ROTFL, Part II

[WengFook]

lol that guy's license plate wins _______________________________
We're definitely playing this game wrong. I thought Vampire was supposed to be a game of personal horror, not about ninja airstrikes
at night.
- A friend after playing a session of Dark Ages Vampire.
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away. THERE IS ONLY WAR!
-Same friend.
_________________________________
Take Your Candle, Go Light Your World.

[Sirrocco]

---

Ranma had continued to sit at the table, even after everyone else had finished, munching on the few crumbs left in the bowls while Kasumi and Nodoka picked up the dirty dishes and carted them into the kitchen. Once all the plates were gone, Ranma sighed; it had been a banner meal from Kasumi and would be fondly remembered until the next meal.

---

www.fanfiction.net/s/1295355/1/
Fame, by Sinom Bre

[Sirrocco]

and, apologies for the double-posting, but...

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Dont worry Faith Wesley told her. Their reign of terror, personal insults and quips at our expense will shortly come to an end he said With Giles gone Buffy will not be able to resist alone and we will rebuild the organisation in our image, slayers will be sassy, remorseful and have cleavage, watchers will be scruffy, wake up with hangovers and date demons he declared doing his best impression of a super-villain. The forces of evil will crumble before us because they wont be sure if were on their side or not and theyll be far too confused to fight back he claimed. I have seen the future and it will be glorious he told her grandly.

---

Quote from "Compelled to Play by new rules", by HotPoint. (there's a quote from earlier in the cycle a little further up.) It's glorious. It's hilarious. I keep getting the impulse to drag various quotes over here, and having to fight them back down.

[DHBirr]

---

The unicorns stopped dancing angrily, and looked from Sasha to the Rusalka and back again. And back to Sasha. And back to the Rusalka.
"Um," said one, hesitantly. "A problem..."
"No problem," said the first immediately, tossing her head. "This is a creature of darkness!"
"But..." the hesitant one said, as she dropped her head to sniff at the water. "A virgin creature of darkness..."
It was the Rusalka's turn to flush as bright a red as a ghost could manage.
"No problem," insisted the first, who was evidently the leader of this group. "That is a female. So are we, and we do not protect females. And she is a creature of darkness. We destroy creatures of darkness. Virginity doesn't enter into it."
"But..."
"I'm quite sure there are virgin creatures of darkness all the time," the leader retorted, stamping her forehoof....

---

From Fortune's Fool by Mercedes Lackey, just out in hardcover.
-----
Big Brother is watching you.  And damn, you are so bloody BORING.

[Ebony]

"Well, here I am in an abandoned asylum ... wearing a straitjacket ... talking to myself ...." - Raz, from "Psychonauts"Ebony the Black Dragon
Senior Editor, Living Room Games
http://www.lrgames.com
Ebony the Black Dragon
http://ebony14.livejournal.com

"Good night, and may the Good Lord take a Viking to you."

[Sirrocco]

---

Dont think Ill do this every time you get drunk, Hermione said, as she placed a steaming potion on her husbands lap.
Is it going to kill me? Ron asked, with a small amount of hope in his voice.
Its a hangover cure.
Wow, he said and drank it down quickly. That tastes foul!
So it should, Hermione agreed. If it tasted good, there would be no reason for you to remain sober.
Right, Ron said dryly.
So, what happened last night?
I had a chat with Harry, made sure he got most of his anger out of the way, and we made friends again.
I told you not to protect me.
And I ignored you, Ron stated.
What am I going to do with you?
Wear that nurse outfit? Ron said with a grin.
If youre lucky, she replied with a slight smile.

---

Hope, chapter 5 - Jeconais

[itsune9tl]

---

Having already committed his body to one course of action, it was impossible to try and change it
before landing. Never the less, Ranma tried his best to do so anyway. He didn't succeed though.
"Auuugghhhh-"
Yoruichi smiled that insufferable smile that only felines are capable of.
*BAMF*
An eruption of white smoke obscured the landing zone as Ranma touched down.
Ranma tensed, then relaxed as he realized that nothing small and furry was touching him.
Then tensed up again as he realized that something warm and very familiar *was* underneath him.
He looked down as the smoke cleared.
"Hey!? No fair, why aren't you naked?!"

---

from Coming Home to Roost.

[Kheram Coldstar]

Link please?

Kheram

[Norgarth]

from 'The Sum of Their Parts' pt 41
www.fanfiction.net/s/3266836/41/
****************
Then Anya walked out with some of the food. She took a sniff, then a second, and dropped the food. Aaaah!
Within seconds the garage was full of people. What is it? Giles said. Is it Glory?
No! Anya said. I smell a bunny! Buffy threw up her hands in sheer frustration, growled, and went back inside the house.
Jane said, Ah. You noticed Spikes dinner.
Anya looked at Spike. You ate a bunny?
A bit embarrassed, Spike said, They brought it back, and I was hungry.
I love you, Anya said. Not in a sexual way or anything, though Im betting you probably have some stories to tell there, but not now. Go ahead. Kill as many bunnies as you want.
Anya, Xander said, We need to go back inside.
Oh, you go, Anya said. Im going to stand here and bask in the odor of the dead bunny.__________________
I bet that if you cooked an elephant, you'd have a lot of leftovers.
___________________________
"I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific." - George Carlin

[itsune9tl]

---

Link please?

