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Teaser the Third
06-05-2012, 08:17 PM
I looked at my companions, and with a smile held a finger up to
my lips in the universal (among humanoids with lips, at least)
sign for silence. As Charlie and Sirius watched, grinning like
maniacs, I slipped up behind the twins as stealthily as I could
manage. (Which, if I do say so myself, is pretty damned
stealthy.)
"Do you want to keep at it, boys?" I asked them suddenly. "Or
can I just go ahead and open it now?"
When both boys jerked in surprise, Sirius and Charlie cracked up.
Gotta love people who appreciate sophisticated humor.
The twins -- I hadn't been clued in yet on which was Fred and
which was George -- looked at me for a moment as though they
couldn't believe someone had gotten the drop on them. Then they
exchanged glances before, in reasonable synchrony, stepping back
to bow and wave me on to the crate. "By all means, Professor,"
one said.
"Don't let us stand in your way," the other followed on the heels
of the first.
"Although we enjoy the challenge," the first continued.
"We'd rather see what was inside," the second concluded.
"Thank you," I said as I stepped between them, wary of some gag
or prank thanks to the extensive stories Charlie had told me
about them. "Twinspeak, eh? Nice trick," I added offhandedly
as I ran my hands along the lid of the crate. "You do that a
lot?"
Out of the corner of my eye I saw Thing One shrug. "Not as much
as some people believe." I turned around to look at them.
"It's harder than you might think," Thing Two added.
"But if we get in the right rhythm," Thing One offered.
"We can make anything *sound* like it." This time I saw the
other one shrug. "It's mainly about picking up on each other's
cues. As long as we say *something* that makes sense in the
context..."
And then he pointed at his brother, who grinned, and then made a
show of pretending to think hard. After a moment he smiled and
held up a finger as though just coming up with an idea. "...Then
it sounds like we're reading each other's minds and finishing
each other's sentences!" The two of them then grinned, laughed,
and shook hands, congratulating each other -- for what, I don't
know, but it was amusing to watch.
I looked at Charlie and Sirius, over on the other end of the
porch, and crossed my arms across my chest to indicate each twin
with a forefinger. "I *like* them, they're silly."
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
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Ah yes. The twins are always so very amusing to see in action. 
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It makes sense that the twinspeak -- which they do far less often in the books than they do in fanfiction -- is as much a gag as anything else they put their minds to.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
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Bob Schroeck Wrote:I looked at Charlie and Sirius, over on the other end of the
porch, and crossed my arms across my chest to indicate each twin
with a forefinger. "I *like* them, they're silly." Misquoting the gremlin from Falling Hare here?
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
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Among other Warners characters, yes.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
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Want to read.... more. Much much more.
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i wanna know what Doug is about to open, and who it's going to catch in the backlash
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Quote:"I *like* them, they're silly."
The use of this line that came to my mind first was Speedy Gonzales talking about Sylvester, and referring to him as "that pussycat fellow." I don't recall the episode title.
-----
Big Brother is watching you. And damn, you are so bloody BORING.
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Zojojojo Wrote:i wanna know what Doug is about to open, and who it's going to catch in the backlash Well, obviously he's going to open the crate...
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
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Quote:robkelk wrote:
Quote:Well, obviously he's going to open the crate...
The twins then bowed to me, and thanked me effusively. "High
praise indeed," Thing One said, wiping away an imaginary tear.
"But enough of us, it's time to open that wonderful box."
I glanced sidelong at him. "For all you know, it could hold
nothing but my dirty laundry." The two of them just did a
synchronized eye roll and hung elaborate and complementary
"Please, kind sir, I was *not* born yesterday" expressions on
their faces.
Laughing, I turned back to the crate and decided to make a show
of opening it. I carefully and obviously touched the four points
(unmarked, of course) on the lid that needed to sense my magical
signature. Then I laid my hand over the spot where a latch would
be if the crate were a steamer trunk, and recited the passphrase
("I wasn't built for comfort, I was built for speed") that would
complete the unlocking.
Then I dramatically flung the top back and over to bang on the
far side of the crate, then dropped the side to reveal my beloved
motorcycle, all two and a half shiny black-and-chrome meters of
it.
This isn't a spoiler because the reader already knows what's in the crate. In fact, I think the loading and shipping of the crate is mentioned in one of the other teasers...
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
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not even a spring snake snuck in by charlie? i'm a little disappointed, but look forward to the reactions nonetheless!
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"The Mundanes have a saying: Any Sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic."
Dark mutterings from the Slytherin side of the room accompanied confusion from the Gryffindor side.
"Well, think about it," Professor Sangnoir continued. "A man in a dark trenchcoat waves something in his hands just 'so' and a jet of fire shoots several meters... oh, right... several yards away, setting buildings and his enemies on fire. Just from that description, such as it is, can you tell me if the man in the trenchcoat is, in your local parlance, a Wizard or a Muggle?"
"A Wizard of course!" Draco scoffed.
Professor Sangnoir's smile nearly bisected his head. "No, this would be a Mundane with a flamethrower. Not an ounce of wand-waving or alchemy, just the pure abuse of natural physics..."
''We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat
them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.''
-- James Nicoll
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I always wanted the Professor of Muggle Studies to take a class on a field trip to a local shooting range, so he could show the effects of a handgun on a watermelon (or marrow, or pumpkin, or something suitably juicy with a thick rind). Sadly, I think that would never happen, since handgun laws are very different in the UK than around here. I have no doubt that North American wizards and witches have a much higher respect for armed Muggles than their British counterparts, what with our wacky fascination with being well-armed.
-----------
"The new professor is an American?" asked Ron. "Aren't they very violent?"
"Well, he said he's a soldier," said Hermione. "But that doesn't mean he's violent, Ron."
