Incidental Bits 2 - The Comebacks

[robkelk]

EDIT: The posts that preceded this post have been moved because they reference a plot that we have been asked to not use.

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Old thread is old... and filled with plotbunnies

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Chicago, IL, USA
October 14, 2016


"Whatever happened to us yesterday wasn't time travel. We're definitely not in our home world."

"How do you figure that, Rally?" asked Bean around big bites of burgers, not really caring but willing to humor his sometimes-partner.

"When I went to renew my license this morning, they told me that bounty hunting's illegal here. Even if you get a license out-of-state."

"That's a shame," May commented. "It's been three decades. When did they change the law?"

"That's how I know we're in a different world. They changed it in 1963."

May's eyebrows headed for her forehead. "But that's before I was born!"

"Huh," Bean grunted. "So we're not home. Any idea how to find out where we are?"

"Not a clue. Right now, I'm more worried about how to earn a living. Burgers aren't free."

[robkelk]

Douglass Gardens
Date unknown

"My Brother! I've been reading this fan fiction that our landlord wrote before we arrived!"

Kazuki Sendo sighed - his friend Taishi Kuhonbutsu was in full "large ham" mode, which meant he had either an Idea or a Problem. And Taishi had cornered him in the common lounge with other residents watching - at least, they were watching now, after Taishi's grand entrance - so Kazuki couldn't just leave. And Taishi had a sheaf of pages in his hands. "I'm almost afraid to ask, Taishi. Is it any good?"

Taishi held up the printout to emphasize its existence. "It's an excellent work! But not perfect! Do you know what it needs?"

"More cowbell?"

Everybody turned to glare at Ritsu Tainaka. "No!" Taishi exclaimed.

"Oh, sure, hate on the drummer."

"It needs to be turned into a doujin!"

Kazuki looked at the printout in Taishi's hand - the very thick printout. "Unless there's only one word on each of those pages, that isn't a doujin. That's an entire series."

"You can edit it down!"

Kazuki frowned - he had his own stories to tell. "You edit it down. See how easy that is."

"I will!" replied Taishi, just before turning and racing for the door. "I ... shall ... return!"

As the door closed behind him, Ritsu muttered, "Take your time, you blowhard." Then she turned to Kazuki and asked, "Has he ever edited a story before?"

"Not as far as I know."

"I'm beginning to see why you dread your best friend's visits."

"He isn't my best friend," Kazuki muttered in response.

[Bob Schroeck]

<snrk>

[robkelk]

"Artie, you know we're not supposed to have access to each other's work. Lord Phantomhive likes it when we're compartmentalized."

Artemis looked up from the intelligence report that he was preparing for Lord Phantomhive... while using Rob's office computer. "But Ciel also likes it when we take initiative, Rob."

"He likes it when you take initiative. Sebastian likes cats."

"There is that." After a moment, he asked, "Did you want me to stop slipping intel about the Unseelie to Minako?"

Rob chuckled. "Do I look stupid? Just don't tell me about it. Oh, by the way, since you are drawing a salary from Funtom now, I have to start charging you rent."

"One charge for the entire family, right?"

"Right. You're only using one apartment."

[Dartz]

"I'm actually kinda dissapointed," said Lou, with a sad smile. "I was hoping somebody would at least ask us to stay overnight."

"I don't think any of us wanted to," said Meg.

"That's not the point," Lou answered. "It would've been nice to be asked, but they were all afraid of us," she said. "They barely even spoke to us. They thought we'd be offended or, maybe..." she shrugged her shoulders. "Other things."

"They knew what we were, and they were afraid of us," said Sylvie, "That's what it means to be a boomer."

[robkelk]

In case people hadn't noticed... For my posts in this thread, text in your browser's nicely-formatted font is definitely happening or OOC, text in monospaced font is possibly/probably happening but might not happen, and text in a scribble (like this post) is speculative (or silliness) that could still fit into a story somewhere.

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"Once the GenX generation starts reaching their 50s and 60s in the 2030s and 2040s, they'll be Silver Millennials. And Serenity will be their Queen."

