Jimmy Buffet Songs

[Moonsword]

I've got two serious suggestions and a few sillier ones. I'm not really sure whether these have been suggested before or not.
Up first:
VOLCANO
Jimmy Buffett, Keith Sykes & Harry Dailey
Now, I don't know, I don't know where I'm a gonna go
when the volcano blow.
Let me say it now,
I don't know, I don't know where I'm a gonna go
when the volcano blow.
Ground, she movin' under me.
Tidal waves out on the sea.
Sulphur smoke up in the sky.
Pretty soon we learn to fly
Chorus
Let me hear you, now
I don't know, I don't know where I'm a gonna go
when the volcano blow.
Let me hear you now.
I don't know, I don't know where I'm a gonna go
when the volcano blow.
My girl quickly say to me,
"Mon you better watch your feet."
Lava come down soft and hot.
"You better lava me now or lava me not.
Chorus
No time to count what I'm worth,
cause I just left the planet Earth.
Where I go I hope there's rhum.
Not to worry mon soon come.
Chorus
But I don't want to land in New York City,
I don't want to land in Mexico.
I don't want to land on no Three Mile Island;
I don't want to see my skin a-glow.
Don't want to land in Comanche Sky Park,
or in Nashville, Tennessee.
I don't want to land in no San Juan airport or
the Yukon Territory.
Don't want to land no San Diego.
Don't want to land in no Buzzards Bay.
I don't want to land on no Ayahtolla.
I got nothin' more to say.
The obvious idea is to have it simply summon a (small) volcanic eruption. Granted, it could also have a backlash along the lines of uncontrollable... which would be unpleasant. It could also be a particularly... odd... transport/teleport song, moving Doug anywhere listed in the song or to any volcano he can name.
A possible gate song:
TAKE ANOTHER ROAD
Jimmy Buffett, Jay Oliver & Roger Guth
Seen the false horizon fade away like bisons
Headed for the jungle, the cowboy can't endure
Never look back, that's what he swore
I'll take my pony to the shore
somewhere, somewhere
(Chorus)
Take another road to a hiding place
Disappear without a trace
Take another road in another time
On another road in another time
Like a novel from the five and dime
Take another road in another time
Follow the equator, like that old articulator
Sail upon the ocean, just like Mr. Twain
Never look back, this is my plan
Run my pony in the sand
Somewhere, somewhere
(Chorus)
Take another road, etc...
....another time.
Leave my cares behind
Take my own sweet time
Ocean's on my mind
(Chorus)
Take another road, etc......
......another time.
Some odder ideas:
Cheeseburger in Paradise - Summons a delicous cheeseburger with a side order of fries and a beer. Might also appeal to Doug's sense of humor.
Off to See the Lizard - Search for the song title, since I don't have an individual song link. I've got several ideas for this one. Maybe it summons a red iguana, turns lava into gold, or sends Doug to the location of the nearest lizard... or the nearest Godzilla poster.

[classicdrogn]

I don't know what Doug thinks of techno, but 2 Unlimited's No Limit came up on my car MP3CD yesterday - I beleive it's from one or another version of DDR, and so is mercifully short as techno goes, at only 1:32, but suggests a useful effect to me at least, since it happened just as I came up a highway onramp.
www.lyricsdepot.com/2-unl...limit.html
For the first five seconds, ending at the first "YEAH!" the targeted device powers up - in the case of a vehicle, Our Lady of the Blessed Accelleration kicks you in the ass as it gains an order of magnitude increase in speed, maneuverability, power output, etc. Just the thing when you have to catch a sppedster, or all you have left is a laser pistol and a getaway armored jet-zeppelin that has to die, now. The device is surrounded by bisible energy discharges until the song winds up and stops... at which point it violently explodes, hard enough that Doug had better have already gotten a good way away or behind something very solid. The power comes from him, of course, and the explosion is from the materials in whatever he's abusing flashing into superheated plasma as the constraints fade and the ramaining energy cooks off more than any inherent combustibility - thoguh of course something that could have gone boom on its own makes a bigger boom when a few megawatts of leftover metapower infuse it.
- CD
What, you think Samuel L. Jackson isn't going to survive the zombie apocalypse?

SERVO: Loook *deeeeply* into my eyes... Tell me, what do you see?
CROW: (hypnotized) A twisted man who wants to inflict his pain upon others.
" It's crazy to try to spell out all the mega-nooks and hyper-crannies of a Borg contrivance." - Doug Drexler
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows

[Ebony]

