Crossovers That Should Not Be, Take 2

[Rieverre]

Gunslinger Girl Days - 'nuff said.
Otaku no Video Girl - no. Just no.
Judge Vandread - *sweatdrop* Mr. Alien? *kablammo*
Dual! Parallel Experiments Lain - the hurting, oh, the hurting!
'Braid' - Earth and the Colonies are safe, the conflicts are over, and Duo Maxwell doesn't really know what to do with himself and this newfangled 'peace' thing. Boobytrapping Heero's breakfast cereal isn't as funny as it used to be, in any case. That is, until a weird girl named Kuchiki Rukia walks through his wall. Is the Soul Society ready for the Real Deal Shinigami?
speaking of which, I've recently gone through a few volumes of 'Bleach' ... does anyone else get the impression of 'it's Naruto, only with more boobs'?
Full Metal Alchemist Panic - after the whole Kaname Chidori debacle, Melissa Mao gets assigned to her own suspected 'Whispered'. A weird runt going by 'Edward Elric' who doesn't seem to be in any government database and is working on some revolutionary new rocket design?
Rob Roy Mustang - the story of a womanizing pyromaniac Scotsman in the Wild West.
-Griever
When tact is required, use brute force. When force is required, use greater force.
When the greatest force is required, use your head. Surprise is everything. - The Book of Cataclysm

[Evil Midnight Lurker]

Full Metal Skin Panic - Kaname is trapped in a malfunctioning Arm Slave and Sagara is convinced she's really a spy.
--Sam
"A cow just ate them both."

[Bob Schroeck]

---

Gunslinger Girl Days - 'nuff said.

---

Written by Kenko? "Ranma Saotome thought he had it hard enough when his mother decided he had to learn what is was like to be a woman full time. But that was nothing compared to the brainwashing and firearms lessons..."

---

Dual! Parallel Experiments Lain - the hurting, oh, the hurting!

---

Reminds me of an "only a title" idea I had to fuse Evangelion with Lain -- Parallel Experiments Rei.

---

Rob Roy Mustang - the story of a womanizing pyromaniac Scotsman in the Wild West.

---

I don't even know what anime this is referencing and I'm on the floor with laughter...
-- Bob
---------
...The President is on the line
As ninety-nine crab rangoons go by...

[Bluemage]

"Rob Roy" is a movie about a reluctant Scottish bandit, stealing to repay a 'debt' which, through someunderhanded events, he owes to a jerk of a noble.
Roy Mustang is, of course, a character from Full Metal Alchemist, and where the 'pyromaniac' comes from.
I don't know about the 'Wild West' part of this, though...

---

My Unitarian Jihad Name is: Brother Atom Bomb of Courteous Debate. Get yours.

I've been writing a bit.

[Evil Midnight Lurker]

The Dark Tower: The Trigunslinger
"The man in red fled across the desert, and the insurance girls followed."
V for the Village
The latest inhabitant of Portmeirion poses an unexpected problem for the Number Twos: they can't get him to leave.
Battlestar Galactus
The mission: seek out the legendary lost colony of Earth... and eat it.
ETA: Sailor V for Vendetta
"People should not be afraid of their Neo-Queens. Neo-Queens should be afraid of their people."
"The destruction of Tokyo Tower has nothing to do with the terrorist known as Codename wa Sailor V. It was a perfectly ordinary Gojira attack."
--Sam
"I've been the janitor to the Apocalypse for six long months, Arthur -- and it's a-comin' this way!"

[Sirrocco]

V is for Van Helsing
"The people should not be afraid of monsters. Monsters should be afraid of the people."

[Bob Schroeck]

"Anais Ninja -- Really Sexy no Jutsu"
-- Bob
---------
...The President is on the line
As ninety-nine crab rangoons go by...

[Rieverre]

---

ETA: Sailor V for Vendetta
"People should not be afraid of their Neo-Queens. Neo-Queens should be afraid of their people."
"The destruction of Tokyo Tower has nothing to do with the terrorist known as Codename wa Sailor V. It was a perfectly ordinary Gojira attack."

