New Year's Challenge 2008

[robkelk]

Bill Martin has posted the New Year's Challenges for this year. (Edit: here's the thread.)
I'm copying them here in case anyone else wants to play (as an omake entry, since the challenges are now revealed), and so I have them for easy reference. My story will be posted later in this thread, once it's written...
First, re-introducing my three-character "Team Lovely But Dangerous":
* Yomiko Readman, R.O.D. the TV (one month after end of series)
* Chisame Hasegawa, Negima manga (current continuity - chapter 198)
* Sakura Kinomoto, Card Captor Sakura (one month after end of second movie)

---

Easy Challenge - This year, the planners behind last year's New Year Con have beefed up security, but at the expense of the entertainment budget. The troupe they planned to bring in for the debut of the LAAM (the Live-Action Anime Musical) was more than they could afford, and since it's been hyped that it will be the first LAAM at NYC, you and your teammates have been requested to fill in. You may choose to do any anime that isn't already a musical (which is the majority of them).

---

And here I thought "current manga Chiu-chan" was going to be a liability, not an asset...

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Medium Challenge - You have recieved a summons to a group meeting of all the challenge entrants. The meeting shall take place in Colorado, and will consist of a whitewater rafting trip. You can choose to summon your team beforehand for the travel there, or you can wait and summon your team once there. Due to the quantum mechanics of the summon device, your success or failure will not affect or be affected by other challenge entrants failures or successes. As you and your team journey down the river, you hear an explosion, and once you and your team reach where the rocks have blocked the river, you'll journey over a waterfall where...
You and your three teammates, on a routine New Year's Challenge, get caught by the greatest time window ever known. Hastened by the rapids, it'll transport you over a thousand feet below, to the Land of the Lost (lost, lost lost), to the Land of the Lost (lost, lost lost).
You'll be living in the Rick, Will, and Holly Marshall era of the Land of the Lost in terms of foes, terrain, and puzzles to solve, but with the modern understanding of dinosaurs (a la Jurassic Park). You'll enter just after the moons have aligned, so unless you've got great puzzle solvers on your team, you're going to have to wait it out 3 years for the time-travel pylon to get you out of there. You will not be in the Land of the Lost with the Marshalls, the Porters, or any other challenge entrant.

---

I'm not a big Sid and Marty Krofft fan, but I know a bit about this series... I don't expect to "win" this one.

---

Hard Challenge - On New Year's Day, a meteor crashed to earth. This is not out of the ordinary, however what was on it is. Some interstellar spores came down with it, and these spores are highly contagious. Infected sentient lifeforms first show a glowing red hue over their entire body as a sign of infection. Next, comes an overwhelming urge to attack and maim others, but not kill them, and shows no sign of preference for the victim to be infected or uninfected. Upon uninfected individuals coming into contact with an infected individual, infection is almost instantaneous. Infected individuals retain their speech and reasoning capabilities, and have shown abilities to wait for the right time to rush a barricade. The spores themselves are extremely resistant to heat, radiation, and pressure as they've survived a star going supernova to send the meteor our direction. Alloys similar to electrum can contain the spores and shield individuals. You and your team will find out about the crash, and the crazy happenings within 12-24 hours of the event, and it will be up to you to deal with it. Partial wins to those who can contain contamination so that a cure may eventually be found. Full wins will go to those who can, after containment is done, can figure out a way to cure the infected souls.

---

Again, I don't expect to pull this one off. Containment is a snap; curing the victims isn't.
My current plan is to tackle these in the order Easy-Hard-Medium, since it looks like that's the easiest way to keep a continuity going...
-Rob Kelk
"Actually, my goal is to write neat stories. The money just makes it possible for me to write them faster and then buy neat toys."
Ryk E. Spoor, 7 November 2007
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012

[robkelk]

