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Arc ID: 134068, super yarn
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okay, i've given it a few solo tests and tweaked it as much as i think i can, try it out and tell me what you like/hate, i'll try to be open to
critasiems 
Take the version you currently have saved to your hard drive and run it through a spell check. This will catch a LOT of your spelling errors. All sentences
need a full stop at the end and a capital letter at the front. When you use 'I', it needs to be capitalized. At no point do you mention it's a sequel to the other Yarnball missions, which is fine, except you don't actually explain what Yarnball does, or that the Family is behind it. It has potential, but right now it's buried in a lot of errors in the text.
okay, made the edits, as for the family ties, well all the "family Cats" say thier working for the family in return for yarn ball if you check thier
info .... that and the fact that i know shit all about what you and Fox's plans are for Yarn ball, the more i learn, the better this mish will be.... i hope >.> 
If you want to drop me the saved mission file, I can edit for grammar and punctuation and whatnot - I may not be as good as Ran or Matrix, but I'll give it
a shot "No can brain today. Want cheezeburger." From NGE: Nobody Dies, by Gregg Landsman http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5579457/1/NGE_Nobody_Dies
On spelling, punctuation and capitalisation:
Don't wanna sound like we're picking on you here, DS. We're not. At least I hope we're not. I'm not, anyway. It's just that, well...precise English isn't really an issue in normal board posts and in-game chat. But when you're talking published work like fanfiction, or even a mission arc like this one, then yes, it does matter. You really need to make sure everything is properly formatted, that there's no obvious spelling mistakes or bad punctuation. I think grammar's a little more flexible there, since a lot of mission text would be speech. But even there, you wanna be careful. Most folks want to play stuff, they don't want to edit it for you. Of course, among the SG we'll do both, but if you're making stuff for a wider audience... Speaking personally, when I'm chatting with someone or reading board posts, I don't really notice all-lowercase text or anything like that. I focus on the communication. But there isn't that same sense of immediacy and another person when I'm reading a story or NPC text in an arc. I notice mistakes. There's also the issue of length. When you're talking in-game or even posting here, the messages are short. In a piece of fiction or a mission arc, well, we're reading a lot more text at a time. So it needs to be easily comprehensible. Obvious errors make stuff less clear and readable. Now. When you're making a mission arc, what can you do? Well, what I always do is type my text in a word processor first, spell check, and THEN copy-paste into the mission editor. I do this because, quite honestly, my spelling sucks as well. But since I know my spelling is awful, I go the extra mile to make sure I don't make mistakes. Not where it matters. Granted, I run City of Heroes in windowed mode; I don't know how well alt-tabbing or window switching works for you. If switching back and forth is a problem, you can grab one of those text templates that list all the MA fields, and do the bulk of your writing offline. Also, the mission architect files saved locally are plain text, so you can always open one of those in a text editor as well. -- Acyl
okay, besides the fact that i failed english (no joke, i never passed it) was the mission. a) fun and b) something you would recomend to a freind?
okay, i acidently unpublished my mish, but i;ve ran every text box through word, so all typos are now words fault, not mine 
Ran this with Bat Butt (level 27 TA/Arch Defender) on CL:2
Don't feel bad about this, I'm going over it with a fine tooth comb. notes as I go through this: First mission clue: "take him to the werahouse" should be "warehouse" Second mission boss was quite a challenge on Bat Butt, due to her low damage output. I had to go get DS, and then watch him get smacked around as I desperately debuffed the EB. I also liked the superdine labs giving you a buff  As i mentioned in game he can be a rather good tank compared to BB Overall: FUN! if a bit stressful -Terry ----- "so listen up boy, or pornography starring your mother will be the second worst thing to happen to you today" TF2: Spy
*grins like a loon* thats all i ned to hear . oh and the buff thing, thats buitl in, didn't mess with that, but it dose rais the question, your geting a
buff from super yarn... good or bad > |
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