"Mina!!!"

[robkelk]

I refuse to believe that I am the first person to come up with this.

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"Susan!"

"I call myself 'Setsuna Meioh' now, grandfather."

Everyone looked at The Doctor. "You have a granddaughter?"

[Mamorien]

I refuse to believe that I am the first person to come up with this.

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"Susan!"

"I call myself 'Setsuna Meioh' now, grandfather."

Everyone looked at The Doctor. "You have a granddaughter?"

You're the first person I've seen publish this, but I very much doubt that, in an infinite Universe such as (for example) the one in which we live, you're the first person actually to come up with it. It's even funnier to me because I remember reading (or maybe hearing) somewhere that "Susan" almost was her dub name, and now I wonder if that's why they considered it.

[robkelk]

I refuse to believe that I am the first person to come up with this.

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"Susan!"

"I call myself 'Setsuna Meioh' now, grandfather."

Everyone looked at The Doctor. "You have a granddaughter?"

You're the first person I've seen publish this, but I very much doubt that, in an infinite Universe such as (for example) the one in which we live, you're the first person actually to come up with it. It's even funnier to me because I remember reading (or maybe hearing) somewhere that "Susan" almost was her dub name, and now I wonder if that's why they considered it.

Exactly. "Setsuna" to "Susan" is as easy to believe as "Ami" to "Amy", and they actually did that dub name change.

[Bob Schroeck]

Of course we must use it.

[robkelk]

"Hey, I have a girlfriend! She's in Canada."

"Yeah, right. You have a girlfriend in Canada. You and that guy from The Breakfast Club."

"No, really!"

"Then tell us about her!"

"Well, she was born in Japan, and she says I remind her of her sempai..."

[robkelk]

OOC silliness: Somebody finds out about one of the very-long fanfics written by an apartment manager, and starts calling the place in New Jersey "Douglas Sangnoir Apartments".

[Bob Schroeck]

<snrk>

[robkelk]

White stag seen and photographed in southern Ottawa

But which White Stag?

The Arthurian one, here to tell Saber to start a Grail Quest?
...

"It is a sign! We must quest for the Holy Grail!"

Shirou and Rin looked up from the news to look straight at Saber, Shirou pointing out, "Velthandi said that the Grail War was on hold."

"Not a Grail War, a Grail Quest. We must go our own ways and seek the Holy Grail."

"I'm right here, you know."

Saber smiled kindly. "Yes, Illya, we know. The point to a Grail Quest isn't the finding of the Grail; it's the finding of oneself along the way."

[robkelk]

As long as I'm on a Grail kick...

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"Usagi! Transform to Eternal Sailor Moon!"

"But I need the Grail in order to do that!"

Just then, a group of motorcycles rounded the corner, the lead bike carrying a rider and a passenger. They stopped directly beside Sailor Moon and the passenger hopped off the bike. "Thanks for the ride, Hane-san!"

"No problem, Illyasviel-san!" the biker replied.

[robkelk]

After a long, difficult day, Artemis plunked down into a chair and muttered sarcastically, "Well, hasn't today been all beer and skittles." A moment later, and without turning around, he added, "Put the bag of candy down, Minako."

She did so, reluctantly.

[robkelk]

"Mulder, people cannot fly under their own power. There's no way for them to produce thrust, and the human body is aerodynamically unsuited for flight. Oh, hello, Ryoko."

[robkelk]

I refuse to believe that I am the first person to come up with this.

---

"Susan!"

"I call myself 'Setsuna Meioh' now, grandfather."

Everyone looked at The Doctor. "You have a granddaughter?"

You're the first person I've seen publish this, but I very much doubt that, in an infinite Universe such as (for example) the one in which we live, you're the first person actually to come up with it. It's even funnier to me because I remember reading (or maybe hearing) somewhere that "Susan" almost was her dub name, and now I wonder if that's why they considered it.

Exactly. "Setsuna" to "Susan" is as easy to believe as "Ami" to "Amy", and they actually did that dub name change.

Of course we must use it.

