Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
A reluctant Fen, or how I came to Fenspace (Fiction test)
A reluctant Fen, or how I came to Fenspace (Fiction test)
#1
I started throwing this together, and thought I'd toss it out there to see if it's worth developing, or if I should restart from a different place, or do something else entirely.

I'm Saoirse Kelly.  If you follow boxing on Earth, you more than likely heard of me at some point—I was known as the female light heavyweight champ to a lot more people than knew me—back then—as a college student, physics major, witch, and more. 

 

I never wanted to become a Fen.  Sure, I like my Science Fiction, my Fantasy—but it's never been the be-all and end-all of my life.  But—Handwaviuim fascinated me from the time I was a child.  We didn't CALL it Handwavium, or Unobtanium; it was simply magic.  See, I'm a Wiccan, as were my grandparents before me—long before Wicca had a name.  (My parents weren't, but that's another story—one I probably won't tell.)  I wasn't even supposed to know about it; it was passed down from one generation to another, and a 16 year old certainly shouldn't have known about it.  But with my parents out of the sequence, Grandma decided to tell me the big secret when I was only 14.

 

Magical power back then didn't breed well, but had to be carefully brewed with rituals that are still secret.  But that's not important—what is important is how I went from being a pretty ordinary college student—and darned good boxer with Olympic aspirations—to where I am now.

 

Back in 2007, to hear some say it, I'd been leaving a trail of dazed and unconscious opponents through the major amateur boxing tournaments, including the golden gloves.  I was the national champion in my weight class—but amateur boxing seldom results in knockouts.  (Though I DID leave more than a few face down on the canvas, despite the big gloves and headgear—without false modesty, I am good at what I do, and one of the hardest punchers in the woman's game.)

 

Sadly, Olympic Glory was not to be mine.  By 2007, the IOC had ruled that women's boxing was not to be an Olympic sport that year; once again, discrimination was rearing its ugly head.  Still, there were options.  Starting college was definitely part of the plan—and perhaps turning pro was in the cards.  So—to college I went, at the ripe old age of 16.

 

Times were changing in the good ol' USA.  The freedoms we took for granted were fading fast.  Surveillance cameras everywhere, people using plastic for every purchase,  the records being sold to advertisers—and used by the Feds to track “suspicious” activities.  Scientific inquiry was stifled, too; Handwavium studies in universities were prohibited, at least for undergraduates.  Not only that, a friend of mine sniffed out that they were tracking any internet activity related to the stuff.  That was bad enough—but they had planted some tracking software on my computer.  Physics is my expertise, not computer funny business.  All in all, that made my first choice of school: MIT—out of the question.  I thought next of the University of Toronto—but it was a member of the Association of American Universities.  Ultimately, I chose the University of Ottawa; they have some active research in Handwavium, and the traditional Canadian open-mindedness.

 

My undergrad years were interesting—but nothing that I plan to write about now.  I had a generous scholarship, Grandma had a decent amount of money which she sent my way—and I did take up professional boxing.  There's good training available both in Ottawa, and in Florida, and I was an up and coming boxer.

 

In this time of Handwavium exploding on the scene, and off the planet, people were studying hard science or Handwavium—not both.  That seemed to me to be a bad plan; both are part of reality.  So, I took my undergrad studies—and after I graduated in 2011, I almost didn't make it back to school.  I'd been visiting my grandparents in Florida, and apparently, someone decided that I was a menace to the nice, controlled society that keeps exploration in the hands of the elite.  Grandma, however, suspected something, and urged me to cut my break short.  I crossed the border just before the order to hold me up.

 

There was no arrest order, nothing official; they didn't even invalidate my passport.  I'd committed no official crimes—but the idea of Handwavium terrified them.  Even more, the idea of someone skilled at both hard tech and Handwavium running around loose was even scarier.  Sure, I was just starting as a grad student in a few months, but I'd already been noticed in the scientific community—and from there, the United States government.

 

But—at the same time, they were watching their step, being careful not to appear TOO heavy handed.  (Or perhaps it was Grandma's connections with the ACLU that kept them from going too far…)

 

 

This is just the beginnings of a hastily thrown together idea, but before putting more into it, I thought I'd see if it was worth pursuing—or if I should take another route.
Reply
 
#2
Hm.

Boxing champ is good, Wiccan is fine, 16 y.o. college student is a bit iffy - in another world I might say it's a bit too sueish, but with various superpowered author avatars floating around flirting with animu dream girls I think the hypocrisy might cause me to implode.

