ROTFL: The comeback

[CattyNebulart]

"Yes." The old man began to breathe normally. "Somehow Darth Vader with breasts is just less disturbing."
There are a few (at the moment just one but I'm sure it will grow) omake to the Shinji and WH40k story:
www.fanfiction.net/s/3920...3_Takeouts
E: "Did they... did they just endorse the combination of the JSDF and US Army by showing them as two lesbian lolicons moving in together and holding hands and talking about how 'intimate' they were?"
B: "Have you forgotten so soon? They're phasing out Don't Ask, Don't Tell."

[CattyNebulart]

I would quote from this story, but it's reallly worth reading. for the punch lines later on.
www.burgerbill.com/justaddwater.html
E: "Did they... did they just endorse the combination of the JSDF and US Army by showing them as two lesbian lolicons moving in together and holding hands and talking about how 'intimate' they were?"
B: "Have you forgotten so soon? They're phasing out Don't Ask, Don't Tell."

[Bob Schroeck]

Bumping this so people can find it.

-- Bob
---------
I intend to be a freak for the rest of my life, and I shall baffle you with cabbages and rhinoceroses in the kitchen and incessant quotations from Now We Are Six through the mouthpiece of Lord Snooty's giant poisoned electric head. So theeeeeere....

[DHBirr]

OK, I finally broke down and bought a new computer ... after six years. Now I'm capable of posting images. I promise not to do it much, but this one just struck me as too funny -- particularly the casting in the last panel.

(Edited because the image didn't show up on the first try.)-----
Gentlemen, it has long been my conviction that all citizens should provide services for which their talents best suit them in support of those who have been called to duty. In the case of politicians such as yourselves, that would be target practice.
-----
Big Brother is watching you.  And damn, you are so bloody BORING.

[DHBirr]

One more.
-----
Gentlemen, it has long been my conviction that all citizens should provide services for which their talents best suit them in support of those who have been called to duty. In the case of politicians such as yourselves, that would be target practice.
-----
Big Brother is watching you.  And damn, you are so bloody BORING.

[CattyNebulart]

A flick of his wrist snapped both arrows out of the air as he wondered what to do with the other rose, since one was enough at the moment.
If I was female Id slip it behind my ear, but that just dont work as a guy.
Rolling it in his hand he flicked the thorns off and reached up to slip it behind Hotarus ear.
Cool and romantic, what do I know about cool and romantic? Ill probably open my mouth and stick my foot in it.
Saturns smile and blush went completely unnoticed by the distracted martial artist, who was sure he was going to screw things up.
www.fanfiction.net/s/3530...n_the_hand
E: "Did they... did they just endorse the combination of the JSDF and US Army by showing them as two lesbian lolicons moving in together and holding hands and talking about how 'intimate' they were?"
B: "Have you forgotten so soon? They're phasing out Don't Ask, Don't Tell."

[katreus]

The Kyuubi spoke up once again.
"Yeah... Team Cthulu just killed the last umpire... So it was rather timely of you to show up now..."
Sakura shuddered.
'Oh God... If normal parents are bad at sporting events... How bad are huge ass demons?'
Sakura died a little on the inside, thinking that.
www.fanfiction.net/s/3657...he_Imprint--

[katreus]

This is nothing Tsunade-sama, you should have seen him when he was seven, and he got a hold of some chocolate from Lightning country. We requested a medium B, to low A rank mission to find someone to get him. It was too much for me to handle solo.
Many of the Jonin were run ragged, and made into laughing stocks for being out done by a child, lets not even mention some of the Chunin. The ANBU were smart enough to not touch it, but seeing so many Chunin and Jonin cry.. I think I still have pictures of it, of Chunins on their knees crying from pain, and cursing the invention of chocolate. I believe it is also the only mission to go down in Konoha history as the mission with the most number of failures. Even Gai failed to be able to catch up to him, he ended up on his knees crying about Narutos 'Passionate youth shinning brightly'."
www.fanfiction.net/s/2890...aki_Naruto--

[Bob Schroeck]

While checking out the fic linked to by one of Catty's entries (A Boy In The Hand), I spotted this one:

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The last time hed played Monopoly, Ryoga had somehow gotten lost and ended up in England (They still werent sure how hed managed that, hed only rolled a three!)

---

-- Bob
---------
I intend to be a freak for the rest of my life, and I shall baffle you with cabbages and rhinoceroses in the kitchen and incessant quotations from Now We Are Six through the mouthpiece of Lord Snooty's giant poisoned electric head. So theeeeeere....

