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Songs Doug Should Never *EVER* Play
Songs Doug Should Never *EVER* Play
#1
A forum for discussion of tunes that can ONLY make the situation worse...
Such as:
Dead Milkmen, "Someone has Angered the Volcano God"
(Gods AND volcanoes. Two strikes.)
Oingo Boingo, "Dead Man's Party"
"No Spill Blood"
INXS, "Devil Inside" (Akira Fudo, anyone?)
???, Animated Tick Theme, aka "Dup Dwee Dup Dup Dup Dwee Dow" (it'd
probably lower Doug's IQ to the point where you'd need special tools to
measure it)
Blue Oyster Cult, "A Veteran of the Psychic Wars" (Any possible powers are
not worth the crippling depression. And he'd probably lose his chaos
field and any protective clothing he had on too.)
Rolling Stones, "Paint it Black" (See above, minus the armor--and anyone he
cared for would be in *serious* trouble.)
Modern English, "I'll Stop the World and Melt with You" (Doesn't sound too
good any way you slice that...)
The Cocteau Twins, anything they ever did--Liz Frasier is less comprehensible
than Bob Dylan at his worst, so who *knows* what might happen? (Did she
just sing "sitting in a Beavis tree?" I swear, those songs are the aural
equivalent of a Rorschach test...)
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Re: Songs Doug Should Never *EVER* Play
#2
Another song Doug shouldn't play is "Six Months In A Leaky Boat" by Split Enz.
Great song,though....."There's only one kind of monster that uses bullets"
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Re: Songs Doug Should Never *EVER* Play
#3
Obvious:
"It's the End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)"
"Christmas At Ground Zero"
Tom Lehrer, "We Will All Go Together When We Go"
--
Sucrose Octanitrate.
Proof positive that with sufficient motivation, you can make anything explode.
Reply
Re: Songs Doug Should Never *EVER* Play
#4
This thread is a lot of fun to read... I'm glad I have a little something to contribute.
In the late 1980s, Helen "Wetter Hexe" Imre pointed out a song that Doug shouldn't use: "Go Insane" by Lindsay Buckingham. Not because of the title, but one repeated line in the verse structure: "I lost my power in this world". If that turned out to be the key phrase on which his metagift seized, well, there were two "worst case" scenarios that we came up with: one, his power becomes a lack of power for as long as the song plays... but once it's off, it's not responding, so it never knows to turn back on... or two, um... damn. I forgot it! I just had them both in mind, and now I've forgotten the second... geeze. When I can remember I'll post it.
Damn.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
Reply
Bad Bad things
#5
The Old Gods Return by. Blue Oyster Cult
I do *not* have to explain this.
Black Blade by, Blue Oyseter Cult
A summon for a billion year old malevolent Rune weapon that makes you its slave.
Psychotic Break by, Jerry Cantrell
duh
Hellbound by, Jerry Cantrell
A teleport to hell?
I'm Afraid of Americans by, David Bowie
I dont know what it would do, but it would be nothing good. Especially If he was around a military base with ICBM nukes or orbital weapon platforms.
We Are All made of Stars by, Moby
...... A quick end to *this* galaxy.
Them Bones by, Alice in Chains
I've mentioned this a few times and It still fits. It would at worst turn Doug into a zombie at best give him an out of body experience.
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Re: Bad Bad things
#6
One I just thought of in the car this morning: "Flagpole Sitta" by Harvey Danger.
"...and I'm so hot, 'cause I'm in Hell..."
"...they cut off my legs, now I'm an amputee..."
Um, no thanks.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
Reply
Re: Bad Bad things
#7
In the same vein as "Flagpole Sitta" would be Metallica's "One". It's been a while since I heard the song itself, but it has a repeated passage of the form:
Landmine
Has Taken My Sight
Taken My Speech
Taken My Hearing
Taken My Arms
Taken My Legs
Taken My Soul
Left Me with Life in Hell
(Sorry about the caps in the lyrics...a "feature" of the site I pulled them from)
Reply
Re: Bad Bad things
#8
Well, as soon as it takes his hearing, the song effectively ends...
One of Arcanum's catspaws did that to Doug in a game -- the cyborged childhood best friend mentioned in one particularly angsty passage right after Doug storms IDEC. One of the abilities built into him that made him a customized assassin for Doug was a sensory deprivation attack -- all Doug's senses shut down. I tried to get the team telepath to lend me his ears, so to speak, but the GM wouldn't allow it...
BTW, Alaeth, welcome to the forums. I don't recognize your handle, so I'm assuming you're a new reader, or at least a new one to the discusson boards, etc.
And no prob about the caps.