---

*shatters*
Okay, then. How about

---

---

You could say I had an unusual childhood.
I've never had any dreams or ambitions.
I don't aspire to any career or profession in the future.
I don't see myself as unusually talented. I merely learned what I was taught. I didn't even realize it wasn't normal for a person to be fluid in four languages and be able to make himself understood in a number of others until I was sent to attend school.
So far, in the fourteen years that I've been alive, things ran their course as they were wont to, and I don't see this changing anytime in the future.
I guess I could call myself lucky, though.
Even after mother, and then father, went away my guardians cared about me a lot, and taught me a lot. Mostly about not being indifferent.
I don't think I would have liked myself very much if it hadn't been for them, as dysfunctional a family unit as we were.
So when father, who hadn't died but really had just walked away - something I've since learned to deal with - called for me, I went.
And ... despite misgivings, I could not stand aside.
I had been brought up to be a good man. In broad strokes, at least. And I would not be indifferent.
Had he counted on that?
Probably.
Now I sit here, tense, feeling both dread and anticipation ... and the proverbial weight on my shoulders.
And something springs to mind, in the here and now.
It just sort of _clicks_, though I've never said the words before. I knew them, but I was told not to say them unless and until I felt justified.
***
"And shepherds we shall be,
for Thee my Lord for Thee,"
"Is he ... praying?" she asked. She'd never had much faith in anything, much less God, but for some reason this struck a chord with her.
"Power hath descended forth from Thy hand,
that our feet may swiftly carry out Thy command,"

"We don't have _time_ for this!" her old friend exclaimed, irritated.
"so we shall flow a river forth unto Thee,
and teeming with souls shall it ever be. "
"Flux ratio ... decreasing? Sempai, we've got a five, no, ten point increase across the board," her friend's assistant said, blinking.
"In Nomine Patris, Et Filii, Et Spiritus Sancti."
"As fascinating as that is, we _still_ don't have time for this," the blond looked torn, though another shudder running through the stronghold's superstructure snapped her out of it. "Misato!"
"I'm ready."
"Alright, Shinji! Evangelion Unit-01, launch!" Katsuragi Misato commanded.

---

NGE: Saint Over Angels
An Evangelion/Boondock Saints crossover

---

---

Wot, it _is_ my favorite movie after all. And the concept of Connor&Murph raising Shinji is amusing. Admit it.
-Griever
When tact is required, use brute force. When force is required, use greater force.
When the greatest force is required, use your head. Surprise is everything. - The Book of Cataclysm

[HoagieOfDoom]

*********
Touched By His Noodly Appendage
www.venganza.org

[Rieverre]

continued, because otherwise I'll be snickering to myself for the rest of the damn week and change ...

---

I suppose it's odd.
I've never really believed that any particular faith had the right of it.
Rather, I believed in the fundamentals of good and evil.
I built myself on those, despite realizing that they were as fragile as anything else in this world.
And I did not fear evil men.
I feared the indifference of good men.
I feared that I would become indifferent.
***
The bathroom door flew open, two bodies tumbling past it and inside. The smaller one rolled, pulling the larger one behind, over, letting go ...
Suzuhara Touji smacked back-first into the tiled floor with a *thud* and the *oomph* of escaping breath, looking around dazedly ...
A pair of wiry arms hauled him up with some, though not much, difficulty, and proceeded to yank him in one direction.
He was still too dazed to really understand what was happening when his forehead clonked, none too softly but not really hard either, into something cool and white.
The ice cold water coming from the faucet immediately above the sink he'd been dragged to worked wonders to return him to a semblance of coherence.
"... nae? That's bollocks, that is. Wot, did ye' want me to sit on me arse and twiddle me thumbs whilst the city and likely more were being turned tae dust. Aye, so 't weren't perfect, but wake ye' up ta life! 'Tis because of it that ye still 'ave one!"
Touji scrambled loose as soon as the smaller boy's grip slackened somewhat, his head and upper body soaked through to the bone, looking at Shinji as if he'd grown a second head.
"What? D'ye need another?!" Shinji threw his hands into the air and took a step forward.
"Ano ... Ikari-san?" squeaked a voice from the direction of the door. Shinji paused. Looked.
Mousey girl, freckles, pretty cute however you looked at her. 'Course, also looking fairly anxious.
"Aye?" alright, even he could tell that there was something wrong.
"Suzuhara-kun's English isn't very good," the girl offered timidly.
Shinji blinked. Slackened.
Oh. Right. He'd been so angry at the jock he'd slipped into the sort of level of rant he'd had when Connor-aniki had last decided to teach him the values of having rope on hand.