[katreus]

Naruto is Uzumaki Naruto, said Naruto, Naruto likes ramen and something else. What Naruto doesnt like is stupid work. Ahand Narutos hobbiestheyre secret!
Naruto looked very happy with his answers. Kakashi just felt slightly creeped out. It looked like he was re-redefining weird here
What, no dreams? Kakashi prodded.
Cant say.
Naruto held up a hand, pointing upwards as if he was giving a lecture. His tone was completely serious.
Top secret. World will end. Sensei gets it.
www.fanfiction.net/s/2878...h_named_Bo
Something about the way he says this (in third person) combined with his utter seriousness in the announcement of impending apocalypse - if forced to tell - just tickled my funny bone. --

[Bob Schroeck]

No casualties. Hito closed the matter. Assuming we are dealing with the civilians. It seems likely, those bodies are wearing clothes. What do we do?
We quiz the waters! Minako replied as she pushed onward into the fog.
Mai walked with Makoto and turned to look at her with confusion on her face. How did she get elected leader?
We always let the dumbest one lead. Usagi's not around, so we have to settle on her for now. I'm not sure, but I think it's some sort of rule.
-- From Gaijin, chapter 34, by Carrotglace

-- Bob
---------
I intend to be a freak for the rest of my life, and I shall baffle you with cabbages and rhinoceroses in the kitchen and incessant quotations from Now We Are Six through the mouthpiece of Lord Snooty's giant poisoned electric head. So theeeeeere....

[Norgarth]

OMAKE (thanks to TheClueless)
"Given our low population, and how dangerous the universe is, we could not afford such activities after the Fall. Else our population levels might drop at a dangerous rate."
"You don't seem to mind the idea of the Bright Lord having a harem. Or that the members of that harem might be interested in each other, as well as the Bright Lord."
"The Craftworlds have a 1 to 5 male to female population ratio. At best."
"Ah."
"Yes. Wraithbone only goes so far."
"Blessed Emperor! Did you have to add that last comment?!?"
************
an omake at the end of chapter 14 of 'Shinji and Warhammer40K' (note: Ch 14 = part 15 due to a prologue)__________________
"I'll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there's evidence of any thinking going on inside it." - Terry Pratchett
___________________________
"I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific." - George Carlin

[SkyeFire]

From "A Boy in the Hand" www.fanfiction.net/s/3530...n_the_hand

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Pops hadn't let him watch cartoons when he was a kid, so he'd been making up for lost time since he got to the Tendos. Fortunately Kasumi was a cartoon addict and had introduced him to dozens she'd thought he'd like. Ranma had claimed he was working on new techniques when Genma had bugged him about it and after the Kamehameha incident no one dared interrupt Ranma and Kasumis cartoon time, even when they were watching the Care Bears. Ranma's evil grin and Kasumis hysterical giggles about the Care Bear Stare caused many shivers.

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...okay. I'm afraid. I'm VERY afraid.....

[Herr Bad Moon]

---

Deuce Bigelow: Male Gigolo did not have a sequel.
- Deuce Bigelow: Male Gigolo is itself a consensual hallucination.
- - Says you. I never consented to that.

---

From TVTropes Wiki in regards to Discontinuity in film sequels.---------------
-Jon
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)
The population density of Wyoming is very low, but that doesn't mean the people there aren't also out to kill you.
---
Jon
"And that must have caused my dad's brain to break in half, replaced by a purely mechanical engine of revenge!"

[Star Ranger4]

---

"Why doesn't the verb k'ves have the notations when you conjugate it?"
"Because when you use that word, you're already conjugating," Maze said

---

from Jeffery "Silver" Stanton's Sailor Moon V Sadly dead, as it hasnt been updated for five years now...."I was an Otaku before those kids came along and changed the meaning of the word."
-- HM "Howling Mad" Wilson to more than one team-mate.
Hear that thunder rolling till it seems to split the sky?
That's every ship in Grayson's Navy taking up the cry-
NO QUARTER!!!
-- "No Quarter", by Echo's Children

[Xenoproctologist]

Sailor Moon V dead?
No.
Not by quite a long shot.
(Episode 12 updated 12 days ago. Currently at >8.7MB raw text.)
(Yes, it has serious pacing issues. No, I don't care about that. First fanfic I ever read, and I enjoy it warts, blemishes, and all.)