-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
Reply
Re: Bad Bad things
#9
Oh, right, hadn't thought about that one...
That raises a further question, though; how long would said loss of hearing last? Until the end of the song? This doesn't seem right to me, because then how would his metagift "know" to shut off the effect. If it shut off immediately, though, wouldn't it then turn on immediately (since the song's still playing) and thus apply the rest of the effects?
Thanks for the welcome; I lurked for a while on the old boards, but never actually posted anything. I do a fair amount of writing and game work (though no game writing), so DW is a particularly interesting series from that perspective. I've been reading since about chapter 9 or so, IIRC.
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Re: Bad Bad things
#10
We've had this situation come up in play, and the solution that was eventually agreed upon was based on the long-standing principle that once a song's over, it's over -- basically, as soon as he stops hearing the song, that trips its "not again until midnight" timer. It was ruled that even if the interruption is momentary -- defined as about a second -- the song is "over". Coming back into it immediately afterward would not continue whatever effect he was gaining from the song. Add to that the fact that the metagift responds quickly but not instantaneoulsy to songs, and basically, once deafness begins, that's it. That's the last he can use that song that day.

> Thanks for the welcome; I lurked for a while on the old boards,
> but never actually posted anything.

I've noticed that this board seems far more conducive to impulsive participation. The single-page format of the old one discouraged me from posting things more than it encouraged me.

> I do a fair amount of writing
> and game work (though no game writing), so DW is a
> particularly interesting series from that perspective.

It's been an interesting balance of the dramatic vs. gaming mindsets, as evidenced by the work I'm doing on the new chapter. It's no spoiler to tell you that there's a combat in the beginning. Well, in order to best balance drama and gaming sensibilities, I had to make a choice in how I was going to handle the fight, and that choice was "V&V-style" (as opposed to "Fuzion-style", aka "Champions-style", or original BGC cinematic). Believe it or not, V&V rules favored the Knight Sabers far more than my other options, and that worked for the story as a whole. Of course, other sensibilities can flavor that. I had a long discussion last night with my wife over the behavior of her character Shadowwalker in the upcoming chapter. Although I'm refusing to change how her part of the big combat ends, she's argued quite compellingly for rewriting the entire beginning of her part.

For another view of the gaming mindset as imposed on fiction, I wish I could show you the Champions crossover story chapter which was posted just before DW2 chapter 1 was released in 1998 -- but I can't find it on the Web and it's not in the hard disk side of my fic archives. I've mentioned this story before -- I was already writing DW at that point and it struck me as the exactly wrong way to do a superhero rpg character insert in the BGC world...

-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
Reply
Re: Bad Bad things
#11
Not referring to http://www.kindred.net/arthur/fanfictio ... larity.txt , I hope? I rather like that...
Blessed be.
-n
(Along with a lot of his other stuff, truth be told...)
===========

===============================================
"V, did you do something foolish?"
"Yes, and it was glorious."
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Re: Bad Bad things
#12
>For another view of the gaming mindset as imposed on fiction, I wish I could show you the Champions crossover story chapter which was posted just before DW2 chapter 1 was released in 1998 -- but I can't find it on the Web and it's not in the hard disk side of my fic archives. I've mentioned this story before -- I was already writing DW at that point and it struck me as the exactly wrong way to do a superhero rpg character insert in the BGC world...
Not referring to http://www.kindred.net/arthur/fanfictio ... larity.txt , I hope? I rather like that...
Blessed be.
-n
(Along with a lot of his other stuff, truth be told...)
((Grr. Hit the wrong button.))
===========

