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  India Pakistan Conflict
Posted by: MilkmanConspiracy - 05-06-2025, 06:16 PM - Forum: Politics and Other Fun - Replies (3)

The BBC reported that India has struck several targets in Pakistan. Packistan has vowed retaliation. I pray cooler heads prevail instead of the situation escalating further.

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  Oh, and before I forget...
Posted by: Bob Schroeck - 05-05-2025, 01:12 PM - Forum: General Chatter - Replies (2)

[Image: attachment.php?aid=72]

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  2016-11-22: Matinée Ojou-san
Posted by: Bob Schroeck - 05-04-2025, 07:45 PM - Forum: Stories - No Replies

Matinée Ojou-sama
by Brent Laabs

November 22, 2016
Venice Beach, California

Akari stopped by the common room looking quite confused, and asked Alicia, "So I took a reservation just now, and the customer said he had heard about us from our video advertising.  I still don't understand.  What videos?  Did he watch our anime or something?"

Overhearing this, Tomoyo declared, "Oh, that's wonderful!  I'm so happy my video is helping your company."

"What kind of video?" Alicia asked.

"Well, maybe you should ask Brent-san and Tomo-san."



Tomoyo stood at the door of Tomo and Yomi's apartment, where I was hanging out. "Brent-san," she said, "I was trying to explain the advertisement you made for Aria Company, and well, I thought maybe you'd better explain it?"

"Ano..." Tomo mumbled.

I said, "Maybe it would be better if the video explained itself?"

"Just what have you two been up to?"  Yomi got up off the couch, with a look of interest in her face, and followed us all down to the common room.

Tomoyo Daidouji, our resident AV technician, plugged her laptop into the projector, and navigated to YouTube.

"Are all the videos on your channel of Sakura-chan?" Yomi asked.

"Unfortunately not," Tomoyo replied. "Ah, here it is."

"Whoa!  Four thousand views!  I'm a celebrity!" Tomo exploded her fist into the air.

I snarked, "That and a dollar bill will buy you a cup of coffee."

And then the video started.



"Hi, Art Fern here!" I voiced with a distinct nasal tone and fast talking.  "This is your Tea Time Movie program, just in time for after school tea time!"  I wore a thrift-store red suit, an oily-looking short black wig, and a fake mustache.  "Friends, I'm here to introduce the greatest products from around the world while you wait for your video.  But first, let me introduce the lovely, the talented, the eye-candy: Matinée Lady!"

Tomo walked into the frame, wearing a goofy grin, a shirt tied above her midriff, and a pair of Daisy Dukes.  "Hi everyone, hi Art, hi cameraman!"

"Friends, let me introduce you to a new service that you're going to wonder how you ever lived without it.  It's an amazing European import that you're going to love, guaranteed.  I'm talking about..."

I stepped over to the easel with a stack of printed cards, and removed the top one from the stack, revealing my sales topic.  "Gondola Rides!" I read off the sign.

"Oh wow, I love rides," Tomo prattled.

"Believe me honey, I know," I remarked, then continued, "We'll take you on a beautiful tour of the canals of Venice, California -- now newly expanded!  Turn our freak accident of water into a freaking amazing day on the water.

"Friends, that's right, you can try out one of the gondolas at L.A.'s premiere transit company," I pulled out the next card, "Aria Company!  Take a ride with one of our smooth gondolas and it'll be smooth sailing. You'll be floating on cloud nine, while still floating in the best canals in the greater Los Angeles metropolitan area.  I mean, just take a look at our lovely gondoliers."

I paged through 8x10 glossies on the easel of Alicia, Akira, and Athena, showing them in casual yet beautiful poses atop gondolas.  "Wowza.  Maybe I should have asked one of these beautiful women to be my Matinée Lady instead."

"Now come on, Art," Tomo pouted, "This is the twenty-first century.  An actress isn't just valued for her pretty face these days."

"Oh really?"

"For sure.  Harvey Weinstein told me that I gave the best performance he's had in a long time!"[1]

"Honey, I bet that's how he always couches his reviews."  Damn, my fake accent slipped in that part.

Tomo wore a broad grin, somewhere between acting proud and trying really hard not to corpse.

I took a small boat anchor out from under the desk.  "Friends, these gondolas don't need anchors!"  I threw it behind me.

"Anchors away!" Tomo said, bubbly.

I pulled out a propeller, said, "These gondolas don't need props," and chucked it back.

"But you do."

"Friends, Aria Company gondoliers use a good old-fashioned oars to propel your gondola through the most beautiful canals on this side of the La Brea Tar Pits.  It's time to show you some footage of the Aria Company, hard at work."

