Adrift in Time
by Brent Laabs
by Brent Laabs
1. The Waif Waifu
Urayasa, Chiba, Japan
March 15, 2003
2:10PM JT
A group of seven young women stood in line for one of Magical Land's great attractions, Pirates of the South Pacific. It was a beautiful day to celebrate their recent graduation from high school, with the warmth of spring bursting just in time for this outing.
They were similar to many other groups of recent graduates wandering around the theme park, with a small exception: the twintailed child prodigy Chiyo Mihama, only age 13, still stood out from her elders. However, she was steadily catching up in height to the rest of her cohort, her growth spurt having finally kicked in.
Given that Tomo Takino had just taken Chiyo and Kaori Aida on a maximum-speed teacup ride, both of them were hanging on Sakaki – partially for balance, but by now mostly for protection from Tomo.
So it was, that Chiyo missed Osaka's fateful question, "Do you think they use real magic at Magical Land?"
Koyomi Mizuhara, a bespectacled brunette beauty, explained, "I thought that it was just magineering."
"Oh, I get it." Tomo riffed, "Like if technology is so advanced, it's like the same as magic. So they just put them together!"
"Right, because it's so similar now, they combined magic with engineering to make all of the rides."
"I see! That explains why this place is so much fun!"
Osaka added, "Wow, you know so much, Yomi."
"I'm pretty sure they're just messing with us," noted Kagura, a girl with short cropped hair and an athletic build. "Magineering is not even a real word."
Yomi pulled a book out of her purse, and flipped to the relevant page of the guide book on the park, "See, it's right here in black and white." Sure enough the page she displayed was emblazoned with the Japanese text "Magical Land: The Magineering that Makes It Happen".
"No way!"
The queue moved forward, which gave Yomi a convenient excuse to close her book before anyone looked too closely at it. Actually, traffic for this attraction was pretty light today.
When they got to the water line, Sakaki asked the operator, "Excuse me. Can we all ride together in the same boat?"
The operator, barely older than Sakaki herself, looked up at the tall, serious, raven-haired woman with trepidation. "I think you can have your own boat. No need to worry." Yeah, no need to cause a problem with this scary onee-san.
As the next boat rolled through the shallow water, the graduates all loaded into the barge, and pulled down the safety bars. As the watertight cart started moving, Tomo pointed forward. "Full speed ahead!"
"That operator was really nice wasn't she?" Chiyo declared.
Sakaki agreed, "Yes, very pleasant."
Just before the boat turned the corner, Sakaki caught a glimpse of "Chiyo's father", a large orange cat-like creature (she was still not sure if he was really a cat), waving to everyone as they entered the ride. Strange, she thought; this was the first time she had seen him outside of a dream. Did he work as a mascot character? She said, "Your father…"
"Yes?"
The voiceover boomed in archaic Japanese, "Abandon all hope, all ye who enter!" The boat had just started to descend to the lower level of the ride, and then, the artificial grotto was filled with a blinding light. Sakaki instinctively grabbed Chiyo-chan to keep her safe.
A small wave sloshed into the boat, soaking Tomo and Kagura. A high-pitched groan of tearing metal filled the room – and then the grotto itself was gone.
The coruscating light shone in all the colors at once, as if the craft and its occupants were surrounded by the aurora. Whether they were falling or weightless, it's impossible to say; still they were held firmly in the boat by its mechanical arms. Which is not to say that everyone aboard was not holding on for dear life.
After about a minute, the boat materialized three meters above a placid ocean surface; after hovering in midair for a second the sphere of light around the boat evaporated. Gravity quickly did the work to bring the boat to sea, rocking the craft side-to-side, but fortunately not swamping the boat.
Osaka gave a hearty Kansai, "What the heck!"
Yomi chimed in with her own, "What the heck."
Tomo immediately reached for the emergency release for the mechanical arms locking the passengers in. "I've always wanted to pull that switch."
"Huh, they really do use magic. Who'd'a thought?" Osaka stated. There was nothing else she could have concluded, staring up at an azure sky filled with towering cumulus, the air at least 10 degrees warmer than a few minutes ago. An island with tropical vegetation lay a half-mile away, proving in no uncertain terms that they were no longer in Tokyo.
"Is everyone okay?" Kaorin asked. She then started calling roll for her friends. It turned out that the class president role had become pretty ingrained for her, despite only doing it for her senior year. Just last year, she would have been a nervous wreck from whatever had just happened to them, but just the act of doing a duty helped to calm her down.
As it was, Chiyo looked to be on the verge of tears, but Sakaki was already calming her down. Fortunately, every member of the crew was hale and hearty – and more than a bit shaken.
Bailing water out of their boat with their hands became the next business. The good news is that the boat was designed to survive a fall, and thus was entirely undamaged. The bad news was that the boat was designed to run on wheels in a track, and had no way to propel itself through a real sea.
"I have no idea what happened to us, but we need to get to that island," declared Yomi.
"Aye aye, captain," Tomo saluted. "But we have no oars to row with. Maybe Kagura can get out and push us."
"Eh?" Kagura yelped.
"Belay that, seaman. See if we can find some sort of board on here we can use."
Tomo offered, "Osaka is flat as a board, maybe we can use her, captain."
"You're as flat as a board too, Tomo," Osaka accused. "You'll have to be the other oar!"
"Oh no, I've said too much!"
Sakaki stood up and kicked apart a couple of the seats; it wasn't long before they had improvised a couple of oars out of the plywood. Even with calm seas and favorable winds, it was slow going. Tomo's burst of energy lasted just under a minute, which left most of the rowing work to Kagura and Sakaki.
After about twenty minutes under the baking sun, Sakaki saw a large boat speeding to her location. She immediately stood up and started waving, and everyone else joined her.
Kaori yelled, "Stop rocking the boat, Tomo! She's not designed for the real ocean!"
"But holy freaking crap, we're going to meet real pirates! Sail the seven seas!" Tomo reasoned.
Yomi observed, "Uh, there's no sails on that ship, so no pirates."
"I bet it's a ship of modern pirates. Ahoy mateys!!!"
"I bet this is a ship of a modern idiot."
The PT-boat had spotted the theme park attraction's boat a few minutes before, and was already on a course to pick up its new passengers. After five more minutes, the gray gunboat pulled up alongside, 80 feet long if it was an inch. Curiously, the boat had no markings or flag, as if it were trying to be inconspicuous on purpose. Still, a rescue was a rescue.
