ROTFL, Part II

[The Hunterminator]

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"You're going to hell, you realize that," Flash said to Usagi as they walked down the walk and out the gate.
"I'll be in good company," Usagi said, making a gesture of dismissal. "Besides, ruling the dead is a career goal anyone can aspire to."
-- from The Amazing Spiderwoman, chapter 12, by StudioPC

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Oh, this looks neat, link please.

[Florin]

Ha! I've been trying to remember the name of that PastPresent fic for quite a while! Now, if only it were finished...--
Jimmy Hendrix is calling me! He's telling me to defeat Klingons! CAPTAIN PICARD!
--
If you become a monster to put down a monster you've still got a monster running around at the end of the day and have as such not really solved the whole monster problem at all. 

[Bob Schroeck]

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Oh, this looks neat, link please.

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I don't know if it's anywhere on the web at the mometn -- I've been reading it chapter-by-chapter as it comes out on the FFML. It is a seriously weird fusion -- Ami is Spiderwoman. But she's also Sailor Mercury. In fact, she has MPD, and she's three, three, three people in one... Usagi is a complete lunatic. Oh, and "Flash" in that quote is Makoto...
Anyway, give me a moment and I'll invoke the magic of Google to see if there's a web archive of the existing chapters.
(a few moments later) Nope, nothing obvious at least. You might want to email the author (studiopc (AT) sbcglobal (DOT) net) and ask.
-- Bob
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...The President is on the line
As ninety-nine crab rangoons go by...

[Bob Schroeck]

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Ha! I've been trying to remember the name of that PastPresent fic for quite a while! Now, if only it were finished...

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Oh yeah, tell me about it.
-- Bob
---------
...The President is on the line
As ninety-nine crab rangoons go by...

[Xenoproctologist]

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Oh, this looks neat, link please.

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The Amazing Spiderwoman by StudioPC a.k.a. Pandoras-Closet (via route of fanfiction.net)

[Bob Schroeck]

Bingo.
-- Bob
---------
...The President is on the line
As ninety-nine crab rangoons go by...

[The Hunterminator]

From what I've read so far, it's really great, and the author really likes to throw odd modifications to Spiderman and Sailor Moon.
The almost Batman like Spiderwoman for one.
Oh and, for some reason

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The young man paused, looked at the fountain and then began walking towards them.
"Excuse me," he said as he stopped a few feet away. "But is one of you Ami Mizuno?" He removed his glasses, revealing eyes of jade green and met her eyes.
Ami felt something she didn't even know was there slot into place. It felt . . . right. He smiled and she felt a stab of heat in her belly.
"I am," she said, but it came out in a squeak. She coughed and managed a bow. "I am," she said more normally.
He returned the bow. "Makato James Wantanbe. M.J. to my friends. Pleased to meet you."

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cracked me up, probably because I hadn't made the connection to the nickname until then.

[Evil Midnight Lurker]

That's not Usagi at all. That's fifteen miniaturized Minakos running an Usagibot.
ETA: Given certain remarks on her father's part, I am now inclined to believe that that really IS Minako, and the "real" Usagi is elsewhere. Giving a whole new spin on the "decoy Princess" scam.
--Sam
"One of these days, milkshake! BOOM!"

[Valles]

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That's not Usagi at all. That's fifteen miniaturized Minakos running an Usagibot.
ETA: Given certain remarks on her father's part, I am now inclined to believe that that really IS Minako, and the "real" Usagi is elsewhere. Giving a whole new spin on the "decoy Princess" scam.

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*gobsmacked*
Wow. How dumb am I for having missed that?
OTOH, the Usagibot line makes me giggle every time I read it, so I suppose I'll have to forgive you. ^_^
Ja, -n

===============================================
"Puripuri puripuri... Bang!"

[Bob Schroeck]

Could "Cousin Naru" be Usagi?
-- Bob
---------
...The President is on the line
As ninety-nine crab rangoons go by...

[The Hunterminator]

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Could "Cousin Naru" be Usagi?

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Well... the Magnetite thing makes me think otherwise.

[Bob Schroeck]

I suppose I should reread the entire story before I make suggestions like that.
-- Bob
---------
...The President is on the line
As ninety-nine crab rangoons go by...