---

-Griever
When tact is required, use brute force. When force is required, use greater force.
When the greatest force is required, use your head. Surprise is everything. - The Book of Cataclysm

[aeroprime]

You, my friend, are screw-ball of the highest order. Not that thats a bad thing mind you.
-aeroprime
-----------------
"I did NOT escape! They gave me a day pass."

[kestrel404]

::dies laughing::
OK, the NGE/Boondock Saints crossover needs to be excommunicated from this thread: It absolutely SHOULD BE! Looks like you've got another project, Griever.
"Not this again!" Minerva said. "Albus, it was You-Know-Who, not you, who marked Harry as his equal. There is no possible way that the prophecy could be talking about you!" - Harry Potter and the Method of Rationality, Chapter 84

[Sweno]

---

OK, the NGE/Boondock Saints crossover needs to be excommunicated from this thread: It absolutely SHOULD BE! Looks like you've got another project, Griever.

---

motion seconded!-Terry
------
"Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away." - Antoine de Saint Exupery
"Luge strategy? Lie flat and try not to die." - Carmen Boyle (Olympic Luge Gold Medal winner - 1996)
Mary Sue's theme music
-Terry
-----
"so listen up boy, or pornography starring your mother will be the second worst thing to happen to you today"
TF2: Spy

[Disruptor]

The H.R Puff'n'stuff/ Barney the Dinosaur singalong show.
--------------------
Tom Mathews aka Disruptor
--------------------
Tom Mathews aka Disruptor

[Rieverre]

... maybe ... *shrug*
I'll get back to it one of these days, though, just because it's garnered interest, here's a little finisher for you:

---

The tribunal was not running smoothly. There really hadn't been any doubt that this would be the case, even as much as a week before the event.
Yes, to the general public NERV were heroes. Carefully edited material leaked to the press painted them as defenders of humanity, which was what they were in a way. They had, after all, served their purpose.
The existence of a nebulous, shadowy group running things from behind the scenes and _wanting_ to cause Third Impact and covertly backing NERV had seemed a little too convenient ...
Ryoji Kaiji frowned, taking a drag of his cigarette and blatantly ignoring the 'no smoking' signs near the entrance to the courtroom. Not that he was the focus of attention, or even the focus of _any_ attention.
That was reserved for the farce playing out in the center of said room.
Of course there had been evidence, of course there had been witnesses ... but due to several strange twists of fate the witnesses slowly became less and less, the evidence was deemed circumstantial, and the blame was slowly but surely being shifted towards other places and other _people_.
Keel Lorenz didn't look smug. In fact, he didn't look any different than usual. Stone cold and absolutely assured ...
Which was when the lights went out, and the walls shook with deafening thunder.
Ryoji puffed on his cigarette, the ember the only small speck of light amidst the darkness of the windowless closed courtroom.
He put it out against the wall he'd been leaning on.
The lights flickered on.
What guards, decorative or otherwise, had been posted around the room were down, limbs spread haphazardly, weapons absent.
Few noticed that tidbit.
Attention had been riveted by the four obviously armed figures who'd seemingly materialized in front of the tribunal. Not unfamiliar figures, either, since three of them had been deemed 'national heroes' suspiciously swifty after the debacle that led to this event.
They also hadn't been allowed as witnesses, being cited as currently working through trauma as a result of the most recent and, at the time, thought to be final battle.
"Now you will receive us."
Kaji had to admit, the younger Ikari had actually managed to surpass his father in sheer creepiness factor when he was as focused as this.
The Beretta 93R in his right hand, muzzle sweeping across the judges did wonders to emphasize his point, though.
"We do not ask for your poor, or your hungry."
Ryoji winced. He knew that tone, and considering that Katsuragi was swinging what looked like an auto-shotgun around, he felt justified in sitting his ass down on the floor and hoping as hell she wouldn't just unload it into the onlookers she was covering.
"We do not want your tired and sick."
Alright, he'd knows Ibuki was ambidextrous. He'd also known, from going through her file, that she was checked out on the standard self defense course NERV ran in the Geo-Front. He'd heard rumors, but hadn't paid them much heed ... maybe he should have. After all, Gendo had hardly managed to shoot _himself_ in the back of the head, now had he?
"It is your corrupt we claim."
Shinji's weapon had completed its sweep, ending up centered on one particular individual who Kaji knew had been the Monolith responsible for Germany.
"It is your evil that will be sought by us."
He knew from experience just what sort of damage that sort of weapon could do, and was glad Katsuragi hadn't gone entirely loco, since she wasn't aiming anywhere in the direction of the now panicking onloonkers. Of course, SEELE America now had to deal with the sensation of a muzzle of significant caliber pressed dead center against his forehead.
"With every breath, we shall hunt them down."
Two flat black Glocks covering the opposite end of the room and two more Committee members didn't as much as shake when Ibuki took her cue and spoke her piece.
"Each day we will spill their blood, 'til it rains down from the skies."
'England' had had enough, and shifted ... the click was almost deafening in the otherwise damn near tomb-like silence of the chamber.
Kaji had just recalled Shinji had been ambidextrous as well, and the second 93R appearing in his other hand, to stop the errant with its very presence and unwavering intent confirmed it.
"Do not kill! Do not rape! Do not steal! These are principles which every man of every faith can embrace!"
The American member's chair tipped back, landing the man on the hard tiled floor ... he wasn't noticing much past the muzzle still pointed at him by the speaking purple haired woman, though.
"These are not polite suggestions! These are codes of behavior, and those of you that ignore them will pay the dearest cost!"
_All_ those present flinched at the intensity of Ibuki's voice.
Kaji was possibly the only one to put things together, there and then. It confirmed his theory.
The elder Ikari had been executed - there really was no other term for how things had been done - the day immediately after Ritsuko Akagi's hospitalization.
"There are varying degrees of evil. We urge you lesser forms of filth, not to push the bounds and cross over, in to true corruption, into our domain."
'Oh boy,' Kaji's eyes went wide as Misato's voice went close to a whisper and _still_ managed to sound as if she were right there in front of him. 'This is going to be messy.'
"For if you do, one day you will look behind you and you will see we four, and on that day you will reap it!"
Ikari's gaze swept the gathering a single time, his eyes seemingly holding every other pair with their laser-like intensity for a moment before moving on. His aim never as much as wavered.
"And we will send you to whatever god you wish," the hitherto silent and still Ayanami Rei said, her voice flat. The single, _massive_ handcannon casually held in one hand rising easily, with a motion as free as pointing her index figer, straight at Keel.
"In nomine Patris."
"Et Filii."
"Et Spiritus Sancti."
Thunder rolled.

---

Dialogue and concept shamelessly ripped from the courtroom scene of Boondock Saints.
Written solely because I wanted Rei to use that line.
I like Maya. Hence, she gets a part.
I don't like canon-Asuka much. Hence the absence.
My version of Shinji likes Italian guns. Deal with it.
Rei + Cassul = made out of w1n.
---
*ahem*, now that that's over and done with for the moment (puts up a *send coffee* sign), here's a Narutofic thought - what if Orochimaru was a bigger hack than initially thought and did steal almost _everything_ he knew ...