Three men got came out on deck to help. They were a motley crew to be sure: a blond man in a Hawaiian shirt, a brawny bald black man in a flak jacket, and what looked like an authentic Japanese salaryman.
"Ahoy there! Looks like you could use some help," called the black man.
"No, we're just out for a three-hour tour," Tomo called back in perfect English.
"Heh. OK, tie these lines to the boat, and we'll send down the rope ladder." As they tied the ropes to the boat's safety bars, he asked, "What the heck kind of boat is that?"
"A pirate ride boat," answered Kagura with a smile.
"Pirates of the Caribbean? You gotta be shitting me. Damn job gets weirder every day."
"Now Dutch, be polite with our guests, or I'll send you below to hide with Miss Sunshine."
"Fair enough."
Inside her cabin aboard the Black Lagoon, a woman cleaning her pistols sneezed.
As the salaryman helped everyone climb aboard, he said, "We apologize for the delay in finding you. My name is Rokuro Okajima, but you can call me Rock. This is Benny, and Dutch. Welcome aboard the Black Lagoon – and welcome to the year 2016."
2. Upgraded Accommodations
Aboard the Black Lagoon, South China Sea
Monday, September 26, 2016
12:37 PM local
The seven young women sat on long green bench seats along the grey metal walls. Sakaki, Chiyo, and Osaka on one side of the room; Yomi, Kaori, and Kagura on the other; and Tomo perched herself atop a wooden crate. The cargo hold of a WWII era PT-boat wasn't built for comfort, but they made do for now.
Their group sulking came to an end when Rock reentered the cabin. Under the fluorescent lights, Rock could see that every single one of them looked to be Japanese in origin, but there was something different about them. Something about their eyes seemed just a little bit bigger than normal.
"Well, ladies, after a little chat with the home office, it sounds like everything is being taken care of. Ladies, let's get you resettled into a new home. I'd like to find you find a place that will make you feel at home, probably as close as we can to where you came from. What kind of place would you like, city or country?"
The girl on the crate stood up and announced, "Yeah, it's gotta be the beach! We all come from a super-nice beach resort town."
Yomi grabbed her hand from behind, whispering, "Tomo, what are you up to?"
"Just play along," Tomo whispered back. "It's going to be amazing!"
Tomo went back to addressing the room. "Yeah, Kagura over here goes swimming every day in the ocean. Don't you want to go swimming in the ocean, every day again Kagura?"
"Oh... Oh yes! Definitely swimming!" Kagura finally picked up on her cue, "Yeah, a beach resort town, definitely!" Her story would have been more believable with a deeper swimmer's tan, but was a bit too early in the year for that.
The girl with straight hair and large eyes looked pensive in the back. "Wait, was that where we were from?" Osaka wondered softly, to no one in particular.
Yomi glanced over to Sakaki, to see if she wanted to put a stop to the lie. But Sakaki simply looked serious, a mien she often wore when lost in thought. Chiyo looked confused, and Osaka looked typically confused. Kaorin looked flustered at this unexpected scheme, which to be honest was typical for her too.
Well, Yomi thought, a beach house does sound pretty nice, especially if someone else is paying. And a resort town was likely to have some good gourmet food. "That's right Okajima-san! Can you find us a charming little beach town? It would make us feel right at home. Oh! And maybe one with a university nearby?"
Rock could see through their ploy, of course. But he had to admire Tomo, negotiating from a position of weakness. He'd do the same. It hadn't been so long ago that he had been willing to cast his former life away for one on the sea. But these girls couldn't live as he would, not by a long shot.
"I'm afraid I don't have anything in Japan right now, it's very popular for some reason." He started flipping through a stack of papers, until he came across the one he was looking for. "Great, there's still space in this property. How'd you all like to be housed in Venice Beach, California? It's near Los Angeles."
Tomo exclaimed "Umi getto!" with a fist raised in the air.
"Sounds good to me," Yomi replied to the man. "Chiyo, you were planning on going to university in America this year anyway. You wouldn't mind if we joined in, would you?"
"Oh, um, no, I mean yes. I suppose UCLA is a very good school, and I wouldn't have to be alone... OK, let's do it."
Rock was a little surprised that the youngest child in the room, an orange-haired girl who looked to have just begun puberty, planned on attending UCLA. But, well, these Arrivals are all special in their own way – himself included – so he decided there was really nothing to be surprised about.
3. Interested for the Wrong Reasons
Monday, September 26, 11:40 AM PST
Venice Beach, California
Life with the undines had settled into a slow rhythm over the past week. Once the initial rush to get everyone clothed and their apartments furnished had worn off, their natural tendency to take things easy and go with the flow took over.
The one least able to sit around doing nothing, Akira, was out there putting the cohort of trainees through some of her strict training. They all dreaded it to some degree, even knowing that it was just how Akira showed her tough love. I understood her perfectionism, as I had some similar tendencies, but understood even more the kids not wanting to be on the receiving end of it.
I didn't really know what Athena was up to. Perhaps she was still sleeping in; but with the noise, perhaps not. On weekdays like this, one could hear the occasional banging of remodeling work in the upstairs apartments, but it was pretty calm on the first floor.
There was still a lot of construction work to be completed in the upper stories. I was able to get back a few of the same contractors who had been working on the site before, and at least to start with was going through with most of the plan. We were adding insulation to the walls and repairing termite damage, so that often required removing the drywall and going all the way down to the studs. For now, most of what was happening was carpentry work, and the electricians would be available again in a week or two.
A couple of painters were upstairs finishing a coat of white walls on the apartment directly above me. All the apartments, like apartments everywhere, had a boring coat of white. I wanted to change my own unit's walls to, I don't know, a verdant green, or maybe a sky blue? Until I could decide otherwise, I guess they stay white.
Alicia Florence was right next to me in the office, typing into her own laptop across the room. The apartment's office was just the frontmost bedroom of the apartment I had claimed, #1. The real estate here was pretty valuable, so previously the management had all lived off-site. But with dimensional refugees, I really did need to be here. Alicia was plenty smart, but she still couldn't drive a car, pair a Bluetooth, or smash a bug on her own. Well, technically she could do the last one, but rather preferred not to.
She had other skills. "Brent, what do you think about these ranges?" She showed me a picture of a stove and oven on a manufacturer's website.