Prologue:
I looked around, making sure that everything was set. New winter clothes for three females, check. New books, including a special softcover, check. A spare Kero-chan plushie that had cost a small fortune on eBay, check. Fully-charged battery packs for a certain laptop PC, check. Everything was as ready as it was going to be.
Once more unto the breach, I thought as I pressed the button.
Yomiko-san was the first to arrive. She looked up, smiled, and closed the book she was reading. "Hello, Rob-san. It's good to see you again. This is for you." She gave me the book -- an English translation of Sumerigawa's Midnight Liberation Zone.
"Thank you," I said as I accepted the copy of her friend's novel. "And these are for you. I mentioned to Bob that you had been here last year, and he sent me this." I handed her the book on top of the pile -- an autographed copy of Schroeck's GURPS Shapeshifters.
She read the inscription, smiled, and said, "Please let him know I appreciate it."
Next to arrive was Chisame. "Now what? Oh, Rob-san -- thanks for getting me out of that madhouse. It's just a temporary break, though, right?" I nodded and she sighed. "Do you mind if I recharge my electronics?"
"No problem, Chisame-san... sorry, but it seems odd to call you that when you look the way you do now." Although I didn't mind at all the way she looked now, since my hormones didn't react to her in that state; there'd be no repeat of the problems I had over Hallowe'en. "Do you mind if I call you Chiu-chan?"
"Everyone else does," she replied as she plugged her cellphone's charger into the wall socket. "It's all right if you do, too."
Finally it was Sakura's turn to arrive. "What... oh, hello, everyone."
"Hello, Sakura-chan. How was trick-or-treat?"
She smiled. "We all liked the candy I was given, Rob-san." Then she noticed Chiu-chan, and bowed. "Hello, I'm Sakura Kinomoto. Who are you?"
"I'm Chisame."
Sakura looked puzzled. "But... you're my age. Chisame-kun is older than me."
"It's a magical effect. I have to hide who I am because I've been accused of a crime I didn't commit, and I have to clear my name."
(I thanked whatever gods were listening that Chiu-chan didn't go into all the messy details. If she had, we'd have been talking about that all afternoon...)
"Oh." Sakura smiled again. "Are you really that young now? Can we play together?"
Before Chisame could reply, I interrupted. "That sounds like a wonderful idea, but there's a small matter of a Challenge or three to take care of first."
All three of my visitors turned to look at me. Making sure Sakura couldn't see her, Chisame mouthed the words 'thank you.'
"Do you know what the problems are yet, Rob-san?"
"Not yet, Yomiko-san. But I expect we'll find out soon."

Part One: The Old Song-And-Dance

The phone rang.
"Speaking of finding out," I muttered as I picked up the handset. "Hello? Hey, good to hear from you. I thought you were busy with the con... Yeah, they're here -- they just showed up... You want us to what?... Sure, why not? I think I can talk them into it. When do you need us for?... That's too soon, man. You've got to give us time to prepare... Well, okay. But you owe me one. See you in a few hours." I hung up.
"Who was that?" asked Chiu-chan.
"My friend on the NewYearCon committee. Sakura-chan, you wanted to play with Chiu-chan? How about you be in a play with her instead?"
Chisame glared at me. "What's this all about?"
"They promised the convention-goers an anime musical, but can't afford to hire actors. I thought maybe we'd help them out. It isn't as if you haven't done something like this before, Chiu-chan."
"Doing cosplay and posing in front of a camera isn't the same as acting, Rob-san."
"You can do it!" Then I had a brainstorm. "Don't worry about people recognizing you -- we'll give you a wig and hang onto your glasses. You'll even have a videocamera to hide behind."
"I guess that'll be... hey, wait a minute." She looked at Sakura, then turned back to me. "You want me to play the secondary role?"
"You catch on quickly, Chiu-chan," I replied. "We don't have time to come up with a script. I trust you to be able to improvise and stay in character at the same time."
Sakura looked worried. "I don't know if I can play a character if I don't have a script, Rob-san."
"That's why I'm giving you the lead role. You get to play yourself."
Yomiko looked up from her book. "I've never acted."
"That's okay -- I want you to use your paper mastery to create a monster for Sakura to fight and change into a card at the end of the battle."
"All right." She went back to her book.
"Wait a minute," interrupted Chisame. "You said this was a musical. You don't want to hear me sing. Trust me on this."
"That's what the Song card is for, Chiu-chan. Sorry, I should encourage you to get into character by calling you 'Tomoyo-chan'," I added with a grin. "I'm assuming Sakura-chan can use the Song card, the Float card, and another card that won't actually hurt anyone at the same time."
"I think so, but why do I need to use the Float card?"
I walked back to where I had placed the presents I had picked up for everyone, and picked up the stuffed Kero-chan I had bought for her. "This plushie isn't going to move itself..."
A few hours later, Chisame was wearing a long black wig, I was hiding behind a curtain speaking into a microphone to provide Kero-chan's voice, and the audience was watching Card Captor Sakura and the White Snow, a seasonally-appropriate play depicting Sakura's capture of the Snow Card (played by Yomiko's paper).
Reviews were mixed -- the audience adored Sakura and "Tomoyo," but thought Kero-chan sounded completely wrong...
-Rob Kelk
"Actually, my goal is to write neat stories. The money just makes it possible for me to write them faster and then buy neat toys."
Ryk E. Spoor, 7 November 2007
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012

[Sirrocco]

Sooo... plague that can only be cured by distilled wisdom? It almost sounds like a particularly scary Clow card.
(images of Yomiko, in the land of the lost, desperately working on primitive paper-production techniques)
EDIT: too slow.