[Star Ranger4]

Oh..... cause the page I'd bookmarked hadn't been updated in like 5 years. october 2005, to be exact"I was an Otaku before those kids came along and changed the meaning of the word."
-- HM "Howling Mad" Wilson to more than one team-mate.
Hear that thunder rolling till it seems to split the sky?
That's every ship in Grayson's Navy taking up the cry-
NO QUARTER!!!
-- "No Quarter", by Echo's Children

[ECSNorway]

Yeah, ep 12 has been chugging along in fits and starts for a while now. I've been seeing little updates every couple of months.
It's a fun story, and a very interesting bit of utter AU.--
"I give you the beautiful... the talented... the tirelessly atomic-powered...
R!
DOROTHY!
WAYNERIGHT!
--
Sucrose Octanitrate.
Proof positive that with sufficient motivation, you can make anything explode.

[yesilmavi]

ok this is not fanfiction or whatever, but i got tears in my eyes from laughing
(from a fark thread on funny pen reviews on amazon, including chtulhu)
:
review of The Story of Ping (a children's book about a duck for those that don't know.
www.amazon.com/Story-Abou...0140502416
Ping! I love that duck!, January 26, 2000
By John E. Fracisco (El Segundo, CA USA) - See all my reviews
This review is from: The Story about Ping (Hardcover)
PING! The magic duck!
Using deft allegory, the authors have provided an insightful and intuitive explanation of one of Unix's most venerable networking utilities. Even more stunning is that they were clearly working with a very early beta of the program, as their book first appeared in 1933, years (decades!) before the operating system and network infrastructure were finalized.
The book describes networking in terms even a child could understand, choosing to anthropomorphize the underlying packet structure. The ping packet is described as a duck, who, with other packets (more ducks), spends a certain period of time on the host machine (the wise-eyed boat). At the same time each day (I suspect this is scheduled under cron), the little packets (ducks) exit the host (boat) by way of a bridge (a bridge). From the bridge, the packets travel onto the internet (here embodied by the Yangtze River).
The title character -- er, packet, is called Ping. Ping meanders around the river before being received by another host (another boat). He spends a brief time on the other boat, but eventually returns to his original host machine (the wise-eyed boat) somewhat the worse for wear.
If you need a good, high-level overview of the ping utility, this is the book. I can't recommend it for most managers, as the technical aspects may be too overwhelming and the basic concepts too daunting.
Problems With This Book
As good as it is, The Story About Ping is not without its faults. There is no index, and though the ping( man pages cover the command line options well enough, some review of them seems to be in order. Likewise, in a book solely about Ping, I would have expected a more detailed overview of the ICMP packet structure.
But even with these problems, The Story About Ping has earned a place on my bookshelf, right between Stevens' Advanced Programming in the Unix Environment, and my dog-eared copy of Dante's seminal work on MS Windows, Inferno. Who can read that passage on the Windows API ("Obscure, profound it was, and nebulous, So that by fixing on its depths my sight -- Nothing whatever I discerned therein."), without shaking their head with deep understanding. But I digress.

[Bob Schroeck]

"You claim to be the reincarnation of Serenity," Raccoon replied, "Who was so erratic, she was either subtle and treacherous beyond the best Jurai could offer against her, or she was a complete ditz and moron who would - oh _*SHINY!*_"
"Why is everyone looking at me that way?" Usagi asked of her friends.
"I _knew_ she couldn't be that way on purpose," Makoto said as she stared angrily at Usagi.
"She had us fooled all this time," Ami covered her face and wailed.
"To think, right in front of us and I never saw it," Rei added, crossing her arms and glaring, "It explains _everything_."
"Minako!" Usagi looked desperately from Senshi to Senshi, "You don't believe I'm an evil mastermind!"
"No, it doesn't work." Minako shook her head. "The subtle villain has a _white_ cat," Minako said, then realized everyone was now staring at _her_, "Wahh! I'm not a villain! I don't have a Monaco, I've never even _been_ there! Why couldn't you have been another color!?"
-- from "Sailor Jupiter," Chapter 17, by the SSM folks whose names are not to be found anywhere in the text file I saved, and which I should remember, but I don't.

-- Bob
---------
I intend to be a freak for the rest of my life, and I shall baffle you with cabbages and rhinoceroses in the kitchen and incessant quotations from Now We Are Six through the mouthpiece of Lord Snooty's giant poisoned electric head. So theeeeeere....

[Cobalt Greywalker]

As promised...