I swiveled in my chair, and took a quick glance at her screen. "Looks nice."
Alicia had settled into a role of helping me out with organizing the apartment construction. While Akira had experience managing employees, Alicia had run a business for years as sole proprietor. I was ostensibly the one in charge as manager of the building, but honestly she was the one teaching me how to do things. Things like budgeting, managing contract work, making sure things happened in order, and just keeping on top of every aspect of a project. And, of course to make sure Alicia did this right, President Aria was inactively supervising her while curled up into a ball atop her desk.
"It looks better than what we have now," she argued.
"It looks expensive," I countered.
"I found a builder who made the wrong order and now they have 14 extras sitting around." Alicia, it turned out, was a whiz at Craigslist.
"We should definitely check that out," I said.
"It's in... Garden Grove?"
"That's not too far, but it's a ways away. About an hour, I suppose."
"Let's go after lunch, then. I'll let them know."
"Do you... want to have lunch with me?"
"Sorry, but I need go out and check that Akira isn't being too strict on the singles." She glanced at the clock, and muttered, "Ara ara, is it that late already? I should go check now."
"Okay, see you after lunch."
She stepped out the door, and turned to call back, "See you then."
As she left, I sighed. She always had some excuse. Aria, who was still in the room, walked up to me, and gave a sympathetic, "Pun-yuu..."
"Yeah, it's just not going to happen, is it?"
"Nyu, nyu, nyuu." Aria faced me, held a paw up, and shook his head in the affirmative. "Punyuu!"
"I know, you're not lucky in love either. I appreciate the support. But this," I gestured towards the door, "I don't think it's ever going to happen. She's way out of my league."
"Nya nya, nyuu nyuu," the Martian cat said, tilting his head from side to side. If anything, his opinion of Alicia was higher than mine.
"Don't worry, I'll be fine. You should go catch up with the girls."
He agreed, "Punyuu," and donned his Aria Company cap before heading out the door himself.
At first, I had flattered myself by thinking that Alicia might be spending time with me because she was interested in me. To be fair, she's a very attractive woman, athletic and graceful, and that sort of thing clouds one's judgement. But I had to come around to the fact that she was just trying to teach me to run the business. I wasn't the cool, slightly older guy, but the kid who needs straightened out before he made a mess of things. She was charming with me, but she's charming with everyone. If she wanted to spend social time with me, she'd have done it in the past couple of weeks. It was time to get over the silly crush.
Her volunteering wasn't all about saving the hapless manager, either. Alicia was definitely trying to ensure that Aria Company got some operating capital out of the apartment budget. And I was completely fine about siphoning off some money to start up that business. Taking care of the refugees here was my business, after all. I couldn't be sure gondola rides would be successful here, but I could be sure that it was an enjoyable activity. Fun for the whole family!
Speaking of the whole family, I dashed off a quick note to my fellow managers on the forum:
Quote:Labster 12:06 PM
Well, I have one piece of good news, at least for myself. While I am very allergic to cats, it turns out that I am not allergic to President Aria, our first resident furball. For normal cats, my nose starts to bleed after about 10 minutes in a room where the cat normally lives, whether it's present or not. But apparently I'm not allergic to Mars-cats, or whatever the heck President Aria is. (Are cat heads supposed to be that shape?)
When I first saw him, I was worried that I was going to have to ask Washuu-chan to do an experimental treatment to get rid of my allergies. What's the worst that could happen? But with the Santa Anas forecast to blow, I might still be tempted.
I went back into my apartment, and began to heat up a frozen tamale for myself. By the time I was done eating, I saw the replies:
Quote:Washuu-chan 12:17 PM
Labster, we should talk. I'm always looking for subjects, and I have the most fascinating immunological theories I've been wanting to test out in humans.
Peggy 12:19 PM
I was about to say something, then suddenly I decided I'm not so sure.
Finally, an anime girl who wanted to spend time with me, getting to know my body intimately. As a guinea pig, of course.
I should have known better than to joke about Washuu-chan when she was the only one who had hacked her way into the manager's forum. I started to wonder how much of Washuu's time in the OVAs on a keyboard doing sciencey stuff was actually just her reading Usenet alt groups.
Yet, I started to consider Washuu's modest proposal. It couldn't be worse than the sinus surgery I already had, right? Tenchi Masaki didn't seem to have PTSD, did he? Ryoko might have, though. Something made her turn to piracy, after all. At least as a pirate she was fighting global warming, so sayeth His Noodly Appendage.
This train of thought was fully derailed when a ping from my laptop indicated a new email. It was from the Boss Man, too. Sebastian dropped me a note that I had new tenants arriving tomorrow afternoon, and that I had better be ready to receive them. Ah yes, the traditional one-day notice for these things. He attached flight information and a brief profile of the new arrivals, written by the company agents who had delivered them to Singapore.
And, oh boy, those names I recognized.
4. Going in Circles
Tuesday, September 27, 2016
Los Angeles International Airport
I was sitting in a brand new van, going nowhere. I was intending to go somewhere, of course, but as so many other L.A. stories go, I was stuck in traffic on an overpass. Leave it to L.A. to design an airport like a freeway, only fill it with too many cars.
The white van was decorated only with a single azure stripe which flowed into a wide elliptical hook shape on the front door, with a blue oval dotting the inside of the hook. It was one of those so-called 15 passenger vans, though I was pretty sure you couldn't fit fifteen Americans in there. Right now though, the van only had two passengers.
The van lurched to life, then came to a sudden stop ten seconds later. I rolled forward in my seat. "Athena," I chided, "You have to look at the cars in front of him, too. He's got nowhere to go, so there's no reason to jerk forward."
"Sorry, Brent," she frowned. I really wish that I had been able to teach Athena Glory to drive with a smaller car, but it was pretty clear we were going to need a big vehicle to transport all of the residents of our apartments for outings, even for something as simple as for shopping.
The choice to buy the van was proven right yesterday, when I was informed that we'd be getting seven new tenants to live in our complex. And what tenants they would be – Chiyo, Osaka, Sakaki, Tomo, Yomi, Kagura, and Kaorin. Names that were already burned in my mind, as the students of Azumanga Daioh.
I was really excited to meet the characters of my favorite anime. At least, that's how I was supposed to feel, right? But I don't know though, I've never been much for fannish devotion. I've met famous actors and and Congressmembers, and they all just seem like ordinary folks to me; maybe they just shine a little more brightly.