[robkelk]

How so? They haven't seen each other for a month or a year (depending on the character) - it's reasonable to assume they're going to chat with each other for a while...
-Rob Kelk
"Actually, my goal is to write neat stories. The money just makes it possible for me to write them faster and then buy neat toys."
Ryk E. Spoor, 7 November 2007
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012

[Evil Midnight Lurker]

...Wait a minute. That's the hate-spore plague from the third season of Transformers!
Now... LIGHT OUR DARKEST HOUR!
--Sam
"Until all are one."

[Sirrocco]

nonono. I edited my own comment because I was too slow in posting. You posted the second time before I finished, and therefore rendered one of my comments meaningless and obsolete. It had nothing to do with your post.

[robkelk]

---

That's the hate-spore plague from the third season of Transformers!

---

Yep. I'm trying to work in a "more than meets the eye" reference in the fic itself...

---

nonono. I edited my own comment because I was too slow in posting. You posted the second time before I finished, and therefore rendered one of my comments meaningless and obsolete. It had nothing to do with your post.

---

Ah. I see now - sorry about the confusion.
Edit: Oh, and the judge gave me a "pass" on the easy challenge.-Rob Kelk
"Actually, my goal is to write neat stories. The money just makes it possible for me to write them faster and then buy neat toys."
Ryk E. Spoor, 7 November 2007
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012

[robkelk]

