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Suggestion/Idea For Chap 15 + Comments
Suggestion/Idea For Chap 15 + Comments
#1
Dear Robert,
Greetings,
Thanks for sharing your story, Drunkard's Walk II, with the world. I only just discovered it and an awaiting chapter 15 eagerly.
I know somewhere you mentioned that chapter 15 is going to be the last chapter of the story before Doug moves on to the next universe. But I think I've spotted a minor error/problem in that plan (other than being captured by Genom that is).
In chapter 14, at one point it says:
"... He had a
lot more mental agility than he used to possess, plus a strange
set of behavioral urges that we later identified as a rudimentary
conscience."
That statement and several others in the story gave me the impression that there would be more contact on many occasions between Doug and Kilroy. But then I might just be reading it wrong.
Anyway, Good story overall.
I do have a suggestion for you though, that you are completely free to ignore or use at your discretion. As a going-away present, Doug trigger's a latent/dormant meta-gift in Lisa. The ground work is already there. As she did do things with the temporary power that Doug gave her that were suppose to be impossible. And a latent mage/meta-gift would also explain why it was very easy for her to accept Doug, being unconsciously drawn to him by the destiny/fates, how she managed to track down the Knight Sabres, and get the blessing from Hexe. One particular song that springs to mind that could trigger the change is "Fighter" by Christina Aguilera, in particular the chorus, the lyrics are below. The abilities Lisa could get could be like 'Sailor Loon', or something completely different like being able to be near invisible (stealth), fast, agile, and boosted resilience to knocks/blows/injuries.
There is that huge mana node under Megatokyo after all. Surely it's about time it got used. I wouldn't be surprised if it somehow was slowly influencing certain people, manipulating them very subtly, a nudge here and there, to produce some mages to actually use it. One particular well researched story that I have read stated that large amounts of magic when left unused of significant periods of time, tend to become sentient and start influencing events around then to suit their own ends.
Anyway, I've got to go now. Please keep up the good work
Regards,
Micro Hue.
----
Christina Aguilera - Fighter
After all you put me through
You'd think I'd despise you
But in the end I want to thank you
Because you made me that much stronger
When I, thought I knew you
Thinking, that you were true
I guess I, I couldn't trust
Called your bluff, time is up
'Cause I've had enough
You were, there by my side
Always, down for the ride
But your, joy ride just came down in flames
'Cause your greed sold me out of shame, mmhmm
After all of the stealing and cheating
You probably think that I hold resentment for you
But, uh uh, oh no, you're wrong
'Cause if it wasn't for all that you tried to do
I wouldn't know just how capable I am to pull through
So I wanna say thank you
(chorus)
'Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter
Ohh, ohh, ohh, ohhhh, ohh-yeah ah uhhhuh
Never, saw it coming
All of, your backstabbing
Just so, you could cash in
On a good thing before I realized your game
I heard, you're going around
Playing the victim now
But don't, even begin
Feeling I'm the one to blame
'Cause you dug your own grave
After all of the fights and the lies
Yes you wanted to harm me but that won't work anymore
Uh, no more, oh no, it's over
'Cause if it wasn't for all of your torture
I wouldn't know how to be this way now, and never back down
So I wanna say thank you
(chorus)
'Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
It makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter
How could this man I thought I knew
Turn out to be unjust so cruel
Could only see the good in you
Pretended not to see the truth
You tried to hide your lies, disguise yourself
Through living in denial
But in the end you'll see
YOU-WON'T-STOP-ME
I am a fighter and I
I ain't goin' stop
There is no turning back
I've had enough
(chorus)
'Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
It makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter
(chorus)
'Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
It makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter
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Re:Suggestion/Idea For Chap 15 + Comments
#2
Oh, another idea based on that song would after Doug has been exposed to the song, Priss sings it to him, thereby causing his metagift to affect Priss. (or whoever is singing it at the time)
I also just realised that I probably should of just emailed the letter to you instead of posting it here.
Oh well.
Anyone got any comments?
Micro Hue
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Re: Re:Suggestion/Idea For Chap 15 + Comments
#3
In no particular order:
Lisa's magegift-like-thing - Bob has hinted several times that he won't just let that thread drop off, but exactly what will happen to 'Sailor Loon' is still a mystery (probably to him as well Smile )
"Later analys...." - Doug probably kept logs of what he did, how he did it and so forth in regards to the boomer brain in his helmet, so the Warriors could analyze both the design and his hacks for possible use back home.
Sending Bob a letter instead of posting here - That's what this forum is for! So the rest of us can see your ideas, too! Smile
-Z, Post-reader at Medium
----
If architects built buildings the way programmers write programs, the first woodpecker to come along would destroy civilization.
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Re: Re:Suggestion/Idea For Chap 15 + Comments
#4
Actually, you're better off posting here than sending me a letter because I'm so backlogged with my email (again!) that it's not funny.
As to suggestions and queries about chapter 15... At this point almost everything is set. I know what songs are used, and how, and why -- in fact, I've known for years. A year ago I burned myself a three-CD "Original Soundtrack" set for DW2, and nothing has changed, or needed to change, since then -- this is how solidly-determined the remainder of the story is. After all, DW2 was born when I saw the ending in my mind's eye, circa 1997-98, and that ending has not changed substantially in all that time. It has been refined, sharpened, focused, but it has not changed.
Beyond that, I can not comment on any song suggestions, nor can I either confirm or deny any speculations.


-- Bob
---------
"Flan on!" -- The battlecry of the Human Dessert
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