So honestly, I was anxious. I wanted them to like me, and I wanted to like them. Liking someone on TV is not the same as knowing the real person. Real people have flaws and habits you don't see on-screen. But honestly honestly, I just wanted them to be happy here – and I wanted to make Yomi and Tomo laugh.
When the van finally inched forward to the international terminal, Athena hopped out, and I got into the driver's seat. Someone had to wait for our new arrivals – Athena was experienced at that, and not experience enough to drive solo, yet. I pulled the van around and began to circle the airport. "Fun".
Athena, for her part, had shown pretty good aptitude for motor vehicles, so long as she could keep her concentration. Having spent her youth piloting larger vehicles than this while dodging motorboats, the only thing that still tripped her up was the engine's sudden power. Technically, she had a regular driver's license, but that was only because HAL 9000 had been a little too helpful generating documentation for the displacees. I thought it better not to take chances.
At the terminal building, Athena carried a sign bearing the names of two of our passengers in large letters in two different scripts, lovingly written by our Japanese resident, Akari Mizunashi.
Quote:水原 MIZUHARA
榊 SAKAKI
It turns out that writing kanji manages to be difficult even if you have an example in front of you, and that a practiced hand makes all the difference. It's kind of old school, holding up a sign for VIP pickup, but people still do it. The modern way wouldn't do; I truly doubted they had opted for an interuniversal cell phone plan.
Anyway, the names chosen were something of a social hack; from watching the anime, those were the two most likely to spot their names and react appropriately. The report forwarded from Sebastian indicated that Tomo Takino appeared to be the group's leader, which made me wonder exactly what led to that tragic misunderstanding. Unless they were entirely different from fiction, the only way Tomo gets to be the leader is under the Peter Principle.
Athena texted me to come pick them up, but it took me another ten minutes to circle back around to the international terminal. When I arrived, I saw the silver-haired undine surrounded by seven Japanese young women in the shade of the wide concrete overhang. The tall one was conversing with Athena, while the rest of them looked appropriately bedraggled for passengers on a long flight from Singapore. Only one of them was chipper, and running around the group like a moron. I decided: nope, exact same Tomo as I would expect.
As I pulled the the curb, Athena yanked the van's doors open. The shorter one with long brown hair asked, "Miss Athena, are you a gal?" She had the widest eyes I had ever seen on a person from East Asia. That would be Osaka, codename Ayumu Kasuga – or is that backwards?
Athena did have light hair and tanned skin, but a closer inspection would have revealed only simple silver earrings and a complete lack of false fingernails. "Uh, yeah I guess?" she replied, ignorant of twentieth century fashion trends.
Kagura said, "Cool! It's going to be a laid-back place if they have gals working there." She was the tannest member of the group, though I was actually surprised that her swimmer's tan wasn't even darker, considering how late in the year it was. She definitely had the athletic arms of a practitioner of the aquatic arts.
Chiyo Mihama had the remnant of a recent sunburn on her neck and arms. She was dealing with the downside of pale skin, as exemplified by her twintails of orangish-red hair. I felt her pain – repeatedly, given my own complexion. And certainly, the warm, dry Santa Ana wind today wasn't helping. She sat down and dutifully buckled her seatbelt, but then realized that she couldn't reach the precious A/C vent above her head to point it toward her.
Luckily Sakaki was tall enough to reach Chiyo's vent from her adjacent seat. For all of the build-up in the anime, Sakaki wasn't really all that tall in person; I still had a a half-head on her. But her dark hair, long legs, and larger build definitely made her look more imposing than the rest of these women. I just had the advantage of knowing she was a real softie at heart.
Kaori and Yomi looked as if the trip did not suit them, and the brunettes dragged themselves aboard the van. It looks like the trip had really worn them out, however they got to our world.
In contrast, Tomo hopped in the seat right behind me and asserted, "Take us to the beach resort, and step on it, my good man!" She, like every one of the new arrivals, was a Japanese teenager. Pushing 155 centimeters, she wasn't even a whole head taller than the thirteen-year old Chiyo-chan – and that gap would be closing pretty soon. Tomo had a round face, wide eyes and an open-mouthed smile; her arm gestured forward into another mass of traffic.
"The beach, we definitely got. The resort…" I lingered. Athena was already shaking her head in the negative. "Oh come on, it's not that bad!"
Athena shrugged. She closed the side door, then hopped into the front with me. She toggled the radio off, and told me, "All seven here, only two bags."
"Oh," I nodded. "Shopping trip later." Still at the wheel, I fought my way away from the curb, and towards the lanes of cars that were actually moving.
She pulled a lever underneath the seat, and turned the chair all the way around. "Good morning, ladies. My name is Athena Glory, and I'm one of your fellow residents at your new apartment. Driving the car is Brent Laabs, your apartment manager."
"Hi everyone," I waved, not really looking behind me to keep my focus on the traffic ahead instead.
I heard a few obligatory yoroshiku behind me.
"If you need some help during your stay with us, you'll be able to find him in room 1 of the apartments.
"Now, if you look to the left, you can see the Theme Building, an example of futuristic Googie architecture. Built in 1960, it was designed to resemble a flying saucer." Athena was actually giving a tour. Incredible. She'd been here all of two weeks and she already knew more about the place than I did.
Behind me, Osaka pointed out the window, "Whoa, UFO!!"
"Very Space Age," Chiyo remarked.
As we drove to the edge of the airport, Tomo blurted, "Holy freaking crap those are giant letters!"
"What's an X-A-L?" Osaka asked. I was really happy to let our tour guide do her job.
The tenant report from Sebastian was right: they did speak English. Actually, really well, well enough that they were speaking it without even thinking about it. Not even talking to each other in Japanese, except for the occasional word. Interesting.
Their rooms were ready enough for now, on the north side of the second floor. Akari had convinced me to buy futons for the new arrivals' rooms. That way, they could decide on their own mattress and bed set, if they wanted one, and we could reuse the futons for guests. The beds that I had bought in haste were not exactly a hit – Athena wanted a firmer mattress, while little Alice wanted a softer mattress with no lumps in a four-poster.
The only thing that remained, then, was to partition the new group and hand out the keys.
"We have two bedroom apartments here, so you're going to have to pair up. Remember, it's not permanent, you can always switch later," I said. I watched with interest, because unlike the last time I couldn't anticipate exactly how this would go.