It's Five O'Clock Somewhere
The sun is hot and that old clock is movin' slow,
An' so am I.
Work day passes like molasses in wintertime,
But it's July.
I'm gettin' paid by the hour, an' older by the minute.
My boss just pushed me over the limit.
I'd like to call him somethin',
I think I'll just call it a day.
Pour me somethin' tall an' strong,
Make it a "Hurricane" before I go insane.
It's only half-past twelve but I don't care.
It's five o'clock somewhere.
Oh, this lunch break is gonna take all afternoon,
An' half the night.
Tomorrow mornin', I know there'll be hell to pay,
Hey, but that's all right.
I ain't had a day off now in over a year.
Our Jamaican vacation's gonna start right here.
Hit the 'phones for me,
You can tell 'em I just sailed away.
An' pour me somethin' tall an' strong,
Make it a "Hurricane" before I go insane.
It's only half-past twelve but I don't care.
It's five o'clock somewhere.
I could pay off my tab, pour myself in a cab,
An' be back to work before two.
At a moment like this, I can't help but wonder,
What would Jimmy Buffet do?
Funny you should ask that because I'd say:
Pour me somethin' tall an' strong,
Make it a "Hurricane" before I go insane.
It's only half-past twelve but I don't care.
Pour me somethin' tall an' strong,
Make it a "Hurricane" before I go insane.
It's only half-past twelve but I don't care.
He don't care.
I don't care.
It's five o'clock somewhere.
What time zone am on? What country am I in?
It doesn't matter, it's five o'clock somewhere.
It's always on five in Margaritaville, come to think of it.
Yeah, I heard that.
You been there haven't you.
Yessir.
I seen your boat there.
I've been to Margaritaville a few times.
All right, that's good.
Stumbled all the way back.
OK. Just wanna make sure you can keep it between the navigational beacons.
Between the buoys, I tell you.
All right. Well, it's five o'clock. Let's go somewhere.
I'm ready, crank it up.
Let's get out of here.
I'm gone.
Let's get out of here.
Effect: Doug is immediately transported to the time zone where it is 5 o'clock. He appears in the bar/club/drinking establishment that is closest to his latitudinal position (i.e., if he's at the 34th parallel, he stays as close to the 34th parallel as possible to still end up in a bar). Whether he actually orders a hurricane or not is of course up to Colonel Sangnoir.
Ebony the Black Dragon
Senior Editor, Living Room Games
http://www.lrgames.com
Ebony the Black Dragon
http://ebony14.livejournal.com

"Good night, and may the Good Lord take a Viking to you."

[TheTwisted1]

Math Suks

If necessity was the mother of invention
then I'd like to kill the guy who invented this
The numbers come together in some kind of third dimension
A regular algebraic bliss
Let's starts with something simple
like 1 and 1 ain't 3
any 2 plus 2 will never get you 5
there's fractions in my subtraction
and x don't equal y
but my homework is bound to multiply
Math suks (math suks), Math suks (math suks)
I'd like to burn this text book
I hate that stuff so much
Math suks (math suks), Math suks (math suks)
Sometimes I think that I don't know that much
but math suks
I got so bored with my homework
I turned on the TV
the beauty pageant winners were all smiling through their teeth
and they asked the new Miss America
Hey babe can you add up all those bucks
she looked puzzled then just said ";Math Suks";
Math suks (math suks), Math suks (math suks)
You don't even have to spell it
All you have to do is yell it
Math suks (math suks), Math suks (math suks)
Sometime times I think that I don't know that much
But math suks
Geometry and trigonometry and if they don't tax your brain
there are numbers to big to be named
Numerical precision is a science with a mission
and I think its' gonna drive me insane
Parents fighting with their children
and the congress can't agree
teachers and their students are all jousting constantly
management and labor keep rattling old sabres
quacking like those Peabody ducks
Math suks (quack quack), Math suks (quack quack)
You don't even have to spell it
All you have to do is yell it
Math suks, that's right, Math suks, you got it
Sometime times I think that I don't know that much
but Math suks
all right there goes our G rating
Math suks, math suks, math suks the big one
Math suks, math suks, math suks the big one
Math suks, math suks, math suks the big one
Math suks, math suks, math suks, math suks

Possible effect: renders everyone within some distance of Doug to be unable to perform any sort of higher mathematics. Not a terribly useful effect.

-The Twisted One
Oh good, my dog's found a chainsaw
--Lilo, "Lilo and Stitch"
"If you
wish to converse with me, define your
terms."

--Voltaire

[HoagieOfDoom]

Unless he wants to show up Skuld while she rebuilds his motorcycle.*********
There's no need to hear, I can shout you.

[classicdrogn]

No, no, sabotaging the calculations of the person currently assembling your antigravity device is a Bad Thing. Bad!
- CDThat which does not kill us... has made its last mistake.
SERVO: Loook *deeeeply* into my eyes... Tell me, what do you see?
CROW: (hypnotized) A twisted man who wants to inflict his pain upon others.
" It's crazy to try to spell out all the mega-nooks and hyper-crannies of a Borg contrivance." - Doug Drexler
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows

[robkelk]

It would also annul Skuld's promise to Doug, since he counter-promised not to make her job more difficult than necessary.
The song would, however, be useful in sabotaging Aoshima's team while they're working on a competition vehicle...
-Rob Kelk
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012

[HoagieOfDoom]

Whoops. I think some wires got crossed in my brain.*********
There's no need to hear, I can shout you.

[Bob Schroeck]

There's too many here for me to comment on quickly, but I've been a JB fan (tho' not a Parrothead) since "Son of a Son of a Sailor" came out in the late 70s. "Cheeseburger" is an old, old favorite.
That said, there's some interesting possibilities here.

-- Bob
---------
It's a "magical" land. I think "magical" is ancient Greek for "pain in the butt". -- Bun-Bun, Sluggy Freelance, 11/9/03