Part Two: Side Trip

The next morning, I was awakened by the doorbell. As I put on my bathrobe, I heard Chisame-san (apparently, her youth potion had worn off overnight) answer the door. "Hello?"
"Hello, miss. Is this the Kelk residence?"
"It is..."
"Sign here, please."
A moment later, I heard the door close. "Rob-san, there's a special delivery letter for you!"
"Thanks, Chiu-chan! I'll look at over breakfast."
After grabbing a quick shower and getting dressed, I joined the ladies at the breakfast table. "A letter? What is it?" I asked Chisame.
"I'm not touching that straight line, Rob-san," she replied as she handed it to me.
"Oh, you're no fun," I complained as I opened the envelope. Inside was a letter thanking us for the wonderful performance we had staged at NewYearCon, and four tickets for an all-inclusive white-water rafting holiday. "That's odd..." I muttered, then I noticed the fake IDs for my guests and the hand-written postscript on the letter:
Rob, if you don't take the girls on this trip, you lose the medium challenge. Bill M.
Needless to say, I had a bad feeling about this. "Looks like we're going on a vacation, everyone..."
I set off for the local scout shop and bought four backpacks, then headed to a hardware store for a solar power recharger. Meanwhile, the ladies packed everything (Yomiko's books, Chisame's electronics, my spare glasses, everyone's clothes) in separate resealable plastic bags, then packed the backpacks. It may have been a while since any of us had done any wilderness camping on purpose, but I still knew the drill.
Then we headed for the airport.
Nine hours later, we were in Denver, transferring to a private plane that would take us to the white-water rafting base. Chisame had a bit of trouble with that leg of the flight, having never flown in a small aircraft before, but we helped her through the difficulties. (My pilot relative had taken me up in a four-seater more than once, Yomiko was used to flying in her oversized paper airplanes, and Sakura could Fly on her own.)
I still had a bad feeling about this. We arrived at the camp, were fitted for drysuits, and slept in the tents we'd be taking with us on the trip -- I was in a one-man tent, and the girls shared a large tent of their own.
The next morning, we headed off. Three hours into the trip, we went over a waterfall. Which we shouldn't have -- I've done enough white-water rafting in my day to know what a waterfall sounds like, and I didn't hear one before we were upon it. Damn you, Bill, was what I thought my last living thought would be...
Then I opened my eyes to discover I wasn't dead.
Neither were the others. We were lying on a riverbank, under the shade of some tropical trees of some sort. I heard Chisame moaning. "Damn it, why am I in this kind of mess again? It's not fair..."
"Yomiko-san, Rob-san is awake," whispered Sakura. "Please be quiet and stay on the ground, Rob-san. Are you all right?"
"I'll tell you in a moment, Sakura-chan," I replied as I tried moving slowly. No aches, no pains, no blurred vision when looking at the jungle, and no slurred speech -- that added up to no broken bones or concussion. My landing was a gentle one. I almost sat up, then remembered she had told me not to. "I'm fine. Does anyone know where we are?"
"We're not on Earth," answered Yomiko quietly. "When I woke up, I saw three moons in the sky." Why did that sound familiar? "And there's a Coelophysis in the nearby trees. Sakura's got an Illusion up that makes us look like rocks on the beach, so be quiet and don't move until it leaves." Why did that sound familiar?
Without quite knowing why, I said "Spot?" out loud. The Coelophysis stepped out of the undergrowth and stopped in front of me. "You can drop the illusion, Sakura-chan," I said at a normal tone of voice. "This one's practically tame. I think."
"You know where we are, Rob-san." Chisame's tone made it clear she wasn't asking.
"It's the setting of a story that was on TV when I was younger than Sakura is now," I replied. "It was called Land of the Lost. I only saw a few episodes, and I don't really remember them very well, but they were about a family that was trapped in an extradimensional realm where dinosaurs from various eras were still alive." I got an entire package of freeze-dried beef jerkey out of my pack, opened it, and tossed the meat just past Spot; he devoured it quickly.
"A family," said Chisame, almost as flatly as a computer voder.
"Oh, my. And here I thought you wanted to live with me instead of going home."
"You convinced me otherwise, Rob-san. Remember?"
"I remember." Her reaction meant I wasn't about to mention the possibility that we might have to become this world's Adam, Eve, Eve, and Eve... and with that thought, I realized I was too old to have a harem. Especially one with two underage girls. We had to find a way out of here.
"How did they get home?" asked Sakura.
"I never saw the end of the series," I answered. No point in telling her that TV shows of that vintage were designed to have no ending, so they could stay in perpetual re-runs; the family probably never got away. Except that, if Spot was wandering around alone, they obviously did get out.
Or they died here.
"Do you remember anything else about the show, Rob-san?" Yomiko-san looked like she had reached the same conclusion I had, but kept the worry out of her voice.
"Let me think... Oh, yes -- there were pylons scattered throughout the land, that maintained the environment and sometimes opened gateways out, depending on how some crystals were arrayed on the control tables inside them..." I grinned. "Chisame-san, you can hack any sort of computer, right?"
"With my digital assistants, I can."
"And those control tables are just overgrown crystal computers. This means we need to find a pylon. Sakura-chan, --"
"FLY!" And she was off.
"-- would you... never mind."
A few minutes later, Sakura was back. "There's one just over that hill, past the really big dinosaur."
"What really big... never mind," I finished as a Tyrannosaurus Rex poked its head over the hill. "Yomiko-san, a little help, please?"
She opened her backpack, pulled out some of her blank paper, and formed it into a ball larger than the T. Rex's head. Then she tossed it to one side, bouncing it off of a tree and into the dinosaur's head. It turned and charged at the tree.
We quickly slipped past it while it was distracted, although I noticed Sakura had her Shield card out. Reaching the pylon, I turned the key on its side, and we stepped inside.
"It's bigger than I expected," commented Chisame as she pulled her laptop and pactio card from her pack. She passed the latter to Sakura, who invoked it with her own magical energy. Then Chisame put her hand on the control table, thought for a few moments as vaugely pokemon-shaped balls of energy floated around her, then said, "I'm in. Where and when do you want to go?"
"We can go anywhere?"
"Only on Rob-san's Earth, Sakura-chan." Chisame looked a bit annoyed at that; knowing that the end of this year's Challenges meant she'd be going back to a world not her own explained her displeasure at not being able to return to her own home. "But we can go any time from the middle of the ninteenth century to fifteen years after we left."
I made a decision. "Back home. My home. I'll get a friend of mine who lives in Colarado to cash in the return tickets."
"When?"
"Two days before you arrived for the Challenge. I was out of the house all day that day."
She nodded, and a few minutes later a portal opened in front of us. As I was about to thank her for the good job, I heard something fly over the pylon and hover there. I didn't have to look up to know it was a skylon. "Oh, shit -- the repair bot's already here to undo Chisame's tampering. Let's move now!"
We literally dove through the portal. Chisame was the last one through, and she lost half of a heel of the drysuit she was wearing when the portal closed abuptly behind her. "That was too close!"
"Let's get changed out of these drysuits, and go get a hotel room, then we'll buy you a new pair of shoes."
"Why can't we just stay here?" asked Sakura.
"Because we weren't here when Rob-san was here tomorrow, or the day after, or the day after that," answered Yomiko. "You didn't see yourself when you arrived, did you?"
"Oh, right." Then Sakura looked thoughtful. "But I didn't see who was in the audience when we put on our play. Can I go see it? Please?"
I didn't want to risk a temporal paradox -- I had planned to stay in a hotel room with the ladies between now and the day we left for the white-water rafting trip -- but I just couldn't say no to that cherubic face... so I caged two one-day passes from my friend on the NewYearCon committee. I told him I'd be sure to repay the favour once the girls arrived, as long as he didn't say anything about me owing him one. (And I would. Or rather, I already had.)
A few hours later, as I checked into the only hotel room still available on New Year's Eve, I realized my hindbrain was doing my thinking for me again -- I had managed to get Yomiko to share a hotel room with me on New Year's Eve. At least Chisame and Sakura were along to chaperone us... and I still can't decide whether that's a good or bad thing.
-Rob Kelk
"Actually, my goal is to write neat stories. The money just makes it possible for me to write them faster and then buy neat toys."
Ryk E. Spoor, 7 November 2007
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012