"Now who do I want to live with?" Yomi Mizuhara wondered aloud.
Tomo's hand shot up, "Ooh ooh me! Pick me!"
"Doesn't anyone want to room with me? Anyone at all?"
"Meeee!" Tomo's arms waved back and forth in front of Yomi's field of vision. "Pick me, meeee!"
Yomi sighed, "Fine. I wouldn't want anyone else to suffer Tomo."
"Yaaay!"
You could see the wheels turning in Kaorin's head, as her blush began radiating heat. She meekly offered, "Miss… Miss Saka…"
Tomo interjected, "Who's going to live with Chiyo-chan? We can't have her live alone, this is a dangerous, lawless country overrun by cowboy gangs with guns."
What, no tsukkomi from Yomi for that one?
"It's not that bad, Tomo," Chiyo explained, "I was already planning on living here."
"Don't worry Chiyo-chan, I will protect you," Sakaki declared.
A wide, innocent smile appeared on Chiyo's face, "Thank you so much, Miss Sakaki!"
"Miss Saka-aaah," Kaorin was clearly let down by this turn of events.
"Well, Ah guess that makes you'n me roomies. Please take real good care of me, Kagura," Osaka offered. Kagura returned her bow.
In the end, Tomo and Yomi got number 9, directly above my own apartment. Kaorin was next door in number 10, adjacent to Osaka and Kagura in number 11. Taking the other large corner apartment in number 12 were Sakaki and her ward Chiyo.
I was a little worried about one thing, though. "Are you okay with living alone, Kaorin?" Not that I had a solution or anything.
The short girl with her a perfectly angled shingle bob took her time to answer. "No, it's fine, I'm—" she paused, "I'm right in the middle of it all this time, so I'm not going to lose again!" She held her fists to her breast. "Oh, I'm sorry, don't mind me, I must be really tired or something."
I could have sworn I felt the heat radiating off her cheeks, but that was probably just a trick of the Devil Winds. "Nah, it's okay. Let me know if you need anything."
That day, they really didn't need much except a place to shower and sleep. We parceled out some basic T-shirts and shorts to people, just so that they'd have a change of clothing. The original idea had been to buy sweatpants, but it was too damned hot today. Shopping would have to come later.
The undines had arrived with whatever overnight bag they had packed for their train trip, while the schoolgirls from Azumanga Daioh had little more than the yen in their pockets. Still, it was spendable in the airport in Singapore, unlike the the Neo Venezian ducats my other tenants brought.
Akari organized a Japanese-style dinner to meet her new neighbors, but it was pretty clear from the start that the newcomers were fading fast. Whatever burst of speed that Tomo had possessed had clearly evaporated by now, her shoulders slouched and her head hung over her bowl of miso soup. As I later learned, they were doubly jet-lagged, losing a few hours to their entry into the universe, and of course the nine hour difference from the South China Sea.
The only newcomers engaging in conversation were Sakaki and Chiyo, who were enraptured by the local cat, and the fact that he could be president and chairman of a company. Aria Pokoteng was a little unsure of Sakaki at first, but once she called him handsome he knew she was trustworthy. Yomi looked like she was about to comment on Aria's appearance, but was distracted by Osaka's cranium about to fall into her own soup, and thrust out a hand to save her.
We pretty much gave up on the idea of a welcome party, but at least the residents got to know each other's faces and names. There was a little polite chit-chat after the meal, but within a few minutes after eating, all of the newcomers had excused themselves to return to their rooms. Despite meeting all of these celebrities from TV, the job wasn't turning out to be all that glamorous after all. At least Athena and Alice stayed behind to help me with the dishes.
5. Blowing in Warmth
Wednesday, September 28, 3:57 AM
Akari couldn't fall back to sleep tonight, and she didn't know why. Perhaps it was the Santa Ana winds blowing through the night, keeping her room uncomfortably warm. Or maybe it was something about the new arrivals in the apartment. Once she had woken up, her mind started going around in circles.
She had been thinking a lot about the youngest one, Chiyo-chan, she was called. Akari could imagine how she felt, as she too had left home at a young age to chase her dream in distant lands. But Chiyo-chan had left her home with no warning, and Akari could feel that she had left something important behind. So too had the tall girl, Sakaki-san, left something very dear to her behind. Akari had no idea how she knew this, but she could feel it inside.
She sighed. This wasn't getting her anywhere near sleep. She decided to put on clothes, and wander around outside for a while. Maybe a walk would tire her out.
She eschewed the elevator and walked down the stairs into the warm night. It wasn't exactly quiet out, with the offshore wind rustling leaves in the trees, bending tall palm trees towards the ocean. But the dry winds were comfortable to walk in at night. It felt like the warmth of daylight on her skin came from the rising crescent moon, like a long starlit eclipse.
With no particular destination, she wandered up onto the beach boardwalk, passing a couple sleeping beach bums along the way. It was so different, so empty without the tourists and surfers and hipsters, but she liked this side of Venice too.
Akari wandered up to the canal zone, and then crossed through towards downtown. The orange glow of street lamps guided her way through the night, wherever she happened to be going.
She sneezed so suddenly that it brought her to a halt. The wind brought plenty of things to tickle her nose, that was certain. That was one side-effect of the so-called Devil Winds, but they didn't seem to quite live up to the hype. There was nothing to be afraid of tonight; the last of the drunks had found their way home, and the roads were empty but for the occasional car.
Akari found herself following the rundown old train tracks embedded in the pavement of Pacific Avenue. They hadn't been here before, had they? She saw those lighted letters spelling out VENICE, strung across Windward Avenue, whipping back and forth as a gust of warm air flew past.
Then she heard the roar of something coming towards her, pushing through the wind. A minute later, a large vehicle bearing a single bright light turned onto the street, with several cars following behind. The boxy, cherry red locomotive led a set of six train cars down the old tracks. The brakes squealed as the train rolled to a halt near the Venetian-inspired building beneath the sign.
"What sort of train runs this late at night?" she asked no one. Akari couldn't stop herself from walking closer to investigate. While the cars had the number 666 emblazoned on the side, a sign in the front car read "Starlight Express". "Huh," she uttered. And then, a few cats came leaping out of the passenger cars. Akari walked out into the middle of the street to get a closer look.