---

chapter 4 of Comming Home to Roost
looks like the quoted scene is going to be part of chapter five.
Was just waiting for the author to Officialy Publish the chapter.
Got to This place for the "unpublished" bits

[HoagieOfDoom]

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Lacus: Hi there! I'm Athrun's pretty fiance who is also a famous singer. Go ahead and believe that I'm an airhead. I'm so doped up on happy drugs that I couldn't care less!

---

Gundam SEED in 20 Minutes - spoilage abound, but dead on.*********
Touched By His Noodly Appendage
www.venganza.org

[WengFook]

That 20 minutes thing is absolutely dead on. _______________________________
We're definitely playing this game wrong. I thought Vampire was supposed to be a game of personal horror, not about ninja airstrikes
at night.
- A friend after playing a session of Dark Ages Vampire.
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away. THERE IS ONLY WAR!
-Same friend.
_________________________________
Take Your Candle, Go Light Your World.

[The Hunterminator]

---

Light Dark Im the Senshi with the chainsaw! The small engine roared to life with a single yank of its pull cord. Steel teeth began to whir hungrily around the elliptical blade. I held my weapon over my head and relished the look of fear in my opponent. I charged while screaming a mighty war cry. Deadite!
In order to defend itself, it released all of the Senshi. Not that the vines were a match for my wrath or mechanical instrument of holy retribution. Indeed, I had no mercy as I hacked into its bark and my face was splashed with a sap like ichor. Not being able to withstand my fury, it was soon if full retreat. I chased after it, singing, Im a lumberjack and Im okay!
To say the least, the other Senshi were dumbfounded as my prey and I circled them. Occasionally, I would catch snippets of conversations.
Whats a Deadite?
I dont know, but Sailor Nemesis seems to take offence at their existence.
Im glad Im not one then.
Same here.
Oh look, its stopped running. Do you think she tired it out?
I think it would rather die than hear one more verse.
Soon enough there was nothing left of it but splinters, sap and chain oil. I was standing in the middle of it all with a slightly maniac smile and glint in my eyes, my chest heaving slightly. Well, that was a decent workout. I looked up at the others who were staring at me in wide-eyed horror. What? Havent you ever seen a girl get into her work before?

---

From the Avatar One Half rewrite, book 2, chapter 8
www.fanfiction.net/s/3329929/8/

[WengFook]

Avatar one half and Sequel the other half win... very much. _______________________________
We're definitely playing this game wrong. I thought Vampire was supposed to be a game of personal horror, not about ninja airstrikes
at night.
- A friend after playing a session of Dark Ages Vampire.
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away. THERE IS ONLY WAR!
-Same friend.
_________________________________
Take Your Candle, Go Light Your World.

[ECSNorway]

---

Willow was also fighting back the nerves, but for an entirely different reason.
Oh my god! Captain, we have to go back, she exclaimed. Carter was surprised at the sudden agitation until now the redhead had seemed the most level headed of the civilians, and had been handing the situation with aplomb.
Calm down, Miss Rosenberg. Why do we need to go back?
Although the air force had supplied them all with regulation camouflaged green ski jackets, trousers and boots for the cold weather, they were still wearing their own tops underneath.
Because Im wearing a red shirt. Weve beamed ourselves onto an alien planet to go exploring, and Im the one wearing a red shirt. I dont want to die! Carter burst out laughing.
You think youve got it bad, she answered between bouts of giggles, Im the Captain - therefore all my immediate future holds is making out with some green-skinned princess then getting into a fight with her father. Willow didnt think that fate was so bad; well the first bit anyway.

---

Kelley's Heros - a fic which starts by tossing Faith and General Hammond into a fix together....
Another bit from the same chapter, as Riley and Graham decide to escort a couple of young Slayers out to check out Colorado Springs' nightlife:

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What Sams off gallivanting around another world and youd rather stay in a room buried under a mountain than escort these two beautiful young ladies into town? Besides if we left them alone, who knows what kind of nasty things they could happen to.

---

--
"I give you the beautiful... the talented... the tirelessly atomic-powered...
R!
DOROTHY!
WAYNERIGHT!
--
Sucrose Octanitrate.
Proof positive that with sufficient motivation, you can make anything explode.

[ECSNorway]

---

Natalie simply looked at her friend like the answer should be obvious by now. "We're on our way to visit Atlantis, and you're wondering how they got chocolate pudding into a water balloon?"

---

--
"I give you the beautiful... the talented... the tirelessly atomic-powered...
R!
DOROTHY!
WAYNERIGHT!
--
Sucrose Octanitrate.
Proof positive that with sufficient motivation, you can make anything explode.