[The Hunterminator]

---

Easy Challenge - This year, the planners behind last year's New Year Con have beefed up security, but at the expense of the entertainment budget. The troupe they planned to bring in for the debut of the LAAM (the Live-Action Anime Musical) was more than they could afford, and since it's been hyped that it will be the first LAAM at NYC, you and your teammates have been requested to fill in. You may choose to do any anime that isn't already a musical (which is the majority of them).

---

Aw hell. This is going to be tough for me, especially since I start now, due to not having had access to the internet until now.
I mean, my team consists of Seras Victoria (Hellsing), Sousuke Sagara (Full Metal Panic) and Teana Lanster (MGLN StrikerS).
*Starts digging around his brain for an anime that would work with that combination, mainly one with no important/expressive males, because Sousuke is probably completely unable to sing and I have pretty much no artistic sense.*
It's a shame I never watched Excel Saga beyond the episode where Hayate (I think that's her name) is found. The two females and one male that does ridiculous things with a straight face would work perfectly for that.
When's the deadline? I wonder if I could google and download a torrent in time.

[robkelk]

---

Hayate (I think that's her name)

---

Hayatt - like Excel and Ilpalazzo, she's named after a hotel chain.

---

When's the deadline? I wonder if I could google and download a torrent in time.

---

Technically, today, but Bill isn't holding anyone to that. (Which I'm happy about; I haven't finished my Hard Challenge chapter yet...)
Let him know on Usenet that you're still competing; there's been some snide comments this year about the non-participating teams from a few folks (not from most of the actual writers, though).
-Rob Kelk
"Actually, my goal is to write neat stories. The money just makes it possible for me to write them faster and then buy neat toys."
Ryk E. Spoor, 7 November 2007
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012

[Bob Schroeck]

---

Hayatt - like Excel and Ilpalazzo, she's named after a hotel chain.

---

Hyatt, actually.-- Bob
---------
I intend to be a freak for the rest of my life, and I shall baffle you with cabbages and rhinoceroses in the kitchen and incessant quotations from Now We Are Six through the mouthpiece of Lord Snooty's giant poisoned electric head. So theeeeeere...

[robkelk]

Isn't that what I said? (goes and looks) Apparently not... Oopsie.-Rob Kelk
"Actually, my goal is to write neat stories. The money just makes it possible for me to write them faster and then buy neat toys."
Ryk E. Spoor, 7 November 2007
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012

[The Hunterminator]

It's a shame I wasn't able to start writing on the first, inspiration just managed to keep me up till 2 am and I've now written the first version of the mini fic from start to finish.
I'm not too happy with it though, I spend most of it telling instead of showing and it could really use some editing. Oh well, I'll re-read it tomorrow morning and I'll see if I can make any corrections.
And if not, well damn it, the negative reviews should help refine my writing a bit.
-Edit-
Mmm... did the message I sent to the mailing list work? I usually only lurk on newsgroup and have very little experience in posting in one so I have no idea if I've made an error or not and I haven't received a reply.

[robkelk]

---

Mmm... did the message I sent to the mailing list work? I usually only lurk on newsgroup and have very little experience in posting in one so I have no idea if I've made an error or not and I haven't received a reply.

---

It's a newsgroup, not a mailing list; you have to go back and look for replies... which includes this one, that Bill posted this morning:

---

No problem, take your time. Extensions are granted when asked for. Besides, based on the last 2 years of challenges, even if the official deadline passes, I won't consider the unofficial deadline passed until there's been no fics posted for at least a week.

---

-Rob Kelk
"Actually, my goal is to write neat stories. The money just makes it possible for me to write them faster and then buy neat toys."
Ryk E. Spoor, 7 November 2007
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012

[The Hunterminator]

---

It's a newsgroup, not a mailing list; you have to go back and look for replies... which includes this one, that Bill posted this morning:

---

Sorry, slip of the tongue, I meant newsgroup.