===============================================
"V, did you do something foolish?"
"Yes, and it was glorious."
Reply
Re: Bad Bad things
#13
> Not referring to www.kindred.net/arthur/fa...larity.txt ,
> I hope? I rather like that...
Okay, I just took a quick look at it. Nope, that's not it. The story I remember is some fellow in a battlesuit with gravity powers just literally drops in on a fight between the Sabers and (surprise, surprise) some boomers, helps them kick boomer butt, and then asks, "You guys got gravity technology? No? You want some?"
Unless it's been drastically rewritten, that's not the story you're pointing me to.

-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
Reply
Song's That Doug Shouldn't Play
#14
"Save Me" by Queen.Not only would he lose his wife but he would end up "naked and far from home".
"Home by The Sea" by Genesis.It's first -person,so Doug would be trapped in a haunted house for eternity (or at least until the song ended).
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Re: Song's That Doug Shouldn't Play
#15
How about "Manhatten Project" by Rush? Brrr...
Well... there goes the neighborhood...
And the ones next to it...
and pretty much the rest of the city as well...
ick...
-Logan
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Re: Song's That Doug Shouldn't Play
#16

-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
Reply
How about this.
#17
Two bad ideas:
Beck "Loser"
A song with the line "I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me" in the chorus is a bad idea.
Offspring( I think) "No self-esteem"
Especially if his wife is around the lyrics mentions that the singers significant other is sleeping with his friends. Also it's bound to remove any and all faith Doug has in hiss abilities.
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Re: How about this.
#18
Hit him right in his biggest target, eh?
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
Reply
"Self Esteem" and "Loser"
#19
Dug up the Lyrics For them:
Offspring
Smash (1994)
Self Esteem
I Wrote Her Off For The Tenth Time Today
And Practice All The Things I Would Say
But She Came Over
I Lost My Nerve
I Took Her Back And Made Her Dessert
Now I Know I'm Being Used
That's Okay Man Cause I Like The Abuse
I Know She's Playing With Me
That's Okay Cause I Got No Self Esteem
We Make Plans To Go Out At Night
I Wait Till 2 Then I Turn Out The Light
All This Rejection's Got Me So Low
If She Keeps It Up I Just Might Tell Her No
CHORUS
When She's Saying That She Wants Only Me
Then I Wonder Why She Sleeps With My Friends
When She's Saying That I'm Like A Disease
Then I Wonder How Much More I Can Spend
Well I Guess I Should Speak Up For Myself
But I Really Think It's Better This Way
The More You Suffer
The More It Shows You Really Care
Right? Yeah Yeah Yeah
Now I'll Relate This Little Bit
That Happens More Than I'd Like To Admit
Late At Night She Knocks On My Door
Drunk Again And Looking To Score
Now I Know I Should Say No
But That's Kind Of Hard When She's Ready To Go
I May Be Dumb
But I'm Not A Dweeb
I'm Just A Sucker With No Self Esteem
CHORUS
Beck
Mellow Gold (1994)
Loser
In The Time Of Chimpanzees I Was A Monkey
Butane In My Veins And I'm Out To Cut The Junkie
With The Plastic Eyeballs, Spray-paint The Vegetables
Dog Food Stalls With The Beefcake Pantyhose
Kill The Headlights And Put It In Neutral
Stock Car Flamin' With A Loser And The Cruise Control
Baby's In Reno With The Vitamin D
Got A Couple Of Couches, Sleep On The Love-seat
Someone Came In Sayin' I'm Insane To Complain
About A Shotgun Wedding And A Stain On My Shirt
Don't Believe Everything That You Breathe
You Get A Parking Violation And A Maggot On Your Sleeve
So Shave Your Face With Some Mace In The Dark
Savin' All Your Food Stamps And Burnin' Down The Trailer Park
Yo. Cut It.
Soy Un Perdedor
I'm A Loser Baby, So Why Don't You Kill Me?
Soy Un Perdedor
I'm A Loser Baby, So Why Don't You Kill Me?
Forces Of Evil On A Bozo Nightmare
Ban All The Music With A Phony Gas Chamber
'cuz One's Got A Weasel And The Other's Got A Flag
One's On The Pole, Shove The Other In A Bag
With The Rerun Shows And The Cocaine Nose-job
The Daytime Crap Of The Folksinger Slob
He Hung Himself With A Guitar String
A Slab Of Turkey-neck And It's Hangin' From A Pigeon Wing
You Can't Write If You Can't Relate
Trade The Cash For The Beef For The Body For The Hate
And My Time Is A Piece Of Wax Fallin' On A Termite
That's Chokin' On The Splinters
Soy Un Perdedor
I'm A Loser Baby, So Why Don't You Kill Me?
(get Crazy With The Cheese Whiz)
Soy Un Perdedor
I'm A Loser Baby, So Why Don't You Kill Me?
(drive-by Body-pierce)
(yo Bring It On Down)
Soooooooyy....
(I'm A Driver, I'm A Winner; Things Are Gonna Change I Can Feel It)
Soy Un Perdedor
I'm A Loser Baby, So Why Don't You Kill Me?
(I Can't Believe You)
Soy Un Perdedor
I'm A Loser Baby, So Why Don't You Kill Me?
Soy Un Perdedor
I'm A Loser Baby, So Why Don't You Kill Me?
(Schprechen Sie Deutches, Baby)
Soy Un Perdedor
I'm A Loser Baby, So Why Don't You Kill Me?
(Know What I'm Sayin'?)
Reply
Re: "Self Esteem" and "Loser"
#20
I dunno, that Beck song is so surreal that it might just be as... flexible... as "I Am The Walrus" when used for a power. "Beefcake pantyhose"?

