One of the funny things about writing yourself is that if you pay close attention, it tends to shine a light on your flaws and why they exist.
For a long time, Father's Day has bothered me. Nothing serious, just that I felt uncomfortable about it. Of course, the reason is now obvious, but me being me I never realized it for a long time.
I happened to be listening to NPR the day before Father's Day, and there was a short bit on there with a woman talking about a family heirloom: her father's mint-green Ford F-100 pickup truck. Hearing her talk about the truck got me to thinking about the truck that I no longer have.
It got towed, and I had no means at all to get it back. It's now in the pick-and-pull. I know because I saw it there. And whatever is left of it now will probably soon be crushed, melted down, and then sent to China as recycled metal.
Keep in mind, not only was this my first vehicle, it's the one I learned to drive stick-shift in. It also very likely saved my life in providing me with shelter for the time I was homeless for a few months. This was the vehicle that I wanted to have become my own heirloom to pass through the family.
Except that's obviously not going to happen now.
And not only because that vehicle is gone and never to be brought back home again. But also because I know that I'm never going to be a father. I'm too screwed up emotionally, I can barely hold down a job, I can barely make ends meet, and I can't even stay in a good relationship because I can't find anyone who is mentally healthy enough to deal with me, let alone anyone at all who'd want to deal with me as their significant other.
And it was then that I realized it. I hate Father's Day because I'm forced to honor the man that made me the person I am today - into someone who is fucked up enough that he can only barely function in society.
So, it was with the above mindset that I wrote this scene. Where Benjamin destroys Gauron. Not simply by beating him. But by telling him: You're only pretending to be a monster. I was raised by one.
"Railgun. Accelerator. Nice of you two to show up," said Benjamin with a calm, polite, and oddly friendly tone.
"Not like I wanted to be here," sneered Accelerator.
"Oh, but you do, trust me. These guys? Imagine the Kihara clan, only as a paramilitary force bent on reshaping the world as they desire."
Accelerator had heard about AMALGAM and had seen the parallels between them and Academy City, but he had never had it put to him quite like that. With that, his desire to be left the hell alone warred intensely with his desire to turn these people into blood smears.
"... Fuck you," was all Accelerator managed to get out.
"You'll need to get in line for that one," said Ben off-hand. "In case you haven't gotten the memo, I'm getting fucked over all the damn time. Where are the others?"
Mikoto answered, "Belldandy said they shouldn't come along. I'm starting to see... BEN! LOOK OUT!"
In a flash, Gauron had broke cover, taking advantage of Ben being distracted, and gut-checked the smaller man with a Ka-Bar knife
It happened so fast that not even Accelerator could react fast enough. No matter what he said about Benjamin, he did respect the man enough to try and save his life if it ever came to that. And for a moment he worried about what Mimi would say to him about this lapse.
Benjamin barely reacted at all and for a long moment, everyone was frozen in shock.
But that was nothing compared to what came next.
Benjamin's hand moved and then gripped Gauron by the throat, forcing the mercenary off of him.
And then Ben smiled.
"Better men than you have done far worse to me, Gauron."
The mercenary's eyes bulged as Benjamin applied a firm and unyielding grip. Gauron tried all that he knew to break his grip. Striking Ben in nerve clusters. Trying to gouge his eyes. Even trying to force Ben's hand open. The only time Ben reacted at all was to grab the wrist attached to the offending hand going for his eyes.
And then came the snap of bone giving away under intense pressure.
Mikoto audibly swallowed.
And all the while, the knife stayed firmly planted in his torso where it had undoubtedly hit something vital, as evidenced by the blood that was steadily streaming from around the blade.
"Do you honestly think I feel that?" said Ben in an oddly conversational tone. He then negligently pulled the knife out. There was a brief spurt of blood, but then no more. It was as though he had somehow turned a valve off to stop the flow. "Maybe if it was a bit on the dull side," said Ben as he examined the blade, "but guys like you always like to keep your knives nice and sharp." The then tossed it aside and refocused his attention back on Gauron. "You know, I've had my appendix burst on me. Had no idea. I didn't find out until later on when I got to the hospital. Oh, I knew something was wrong. Horrible cramps, chills, fever, bowels had all-but voided themselves, and all that nice jazz. So what do I do? Do I do the sensible thing and call emergency services? Oh no. Instead, I got my things together, got into my car, and fucking drove myself ten goddamned miles to the VA Hospital. With a burst appendix. Oh, and the highway was closed because of construction, so it took me a few extra minutes of waiting through traffic lights." Benjamin then sneered as he said, "And all because I was taught better than to wuss out over mere illness. I was taught that no matter how much I was hurting, even if I was puking my goddamned guts out, it didn't matter. There were things I was supposed to do. The chores that were required of me were far more important than little things like my health. Mostly because they were not going to be done by anyone else but me. And all because he said so."