Knowing about handwavium in the pre-'06 era... that's really really iffy. I'm willing to be convinced, but you're going to have to convince me. Get out yer top hat and tap shoes, my fine ship, and get ready to dance.
Mr. Fnord interdimensional man of mystery

FenWiki - Your One-Stop Shop for Fenspace Information

"I. Drink. Your. NERDRAGE!"
Reply
 
#3
Hang on, Mal - you might be misreading that bit.

Did Ms. Kelly know about handwavium before '06, or did she know about magic before '06 and was calling handwavium "magic"? And was the magic she knew about real, or just something her grandmother made up / deluded herself about / was convinced existed by her mother / etc.?

There are other Wiccans in Fenspace, after all; this shouldn't a point that would cause an auto-disqualification (the way it does in some other space-opera settings). On the flip side, we've always left it nebulous whether those other Wiccans knew any real magic or were just using their rituals to guide the 'wave...

But, yeah, if Ms. Kelly knew about the 'wave before the Overfan did, then an explanation is in order.

(Besides ... University of Ottawa! We've got two Ottawa-based writers in the Collective, and it's taken this long for the U of O to be mentioned! And not by one of us...)

(As for sueishness, somebody in Fenspace really should start the Loyal Order of Mary Sues. You've already mentioned there's enough of us... er, them... in the setting.)
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
Reply
 
#4
In Re: Order of Mary Sues:

They keep inviting Haruhi, but she keeps turning them down.

Re: Topic at Hand:

Nice Start, Let's see where it goes.
''We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat
them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.''

-- James Nicoll
Reply
Changes are definately possible
#5
I am more than willing to change things to make them fit.  I'll address everything mentioned (quickly) and give more in depth responces later.
Regarding "Magic" or Handwavium-top hat and dancing to come later, but a preview of the act:
I suspect that there's always been something real about magic.  Be it Handwavium, or Wiccans and "wizards" have somethng related to handwavium inside, I don't know.  But, "magic talismans" and the like are created by the "magic rituals."  They may easily be only related, and use similar techniques--or perhaps the Wiccan rituals create a more primitive form--as in, "Magic essence" that, when created/invoked/whatever, does one thing only--want something else, use a different, also very complex ritual/spell.  Thus, something who can force a "magical" effect will be able to work effectively with the much more versatile Handwavium.  This is sort of rambling, due to the late hour, but there must be some reason that Wiccans, alone among the people mentioned, have an easier time with Handwavium.  A previous connection with something related is implied.
I can up her age easily enough with no real effects on anything I plan to write.  I do know (reality, not fiction of any time) a college student who started at 15 (I think--might have been 14) and she's a very good boxer, also.)
As for University of Ottawa, the American reaction to Handwavium rules it out, so I did a quick search for good research universities, and found Toronto--and thought that she'd see it as overly likely to have the USA sticking its nose in too deep.  Ottawa was the next choice.
Originally, I'd planned on having her live in New Hampshire, but decided on Florida instead, simply because some of the best female boxers are based there.
I can also easily move her forward 4 years, to 2010 or 2011.  That's why I specificaly listed her as a light heavyweight--a big woman.  There will be no Olympic boxing in that weight class at the 2012 Olympics.
I can rewrite and revise.
(More coherent reply in the next day or two--it's late at night, the caffien's worn off, it's HOT--but I wanted to say something--and offer thanks for the comments.)
Reply
 
#6
I wasn't complaining about http://www.uottawa.ca/welcome.html]U of O - quite the opposite, in fact. (If you want photos of the campus for any reason, I can get some for you...)
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
Reply
 
#7
I think this is just fine so far. Just because Saoirse thinks there's an obvious connection between her family's magical tradition and handwavium doesn't make it so -- we have plenty of people in Fenspace who are working with their own personal interpretations of what the wave is and why, and conflicts and contradictions between those interpretations doesn't make their stuff stop working. We also have Wiccans in space -- the Jason, some of the Corners' crew -- who seem to have applied their rituals to handwavium with success. But nothing about that says anything definitive about the nature of handwavium.

It's a bad habit to get into, to assume every narrator definitively knows what they're talking about when they express a confident opinion or belief.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
Reply
Saoirse's opinion--and thaks for the feedback
#8
Saoirse sees an obvious connection because her Wiccan aproach works, and works well.  Connection or not, that's why she sees one.  I'm thinking that I should make her 17 when she starts college--that's not too uncommon, but is a sign of someone who's rather bright--and to be doing cutting edge work in physics, specializing in Handwavium/Hardtech interaction, as she will be, she HAS to be above average. 
As for pics of the University of Ottawa, I don't expect to need them--but thanks for the offer.
Reply
 
#9
The thing that gets me is the offhand mention of Spyware on the character's PC. If it was actually from USGov and the chars could prove it, it opens up a whole can'o'worms. Likewise if it could be traced to any organisation, official or otherwise. Look at the mess the UK Phone Hacking story is making.