[Valles]

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Could "Cousin Naru" be Usagi?

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Only if I missed a reference to her hair color someplace.
But...
Given what Strange and Fury and them were saying about her, and Kenji Tsukino's role in this fusion...
Might the Usagibot have gotten a dose of goblin gas? It'd fit the pattern of the senshi having superpowers in their civilian guises also at the same time as it explained her... issues.
Ja, -n

===============================================
"Puripuri puripuri... Bang!"

[Evil Midnight Lurker]

Makes a fair bit of sense, tho' I'm pretty sure Shingo is being set up as Harry Osborn.
--Sam
"Keep playing with fire, superpants! You don't know how much fire you're playing with!"

[Norgarth]

from pt 8 of 'Family Values', a Harry Potter/Addams family fic.

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Then its settled. Ill call Dr MacIntyger in an hour, Gomez said, checking his watch. She owes me a favour or two. She can get someone over here right away to check you out, and we can have you enrolled at the Reserve by nightfall. I guarantee you, it will be much more comfortable than the cellar.
What? Dr who? Reserve? Im sorry, Im totally lost, said Remus.
No, no. Different doctor, said Gomez. Lycanthrope specialist. One of the best. You do see a specialist in England, dont you?
Cant say as I do. Kind of thin on the ground there, you know.

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__________________
We are not ninjas, we are a hedge. Please move along.
___________________________
"I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific." - George Carlin

[Aleh]

From a recent Addventure thread...

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If you were to ask Kaname Chidori about Sousuke, one of the things she might say in the long list of unnecessarily harsh and degrading criticisms is that Sousuke never learned.
She would be wrong, of course. Sousuke was a soldier, but he also considered himself a student of war. Someone as hardened as he knew of the thousands of little things one had to learn to survive and succeed on the battlefield that one didn't find out in any kind of training. It was only through mistakes and experience that some lessons could be learned, and a soldier simply had to do his best and use his instincts to insure that he was still breathing after the lesson was taught. And as he was wont to do, he simply crammed the learning experience of civilian life and school into the context of learning he was familiar with, and treated simple urban living like a battlefield experience.
So, actually, in THAT respect, maybe Kaname was right.
Either way, he had learned a lot from protecting the tempermental beauty, and he had carefully and dutifully compiled his experiences and the lessons learned so that he may put that experience to use in later missions of the same type. He found note-taking especially useful, since these sorts of missions seemed to have a lot more subtleties to them that a "bottom line" thinker like Sousuke could easily forget otherwise.
Looking at the note in his hand, he went over his lessons to insure that THIS time, he would not overly aggravate the target or draw undue attention to himself.
1: When destroying suspicious packages or tampered lockers, use SMALL charges.
2: When it appears a threat has surfaced in the girl's locker room, CONFIRM existence and location of threat before entering. Avoid entering at all if possible.
3: Do not take bioweapons or chemical weapons of any sort to school, even if the container is properly sealed and labeled. High school students are idiots and will open anything.
4: Use care when determining trap placement on school grounds. Security is extremely lax, and there are few areas where students will not go.
5: If invited to an isolated rendevous by an unknown person, neutralize and dispose of him or her right away instead of simply hiding and awaiting suspicious activities. It will save your time, as well as that of the target, who is probably watching from a different hidden location.
6: Never touch a girl's undergarments. If forced to make contact with said articles when removed from their owner, dispose of them immediately above all other non-lethal concerns.
7: Hot spring "vacations" have an odd tendency to increase stress rather than reducing it. Bypass such opportunities and dissuade the target from going if possible.
8: All trips outside the general area of residence have at least a 50% chance of provoking a kidnapping. Suggest alternatives to the target, such as a local museum, or being tied up in the coat closet.
Nodding to himself, Sousuke carefully folded the note back up and placed it back in his shirt pocket. He was ready. The operation had begun!

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-- This message brought to you by Ely Lilly, makers of SeraFem: Happy Pills for PMS.

[Black Aeronaut]

*Snickers* By God, the boy -is- learning.

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Black Aeronaut Technologies Group
Aerospace Solutions for the discerning spacer
"To the commissary we should go," Yoda declared firmly. "News
of this kind a danish requires."