In the shadow of the train, she saw someone large with pointed ears in a blue railroad uniform and called out to him, "Cat Sìth!"
A tall orange creature turned to face her; it was oblong, with the skinniest of arms. Akari apologized, "Oh, sorry, I thought you were someone else." And he started to turn back around.
But all of ten seconds later, curiosity got the better of her. "Excuse me, but are you a cat?"
A booming, masculine voice emerged from the bipedal feline's mouth, "Now that is an excellent question! Now, you wouldn't happen to be one of those people who believe that other people are cats just because they have pointed ears and fur and a long tail, would you?" His eyes grew narrow and his fur became a roiling red color.
"Eep!" And then she thought about it a minute, and said, "No, but are you not a cat?"
His fur returned to the orange color. "I am as much a cat as you are a human, child."
"My name is Akari Mizunashi? What's yours?"
"Is that your true name, I wonder?"
"I think so?"
"No, your true name has not yet been given," the cat creature determined.
OK, this was managing to be even weirder than she expected. "Hahii?"
"You may call me Mihama."
"Where does this train go, Mihama-san?" She asked earnestly, "Can it take me home again?"
Mihama's skin shifted to a swirl of reds and yellows, and he swayed back and forth for a minute. His skin shifted back to its normal hue, and he remarked, "No ticket."
"I see," Akari said sadly.
"All we have right now are one-way fares." His giant eyes narrowed, and after a moment he spoke again. "You are the one who heard the calls, are you not? Follow me."
She followed him aft past a few passenger cars, where they came upon a juvenile cat with distinctive brown markings, sitting on the pavement next to a large white dog. The dog had a thick coat and a plume of a tail, which she identified as a Great Pyrenees. Akari couldn't make out what kind of cat it was, concluding it must be a mixed breed.
Mihama's skinny right arm wiggled in an entirely impossible fashion for a few seconds, until it pointed steadily towards the cat. "This one seeks the branch of the sacred tree. Will you take her there?"
The idea tickled something at the back of her mind. And well, she couldn't leave a cat alone on her quest, could she? Without hesitation, she pledged, "I will."
The little cat's eyes met Akari's and her face softened, as if to say that she would trust this human. The dog stood up, and rubbed against Akari, as if to say that he had trusted her all along.
"I must go. We must not get off track," Mihama said, as he floated back aboard the train.
"Just… If you see Cat Sìth, tell him that I want to see him again, please."
"Foolish child," he boomed, "to seek the fair folk. I suppose that's why he likes you. I will relay the message true." He returned inside, and the hum of the locomotive rumbled through the street.
"Well, it's late tonight. Will you come home with me?" she asked the little cat.
"Nyan." Akari and her quest companions started walking back towards her apartment. Meanwhile, the train departed, following invisible tracks up into the sky.
The cat seemed very determined, while the dog followed alongside Akari with an easy gait. Akari didn't feel foolish, like he had said. Although she realized that she had adopted a couple of strays on the request of a catlike—thingy—Mihama, which was perhaps not the wisest thing to do.
Wait, she thought and blushed, he said Cat Sìth liked her?
She had ended up walking even further than she had intended, and then all of that happened, so by the time she returned to the apartment, morning twilight was creeping across the sky. Well, all she had to do was find a divine tree. That couldn't be too hard, right? There had to be a sakaki somewhere in America, right, or maybe just a really old oak.
And all at once, she realized how stupid she had been, and knew she was supposed to find Sakaki-san. Silly kitty riddle. Maybe this quest was almost over.
It wouldn't be kind to wake them—but they were jet-lagged, and would likely be awake anyway. She decided that it wouldn't be right to delay a quest, and journeyed up to the second floor.
Akari held out her hands. "Do you need any help up the stairs, kitty?"
The kitten ignored her offer and leapt up the steps. The dog, on the other hand, came and brushed his head against her hands.
"Not you, silly dog, you're too heavy," she giggled. "Come on!"
She walked up to the second story, and unlocked the door. And then Akari knocked on the first door on her right.
About sixty seconds and a couple of knocks later, the door opened to reveal the imposing presence of Sakaki, wearing a loose T-Shirt, shorts, and a frown. Akari reflexively took a step back.
"I'm sorry for intruding," Akari said timidly, "but I was wondering if you knew this cat?"
Sakaki looked down, and a smile lit up her face.
"Maya!" Sakaki picked up the wildcat and nuzzled her. "Maya!" The cat returned her attention with a little lick on the nose. "You really did find me!" Holding the cat in front of her, she spun around and around with a big smile on her face, humming happily.
And as suddenly as it began, her mien became serious, as if she had caught herself doing something deeply embarrassing. "I am in your debt," Sakaki said formally.
"I didn't do anything, really."
But Sakaki had turned her attention elsewhere. "Sorry to make you wait, Tadakichi-san. Chiyo-chan is in here. She opened the door to Chiyo's room, and Tadakichi trotted over to her futon, walked in, three circled, and lay down right in the middle of the bed.
This was enough to wake Chiyo up, though. "Bwah?" She rubbed her eyes. "Oh, Tadakichi-san, is that you?"
He stood up and gave Chiyo a good sniff on the face, while she petted his head.
"How did you even get here?"
Sakaki explained, "Akari-san brought him here."
"I didn't do anything, really. Maya did most of the work, I think."
"Thank you so much!" she said while hanging around Tadakichi's neck. "You too, Maya."
"Mew."
Since it was now past sunrise, and all three were now fully awake and excited, Chiyo convinced the other two to join her radio exercises. Not that any radio station in L.A. had broadcasted them for decades, but with the help of YouTube lots of things are possible.
They moved downstairs into the yard, and started the calisthenics. Mr. Tadakichi stood guard over his humans, sniffing around the building. He must have decided he liked the place, because he began staking out a territorial claim with head and leg held high. As for the iriomote wildcat, Maya just collapsed on the ground, content that she was finally where she needed to be.
6. Ti Kallisti
Thursday, September 29, 2016, 9:45 AM
There was a knock on my apartment's door. Answering it, I was met by the smiling face of Tomo Takino.
"Manager, my room needs more towels."
"Sorry. I thought we left some in all of the rooms." I opened a closet and pulled out a couple spare towels and washcloths. "Here ya go."
She took them and went merrily along her way.
Ten minutes later, another rap on my chamber door. I went to the answer it, and I was surprised to see that Tomo had come back again. As soon as I cracked open the door, she began, "Hey, where's the complementary breakfast served?"