It could be spun into a reason to leave, if the can'o'worms was enough to have certain interests embarrassed. But I'd be careful using that.

Yes the 'Danelaw was heavy on the knee-jerk laws, but remember the Genre Directive.
Reply
Spyware
#10
The spyware will remain unprovable as to source--and  the character is confident that it's the government on its anti-Handwavium run--but that doesn't mean it really is.  Everything written as part of the story is The Truth According To Saoirse--not the truth as the author knows it.
And Earth is NOT a dystopia--but that doesn't mean thete aren't bad guys down there. She IS predisposed to see the US Government as a likely source of problems--more on that will come later.  (And if you've got an ancestor that, according to family tradition, was hanged at Salem, and another that (according to Family Tradition) died at the GPO in 1916, and another that was blacklisted by McCarthy, governments aren't going to be high on your list of trusted organizations.  How much of that is true--who knows--but Grandma made sure Saoirse knew all the traditions her parents didn't want her to know.
Reply
 
#11
I'm interested in seeing more before passing judgement. So far it seems okay to me. Don't worry too much about Mary-Sueism... you're writing the main character in your own story, they're entitled to be a bit special. Everyone has to get that one thing they're the best at, after all... otherwise why would anyone tell a story about them?

Also, 17 wouldn't be an unusual age at all to enter college... it'd be considered about normal here in fact. (Was the age I went in, as a matter of fact).
________________________________
--m(^0^)m-- Wot, no sig?
Reply
 
#12
Quote:Dartz wrote:

Everyone has to get that one thing they're the best at, after all... otherwise why would anyone tell a story about them?   
But they don't have to be the best at anything to have a story about them.  All they have to be is in the right place at the right time.  Bruce McClaine isn't the best cop in the world, he's just a pistols/regen scrapper in the right place at the right time.  Not everyone has to be Natasha Kerensky, or Kai Allard-Liao, or Superman, or Batman, or The Doctor, or Bender.  It really helps if they're at least interesting characters, but not every main character has to be the best there is at something.
Reply
 
#13
A bad choice of words I suppose.... what is it in the guidelines? Not grabbing all the cool for yourself. But in the inverse, everyone should have some patch that at least justifies their existance... something that sets them apart and makes them interesting to read about. Something that they are or do, or has been done to them.
________________________________
--m(^0^)m-- Wot, no sig?
Reply
 
#14
Dartz Wrote:A bad choice of words I suppose.... what is it in the guidelines? Not grabbing all the cool for yourself. But in the inverse, everyone should have some patch that at least justifies their existance... something that sets them apart and makes them interesting to read about. Something that they are or do, or has been done to them.
Okay, yeah.  That I can agree with.  Your character needs to be unique (or not, if you're running a clone and the point of the story is them trying to distinguish themselves from the others) and interesting.
  
Reply
 
#15
A thought.

Mary-Sue: [n] Derogatory. A BNF who is, in the opinion of the accuser, far too popular for no good reason, and who is bloody annoying because of it. One who is far too 'up themselves'. Especially one who actively courts an overblown image, lauds their own accomplishments at every turn, or generally acts in accordance with the fanfiction stereotype by insisting that any and all events they attend be about them. (JR Fen is such a Mary Sue. Can also be used as a warning to stop being an attention hog, or asshole, or stop angsting on about something unimportant. (Stop being such a Mary Sue!).

Fandom specific: Sailor Earth (Senshi), Fifth Saber (Genaros), Wesley (Trekkies. Also origin of the original term). Haruhi.

Munchkin: [n] Occasional synonym for Mary Sue, though implies a shiftier sort of character who will use cheating and subterfuge to get what they want, an amoral who plays to win at all costs. Mostly common among Roleplayers. Can have less negative connotations when referring to someone who is spectacularly good at one thing, to the detriment of all else. (JR Fen is such a Martial Arts munchkin). Also see OGJ: Munchkin raid
________________________________
--m(^0^)m-- Wot, no sig?
Reply
 
#16
I'm going to suggest that we shouldn't enshrine meta jargon as IC slang.
Mr. Fnord interdimensional man of mystery

FenWiki - Your One-Stop Shop for Fenspace Information

"I. Drink. Your. NERDRAGE!"
Reply


Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 5 Guest(s)