---

No problem, take your time. Extensions are granted when asked for. Besides, based on the last 2 years of challenges, even if the official deadline passes, I won't consider the unofficial deadline passed until there's been no fics posted for at least a week.

---

Great, only a few passes through it and a lot of angsting about the quality of the writing left to do.

[robkelk]

Part Three: The First Big Loss

"Akemashite o-medetou gozaimasu!" It was once again New Year's Day, and we celebrated as well as we could, exchanging greetings and giving both Sakura and Chisame otoshidama.
Once the formalities were completed, I sat down to read my usual Internet news feeds, curious as to whether anything was different. When I saw a story on the local news' website that hadn't been there the first time through the time loop, I groaned - if I had bothered to keep up with the news instead of spending New Year's Eve with the ladies, we could have done something about the situation when the asteroid hit, instead of waiting for six hours to react. Once the army called to request our help in controlling the plague outbreak, I apologized to Sakura; she wouldn't get to watch herself on stage after all.
It was a nasty plague, judging from the symptoms described to us when the army brought us to the scene. Infected people - there were only a few dozen so far, but the plague vector was pointing at a large city - were exhibiting a red glow over their entire bodies, and those who had been infected for more than an hour were attacking other people without provocation. Worse, the plague's incubation time was nearly zero.
"That's impossible," commented Yomiko.
"I know," I replied. "But it's happening. There's more than meets the eye here... I just wish I knew what was behind this."
We were brought as close to the meteor's landing crater as the army would allow anyone to get; normal HazMat and NBC procedures had proven ineffective.
"Which means I'm useless here," sighed Yomiko. "If a normal breathing-mask filter is useless, an improvised paper filter won't help either."
We all turned to Sakura.
She didn't say anything; she just got the steely look in her eye that she does whenever she's completely serious about a battle, invoked her staff, and pulled out the Shield card.
I put my hand on her shoulder before she could invoke the card. Surprised, she looked up at me.
"Don't over-exert yourself, Sakura-chan," I told her. "You're going to have to keep the effect going for as long as possible, maybe for days or weeks."
"I understand." Sakura invoked the card, and a bubble of translucent force covered the plague site as she collapsed into my arms.
As two corpsmen helped Sakura to a cot, I turned to the others. "Now what?" After a minute had passed without anybody replying, we all knew that we were at a loss.
The next few days were brutal. Yomiko and I waited on Sakura hand-and-foot so she could devote as much of her energy as possible to keeping the Shield in place. Meanwhile, Chisame was practically starving herself while organizing all of the data the doctors were collecting and running computer searches for any medical information that was even tangentally connected to the plague. She didn't find very much.
Five days in, Chisame gave us our first good news. By hacking into the World Community Grid and using their distributed network to analyze the collected data, she'd discovered an electrum alloy would block the spread of the plague. It took three days, and most of the Mint's stockpiles of gold and silver, to coat a containment building's walls with the required alloy. Once that was done and drywall was placed over the electrum to prevent damage to it, Sakura extended the Shield to include the building and Yomiko used some paper to herd all of the victims into it.
Then the army asked me whether the Shield would contain a fuel-air explosion.
"I doubt it," was my reply. "But even if it could, would that do anything? The plague arrived on a meteorite, so it survived re-entry. I doubt that a FAE would be hot enough to destroy it."
The captain in charge of the containment force used a few words that I won't report in a family publication, then he got his frustration under control. "Well, then what can we do about the contaminated area?"
"Extreme cold might immobilize the virus," I guessed. "Sakura has the ability to Freeze things; I just hope she has enough life force to maintain both a Freeze and a Shield at the same time."
"Let me help," volunteered Chisame. "Sakura-chan invoked my pactio before she raised the Shield because I thought I might need to use it. And I did. But one of the things a pactio does is share energy between the two people involved. If she draws on my life force, she might have enough."
"Are you sure you want to do this, Chisame-san?"
"I'm sure, Rob-san. You don't have any special abilities, but you're still trying to help out any way you can. How can I do any less?"
Oh, dear; I'd shamed her into helping. But I couldn't do anything about that except fail to notice it. "Don't kill yourself, Chiu-chan."
"I won't," she answered, just before giving me a quick kiss on the cheek. Then she sat beside Sakura and slumped over. An hour later, the army was using remote-controlled bulldozers to scrape near-absolute-zero frozen soil off of the contaminated zone and stockpiling it in the containment building.
Once that was finished, Sakura shrunk the Shield until it was completely inside the containment building, then we closed and locked the doors. Only then did she let the Shield drop.
"We're done for today," I told the army. "They're exhausted." Both Sakura and Chisame were fast asleep.
The next day, Chisame formalized her hack of the World Community Grid to make the plague research an official project. That was all we could do; none of us had any healing abilities, or medical knowledge beyond first aid.