With that, Benjamin's wrist flicked and Gauron was sent flying through the wall.
Gauron wasn't put off too much by that, though. He got up into a ready stance to grapple Benjamin - even though his right arm was useless to him at that moment.
"What the hell are you, you freak!?" snarled the man.
"Just a freak," said Ben casually as he began to bear down on Gauron. "An idiot. A loser. A tenth of a job. A moron who fucks up everything he touches."
There was a blur of motion. It ended with Gauron bent in half over Ben's knee. Backwards, that is. The sound made even Accelerator feel queasy - anytime he did something like that to anyone else, it happened so quickly that there usually was no sound -- at least, nothing that was intelligible enough to recognize as the sound of bones breaking. With the sound, though? It made the experience visceral in a way that he had never felt before.
And then there was the scream. The horrible, agonized scream that tore itself out of Gauron's throat. Accelerator spared a sidelong look at Railgun. He had to admit, she was taking it like a trooper, but she had still turned so green that he was sure that any more would cause her to lose her lunch.
He really hoped she didn't. That was just nasty.
As the man's scream of agony died down into a whimper, Ben leaned over and spoke in that conversational tone once more.
"You think you know what it means to be a monster, Gauron? You think that it means that you make others suffer for your own gain, don't you? Or even that a monster hurts people just for the fun of it. The fact of the matter is, though, that you know nothing about monsters. You merely pretend to be one. I was raised by a true monster."
Gauron took a feeble swipe at Ben, but he parried the blow with contemptuous ease. And then, as if to say "Let's do something about that, shall we?", Ben then jabbed his fingers into Gauron's ribs, gripped, then twisted. Yet another snap of bones breaking was elicited, along with an accompanying scream.
That did it for Mikoto and she ran for the nearest bush. Accelerator, despite his own discomfort, rolled his eyes. At the very least she had the decency to do it out of sight.
"Because of that, I know what a true monster is like," continued Ben. "And true monsters take no joy in what they do. They simply do as they do, motivated by whims both inane and Machiavellian. I was but a mere nuisance to him. Something that absolutely refused to fit into what he expected of the world. Nothing more than an erstwhile nail that needed to be hammered. And dear God did he hammer on me. Double standards. Lies. Impossible expectations. Brutal and disproportionate punishments. And all while maintaining a thin veneer of a civilized upbringing, because God forbid I ever make him look bad in public."
Benjamin then hoisted Gauron upwards into a sitting position, ignoring his scream of pain as what was left of his lumbar vertebrae ground together.
"That is what it is to be a monster, Gauron. No passion. No joy. Simple necessity. No more, no less. Isn't that why you always appreciated Sagara? That you secretly understood that he was far closer to being a monster than you ever could be? Only because he does what needs to be done, with all the passion of a man washing the dishes? And I was raised by a man like that. One that only cared for me inasmuch I pricked his ego by merely existing. Older than any of his other sons. Fawned over by my mother. Undeniably intelligent. But nothing at all what he thought a human being should be."
Benjamin then lifted the man's head, forcing him to look into Ben's eyes.
"Thus, I am a freak. A weirdo. Someone who doesn't fit in, no matter how hard he tries. Everything is pointless for me. Someone who can't even do the simplest tasks without screwing up. I don't even qualify as a human being because I'm just so terrible at getting things right the way a good little boy should. There is no place in the world for the likes of me. I should just give up and die - stop sucking up perfectly good air someone else can be breathing. But there is one thing that I know I certainly can do before I let myself end. And that is to remove trash like you from existence. Except I'm not gonna do that. I've got something better for you in mind. Sebastian?"
At once, the sharply dressed demon-lord-turned-butler appeared. "At your service, Mr. Rhodes."
"That was awfully fast, even by your standards," said Ben in a mild tone.
"We've been watching," said the demon with a smile. "Lady Hild is... rather entertained."
"Indeed," said Ben. "Well, I apologize for the interruption, but I think you and yours have wonderful things in store for this man."
Sebastian's smile grew a bit wider. "Of course, Mr. Rhodes." With a snap of his fingers, Gauron was gone. "Before I leave, though, please allow me to say how much I look forward to working with you in the future, Mr. Rhodes. You have a je nais sais quoi that I feel has been lacking in the rank and file in Hell. Brutal, yes. But so very much to the point in how you go about it."
Ben snorted. "In other words, you like how I don't beat around the bush."
"If one were to put it so plainly, then yes. If you will excuse me, though, I must ensure that your gift is properly delivered. Good day and happy hunting, Mr. Rhodes."