"Huh? We don't do that."
"Why not?"
"What do you mean, why not? We're an apartment building, not a hotel."
"Really?"
"Of course really."
"Oh well." Tomo began to walk away, but turned back to say, "If you're going to compete in today's market, you really should offer some more amenities." She stayed long enough to catch the confused look on my face, and only then she continued back up upstairs.
8:49 PM
Yomi was used to Tomo invading her space, but now that she lived with all of her schoolmates living in the same apartment complex, everyone except Osaka had managed to wander into Yomi's living room. Not that she minded, as it was not like she had anything important to study for.
"I still can't believe we're time travellers. It's so romantic!" Kaori said to the room. Or perhaps just to herself; there were often times when she couldn't tell if she was being ignored.
It felt like another one of those times for half a minute, until Yomi set down her book. "I can't believe it either."
"I know, right? It's like maybe, because of tradition, something couldn't happen before, but now in the future, maybe two people can— they can—"
"That's not what I meant. Doesn't something seem odd with this picture?" Yomi held up a copy of the complete Lord of the Rings next to her face. The book was on loan from the manager, with a bookmark a good hundred pages in.
By now, everyone had tuned in to the conversation, but met Yomi's query with blank stares nonetheless.
Tomo murmured, "No? Yomi was always a huge nerd."
"What I don't understand is why I can speak and write English so well."
"Eh?" wondered Chiyo-chan. "What do you mean?" She put down her own book, an American edition of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.
"Well, I know that you were always fluent in English, but that's because you're so smart."
"She's a fricking genius," Tomo inserted.
While hitting Tomo's forehead with a convenient paper fan, Yomi calmly continued, "None of the rest of us were quite that good. Even Tomo was only passable at speaking English, and she was better than me. But now... why does Osaka speak English with a Southern accent?"
"Something has changed us," Sakaki declared.
"Right. That ... or we're not who we remember ourselves to be."
The room turned absolutely silent as everyone thought through the implications of that thought.
Eventually, it was Chiyo who broke the silence, her eyes welling up with the beginnings of tears, "Yomi, if I'm not Chiyo Mihama, who am I? What am I, a clone?"
Sakaki knelt down to Chiyo's eye level, and took her hand. "No. You are Chiyo-chan. I don't think anyone could replace all of the little details about ourselves. Nor the way we feel about each other."
"Miss Sakaki!" Chiyo hugged Sakaki like a circle around the sun.
Kaori sat quietly in the corner watching the scene, her face reddening as her hands were clasped together.
Tomo decided that this was not the moment to use her joke about clones, even though Chiyo and Sakaki's Lily Rank just increased. Contrary to popular opinion, Tomo Takino did have her limits. She internally cursed that she'd probably have to wait another few months for an opportunity to use that gag, but so it goes in comedy.
Moreover, what Yomi had said really was troubling. Tomo had been thinking about it too, silently amazed at the world of multilingual puns that had opened up to her and Yomi. It was stressful enough to find yourself adrift in another world. But it was quite a bit worse to know that you were not quite the same person you had been before.
"Um, why don't we just ask the manager if he knows?" Kagura queried.
Tomo narrated, "Baka Ranger Red uses her special power: Ask the teacher!"
I heard a rather loud banging on my door.
"Kanrinin-san, Kanrinin-saaaan!"
I paused the DVR, hopped out of my chair, and walked over to the door. I really hoped nothing was wrong in this old building, because it's not fun finding a plumber at 9 PM. My grandfather was a plumber by trade, but if genetics is right, that means I'm only 25% plumber. Which is just not enough.
"Oh hi... everyone." The entire cast of Azumanga Daioh, sans teachers, was in front of my door. Including an actual wildcat. Just great. "What seems to be the problem?"
Kagura glanced at Yomi, who only returned the words, "Your idea, Red."
Kagura took a deep breath. "Why can I speak English so well? I never used to be able to talk this well. Why does Osaka's Kansai accent sound like the American South in English? It's all so strange."
"Well, that's... complicated." I mean, I had a guess, but I didn't really know how to break it to them.
Yomi asserted, "More to the point: How did coming to this world change us? I don't buy the timeslip story; there's something subtly different about this world. And why would some aristocrat decide to house us all for free so fast? Just look out the door, and you can see some beach bums with worse luck than we've had. So why are we so important?"
Yikes. "Well, you had better all come inside." I guess it was time to give the girls "The Talk". I hadn't expected to be able to hide it for very long, but really – Koyomi is scary-smart. The girls of Aria still hadn't figured out this much in two weeks of living here, much less two days. "Nothing gets by you, Mizuhara, does it."
She just smiled and took a seat on my couch.
"OK, I don't really understand it myself, but I know a few facts you're missing. I think you're right about being from a different universe. There's no record of a real person named Mizuhara Koyomi living in the Tokyo Metro Area in 2003. Or of that of your friends or teachers."
"No real person?" asked Chiyo. She looked like she was starting to tear up.
"Yeah, and I don't mean you're not real people, sorry, I'm screwing this up. There is, however, a fictional record of your life. You all are the starring characters of a manga and anime called Azumanga Daioh. Only a few of us even know that you're in this world. Most everyone thinks you're completely fictional."
There was a moment of stunned silence from the assembled young women, finally broken by Tomo. "At least we got an anime series." And then everyone started talking all at once.
Having waded through various unanswerable existential questions, we finally got to the important question, posed by Kaorin: "What the hell is 'Azumanga Daioh' supposed to mean?"
"Something like 'Azuma's manga for Daioh magazine'. The author is Kiyohiko Azuma. What? Don't give me that look. It's not even bad compared to some of the light novel titles these days, some of them are like fifty words long."
"So if I'm getting this straight, our real father is this Azuma guy who wrote us all?"
A sultry Tomo teased, "Don't worry Kaorin, we're not sisters by blood."
"Wha! What!" Kaori turned a bright shade of red and started waving her arms rapidly. "That's not what I meant!"
I chuckled, but took back control of the conversation anyway. "Osaka, Chiyo: you'll understand what Tomo meant when you're older. Anyway, I don't know if Azuma-sensei is your father, or if you existed in a different universe than mine – and Azuma-sensei only channeled his knowledge of your world into storytelling. Maybe true creativity only comes from God, and we can only tell stories that He has already created."