[Bluemage]

Sasuke grumbled, vaguely annoyed that it had left without waiting for dismissal. "It's not a pet, it's a summon... Whatever. You speak snake?"
"... It's called Parseltongue. A few wizards have the ability." If they didn't know it was Dark, though, he wasn't telling them.
"Whoa, kinda cool. Any snakes? 'cause Sasuke's big ones can speak on their own, but some of my littlest frogs can't and--"
"Naruto, he doesn't understand what you're talking about," the pink-haired girl reminded him, along with a bonk on his head. "Sasuke has -- I guess you'd call it a spell, that allows him to summon snakes. Any kind of snake, be they garden snakes or demon snakes. And the demon snakes can speak."
Harry blanched a little. "Demon?" And he could call them from anywhere, just like that? What Voldemort wouldn't give for that power...
"Ahh, not demon like you think, just -- kind of sentient magical animals?" she reassured him quickly. "Naruto can do the same thing with frogs and toads."
"Ah. And you?" he asked politely, though what he really wanted to know was where were his own friends, and why they'd left him alone with the crazy trio.
"... slugs," she admitted with a wince. "I didn't choose them!"
Slugs. Right. That was... fearsome. He understood why she didn't look happy with them.
Sasuke scowled, and interrupted her before she could babble more. "You know what snakes say?"
"... Yes?"
"Any snakes?"
"Yes, even magical snakes. ... Why?"
"There's a man, who I think speaks your language. He... said things to me. I want to know what they were." Sasuke looked away briefly, trying to remember the sounds, then started reproducing them to the best of his abilities.
"Well, you've got a bit of an accent, but so far it sounds like -- BLOODY HELL." Harry sputtered, turning a violent red.
Naruto leaned toward him, almost bouncing. "What? What? What did the old snake pervert say?"
"I am certainly NOT translating that!" Harry retorted, mortally embarrassed. "But, uhm. If he said -- I mean..." Naruto HAD called the guy the snake-pervert, though, and now Harry was uncomfortably aware of how appropriate and yet totally inadequate that was. "I would advise you to watch your rea-- YOUR BACK. Watch your back."
Shaking his head, he hurried away quickly, bemoaning the loss of his mental purity.

---

My Unitarian Jihad Name is: Brother Atom Bomb of Courteous Debate. Get yours.

I've been writing a bit.

[Bluemage]

But they were saved from answering by Gai, who appeared in a cloud of smoke. My youthful students! he proclaimed. Despite the most unyouthful noises which kept us up until early this morning, I have gathered my energy and managed to nominate you all for the chunin exams!
Three of them looked at Gai in shock, as if they couldnt process what he had just said. But Neji merely shook his head. Gai-sensei, how is it possible that youre so awake this morning?
CAPPUCCINO! he screamed.
Well, that explains that. Neji said.

--------------------
I'll snap your neck like a tomato!

---

My Unitarian Jihad Name is: Brother Atom Bomb of Courteous Debate. Get yours.

I've been writing a bit.

[ECSNorway]

Xellos was silent for a few (precious) moments before he scooted over and put an arm around Zoicite's shoulder. "You're new at this whole hero vs. villain conflict thing, aren't you?"
Zoicite frowned. "Hardly. I was there in the final assault on the Moon Palace all those millennia ago. I struck down my share of Senshi."
Xellos snorted. "That was when you were fighting against a vast,
interplanetary military juggernaut. Now you're fighting against a small group of lightly armed teenagers supported by a few talking animals. You don't stand a chance."--
"I give you the beautiful... the talented... the tirelessly atomic-powered...
R!
DOROTHY!
WAYNERIGHT!
--
Sucrose Octanitrate.
Proof positive that with sufficient motivation, you can make anything explode.

[Evil Midnight Lurker]

Link, for the love of L-sama, LINK!
--Sam
"How the hell did I do that?"

[VladimirTherin]

addventure.bast-enterpris...81997.html

[Sirrocco]

Okay... LCSNorway's was from a long story by Blackdragon on Anime Addventure. Main characters were Ranma, the guy from FMP, and Negi. The sailors were supporting cast. I honestly can't remember the name or link, though. I *am* interested in name/links to the Harry/Naruto cross, though.

[Xenoproctologist]

The HP/Naruto cross is most of one of the imaginatively-titled Harry Potter crack ficlets by the person who wrote the Naru/Saku/Sasu threesome "Teamwork" which was recced in the New Fics thread about a week ago.

[Epsilon]

I believe the fic you are looking for is Master of Orion found here on the anifics forums.
-----------------
Epsilon

[Bluemage]

Your Google-fu is strong, and your FFN-jutsu reign supreme. I salute you.
(I tried to find out where I got the stuff before I posted them, but failed, hence the subject. Thanks.)--------------------
I'll snap your neck like a tomato!

---

My Unitarian Jihad Name is: Brother Atom Bomb of Courteous Debate. Get yours.

I've been writing a bit.