Thirty seconds of B-roll played, showing the undines looking pretty snappy on their gondolas.  Most of the footage was taken as an establishing shot for Sakura films by Tomoyo, but there was enough there to make the gondoliers look damn fine at their jobs.

And then the feed abruptly cut back to Tomo and I, locked in an embrace.

"Oh, and we're back already!" I said as we quickly tore ourselves away from each other.  As Matinée Lady straightened out her shirt, I asked her, "So, what did you think?"

Tomo took a deep breath, "Well, baby."  She smiled.

"About the gondolas."

"Oh, that.  You know, I'm going to take a gondola ride.  And then, while I'm riding, I'm going to call all of my friends and family, and say 'Look at me, I'm on a boat!'"

"Really?"

"Yeah, I'm on a boat, Mother–"

"Okay!  Someone here really loves her family," I interrupted.  "And why wouldn't you want to bring your family along for this beautiful ride.  It's fun for the whole family, and good for them too.  Because Friends, I'm offering an all-natural, 100% organic, top shelf, prime cut, bona fide, crème de la corn gondola service.

"We'll take you from the ghetto to the traghetto.  Even if you're a menace, we'll take you in Venice.  You'd have to be be lazy, you'd have to be crazy, you'd have to be Patrick Swayze to pass up this offer."

"Oooh, spooooky."  Tomo held up her hands in front of her limply and slowly swayed back and forth, in the classic Japanese "I'm a ghost" maneuver.

With a nasal twang, I continued, "Each ride with Aria Company comes with real Venetian gondoliers, real Venetian boats, and real Venetian blinds.  Not like that fake Vegas Venice, this is all the real deal!"

"I don't like fake things," Tomo blurted out.

I glanced down toward her flat bust, before saying "I think we can all tell."

"Really?" Tomo asked blithely.

"If you're heavy, we don't care.  If you're tall, we don't care. If you're flat as a pancake," I nodded in Matinée Lady's direction, "we don't care.  If you've kneecapped a figure skater, we still don't care.  If you don't pay —" I slammed my wooden pointer down on the table with a snap "— that's when we do care!  We take dollars, we take euros, and we Venetians even take dogecoin."

"Such payment.  Wow!"

"Now, you might be wondering, just how do I get there?"  I revealed a chart of swirling lines that looked like a hybrid between a freeway map and the Yellow Sign, and pointed out the way with my stick.  "Just take the Ventura Freeway to the Golden State Freeway through the East L.A. Interchange to the Santa Monica Freeway, then swing down to the San Diego Freeway.  Then take the Slauson Cutoff..."2

"Get out of the car, and cut off your Slauson!" Tomo elaborated.

"And then get back in the car, and continue on to the fork in the road."

Tomo brandished a dinner fork in front of her, as if she was fending off an amorous Nyarlathotepian.3

"Take a left on Washington Boulevard, and our offices are right there in Venice Beach!  Come to Aria Company today!  We'll keep our oars open!"

I segued, "Now, on to your feature YouTube video, starring Pepe the Frog, Pepe le Pew, PewDiePie, Ajit Pai, and a jeep with a Popeye in the film Make the Pie Higher."

Tomo and I embrace, and right as it looks like we're about to start a passionate kiss, the video abruptly stops.



"What the heck was that?" Akari asked, slack-jawed.

"It's called advertising!" Tomo enthused.

Yomi remarked, "Pretty good, Tomo.  You stayed in-character and kept the timing tight."

Tomo blushed, "Praise me, praise me more!"

"You've obviously put in a lot of practice as a total airhead," Yomi 'praised'.

I chortled, while Tomoyo giggled.  She critiqued herself, "I do need to work on the lighting a little bit more.  And I still think I could have made better costumes."

"No, no," I explained, making the incomplete pass signal. "The cheap costumes are part of the gag."

Alicia asked, "Can someone please explain... what that was?"

I said, "It's an old bit from a Johnny Carson routine."4

"He's an American comedian from like thirty years ago." Tomo continued.

"He played this guy, Art Fern, always selling stupid products in movie theatre ads."

"And I was his bimbo starlet assistant, Matinée Lady!"

"And he always gave weird L.A. freeway directions, involving the Slauson Cutoff..."

"But we live next to the Slauson Cutoff," Tomo elaborated. "So we got to talking about it..."

"And then we saw Tomoyo with a camera."

Tomoyo inserted, "And that was when things got a little out of hand."

All three of us started laughing, then.  Yomi, a little, too.

But Alicia's face was still puzzled.  "So, do I have to worry about this?  There are lots of promises, and the image is a little..."

