ROTFL, Part II

[WengFook]

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Percy died screaming defiance at Voldermort and trying to protect his family. Ends up hed been playing spy since Snape was found out, and had been underlining the Dark Lord every time he could. The sight of his family about to die, however, brought about instincts that had been buried deep in him for years.

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An unintended typo just has me rolling around in laughter at the thought of Percy running around with a black marker pen and underlining graffiti which say "Dark Lord" _______________________________
We are the swords in the darkness, the watchers on the walls. The fire that burns against the cold, the light that brings the dawn. The horn that wakes the sleepers. The shield that guards the realms of men. -The Brothers Black
_________________________________
Take Your Candle, Go Light Your World.

[Aleh]

From a wierd fic called Results:

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Blast it! Jiraiya exclaimed. I don't want to be the -

He was interrupted by a smaller, older pervert. I'll do it if you won't, sonny boy.
Happosai had a much larger pipe than normal, but was otherwise unchanged.
Is that- Are you- That's... Jiraiya spoke quickly and stuttered.
The village elder finally asked for him. Are you smoking Orochimaru's severed arms?
So? Happosai replied.

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-- This message brought to you by Ely Lilly, makers of SeraFem: Happy Pills for PMS.

[ECSNorway]

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Quote:Percy died screaming defiance at Voldermort and trying to protect his family. Ends up hed been playing spy since Snape was found out, and had been underlining the Dark Lord every time he could. The sight of his family about to die, however, brought about instincts that had been buried deep in him for years.
An unintended typo just has me rolling around in laughter at the thought of Percy running around with a black marker pen and underlining graffiti which say "Dark Lord"

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Percy Weasley, Editor. Marking for later correction every mispelling of the title of the Dork Lord.--
"I give you the beautiful... the talented... the tirelessly atomic-powered...
R!
DOROTHY!
WAYNERIGHT!
--
Sucrose Octanitrate.
Proof positive that with sufficient motivation, you can make anything explode.

[Sirrocco]

Could we possibly get a link on the Orochimaru's Severed Arm fic?

[CattyNebulart]

"If we all let that kind of common sense cloud our judgment, nothing would ever get blown up." - Snake from Guardian.
E: "Did they... did they just endorse the combination of the JSDF and US Army by showing them as two lesbian lolicons moving in together and holding hands and talking about how 'intimate' they were?"
B: "Have you forgotten so soon? They're phasing out Don't Ask, Don't Tell."

[HoagieOfDoom]

When Napoleon returned to the observation chamber with an armful of snacks, the group hadn't changed much. Sukesh was sitting in the same chair, arms grimly folded. Lupin had his feet kicked up on the table and was staring at the ceiling. Isobel was nowhere in sight and Henry was stretched out on a sofa against the wall. "Any change?" Napoleon said, tossing about bags of crisps and a few Chocolate Frogs.
Sukesh sighed. "Well, Hermione came out of the corner, which seems like a good thing. Harry stopped cracking his knuckles, which is definitely good because it was starting to really get to me. Then he sat straight up and said 'basin,' which was well creepy, I can tell you."
Hero With a Thousand Faces, Chapter 2*********
Touched By His Noodly Appendage
www.venganza.org

[HoagieOfDoom]

"Take heart, gentle Cinderella. I shall grant you any wish you may have tonight."
"My, that's wonderful... Burn the ballroom until it's no more than ash."
"That's a crime. Please wish for something softer and a little more innocent."
Fruits Basket, chapter 88*********
Touched By His Noodly Appendage
www.venganza.org

[The Hunterminator]

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He frowned as he watched the pigtailed man dart across the crater-ridden field as the Russian man appeared again, and dodged two sudden explosions before striking the enemy again in the head with his other leg.
This man was fighting the bad guy. Face-to-face. One-on-one. He was totally in the thick of it, narrowly escaping being blown to pieces while launching a sustained assault on the enemy.
"What is he, a woman?" Tuxedo Mask scoffed.
After all, male heroes were supposed to be mysterious and aloof, only helping enough to get the women out of a tight spot and giving them the encouragement they needed to succeed for themselves.

