Found on police band missions...

[Evil Midnight Lurker]

The Scroll of Bokol: penned by those who believe life here began out there...
The Book of K'Gar: The holy text of an alien religion from the future, it has been prophecied that no one will be able to decipher it until 2260

--Sam
"How dare you! I know evil is bad, but come on! Eating kittens is just plain... plain wrong, and no one should do it! EVER!"

[Bob Schroeck]

-- Bob
---------
The Internet Is For Norns.

[Sofaspud]

I can't remember the exact phrasing, but I got a kick out of one that wanted me to find "File X".

--sofaspud
--"Listening to your kid is the audio equivalent of a Salvador Dali painting, Spud." --OpMegs

[Evil Midnight Lurker]

Circle of Thorns members involved in the disappearance of one Betty-Jo Bialofski.
Now you remember! You read about it in the papers, but they just called her "Nancy." (...) the cursed gemstone, the Third Eye of Danger.

...Priceless.
--Sam
"What kind of a chump do you take me for?"
"First class!"

[Evil Midnight Lurker]

And I just rescued Dr. Priddy from the Skulls, who'd kidnapped her from the BB Institute. "Laugh while you can, $heroname!"
--Sam
"Wherever you go, there you are."