"Nah, no way." Yomi declared.  "Everyone can tell that it's a comedy routine, even if they don't get the references."

I guessed, "It's probably because they've heard about you on the news, and they want to find out more.  And then we stole all of your views."  Tomo gave me a high-five for this; I have no idea why.

"Would you like me to take some real videos of you?  Tomoyo offered. "Like a documentary, or an advertisement, or something in between?  I think what you do on a gondola looks really romantic.  And then, if you got a beautiful passenger to appear, like Sakura-chan, everyone would want to watch!"  She covered her cheeks with her hands.

"Actually, that sounds like a great idea for business," declared Alicia.

"I can't believe you two did this without me," Yomi warned.

"Oh, like, sorry." Tomo made a peace offering, "Maybe you could be Matinée Girl next time, an 'American' like you would play that better."

"No way.  You're much, much better at pretending to be brainless."

Tomo's mouth opened wide for a second, then closed.  And in a flash, Tomo glomped on to her best friend with a big grin.  "Yoooomiii!!"



  1. BL: Note that in 2016, Harvey Weinstein being a serial perv was not yet common knowledge, but it certainly wasn't a secret in the industry.  I have at least one friend who was subjected to an inappropriate encounter with him, and I wouldn't be surprised if she wasn't the only one.
  2. BL: These are actually the real directions from the Tonight Show studios in Burbank to the canals in Venice.  Numbered freeways were invented after all of the L.A. freeways were named.
  3. BL: Forks are Mahiro's weapon of choice in Haiyore! Nyaruko-san, which is basically what you'd get if you took Urusei Yatsura and swapped Japanese mythology for the Cthulhu Mythos.
  4. BL: If you're unfamiliar with the sketches, go search for "Art Fern" on YouTube, the comedy holds up very well despite some dated references. I wrote this after watching a few of the "Movie Tea Time" skits, since I was a bit too young to have stayed up late for the Tonight Show back when Johnny hosted.

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  Observation of the day
Posted by: robkelk - 05-04-2025, 07:27 AM - Forum: General Chatter - Replies (4)

Usually, something that has an attribute can be described with the adjective form of the name of that attribute.

But it's stories that don't have pathos that are pathetic.

Linguistic drift can do some funny things.

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  How do you get more nurses in under-served areas?
Posted by: robkelk - 04-30-2025, 06:59 AM - Forum: Politics and Other Fun - No Replies

This has been happening for two years, but I only learned about it today.

In order to address the shortage of nurses and paramedics, the province of Ontario pays the tuition, books, and course fees of Ontario residents taking Practical Nursing or Paramedic programs at many Ontario colleges and universities. One has to commit to work where one takes the courses (which means Toronto is not included in this scholarship program at all, and paramedic students only qualify for a scholarship north of North Bay).

You get more nurses in under-served areas by training them in those areas.

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  2016-12-27: Time Away
Posted by: robkelk - 04-27-2025, 02:24 PM - Forum: Stories - Replies (2)

Time Away
by Rob Kelk
Chapter 1



Blossom Apartments, Ottawa, ON, Canada
December 27, 2016
10:14 AM


"We need to talk."

"What about, Ami?"

"Us. And Rob."

Mii looked up from her tablet. "You don't look happy. Let's go somewhere else to talk, though."

"Ruiko's out spending her holiday money; she won't overhear us. Funny how we get it a week early here."

"The sales are more than a week early, too. But you're changing the subject. And I want to stretch my legs."

Ami thought for a moment. "I suppose we could go somewhere. Where do you want to go?"

Mii grinned. "Some place where nobody knows us except as fictional characters. And I want to see more of this world."



10:23 AM

Rob hung up his phone. "They'll be ready for you in Windsor by the time you fly in."

"Thanks, Rob," Mii replied. "Why can't we use the portal system?"

"They aren't on the portal system yet. Yes, we should do something about that, but Washuu-chan mentioned that she isn't willing to anchor a portal to any place that doesn't have a Good Neighbour Node."

"We are getting away from everybody else," Mii commented.

Rob nodded. "And before you ask, the closest residence that is on the system is us."

"That's annoying," Ami said. "Oh, well. We'll be back before New Year's Eve. But who said we were flying?" She transformed to Sailor Mercury, took hold of Mii's hands, and shouted "SAILOR TELEPORT!"

Rob blinked, then spoke to the empty space where Mii and Ami had been standing. "I was expecting you to take a plane, but that works. I guess they won't be ready when you get there." After a moment, he added, "I thought it took all five of you to teleport."