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www.fanfiction.net/s/2449022/4/

[Rieverre]

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"Where's my mother? Where's the woman who should be your wife, Kisuke? The woman who should be nagging at us for not doing our jobs properly, staying up late at night, and coming home in a mess when she's been worried sick about us over dinner."
"Na-Naruto!"
"Where's my sister? Where's the girl who should be your daughter, Kisuke? The girl you can dote upon, spoil her silly, and be really protective of her, arguing with Kaa-chan that you really didn't mean to crash Nee-chan's first date and set fire to her boyfriend's pants when you thought he was doing something totally un-gentlemanly."

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www.fanfiction.net/s/2655031/5/
-Griever
When tact is required, use brute force. When force is required, use greater force.
When the greatest force is required, use your head. Surprise is everything. - The Book of Cataclysm

[ECSNorway]

Joyce swallowed dryly. "This is-"
"Disaster?" Buffy broke in. "Catastrophe? Cataclysm? Lady Une having a glasses moment? Tell me when I'm getting warm!" Oh man, I know exactly what Une going glasses-maniacal looks like. Just like I know what it's like to shoot someone, to crush them under Deathscythe, to knife them from behind...
"Catastrophe?" Cordelia burst out. "It's Armageddon!"
Dazed, everyone stared at her.
"My entire wardrobe! Useless! Nothing goes with lavender hair!"
"Oro..." Kenshin sighed.--
"I give you the beautiful... the talented... the tirelessly atomic-powered...
R!
DOROTHY!
WAYNERIGHT!
--
Sucrose Octanitrate.
Proof positive that with sufficient motivation, you can make anything explode.

[WengFook]

Unless i'm horrendously out of date with anime characters.. I must ask. What the heck is Kenshin doing in Buffy's world O_o_______________________________
We are the swords in the darkness, the watchers on the walls. The fire that burns against the cold, the light that brings the dawn. The horn that wakes the sleepers. The shield that guards the realms of men. -The Brothers Black
_________________________________
Take Your Candle, Go Light Your World.

[ECSNorway]

It's related to why Buffy thinks she's Duo Maxwell, and Cordelia has lavender hair.
Ethan Rayne's Very Very Very Bad No Good Horrible Awful Bad Day--
"I give you the beautiful... the talented... the tirelessly atomic-powered...
R!
DOROTHY!
WAYNERIGHT!
--
Sucrose Octanitrate.
Proof positive that with sufficient motivation, you can make anything explode.

[Bob Schroeck]

Right. I knew I'd read that fic, but I couldn't remember the title, believe it or not...
-- Bob
---------
...The President is on the line
As ninety-nine crab rangoons go by...

[Florin]

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"Rumors are an irritating thing," Sousuke said solemnly, staring forward over the two junior high students as if he wasn't speaking directly to them. "And tragic accidents can happen at any time, and at any place, with no forewarning." Then he frowned. "Strangely enough, they tend to happen more often to those who've stumbled upon an inconvenient piece of information. Surely it's a coincidence."

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From the Master of Orion Addventure mentioned earlier.--
Comb your hair, damn anime hippies.
--
If you become a monster to put down a monster you've still got a monster running around at the end of the day and have as such not really solved the whole monster problem at all. 

[Sirrocco]

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Every time you fail miserably at this, Chuck Norris kills a kitten.

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Ozzalos (of fanfiction.net) talking about grammar and spelling in fanfic.