"But looping back to the anime: why does Osaka speak with perfect English in a Southern accent?" Yomi asked. "How does that make sense unless we come from the anime?"
"Why are y'all so worried about little ol' me?"
"I have a whole lifetime of memories; I don't think a TV show or manga could describe everything that is me." Sakaki always keeps her cool, on screen or in reality.
"I don't think you have that much to worry about, Yomi. You're all great girls, and real enough to me." And, I thought, the problem with our kind of mind – me and Yomi – is that one never knows when to stop asking questions without easy answers.
Kagura had a question. "So what kind of anime is it? I mean, it doesn't show us doing, well... you know."
"Don't worry, there's a minimum of fanservice." I added jazz hands for emphasis. "Just the lives of seven ordinary high school girls. Come on, let's go watch an episode in the common room. It'll be natsukashii for all of you to see your first year of high school again, I'm sure. Heck, I wish I had an anime of my school life, it'd be way better than a yearbook."
We made our way across the hall, and I hooked up my laptop to the flat-panel TV. Everyone sat down to watch, some on the floor because I still didn't have enough furniture yet – yet another thing I had to fix. After 24 minutes of laughs and smiles, the melodious "Raspberry Heaven" began to play. Everyone was in much better spirits now.
Chiyo spoke first, "It's so weird to see myself as a cartoon. I mean I'm not 2D, but that girl looks so much like me, living my life."
Kagura asked, "Hey, when do I get to be in it?"
"Episode 3, I think. You're still in the other class, right?"
"Oh yeah, that's right."
Tomo asked, "So if we're all in the anime, who's the most popular character?"
"Oh, that," I said. "Well, the most popular would have to be Osaka."
"WHAT???!?!" was the near-unanimous response, with the remaining response being, "But Sakaki-san is the coolest!" Geez, I gotta be careful answering Tomo's questions, so many cans of worms.
With the politeness of a Southern belle, Osaka laughed. "He he he, some girls got it."
7. Recommendations
Most everyone wondered back to their rooms to consider everything they'd learned tonight. At least they were in good enough spirits now to consider instead of worry. And for that, I really needed to thank the person who was still lurking around, examining all of the knicknacks in my room. "Tomo, seriously, thanks for defusing that situation. I mean, I have no idea how to handle things like this."
"Yeah, well if you can't understand something, you gotta make a joke out of it. Until you do understand. Or not."
"Sorry to turn your world upside down. You are now sailor senshi, and the cake is a lie. Heavy stuff."
"The cake is a lie?"
"Man, when did Portal come out? You missed out on so much pop culture, girl."
"Omigosh, I really did!" Tomo realized. "So. I have 15 years of manga to catch up on. Any recommendations? Is Inuyasha still going?"
"Heh, no, she finally finished that one. But One Piece is still going strong!"
"Oh man, really? Awesome."
"Yeah, I never got into that one."
"You should, it's pretty good. Or at least it was. So what anime has there been that I have to see?"
"Right, what would I watch if I had been cryogenically frozen for 15 years, so that I don't miss out on the great anime of the future?!"
"Baaka."
"Oh right!" I remembered her taste in anime from the show. "Tomo, you need to watch The Woman Called Fujiko Mine. Like, right now."
"Maji de?!" Tomo's eyes turned into giant twinkles.
"C'mon, let's stop everything but our beating hearts and go watch it."
"I have no idea what that means but I am so in!"
Tomo plopped down on my couch, and I queued up the first episode of the newish Lupin III spinoff. It was only as I sat down beside her that I thought, that maybe inviting a girl I had met three days ago to my room to watch an anime containing this many bare breasts was not the brightest idea. But Tomo was already enraptured by the first frames nonetheless. Maybe this would all work out OK.
Friday, September 30, 2016, 11:11 AM
Quote:Labster 11:11 AM
Well, today I had to have The Talk with the girls. You know, the one where I explain where little girls come from. It turns out you all came from a stork carrying an anime DVD and your life is a sitcom called Azumanga Daioh.
They handled it pretty well, all except for the online character popularity polls – they all agree there's a subtle wrongness to this world if Osaka is the most popular girl. All except Osaka herself, who is preening at the news.
I still need to go over this with my other tenants from Aria, who still haven't picked up on it – maybe it's how they arrived in the world, which was apparently by riding on the Galaxy Express. At least I know they'll be okay with the news. They all have an inner strength they can draw on. It's more myself I'm worried about, but if I've got one of these under my belt, the next one should be easier.
I hope.
Actually, let me know if you have any advice on how to break the news to folks.
I had just finished updating the manager's forum on my progress, hoping they had some advice on how to break it to people. How on Earth do you tell people that their life has been fictionalized? That was definitely not in the job description. I was pretty sure I had screwed it up the first time; I basically made Chiyo-chan cry and that was not a good feeling.
There was a knock on my door dislodge me from my reverie. Answering it, I was met by the smiling face of Tomo Takino. That cheered me up a bit.
"Manager, my room needs more towels."
"I just gave you towels yesterday."
"Yeah, I left those on the floor, but the maids never came by to change the linens yesterday."
"Tomo, you know this is not a hotel, right?"
"I know that I was promised a beach resort."
"Well, you're not getting one," I said with finality.
She stared at me for a good twenty seconds, then began, "Gimme more towels, please?" She held out her hand.
"No! Sheesh." And I shut the door.
Five minutes later – Knock-knock – Tomo again. "I need a room service menu."
"Tomo, we're not a beach resort."
"But I'm huuungrrry…"
"Cook for yourself." I closed the door.
Another knock, another Tomo. "Can you show me the way to your onsen? No peeping, 'kay?"
I sighed.
Tomo was really annoying in real life. There's a theory of comedy that funny things are essentially pain that happens to someone else.
"C'mon, tell me, tell me!"
I walked over to Alicia's desk in the office, picked up a colorful piece of paper, and marched right back to the door. I handed Tomo the brochure to the La Brea Tar Pits, and slammed the door.
I heard the words yelled through the door, "This is so going on Yelp! You hear me!"
Omake
A gray PT-boat pulled up along side the boat. Suddenly Yukari-sensei appeared on the deck of the boat. "What are you morons doing on an amusement park boat in the ocean?"
"Oh no!" Tomo cried! "It's the Teacher from the Black Lagoon!"
"Kitto daijoubu da yo." - Sakura Kinomoto