For a long time, Father's Day has bothered me. Nothing serious, just that I felt uncomfortable about it. Of course, the reason is now obvious, but me being me I never realized it for a long time.
I happened to be listening to NPR the day before Father's Day, and there was a short bit on there with a woman talking about a family heirloom: her father's mint-green Ford F-100 pickup truck. Hearing her talk about the truck got me to thinking about the truck that I no longer have.
It got towed, and I had no means at all to get it back. It's now in the pick-and-pull. I know because I saw it there. And whatever is left of it now will probably soon be crushed, melted down, and then sent to China as recycled metal.
Keep in mind, not only was this my first vehicle, it's the one I learned to drive stick-shift in. It also very likely saved my life in providing me with shelter for the time I was homeless for a few months. This was the vehicle that I wanted to have become my own heirloom to pass through the family.
Except that's obviously not going to happen now.
And not only because that vehicle is gone and never to be brought back home again. But also because I know that I'm never going to be a father. I'm too screwed up emotionally, I can barely hold down a job, I can barely make ends meet, and I can't even stay in a good relationship because I can't find anyone who is mentally healthy enough to deal with me, let alone anyone at all who'd want to deal with me as their significant other.
And it was then that I realized it. I hate Father's Day because I'm forced to honor the man that made me the person I am today - into someone who is fucked up enough that he can only barely function in society.
So, it was with the above mindset that I wrote this scene. Where Benjamin destroys Gauron. Not simply by beating him. But by telling him: You're only pretending to be a monster. I was raised by one.
"Railgun. Accelerator. Nice of you two to show up," said Benjamin with a calm, polite, and oddly friendly tone.
"Not like I wanted to be here," sneered Accelerator.
"Oh, but you do, trust me. These guys? Imagine the Kihara clan, only as a paramilitary force bent on reshaping the world as they desire."
Accelerator had heard about AMALGAM and had seen the parallels between them and Academy City, but he had never had it put to him quite like that. With that, his desire to be left the hell alone warred intensely with his desire to turn these people into blood smears.
"... Fuck you," was all Accelerator managed to get out.
"You'll need to get in line for that one," said Ben off-hand. "In case you haven't gotten the memo, I'm getting fucked over all the damn time. Where are the others?"
Mikoto answered, "Belldandy said they shouldn't come along. I'm starting to see... BEN! LOOK OUT!"
In a flash, Gauron had broke cover, taking advantage of Ben being distracted, and gut-checked the smaller man with a Ka-Bar knife
It happened so fast that not even Accelerator could react fast enough. No matter what he said about Benjamin, he did respect the man enough to try and save his life if it ever came to that. And for a moment he worried about what Mimi would say to him about this lapse.
Benjamin barely reacted at all and for a long moment, everyone was frozen in shock.
But that was nothing compared to what came next.
Benjamin's hand moved and then gripped Gauron by the throat, forcing the mercenary off of him.
And then Ben smiled.
"Better men than you have done far worse to me, Gauron."
The mercenary's eyes bulged as Benjamin applied a firm and unyielding grip. Gauron tried all that he knew to break his grip. Striking Ben in nerve clusters. Trying to gouge his eyes. Even trying to force Ben's hand open. The only time Ben reacted at all was to grab the wrist attached to the offending hand going for his eyes.
And then came the snap of bone giving away under intense pressure.
Mikoto audibly swallowed.
And all the while, the knife stayed firmly planted in his torso where it had undoubtedly hit something vital, as evidenced by the blood that was steadily streaming from around the blade.
"Do you honestly think I feel that?" said Ben in an oddly conversational tone. He then negligently pulled the knife out. There was a brief spurt of blood, but then no more. It was as though he had somehow turned a valve off to stop the flow. "Maybe if it was a bit on the dull side," said Ben as he examined the blade, "but guys like you always like to keep your knives nice and sharp." The then tossed it aside and refocused his attention back on Gauron. "You know, I've had my appendix burst on me. Had no idea. I didn't find out until later on when I got to the hospital. Oh, I knew something was wrong. Horrible cramps, chills, fever, bowels had all-but voided themselves, and all that nice jazz. So what do I do? Do I do the sensible thing and call emergency services? Oh no. Instead, I got my things together, got into my car, and fucking drove myself ten goddamned miles to the VA Hospital. With a burst appendix. Oh, and the highway was closed because of construction, so it took me a few extra minutes of waiting through traffic lights." Benjamin then sneered as he said, "And all because I was taught better than to wuss out over mere illness. I was taught that no matter how much I was hurting, even if I was puking my goddamned guts out, it didn't matter. There were things I was supposed to do. The chores that were required of me were far more important than little things like my health. Mostly because they were not going to be done by anyone else but me. And all because he said so."