[Aleh]

From an essay on the impossibility of human/saiyajin mating that I found on this site:

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But if they CAN FLYwe now have tens of millions of Vegetas sperm swarming in the air over Japan.
This is a tad more serious then it looks.
These sperm are pretty damn tough. If they possess even the smallest fraction of Vegetas strength at that time, they most likely can take high heat, cold, toxins and a lot of other things and just shrug it off. They are miniscule but dangerous, for each possesses a small version of Vegetas power.
I can just see it. Japan is shaken by tiny sonic booms. Wormholes, charred by heat, sprout magically in all kinds of things: plate glass, masonry, antique ceramics, electric mixers, wood, household pets, and citizens. Some of the sperm will crack light speed. The night of Japan will come alive with a network of narrow, eerie blue lines of Cherenkov radiation.
And then there is the possibly that the sperm can go Super Saiyan.
Id like to see how Goku defeats THAT threat.

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-- This message brought to you by Ely Lilly, makers of SeraFem: Happy Pills for PMS.

[DHBirr]

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These sperm are pretty damn tough. If they possess even the smallest fraction of Vegetas strength at that time, they most likely can take high heat, cold, toxins and a lot of other things and just shrug it off. They are miniscule but dangerous, for each possesses a small version of Vegetas power.
I can just see it. Japan is shaken by tiny sonic booms. Wormholes, charred by heat, sprout magically in all kinds of things: plate glass, masonry, antique ceramics, electric mixers, wood, household pets, and citizens. Some of the sperm will crack light speed. The night of Japan will come alive with a network of narrow, eerie blue lines of Cherenkov radiation.

---

I hate to say this, Aleh, but this seems to be at least partly plagiarized from Larry Niven's 1978 essay "Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex" (which is hysterical, by the way).
Relevant portion:

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Consider: these sperm are virtually indestructible. Within days or weeks they will die from lack of nourishment. Meanwhile they cannot be affected by heat, cold, vacuum, toxins, or anything short of green kryptonite.
There they are, minuscule but dangerous; for each has supernormal powers.
Metropolis is shaken by tiny sonic booms. Worm-holes, charred by meteoric heat, sprout magically in all kinds of things: plate glass, masonry, antique ceramics, electric mixers, wood, household pets, and citizens. Some of the sperm will crack lightspeed. The Metropolis night becomes alive with a network of narrow, eerie blue lines of Cherenkov radiation.
And women whom Superman has never met find themselves in a delicate condition.

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Big Brother is watching you.  And damn, you are so bloody BORING.

[Sirrocco]

This is true. Actually, *much* of it is taken from that essay. He does acknowledge it at the bottom, though.

[Aleh]

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There was another person here. A young girl, with blue hair and pale skin. She was cute.
As was her sister, and her other sister and the rest of her dozen siblings that were all lying around the room.
Blushing, Shinji tried to stand up but fell back down after hearing the door open.
In came the commander, this time in his uniform. Seeing his son awake the bearded man smiled. It was a smile that looked way to freaky to be natural.
Hey I see you already met your roommates. Shinji this is Rei, I forgot her number but I dont think they care about silly things like that.
Panicking at his father casual tone, the boy tried to stand up again, which once again resulted in him landing on his butt.
Dont strain yourself son. You will need your strength for whats coming. Smirking down at his son and the now slowly waking Reis, Gendo focused again on his son, or at least he tried to, but damnit, he didnt remember having three sons even if they were kind of blurry. Had he cloned Shinji too?
Whats coming? Whos coming? Tell me oto-san. Shinji Ikari was now officially afraid. His fathers little speech had scared him. The sinister gleam in his fathers eyes could only lead to misfortune and bad luck for Shinji.
Well that depends who you start with.
Ok, false alarm, it hadnt been sinister. It had been a perverted gleam. His father was really crazy.

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-- This message brought to you by Ely Lilly, makers of SeraFem: Happy Pills for PMS.