Epilogue

We returned home in silence. With the exception of Yomiko, none of us were used to not being able to complete a mission we'd been given, and the experience wasn't pleasant. And Yomiko was quiet at the best of times.
"Now what?" asked Chisame.
"Now..." I hesitated. "Now you go back to where you came from. I'm sorry."
"I understand," she sighed as she swallowed one of her youth-potion pills. "I want to go home, but Negi-sensei and the others might need me to do their thinking for them."
"Take this pack, at least." I offered her the backpack she'd used during the rafting trip, already packed with the spare battery packs for her laptop PC, the solar power charger, some tinned food, and a can opener. "It might come in handy."
She smiled. (Once again, I reminded myself that she's underage.) "Thanks," she replied as she and the pack faded out of existence.
I turned to Sakura. "Do you think Kero-chan would like to see how famous he is here?" I asked as I passed the Kero-chan plushie to her.
"Is this for him?"
"It's for you, but I hope you'll share it with him," I replied. "Thank you for all the hard work," I added as she and the plushie disappeared.
That left Yomiko. "I don't suppose I could convince you to stay...?"
She actually thought about it. "No," she finally answered, "or at least, not yet." She gestured to the pile of books. "But if you hang onto those for me, I'll read them next time..." And then she faded away.
For a moment, I felt lonely. Then I remembered that there was a whole real world outside my front door...

---

The World Community Grid is a real organization, which uses software similiar to that of SETI@Home to research medical and climate problems. I think trying to cure cancer, AIDS, hepatitis C, West Nile encephalitis, and Yellow fever is somewhat more worthwhile than looking for extraterrestrial life that we couldn't talk with even if we did find it...
-Rob Kelk
"Actually, my goal is to write neat stories. The money just makes it possible for me to write them faster and then buy neat toys."
Ryk E. Spoor, 7 November 2007
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012

[The Hunterminator]