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Whats that? Asuka got in first, pointing to the package as she tore apart a stick of liquorish with her teeth.
Its apicture Kaji got me. If its okay Misato, Id like to hang it on the wall he said, pointing at an empty hook on the far living room wall, next to the veranda doors.
Of course you can she said warmly, this is your house as much as mine
Thanks he smiled, walking over to the wall. Misato, he curiosity piqued followed as he appeared to hesitate, then ripped the wrapping off and carefully lifted it onto the wall hanging mount. Misato gave it a curious but not that fussed look then did a double take, her mouth slowly opening in shock
Then she literally fell to the floor, almost crushing a surprised penguin that scuttled out of the way, laughing so hard she looked to be having trouble breathing as she flailed about on the floor.
Asuka now more then a little intrigued walked out of the kitchen and around, glancing down at the helplessly cackling Misato before looking up at the slightly sheepish Shinji, then at the picture and feeling her breath freeze in her lungs.
Staring back at her was Gendo Ikari.
The picture had to be a real photograph, but it captured the essence of the man Asuka had never met, but seen pictures of and heard much from other NERV personnel and Shinji himself. She could instantly see the resemblance to his Son and vice versa, but utterly alien to any look she had seen on Shinjis face was the expression of utter disdain and contempt, the desire to control and dominate burning in from behind the tinted glasses.
One of his hands in the picture held a mate black gun.
The other, an utterly adorable white kitten, which the gun was pointed at.
PILOT THE EVANGELION! The main caption said in harsh, angular kanji.
Or the kitten gets it a smaller and much gentler subtext kanji added.
--From the 'Three Colours: Red' chapter of Once More with Feeling by Crazy-88

[Morganite]

Here's something from the novelisation of "U. S. Marshalls":

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"I have this idea," Renfro said, "this excellent idea. When an airline loses your luggage, they should be required to give you free tickets to wherever your luggage went. I mean, why should my shit go to Hawaii and not me?"

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-Morgan."Mikuru-chan molested me! I'm... so happy!"
-Haruhi, "The Ecchi of Haruhi Suzumiya"
---(Not really)

[Sirrocco]

---

Oh shit! Naruto hadn't thought of it like that. Everyone knew that his adopted mother was the first Hokage's grand-daughter, but he'd never paid it any mind.. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit! His great-grandfather founded the damn village! His mother's work had saved thousands of important lives! He had a damn legacy to uphold! Were his clothes straight enough? Were they white enough? Did he comb his hair today? Did he ever comb his hair? Crap, he didn't! Quick: look noble!

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Tsunade's Heir, chapter 4
Hee hee hee.
EDIT: fixed those fershelugger directed single-quotes.

[ECSNorway]

Gamlain, commenting on the Nanoha/Evangelion pic a few threads up:

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Poor Sachiel is about to get befriended.

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Whee!--
"I give you the beautiful... the talented... the tirelessly atomic-powered...
R!
DOROTHY!
WAYNERIGHT!
--
Sucrose Octanitrate.
Proof positive that with sufficient motivation, you can make anything explode.

[Jenova Silverstar]

---

Neji's eyes narrowed in disgust... and confusion. Granted, he hadn't seen Hinata in quite some time, but her body language, even if it was indistinguishable to others, was completely different from what he remembered. And the readings he was getting from her aura had changed. Like he had expected, she didn't really want to be here. But the reasons were vastly different. He didn't know why, but for some reason, Hinata actually thought she could win.
He would enjoy crushing that confidence.
"You are fated to lose Hinata-sama. You are... not listening to a word I say."
"I could be enjoying a hot soak right now." Hinata muttered under her breath, barely loud enough for Neji to pick up. "Instead, I'm stuck dealing with this crap. This sucks."
Neji's eye twitched. If he didn't know better, he would say that this was an impostor. But the Byakugan would pierce any genjutsu, and the person before him was definitely Hinata.
It was then that he caught sight of her hands.
"How foolish. You think you can even survive this match, with gloves keeping you from using Jyuuken? I'll give you one chance, right now, to forfeit. If you don't... don't expect any mercy."
"Neji-nii-san? Get fucked."
Neji's eyes widened, then narrowed as a flush of rage took over his face. In the stands, Kiba was howling with laughter, and Shino's eyebrows nearly met his hairline. Kurenai's eyes had widened at this turn of events, and Asuma's ever present cigarette had fallen out of his mouth and was rolling across the floor. Naruto was grinning widely... Etna-san had taken the time to teach Hinata how to swear.
"So be it. Proctor, begin the match."
"Jeez, Neji-nii-san, you seem constipated. How long has it been since you last took a dump?"
The enraged redness in his face grew to nuclear proportions. In the stands, people were choking.
"Or maybe it's something else. Has it been a while since you were able to get some alone time with Palmela Handerson?"

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From Overlord a Naruto/Disgaea cross.
"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened."
--Dr. Seuss