[Aleh]

More Results:

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Sasuke was actually to the point of open resistance. So, I have to carry YOUR stuff to MY house so you can live there and to top it off, we first have to go on a shopping trip with MY money to get YOU more stuff for ME to carry?
Nabiki chuckled. You have plenty of money, lover, and I'm sure you should spend it on your beloved wife-to-be.
Oh? Why's that? Sasuke lifted an eyebrow.
Because I'm so hot, that's why. Nabiki said, matter-of-factly.
I have plenty of hot girls who'd love to be with me what makes you so special? Sasuke asked, under his breath, but Nabiki heard.
Those girls your age? Listen, boy, I have something those twelve-year-olds couldn't compete with.
Oh yeah? What's that?
These. Nabiki said, cupping her breasts seductively. 'Not as big as when I was seventeen, but more than this kid's ever had shaken at him!' she thought smugly.
... Which store did you say we were going to first?

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-- This message brought to you by Ely Lilly, makers of SeraFem: Happy Pills for PMS.

[Bob Schroeck]

From chapter 15 of StudioPC's The Amazing Spiderwoman (a very strange Marvel-Sailor Moon crossover), which just appeared on the FFML last night:

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The blonde reached up and began flipping switches and the door to the cockpit hissed closed. Banner figured that was probably for the best as the cabin shuddered with the sounds of the engines powering up and the loudspeaker crackled to life with Sailor Moon's voice.
"Good Afternoon, Ladies and Youma, this is your captain speaking. Welcome aboard Moon Airlines Flight Last Ditch Attempt to save our lives to Earth. We'll be cruising just high enough not to hit anything as we attempt to outrun gamma radiation, a pissed off demigod, and the return of corduroy bell bottoms. This is a nonstop flight and no smoking will be permitted. Please insure that your seats are in their full and upright position, your tray tables have been stowed, and that your asses have been properly kissed goodbye. In the event of an emergency, we're all fucked. Thank you for choosing Moon Airlines and enjoy your flight."
The intercom did not shut off and everyone in the cabin heard Jupiter's worried question. "Sailor Moon, do you even know how to fly this thing?"
"Nope!" Sailor Moon replied cheerfully, "but it's a little late to be worrying about trivial details, don't you think?"
"Oh, God," Jupiter groaned as the intercom clicked off.

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-- Bob
---------
...The President is on the line
As ninety-nine crab rangoons go by...

[DHBirr]

In the words of Bob Newhart, "You're the navigator; you oughta know where the hell we are!"
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Big Brother is watching you.  And damn, you are so bloody BORING.

[Jeap]

Im not. Really, Im not, Harry said quickly. Its just that, before Luna sat on my lap, I hadnt really thought about her in that way.
From Wizards, Superheroes, and Jackalopes

[CattyNebulart]

Snow Claes And The Seven Cyborg Sprites...
a pardoy fic...
"Ultra Ultra Directed by:
Suzumiya Haruhi"
www.fanfiction.net/s/3283425/1/
E: "Did they... did they just endorse the combination of the JSDF and US Army by showing them as two lesbian lolicons moving in together and holding hands and talking about how 'intimate' they were?"
B: "Have you forgotten so soon? They're phasing out Don't Ask, Don't Tell."

[Black Aeronaut]

Ganked from the EPU Forums...

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EXTERIOR, NIGHT. Utena is on her way back to East Hall from the Secret Forest, looking tired and confused.
UTENA: Man, what the hell was that all about? Oh well. Forget about it. Go to bed.
ANTHY and SILENT BOB appear from behind the archway ahead of her. UTENA pauses, puzzled. SILENT BOB puts down a soapbox, which ANTHY then climbs up onto.
ANTHY (clearing throat importantly): Attention, current winner of the dueling cycle. My name is Anthy Himemiya, and I am the Rose Bride. Until further notice, me and Silent Bob will be hanging with you. That is all.
SILENT BOB nods.
UTENA: ... ?!

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Black Aeronaut Technologies Group
Aerospace Solutions for the discerning spacer
"But first, let's test it on the penguin."
"Meep?" O.o

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