-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
Reply
Re: Songs Doug Should Never *EVER* Play
#21
Quote:
Dave Matthews Band
Lie in our Graves

When I step into the light,
my arms are open wide.
When I step into the light--
my eyes searching wildly--
would you not like to be
sitting on top of the world with your legs hanging free?
And, would you not like to be
okay--okay--okay?
When I'm walking by the water--
splish-splash, me and you taking a bath--
when I'm walking by the water,
come up through my toes to my ankles to my head to my soul.
I'm blown away.
When I'm walking by the water--
splish-splash, me and you taking a bath--
when I'm walking by the water,
it comes up through my toes to my ankles to my head to my soul.
I'm blown away.
And, I can't believe that we would lie in our graves
wondering if we had spent our living days well.
I can't believe that we would lie in our graves
dreaming of things that we might have been.
Would you not like to be...?
I can't believe that you would not like to be
okay--okay--okay--
okay--okay--okay.
On a purely literal level, it's pretty obtuse. Tear it apart, however, and there's only one way I can interpret it:
Area Effect - Stoned
Almost certainly not in the Doug Sangnior Combat Collection--although, when equipped with one of the 30 minute concert bootlegs, I'm pretty sure he could be fairly popular at parties.

This, on the other hand, leaves absolutely no ambiguity in the interpretation:
Quote:
Dave Matthews Band
Say Goodbye

