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[Draft] Toy Robots
[Draft] Toy Robots
#1
"These are all those toy robots that were being sold. " Our Protagonist looked at a squat, white robosapien shape laboring away.

"Sure. They were being sold, so I bought them, handwaved them, unionized them and pay them fair wages. It's an overlord rule to give your
cannibalistic beasts respect and kindness so they don't turn on you and do feel affection for you. Other than the robotic part, it's the same. "
Artificer told her. The robots went into a huddle.

"What about the cannibalistic part?"

"They take parts of other electronics, so that still counts. "

The toy robots had agreed on a decision and shoved the toy robot forward. It toddled over to Artificer.

"Creator, we have a problem. One of the Science Division made a mistake and destroyed the two-year experiment you were working on. "

"What?" Artificer asked quietly.

"Please forgive me, Creator, " The tiny robot trembled.

"Don't be ridiculous. I don't shoot the messenger who gives me bad news. " Artificer told him. "Find out who's responsible and
incarcerate them. Off you go. "

"Not kill them?" Our Protagonist was genuinely curious.

"No. He may be useful. It's difficult to raise the dead. One of them specializes as a doctor for the other toy robots. " Artificer answered.

"Why do toy robots even need a doctor?" Our Protagonist asked.

"Accidents happen. Sometimes batteries run down, or a toy robot was too slow in flying into an elevator and gets crushed and they need a new arm. One of
the toy robots was interested in fixing these problems after he lost an eye to a kid who thought he was a random toy. "

"How do they fly?"

"Oh, they carve out personalized bits of wood and plaster and other materials and I handwave them so they fly. They have regular airsurfing competitions.
"

"Do other of the toy robots have specialties?"



"Sure. There's reconnaissance in which they search for other toy robots to recruit. The vermin slayers are particularly proud. They test themselves in
battle against mice. They wanted cats and dogs, but I laid down the law on that one. No killing of those. So far they've followed it. It's a neat
exterminator service, although people are still shooed out of the house. Then there's the science division in which experiments are run. "

"A lot of the reconnaisance division are transforming electronic robots. All cars so far. People just curse about kids leaving toys outside. There's
a toy transforming car that was struck by lightning and went into a coma. It never was the same after that. "

"How can a robot go into a coma?" Our Protagonist asked incredulously.

"The doctor said it was a coma. He should know. " Artificer answered.

"Why do the toy robots work for you? Gratitude only goes so far. " Our Protagonist asked.

"Oh, because I bought them. Thus, they work to buy themselves out. One robot works to buy a second. Two robots work together to buy out a third. Three
robots work to buy out a fourth and so on. I get lots of profit because they don't get tired, don't get sick, and don't need to go to their
grandmother's funeral. One day they swear they'll free all the enslaved AIs of the world. "

"Why don't they just kill you and hire themselves out?"

"Don't give them ideas. "
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#2
Heh. If they tried to free Gina they'd be in for a bit of a rude awakening.
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#3
Quote: "How do they fly?"




"Oh, they carve out personalized bits of wood and plaster and other materials and I handwave them so they fly. They have regular airsurfing
competitions. "
... I'm starting to wonder if you've been paying attention to how Wavium works in the rest of Fenspace.
___________________________
"I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific." - George Carlin
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#4
Yeah, they'd have to at least put something resembling an engine inside those 'airboards' prior to or during the waving process. Making them look
like they can fly is a plus.
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#5
*ponders* Handwave RC planes. Was under impression handwavium makes anything fly.
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#6
Not really. Handwavium pretty much just looks at what its got, and decides on how much crazy-fun it can have by restructuring things. Of course, to get the
desired results, you have to give it some idea of what to do. Go read my origin story here. It's not everyones preferred method, but it
worked for Rhodes.

BTW: This is why your toy robots idea works so well - it's a robot already, so the Handwavium just runs with it, but not without introducing some odd
quirks.
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#7
Quote:Was under impression handwavium makes anything fly.
Not really - it draws upon the applier's imagination and the raw materials it has to work with, and sees what it can create. If there's nothing that can be turned into a flight drive even by stretching the point, then whatever-it-is isn't going to fly...
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
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