---

Jiraya stopped, staring.
Gamabunta, whose head he was riding on, did as well.
He'd been a shinobi for as long as he could remember, and had seen some things that went right past amazing and into ludicrous on a fairly regular basis.
... this, though, was not something he'd ever though he'd see.
For that matter, it wasn't something _any_ of the battling nin around him had thought they'd ever see either.
Konoha, Suna and Oto-nin just stopped and _stared_ incredulously ...
***
Orochimaru laughed as the Kusanagi was sheathed in Sandaime's flesh, point erupting from the back of his neck even as the hilt was rammed into the old man's stomach.
"I must admit, sensei," the snake-sannin mockingly adressed the dying Hokage, "I would have expected you to put up more of a fight."
There was no answer. The Third's lifeless body went flying, blood spraying from the killing wound, as his former student turned renegade kicked it free from his sword's blade.
The shield fell, and he was met with his bodyguards and a pleasant surprise - Uchiha Sasuke's limp but still living body being hauled towards him by Sakon.
Konoha nin bodies littered the arena and stands, and the Hidden Village was burning.
Orochimaru kept laughing ...
... when a voice from behind him cut in.
"Just one minute."
And suddenly, he was no longer standing atop one of the rooftops of the arena, and the Hokage was no longer lying in an ever expanding puddle of blood a ways off, and he was _in the middle_ of the Arena somehow with ...
He no longer needed Seals to do something as simple as Kawarimi, and his speed was such that he hardly ever required use of that particular basic skill anymore.
It didn't matter, one way or the other, since the moment reflex action started to kick in upon realization just how deep a shitpile he'd landed in his chest erupted in a shower of blood, bone, and gore.
He looked down to see a hand having torn through his body with what he knew had been almost casual ease.
***
Jiraya looked at the man who'd just ripped his former teammate apart with about as much trouble as one commonly has with squashing cockroaches, and suddenly realized just _why_ Manda was last seen heading away from the Leaf at speed, whimpering like a whipped puppy.
Certainly, the spike of killing intent when the blow had been deal had been stronger than almost anything short of a Bijuu could manage, and the spectre of a serpent winding its way around the man's body had been more than genjutsu.
Beside him, a very much alive Sandaime Hokage stood, looking on with ... recognition?
"So, who's the urchin-head down there, sensei?" the toad-sannin asked after a moment.

---

Eye of the Serpent - a Naruto/Getbackers fusion featuring Mido Ban - the Jagan no Shinobi - and his best friend, Amano Ginji - formerly the one known as the Raitei of Kumogakure - getting revenge on snake-teme for murdering Ban's grandmother and then taking over Otogakure.
-Griever

ETA:tweaking.
When tact is required, use brute force. When force is required, use greater force.
When the greatest force is required, use your head. Surprise is everything. - The Book of Cataclysm

[CattyNebulart]

Griever you wirte way to interesting teasers (Well not the latest naruto one. but everything else). Now could you please expand them into full stories faster? Please?
and was glar Katsuragi hadn't gone entirely loco
glar -> glad
E: "Did they... did they just endorse the combination of the JSDF and US Army by showing them as two lesbian lolicons moving in together and holding hands and talking about how 'intimate' they were?"
B: "Have you forgotten so soon? They're phasing out Don't Ask, Don't Tell."

[Rieverre]

---

Now could you please expand them into full stories faster? Please?

---

What did Nate call it once ... oh, yeah.
'Difficulties with following through.'
Or maybe I just need to up my coffee intake.

---

glar -> glad

---

Thanks. Editsu in progress.
-Griever
When tact is required, use brute force. When force is required, use greater force.
When the greatest force is required, use your head. Surprise is everything. - The Book of Cataclysm

[WengFook]

I have no clue what boondocks saints is about but I'm definitely googling it now :O
as for Eye of the serpent.. why would Ban give Orochimaru a pleasant dream before he killed him? Giving enemies bad hallucinations seem more in line with what i've read of Getbackers and Ban _______________________________
We are the swords in the darkness, the watchers on the walls. The fire that burns against the cold, the light that brings the dawn. The horn that wakes the sleepers. The shield that guards the realms of men. -The Brothers Black
_________________________________
Take Your Candle, Go Light Your World.