I think we're going to have to use this.

According to the backstory Naoko Takeuchi gave her, Setsuna is majoring in theoretical physics... and plans to become a fashion designer. Wikipedia says "she sacrifices herself on pain of death, but is reinstated later in the series", and "It is not even clear whether she has a civilian history at all, as time travel and multiple deaths and reincarnations complicate any backstory."

If Sailor Pluto isn't a Time Lord (with attendant personality shifts when she regenerates), I don't know who is. And making her The Doctor's granddaughter is simply Conservation of Detail.

[robkelk]

I was bored so I took a look at where everything is on Pensacola Beach... which lead to this possible exchange. I have no idea whether I'm writing Harley Waters in character, because his character hasn't been set in stone yet.

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"Why do you need bicycles?"

"Because it's three and a half miles to the closest ice cream shop. Or to any place else to buy anything around here." Asuka sighed deeply. "All the places we could have ended up, and we get stuck in a bedroom community."

Harley grinned. "That sounds to me like a reason to get a real bike, see more of the world than just the beach in our front yard."

"We're too young to get motorcycle licenses," Hikari pointed out.

"Aw, you'll grow out of that soon enough."

"But in the mean time..." Toji deliberately didn't finish his sentence.

Harley laughed. "Okay, okay, I know when I'm beat! I'll get you a few kiddie bikes tomorrow."

[robkelk]

No guarantees that this will happen - I just sent the idea off to the other writers, so they might say "no."

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Are you xenophobic? This is not for you. We dearly need an open-minded person. He or she must be in good health, fluent in English, some knowledge of business practices or property maintenance essential, willing to assist the people around him or her. Permanent employment, pay and lodging, opportunities to learn and teach. You must apply in person at 370 Beech Street, Highland Park, IL

Hey! That's Cameron's address! Somebody has to be having me on.

Oh, hi, readers! I didn't see you there at first. I'm Ferris Bueller. Maybe you've heard of me?

[robkelk]

A little something I just dashed off - this might be the shortest introduction story we write.

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The Banzai Institute for Biomedical Engineering and Strategic Information
September 8, 2016
9:14 AM

Are you xenophobic? This is not for you. We dearly need an open-minded person. He or she must be in good health, fluent in English with some Japanese, some knowledge of business practices or property maintenance essential, willing to assist the people around him or her. Permanent employment, pay and lodging, opportunities to learn and teach. You must apply in person at 500 Demott Lane, Somerset, NJ.

"Hey, Buckaroo, what's with this flyer?"

Buckaroo Banzai stopped what he was doing and read the piece of paper that Perfect Tommy held up. "That's news to me. I'm not hiring anybody right now."

"It must be a prank, then."

[Bob Schroeck]

Heh. That works.

[robkelk]

OOC: Today's useless fact.

Put four Imperial Star Destroyers in a row, bow to stern. That row is still shorter than the Ooarai Prefectural Girls High School school ship.

[Bob Schroeck]

Okay, so now all we have to do is fix a wave motion engine to the school ship, make the tanks vacuum-capable, and dispatch schoolgirls against the Empire. The Empire won't stand a chance.

(EDIT: Now I'm wondering how it compares to a super star destroyer.)

(EDIT2: Enough to make Vader turn tail and run. A SSD is a mere 1.6 km long. The Ooarai ship is 7.6 km.)

[Cobalt Greywalker]

Okay, so now all we have to do is fix a wave motion engine to the school ship, make the tanks vacuum-capable, and dispatch schoolgirls against the Empire.  The Empire won't stand a chance.

(EDIT:  Now I'm wondering how it compares to a super star destroyer.)

(EDIT2:  Enough to make Vader turn tail and run.  A SSD is a mere 1.6 km long.  The Ooarai ship is 7.6 km.)

Uh...NO.

Sorry Bob.  A Star Destroyer (Imperial-class as seen in the original trilogy) is 1.6km long.

An Super Star Destroyer (Executor-class, again as seen in the Original trilogy) is 19km long.

I think you got mixed up somewhere there.