"But the Americans all have guns," protested Ron. "And they believe in the right to arm bears, or something...."
"I don't think that's quite right, Ron," said Harry.
"Bears don't have arms, Ron," said Luna from down the table. "Though they do look like it when they stand up and wave at you."
Ebony the Black Dragon
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Ebony Wrote:I always wanted the Professor of Muggle Studies to take a class on a field trip to a local shooting range, so he could show the effects of a handgun on a watermelon (or marrow, or pumpkin, or something suitably juicy with a thick rind). Sadly, I think that would never happen, since handgun laws are very different in the UK than around here. I have no doubt that North American wizards and witches have a much higher respect for armed Muggles than their British counterparts, what with our wacky fascination with being well-armed.
-----------
"The new professor is an American?" asked Ron. "Aren't they very violent?"
"Well, he said he's a soldier," said Hermione. "But that doesn't mean he's violent, Ron."
"But the Americans all have guns," protested Ron. "And they believe in the right to arm bears, or something...."
"I don't think that's quite right, Ron," said Harry.
"Bears don't have arms, Ron," said Luna from down the table. "Though they do look like it when they stand up and wave at you." I dunno, I get the feeling that most pureblood wizards, at least, thoroughly discount guns as effective weapons.
I mean, when a senior ministry official uses the term "firelegs" in all seriousness... you can't help but laugh.
--
Sucrose Octanitrate.
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ECSNorway Wrote:Ebony Wrote:I always wanted the Professor of Muggle Studies to take a class on a field trip to a local shooting range, so he could show the effects of a handgun on a watermelon (or marrow, or pumpkin, or something suitably juicy with a thick rind). Sadly, I think that would never happen, since handgun laws are very different in the UK than around here. I have no doubt that North American wizards and witches have a much higher respect for armed Muggles than their British counterparts, what with our wacky fascination with being well-armed.
-----------
"The new professor is an American?" asked Ron. "Aren't they very violent?"
"Well, he said he's a soldier," said Hermione. "But that doesn't mean he's violent, Ron."
"But the Americans all have guns," protested Ron. "And they believe in the right to arm bears, or something...."
"I don't think that's quite right, Ron," said Harry.
"Bears don't have arms, Ron," said Luna from down the table. "Though they do look like it when they stand up and wave at you." I dunno, I get the feeling that most pureblood wizards, at least, thoroughly discount guns as effective weapons.
I mean, when a senior ministry official uses the term "firelegs" in all seriousness... you can't help but laugh. Yeah, that attitude would probably last until they saw what an average scoped hunting rifle can do at ranges that they have trouble seeing. Pureblood or not, when a Muggle can kill you from a quarter of a mile away, you pay attention.
And I know not this "firelegs." Google indicates a species of spider.
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A wizarding malaprop for "firearms"... but I don't remember seeing it in the books. (Then again, I last reread the series two years or more ago.)
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
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istr seeing "fireleg" referring to a flintlock pistol or even something older like a blunderbus in some period literature (kidnapped? something of that era or older, anyway) ... because it kind of looks like a leg, and spits fire, you see...
it definitely tickled a "i've seen this before" center...
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Zojojojo Wrote:istr seeing "fireleg" referring to a flintlock pistol or even something older like a blunderbus in some period literature (kidnapped? something of that era or older, anyway) ... because it kind of looks like a leg, and spits fire, you see...
it definitely tickled a "i've seen this before" center... Ah, much like a sawed-off shotgun is called a "hogleg" from time to time, because of the shape.
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Bob Schroeck Wrote:A wizarding malaprop for "firearms"... but I don't remember seeing it in the books. (Then again, I last reread the series two years or more ago.) IIRC, the phrase was from book 5. Harry was with Arthur at the Ministry of Magic while awaiting his trial for using magic to drive off the pair of dementors that attacked him and his cousin. Arthur was talking to an auror (possibly Kingsley) about the ongoing hunt for Sirius Black, and the term fireleg was used.
----------------------------------------------------
"Anyone can be a winner if their definition of victory is flexible enough." - The DM of the Rings XXXV
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I just stumbled over it by accident -- Chapter 7 of Order of the Phoenix -- Kingsley Shacklebolt says "firelegs" and gets corrected by Arthur Weasley.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
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i can see how wizards would latch onto... wizards have a tendency to think "close enough" for any muggle things they don't understand... "fire arm" -> "fire leg" .... arm, leg, what's the difference. close enough.
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Although they might actually get it right when you tell them why it's firearm and not fireleg.
"Arms. As in weapons. In this case, a weapon that uses potent, fast burning fire to move a projectile at the speed of sound through a tube. Therefore, firearms."
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"what's this 'speed of sound' thing? sound is... you make a noise, you hear a noise.. how can it have a speed? silly muggles"
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"You know of echoes, right? You know they aren't always caused by a creature that repeats whatever you say. The time between when you call out and when you hear the echo is the time it takes for the sound you made to hit something, like a solid rock wall, and travel back to you. In fact, if you find a large enough room without any tapestries, say something the size of the Great Hall, then you'll get a pretty good echo in there. If you need more proof, go watch a thunderstorm and tell me why when lightning strikes at a distance the thunder doesn't come right away."
First you prove that it happens... and then once you got their interest, you tell them why and how it happens. And pretty soon, DADA turns into The Engineer's Guide to Crippling Your Opponents. 
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In The Malloreon, the last book I think, the Voice that speaks in Garion's head explains the speed of sound to him, using the memory of seeing someone cutting wood a long way away and hearing the sound of the axe hitting well after seeing it hit. Once he's grasped and accepted that, the Voice then goes on to explain that light has a speed, too.
-----
Big Brother is watching you. And damn, you are so bloody BORING.
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