c.