[HoagieOfDoom]

Fate/Stay Night and...
:O*********
Touched By His Noodly Appendage
www.venganza.org

[WengFook]

Hoagie... do not want. >_<
but what about Vin Diesel as a servant eh? or even Riddick as a servant :O that would be... interesting
_______________________________
We are the swords in the darkness, the watchers on the walls. The fire that burns against the cold, the light that brings the dawn. The horn that wakes the sleepers. The shield that guards the realms of men. -The Brothers Black
_________________________________
Take Your Candle, Go Light Your World.

[Evil Midnight Lurker]

I'd rather have Patton on my side, if we're talking reasonably real people.
--Sam
"I'm very mad now. I may even be tingling."

[Epsilon]

---

I'd rather have Patton on my side, if we're talking reasonably real people.

---

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
---------------------
Epsilon

[Rieverre]

*demented giggle* Getting into the spirit of the previous couple of posts, I suggest ...
Walker: Rescue Ranger
-Griever
When tact is required, use brute force. When force is required, use greater force.
When the greatest force is required, use your head. Surprise is everything. - The Book of Cataclysm

[Valles]

You are all sick, sick little moo-cows.

===============================================
"Puripuri puripuri... Bang!"

[Bob Schroeck]

This is actually a seed file of mine, waiting until I have brainshare to actually work on it, but it's just weird enough to qualify.


"Death," thought the immortal spirit of Iris, vicomtesse de
Chateaubriand, "is terribly inconvenient."

...

WE GIVE YOU A CHOICE, IRIS DE CHATEAUBRIAND.

"What kind of choice?"

YOU MAY CONTINUE ONWARD TO YOUR DESERVED REST IN THAT WHICH
COMES AFTER...

"Or...?"

...OR YOU MAY GO TO A WORLD IN GREATER DANGER THAN YOUR OWN,
AND HELP ANOTHER BAND OF CHAMPIONS IN THEIR BATTLE AGAINST
THE DARKNESS.

...


THE POWERS WHICH GOVERN THAT WORLD MAY NOT APPRECIATE YOUR
INTERFERENCE.

"Pfft!"  If she'd had a hand to wave dismissively, Iris would
have done so.  "So why are you sending me there?"

WE ARE NOT...

"Yes, yes, I know, you're not 'sending' me there, you're just
letting me go if I want to."  Iris paused, and gathered every bit
of willpower and determination and poured it into one word.
"*Why?*"

...


As the magic flowed through her, Willow trembled with its purity.
For a moment -- only a moment -- she doubted her right to touch
power of this ... goodness.  A moment's doubt was all it took,
though, and her control over the mystical forces she channelled
began to waver.

But before they could slip loose and run wild, Willow heard a
high-pitched giggle and felt a Presence nearby.  "Careful!" a
girlish voice whispered inside her mind as the flows of power
inexplicably stabilized.  "That's a *lot* of spirit energy there,
and you almost lost hold of it."

"Who... what...?" Willow breathed, risking only the slightest
fraction of her engrossed attention.

"Call me Iris," the girl's voice said.  "I'm... I'm here to
help.  Oh my, you *are* terribly powerful, aren't you?"

"That's good, right?" Willow whispered.

"Oh, yes, very good," Iris replied.  "Because we're going to need
a *lot* of power to give your friends even more of an edge than
you just gave them."

...

What could only be Faith's robot-thing turned and scanned Buffy.
"Purple and pink, B?" crackled across the radio.

"They're my favorite colors," Buffy hmphed defensively, before
studying the armor in front of her.  "Gloss black with silver
rivets?"

Faith laughed.  "Ya gotta admit, it's *definitely* my style."


                        SLAYER TAISEN

                              by

                      Robert M. Schroeck

-- Bob
---------
...The President is on the line
As ninety-nine crab rangoons go by...