So here we are tonight
You and me together
The storm outside, the fire is bright
And in your eyes I see
What's on my mind
You've got me wild
Turned around inside
And then desire, see, is creeping
Up heavy inside here
And know you feel the same way
I do now
Now let's make this an evening
Lovers for a night, lovers for tonight
Stay here with me, love, tonight
Just for an evening
When we make
Our passion pictures
You and me twist up
Secret creatures
And we'll stay here
Tomorrow go back to being friends
Go back to being friends
But tonight let's be lovers,
We kiss and sweat
We'll turn this better thing
To the best
Of all we can offer, Just a rogue kiss
Tangled tongues and lips,
See me this way
I'm turning and turning for you
Girl just tonight
Float away here with me
An evening just wait and see
But tomorrow go back to your man
I'm back to my world
And we're back to being friends
Wait and see me,
Tonight let's do this thing
All we are is wasting hours until the sun comes up it's all ours
On our way here
Tomorrow go back to being friends
Go back to being friends
Tonight let's be lovers, say you will
And hear me call, soft-spoken whispering love
A thing or two I have to say here
Tonight let's go all the way then
Love I'll see you,
Just for this evening
Let's strip down, trip out at this
One evening starts with a kiss
Run away
And tomorrow
back to being friends
Lovers...love...lovers
Just for tonight, one night...love you
And tomorrow say goodbye
Increased Comliness/Persuasiveness/Etc. vs. Married Women
Indeed, married women will swoon at Doug's merest word...for all of six minutes, ten seconds. After that, any reactions to being hit on by some guy they don't know/like are, of course, up to the GM's discression. Heh.
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Re: Songs Doug Should Never *EVER* Play
#22
Quote:
On a purely literal level, it's pretty obtuse. Tear it apart, however, and there's only one way I can interpret it:
Area Effect - Stoned
You should see what "Lucy In the Sky With Diamonds" does... Doug once quite effectively stopped a bank robbery without lifting a finger by playing that song. As P.J. O'Rourke once said:
Quote:
Then there was LSD, which was supposed to make you think you could fly. I remember it made you think you couldn't stand up, and mostly it was right.
Quote:
Almost certainly not in the Doug Sangnior Combat Collection--although, when equipped with one of the 30 minute concert bootlegs, I'm pretty sure he could be fairly popular at parties.
What do you mean? Doug's always popular at parties. At least the ones he choses to go to...
Quote:
Increased Comliness/Persuasiveness/Etc. vs. Married Women
Indeed, married women will swoon at Doug's merest word...for all of six minutes, ten seconds. After that, any reactions to being hit on by some guy they don't know/like are, of course, up to the GM's discression. Heh.
The only married woman Doug's interested in is Maggie. And besides, Eddie Money's "Take Me Home Tonight" is much more efficient.

-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
Reply
Re: Songs Doug Should Never *EVER* Play
#23
Quote:
You should see what "Lucy In the Sky With Diamonds" does... Doug once quite effectively stopped a bank robbery without lifting a finger by playing that song.
Ah, but the trouble with using "Lie in our Graves" for that is:
Quote:
When I'm walking by the water--
splish-splash, me and you taking a bath--
when I'm walking by the water,
come up through my toes to my ankles to my head to my soul.
I'm blown away.
...Doug's not exempt.
Quote:
What do you mean? Doug's always popular at parties. At least the ones he choses to go to...
Somehow, I get this feeling that any party that Doug is invited to has a carefully chosen playlist for maximum metagift entertainment, just on the offhand chance that he forgets his tuneplug....
Quote:
The only married woman Doug's interested in is Maggie. And besides, Eddie Money's "Take Me Home Tonight" is much more efficient.
And that's two reasons why he shouldn't play it -- it's not an effect he wants, and it's indiscriminate. For six minutes, every married female eye he meets lusts for him -- burns for him -- and their inhibitions drop to zero. If he's in the middle of a crowded mall and his tuneplug goes south on him just as this starts playing on the P.A. system...well, there aren't many men who can say they've had the opportunity to run screaming from an unwanted orgy. Visions of the old gag of Doug getting dogpiled and clawing his way out from underneath with his clothes in a shambles come to mind.
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Re: Songs Doug Should Never *EVER* Play
#24
Two minutes of abject failure, anyone?
Quote:
We're Not Gonna Make It
by The Presidents of the United States of America

We're not gonna make it
Oh, no!
We're not gonna make it
Cause there's a million better bands
with a million better songs
Singers who can drum
Singers who can sing
Deep in my heart,
I do believe
We're not gonna make it
Oh, no!
We're not gonna make it
Cause we don't have the talent
And we don't have the time
We don't have the patience
And we don't know how to rhyme
No, no, no
We're not gonna make it!
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Re: Songs Doug Should Never *EVER* Play
#25
I wonder if "Kitty" would summon a simulacrum of Kat... The real Kat has already suggested Al Stewart's "The Year of the Cat" as another simulacrum song for her...
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
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