He didn't expect a reply to that comment, but he got one anyway as Kuroko walked into the common room, blinking her eyes from the flash. "Ami-san is a very good student, and she's been helping me teach the others what I taught her about teleportation."

"Ah. Have you been learning anything from her?"

"No. The 'science opposes magic' paradigm that Aleister set up makes that impossible."

Rob winced in sympathy. "That's ... annoying."



Club Lofts, Windsor, ON, Canada
December 27, 2016
10:24 AM


The Good Neighbour System failed to go off, since it hadn't been installed yet. The only warning that the building's residents had to their visitors' arrival was a brief light show in the parking lot just outside their front door.

Ami quickly transformed back to her civilian identity, as Mii asked "Are you sure we're in the right place?"

"I'm sure. Why do you ask?"

"There's no snow on the ground. We didn't cross the border to the United States, did we?"

"Why, no," replied a young woman behind them. "You're still in Canada. You must be Ms. Konori and Ms. Mizuno. I'm Mahoro Ando. Welcome to Windsor."

Mahoro was wearing a white apron over a blue short-sleeved maid's dress - not as all-covering as an English or German maid's uniform, but far more modest than a French one - with a red ribbon with a brooch holding it in place as a tie. A maid's cap and a pair of sensible shoes over low socks completed the image of the quintessential professional maid... save for the yellow ribbon in her hair. Mahoro herself was taller than Ami but shorter than Mii, with black hair cut short except for twin bangs falling past her neck and short twin tails at the sides of her head. As Mahoro looked at her visitors, she noticed Mii's chest, causing her to frown in jealousy for a brief moment before she smiled again. But it was a very brief moment; she thought Mii didn't notice her lapse in professionalism.

A voice drifted over from one of the houses next door. "Hey, are you folks doing something weird again?"

Mahoro turned to the fence on the far side of the alleyway between the buildings. "I'm sorry! Mr. Ryuga was experimenting with the building's new lights, and I think he might have overloaded them!" she answered, more loudly than she had spoken with Mii and Ami.

"You better be careful with those big lights. They're expensive to replace."

"We'll keep that in mind! Thank you!" Turning back to the visitors, she continued in a more normal voice, "Let's go inside so you can make yourselves comfortable."

As they walked into the building's foyer, they were met by a tall, blond, handsome, very fit man. "Blaming me for the light show, Mahoro?"

"I'm sorry, Ryuga-san, but I couldn't tell them the truth."

He scowled, then nodded once. "I suppose not. But you owe me a favor." He turned to the visitors. "You're our guests? From what our landlord just told me, I wasn't expecting you for a few hours."

"I'm sorry," Ami replied. "Our landlord forgot that I can teleport. Ami Mizuno; I'm pleased to meet you."

"What? You're Sailor Mercury? Oh, wow!" A cute petite blonde girl who looked to be about Ami's age raced over from the far end of the foyer. "I'm Chizuko Oe; pleased to meet you!"

"Chi-chan, give our guests time to catch their breath. They just got here." Mahoro turned back to Ami. "I'm sorry about that."

"It's all right."

Mii decided she may as well make a chance to introduce herself. "I'm Mii Konori. Pleased to meet you."

"Hello," Chizuko replied politely.

"Chi-chan, where are the others?" Mahoro asked.

"Rin, Miyuki, and Mr. Norgarth are helping Minawa get a guest room ready. The boys are up on the roof. I don't know where anyone else is. I was going to go get some coffee - does anybody else want some?"

"No, thank you," Mii replied.

"Perhaps later, when I can enjoy it," Ami said.

Mahoro simply shook her head. Ryuga pulled a five-dollar bill out of his pocket and handed it to Chizuko. "If you're going to Taloola, bring me back one of those coconut-curry hot chocolates."

"Sure! See you later!" And she headed out the door, humming the Sailor Moon theme slightly off-key and slightly syncopated, with a smile on her face.

Ryuga watched her leave. "She'll be gone for at least a quarter hour." Without turning, he continued, "We understand you're looking for a place to talk."

"Ryuga! Be polite." Mahoro turned from Ryuga to face Ami and Mii. "I apologize for my housemate's lack of manners."

"You and your strange Earth customs," muttered Ryuga as he turned to face the women. "Sorry," he added, not sounding sorry at all. "How much privacy are you looking for?"

"Just enough to keep anybody from overhearing our conversations."

Mahoro smiled. "Then we chose well when we gave you a room with nobody in residence on either side. From the comment that Ms. Oe made, I gather that you're from a world where Sailor Moon exists as a person."

"Ami's the only Sailor Senshi here," Mii answered. "I'm from a place called Academy City."