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[The Hunterminator]

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2: When it appears a threat has surfaced in the girl's locker room, CONFIRM existence and location of threat before entering. Avoid entering at all if possible.

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Words of wisdom that ALL male anime characters could benefit from.

[Black Aeronaut]

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Words of wisdom that ALL male anime characters could benefit from.

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And even then, if there was an actual threat, those girls would still beat his ass. I tell yeah, guys always wind up on the short end of the stick in these romantic comedies.

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Black Aeronaut Technologies Group
Aerospace Solutions for the discerning spacer
"To the commissary we should go," Yoda declared firmly. "News
of this kind a danish requires."

---

[Aleh]

The funniest part is that each of those items is inspired by actual incidents from FMP... including the bioweapon one.-- This message brought to you by Ely Lilly, makers of SeraFem: Happy Pills for PMS.

[Sirrocco]

Of course they are. That's how you accumulate battlefield lore - by doing well and remembering how you did it, by screwing up and remembering to never do it again, or by learning from your fellow soldiers who did one of the above at some point in the past.
Sadly, this poor guy doesn't *have* fellow soldiers in this arena. He has to collect the bruises all by himself.

[Aleh]

The point was more that that fact made it funnier. :-)-- This message brought to you by Ely Lilly, makers of SeraFem: Happy Pills for PMS.

[Sirrocco]

Indeed it does - and my point was that it *also* made it more stylish - though I admit I was perhaps excessively subtle.
We are in violent agreement.
Also, keyed by a reminder from another thread...
----------------------
"Sarcasm, Daddy! Sarcasm!" Selena slammed the fork and knife on the table top, shaking it from the force of the blow. "Is it too much to ask for a normal breakfast, like all the other kids get? Maybe you could serve eggs that aren't two years old and come in a foil covered square? Milk that was never in something other than liquid form? Maybe even, *gasp*, some kind of fresh meat?"
"All perishables. The food we have now is more practical. Not only does it fill all of your nutritional requirements, but it's easy to transport and will last months if we come under siege."
"We live in the suburbs! No one lays siege to anyone out here, Goddammit!" Habit made her grab onto her braid, threatening to pull it out by its roots in frustration.
Heero looked disapprovingly at the gesture. "You really ought to cut that hair short and lose the braid. It's too easy for an opponent to grab onto it and gain an advantage."
Selena looked aghast at the very idea. "Where else would I hide my lock picks and collapsible stiletto?"
"So that's where you put them. I hadn't considered that. Very ingenious." Heero gave her a flat stare of approval. "You can keep the hair."
--------------------
and also
--------------------
They were almost finished when Selena said, "Oh, by the way, Jimmy Lopez is coming over to play with me today. I'm warning you in advance since he's the first friend I've had that's willing to come over since the last time you screwed everything up with Tommy Thorton."
Heero looked at her in confusion. "Screwed everything up? I have no idea what you mean."
"You locked him in a full nelson and mashed his face into the ground, shouting out, 'Who sent you?' over and over again!"
"When I see some complete stranger furtively looking around my house, I disable first and interrogate later."
"He was a scrawny eight-year-old looking for the bathroom!"
"He could have been a highly trained midget commando that was disguised to look like a scrawny eight-year-old in order to lull us into a false sense of security." Heero snatched the butter knife thrown at him out of mid-air. "You're getting faster."
----------------
www.florestica.com/dbsomm.../index.htm
Yardwork, with Heero Yui

[drakensis]

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Alright my name is Hatake kakashi I have no interest of telling you my hobbies. I also have no ambitions to tell you my dreams. I like things and I also dislike things too! Ok next he said happily.
Wow! Me too! We have so much in common! Naruto said causing everyone around him to do a facefault.

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AgainD for Drakensis
"An ugly macho guy can never beat an intelligent, slender, popular, and handsome hero."
D for Drakensis

You're only young once, but immaturity is forever.

[Aleh]

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Lee twitched. She stole my schnicht, he murmured, before bursting into tears. Tenten, you finally see the power of the path of the Green Beast!
Nodoka knuckled away a tear as Lee and Gai started crying. Ah, shes developing her first neurosis and fixation! she cried. Its so beautiful!

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From Raikiri Triken...-- This message brought to you by Ely Lilly, makers of SeraFem: Happy Pills for PMS.