I sent the message, and I was not at all confident in my chances. But the reply was surprisingly positive and I passed.
*does a little dance*
Here is what I sent and the reply to it.
------
> Well, there I was, sitting in front of an odd electronic device and the clock on the wall behind, glancing from one to the other and wondering if the challenge would really occur as advertised.
>
> I mean, sure, Id read quite a few testimonies, and entertained the thought of entering as well many time, but a part of me doubted it was possible for anime characters to suddenly enter the... real world I guess. My real world at least.
>
> I glanced at the clock and stifled a yawn. Nope, the clock hadnt suddenly jumped to midnight, though it was getting closer. I should probably have slept, but my mind kept swirling with a mental war between rationality and my gut feeling that something WAS going to happen.
>
> A beep startled my attention back to the device and I saw that it had lit up. A glance confirmed that it was now midnight and it was with a bit of trepidation that I stood up.
>
> With an odd noise, Id say a mix between a bloop and a loud rush of air, my small apartment suddenly got more crowded.
>
> My mind had barely the time to recognise the three new additions to my abode before Sousuke, Teana and Seras jumped away from myself and each other, pulling out their respective weapons as they dove for cover.
>
> Three pairs of eyes then snapped to me when it became apparent that I was not going to do the same and I hurriedly lifted my hands to a non threatening half up position and hurriedly shouted, I can explain!
>
> I took a moment to compose myself and hurriedly blurted out, Im taking part in a challenge. I had to designate a team of three people from another universe to accomplish a task and the three of you are those Ive chosen. Once the task is done, the three of you will be sent back home to wherever and whenever you were before you got here.
>
> The three looked at me with apparent disbelief and I chose to attempt to prove my claim. I pointed to Teana, Teana Lanster is a mage.
>
> My hand turned to Seras, Seras Victoria is a vampire.
>
> I then indicated Sousuke, Sousuke Sagara is an Arm Slave pilot.
>
> I then swung my arm to indicate all of them, All three of you are something that exists only in your respective universes, but not in each others, or mine for that matter.
>
> ***
>
> It took more convincing before they, Sousuke in particular, stopped being too openly distrustful to work with me. Seras was the first, probably helped by the fact that neither of the others seemed to believe my claims that she was a vampire, which meant that it was likely that neither of them could cause her any lasting harm.
>
> With her help, I eventually managed to get the others to put their weapons away and talk with each other. Luckily, I had been right in thinking that all three of them could speak English when I had chosen them and so there was no language barrier to complicate things.
>
> Sousuke was the most disbelieving of the three regarding my claims, but the other two could demonstrate the truth of my statements regarding them fairly easily. Once it was proven that at least most of my statements were true, Sousuke seemed to decide to trust me for the time being.
>
> He was quick to question me regarding the challenge, and I realised that I had no idea of what it was yet. I looked in the challenge devices direction and noticed an envelope propped against the side of it.
>
> I looked within it and found plane tickets and a letter. After reading the latter, I groaned in dismay and handed it to a visibly curious Seras. There I was, having carefully picket a team that could fight, sneak and brute force through very varied challenges, and I ended up with one that neatly avoided everything anyone in the team could easily do.
>
> I sat there, pondering the puzzle before me for quite a while. The main problem I could see for the team was that we had no good male actors. I could play minor roles, but anything beyond that was beyond me. And Sousuke? He could probably easily remember any text you gave him, but he would probably not be able to put much emotion in his role.
>
> Really, the only kind of role I could see for him was a character that is pretty much always emotionless. And it was that thought that allowed me to find what I decided was probably the best role. I glanced at Seras and Teana, and winced a bit. I really wasnt sure that either of them would be great for their roles, but I could think of nothing else.
>
> I stood up and looked at the three, Has any of you ever heard of Excel Saga?
>
> ***
>
> According to the letter, I had two weeks before the musical. Seras and Teana both agreed that it was not enough for any kind of rehearsed performance beyond the basics and we all decided that we had no choice but to improvise.
>
> I quickly downloaded the anime series and left the three future actors to get better acquainted with their roles while I began the ordeal of actually writing the plot. It swiftly became apparent that I would not be able to convincingly follow the animes plot for any length of time. So I decided to satirize the manga to anime conversion by intentionally differing from the source material.
>
> The result was pretty much guaranteed to get a lot of criticism, but Id at least have fun writing it. Teana quickly improvised herself proofreader, often spotting inaccuracies and excessive conflicts with the source material that completely escaped me.
>
> And finally, after much work, we had what I considered a fairly good plot for musical, but no actual music. I contacted the cons planners and, for lack of a better word, strong-armed them into providing the costumes, equipment and someone with a musical ear to help us.
>
> If I cant pull it off, youre the ones who are going to look stupid. worked surprisingly well.
>
> The actual flight went fairly well. I was terrified when I learnt that Sousuke intended to bring his weapons along, but he took care of the problem himself and, to be perfectly honest, Im not sure I want to know how he managed it.
>
> ***
>
> With a lot of brainstorming with pretty much everyone I could recruit, Seras managed to make a few fairly good and, more importantly, simple songs and, with a lot of practice, Seras, Teana and Sousuke learnt them. Sousukes deadpanned rendition of Il Palazzos long list of hobbies, for example, was very amusing.
>
> ***
>
> (Author Note: Most of the following dialogue is inspired by the Quack Experimental Anime FanSub. Sorry about this.)
>
> The world is corrupt. Sousuke deadpanned, Manga books and Anime, which are circulated in exceedingly large quantities across the world are now being converted to Live-Action Anime Musicals. The world that ACROSS will build has no need of such things! Therefore, in anticipation of that day, those who create this material must be liquidated. This is you first target.
>
> I showed myself behind the fake monitor dominating the wall.
>
> Seras gleefully shouted, Woohoo! Liquidate! I, Excel, your humble servant, if it is your command, will blindingly liquidate this horrible person and all others be they author, musician or actors! This I swear as your always faithful servant Excel, through fire, water and wind, as an officer of ACROSS and a young maiden in love with Il Palazzo-Sama, I shall succeed.
>
> Teana indicated that she agreed with most of what Seras said by nodding and dying.
>
> ***
>
> Not everyone agreed, but most people liked the musical, although many mentioned that the plot was just an obviously mangled rehashing of bits and pieces of several of the first episodes. For the most part, it was declared that the actors performance was very good, and many people mentioned that whoever played Il Palazzo never slipped out of character.
>
> That evening, the three dimensionally displaced people and I got together for a quick goodbye and, at midnight, they vanished.
>
> *****
>
> Author Notes: Well, Ive spent a few days re-reading the whole fic several times and I cant find any more obvious errors. But damn, most of the time spent writing this has been spent with me having an idea in my head but being unable to write it down in a satisfactory way.
>
> Im just not able to feel satisfied with the result, Im not sure why. Actually, I do, I read enough to know what good writing looks like and this is not it.
>
> Oh well, I had fun writing it at least and the challenge of finding something that that team could do was amusing.

And surprisingly, you did what I thought was highly improbable. While you may not be satisfied with it, I most assuredly am. Above average fic for its length, and you most certainly pass. Congratulations.