With that, Benjamin's wrist flicked and Gauron was sent flying through the wall.
Gauron wasn't put off too much by that, though. He got up into a ready stance to grapple Benjamin - even though his right arm was useless to him at that moment.
"What the hell are you, you freak!?" snarled the man.
"Just a freak," said Ben casually as he began to bear down on Gauron. "An idiot. A loser. A tenth of a job. A moron who fucks up everything he touches."
There was a blur of motion. It ended with Gauron bent in half over Ben's knee. Backwards, that is. The sound made even Accelerator feel queasy - anytime he did something like that to anyone else, it happened so quickly that there usually was no sound -- at least, nothing that was intelligible enough to recognize as the sound of bones breaking. With the sound, though? It made the experience visceral in a way that he had never felt before.
And then there was the scream. The horrible, agonized scream that tore itself out of Gauron's throat. Accelerator spared a sidelong look at Railgun. He had to admit, she was taking it like a trooper, but she had still turned so green that he was sure that any more would cause her to lose her lunch.
He really hoped she didn't. That was just nasty.
As the man's scream of agony died down into a whimper, Ben leaned over and spoke in that conversational tone once more.
"You think you know what it means to be a monster, Gauron? You think that it means that you make others suffer for your own gain, don't you? Or even that a monster hurts people just for the fun of it. The fact of the matter is, though, that you know nothing about monsters. You merely pretend to be one. I was raised by a true monster."
Gauron took a feeble swipe at Ben, but he parried the blow with contemptuous ease. And then, as if to say "Let's do something about that, shall we?", Ben then jabbed his fingers into Gauron's ribs, gripped, then twisted. Yet another snap of bones breaking was elicited, along with an accompanying scream.
That did it for Mikoto and she ran for the nearest bush. Accelerator, despite his own discomfort, rolled his eyes. At the very least she had the decency to do it out of sight.
"Because of that, I know what a true monster is like," continued Ben. "And true monsters take no joy in what they do. They simply do as they do, motivated by whims both inane and Machiavellian. I was but a mere nuisance to him. Something that absolutely refused to fit into what he expected of the world. Nothing more than an erstwhile nail that needed to be hammered. And dear God did he hammer on me. Double standards. Lies. Impossible expectations. Brutal and disproportionate punishments. And all while maintaining a thin veneer of a civilized upbringing, because God forbid I ever make him look bad in public."
Benjamin then hoisted Gauron upwards into a sitting position, ignoring his scream of pain as what was left of his lumbar vertebrae ground together.
"That is what it is to be a monster, Gauron. No passion. No joy. Simple necessity. No more, no less. Isn't that why you always appreciated Sagara? That you secretly understood that he was far closer to being a monster than you ever could be? Only because he does what needs to be done, with all the passion of a man washing the dishes? And I was raised by a man like that. One that only cared for me inasmuch I pricked his ego by merely existing. Older than any of his other sons. Fawned over by my mother. Undeniably intelligent. But nothing at all what he thought a human being should be."
Benjamin then lifted the man's head, forcing him to look into Ben's eyes.
"Thus, I am a freak. A weirdo. Someone who doesn't fit in, no matter how hard he tries. Everything is pointless for me. Someone who can't even do the simplest tasks without screwing up. I don't even qualify as a human being because I'm just so terrible at getting things right the way a good little boy should. There is no place in the world for the likes of me. I should just give up and die - stop sucking up perfectly good air someone else can be breathing. But there is one thing that I know I certainly can do before I let myself end. And that is to remove trash like you from existence. Except I'm not gonna do that. I've got something better for you in mind. Sebastian?"
At once, the sharply dressed demon-lord-turned-butler appeared. "At your service, Mr. Rhodes."
"That was awfully fast, even by your standards," said Ben in a mild tone.
"We've been watching," said the demon with a smile. "Lady Hild is... rather entertained."
"Indeed," said Ben. "Well, I apologize for the interruption, but I think you and yours have wonderful things in store for this man."
Sebastian's smile grew a bit wider. "Of course, Mr. Rhodes." With a snap of his fingers, Gauron was gone. "Before I leave, though, please allow me to say how much I look forward to working with you in the future, Mr. Rhodes. You have a je nais sais quoi that I feel has been lacking in the rank and file in Hell. Brutal, yes. But so very much to the point in how you go about it."
Ben snorted. "In other words, you like how I don't beat around the bush."
"If one were to put it so plainly, then yes. If you will excuse me, though, I must ensure that your gift is properly delivered. Good day and happy hunting, Mr. Rhodes."