Mahoro and Ryuga exchanged a quick puzzled glance, then turned their attention back to Mii. "I'm not familiar with that place, Ms. Konori."

"Donaldson-san ... Mr. Donaldson tells me that the stories are rather popular in Japan. I believe he called them A Certain Magical Index and A Certain Scientific Railgun; Railgun - Mikoto Misaka - is a friend of mine."

"That's something I'll have to familiarize myself with later," commented Ryuga. "Right now, let me show you around the place. Mahoro probably wants to get lunch preparations started." She left to do so, and Ryuga showed Ami and Mii around the ground floor, then lead the way up the stairs and went through the doorway to the second floor. "This is the floor where you'll be staying. Let's see ... 201, which we would have given to Ms. Kino if she had joined you, 202, ... here it is: apartment 203." He knocked, then opened the door. "Our guests have arrived."

A man's voice, slightly panicky, came from inside the apartment. "They're here already?"

"Yes," Ryuga answered, "they're both here."

"There's only two of them? Oh, good. I was half-expecting all of the Sailor Senshi to show up." The owner of the voice walked out of one of the bedrooms. "Hi." He looked at Mii, then looked at Ami. "You must be Sailor Mercury."

Ami blushed. Mii frowned for a very brief moment, then smiled. "I suppose she must be, since everyone keeps calling her that. Her name is Ami Mizuno. I'm Mii Konori."

"Oh. Sorry about that. Hello, Ms. Konori and Ms. Mizuno. You can call me Norgarth; everybody else does." They shook hands. "Your room should be ready before lunch."

A blonde girl wearing an apron over a green maid's dress and carrying some sheets stepped out of one of the rooms near the far end of the apartment. "The beds are ready, Mr. Norgarth," she announced through the pile of fabric in her arms, walking toward the group.

"Thank you," he replied. "And it's just Norgarth, not Mr. Norgarth, Minawa. Why do you still have sheets? Do you have to make up another bed?"

"No. I took too many sheets out of the linen closet. I'm sorry." Her last sentence was almost a whisper. "I'll go put them ba-aAAK!" she finished as she tripped on the pattern in the carpet and went flying.

Ryuga caught Minawa before she could hit the floor. The sheets weren't as lucky - and neither was Ami. Minawa looked around, went pale, and said "I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry!"

Looking like a Halloween ghost, Ami said, "There's no harm done. It's all right."

Mii noticed that Minawa looked much less anxious after hearing Ami's reply. "Here, I'll help you help Ami get free of those sheets."

As everyone was helping Ami get free of those sheets, the door behind them opened again. "We brought the - what happened?"

"I'm sorry," Minawa answered with a bow. "I tripped."

Ami and Mii turned (Mii more easily that Ami) to see that two girls their age had walked in. One - the more tomboyish of the two - was carrying towels and a bottle of shampoo, while the other - the more ladylike and taller of the two - was carrying a vase of well-arranged flowers. The latter spoke, saying "As long as nobody was hurt, there's no harm done," (which made Minawa smile slightly). Casually putting the vase down at the exact center of the dining table, she continued, "I see that our guests have already arrived. My name is Rin Todoriki; I'm happy to meet you."

"And I'm Miyuki Sakura. Pleased to meet you."

The visitors from Ottawa introduced themselves. Miyuki reacted the same way that Chizuko had earlier, but with less blatant enthusiasm and hero-worship. While Rin controlled her own reactions, Mii noticed that she did recognize Ami's name.

"I hope that you find this room to be comfortable while you're here," Rin said once introductions were completed. "If there's anything that we can do you make you feel more at home, please don't hesitate to ask."

"And if you want some bath salts or oils, come straight to me," Miyuki added.

"Excuse me..." Everyone turned to Minawa. "Do you want my help with unpacking your bags?"

Mii looked at Ami. Ami looked at Mii. "I knew we forgot something." They both turned to Minawa. Mii smiled in that Japanese way of turning a bad situation into a joke. "We forgot to pack."

"I would be happy to lend you some clothing, Ms. Konori," Rin replied.

Mii took a closer look at her, and realized that the comment she was about to make about Rin's tops probably not fitting her wasn't accurate. She didn't wonder why Ms. Todoriki was hiding her figure; she had firsthand experience with the unwanted attention those measurements usually brought. "Thank you, but I couldn't put you to such trouble."

"It's no trouble at all."

"And I do have some holiday money."

Rin smiled. "Of course I know of a good place to go shopping for clothes after lunch."

Meanwhile, Ami and Minawa had been whispering to each other, mainly because Minawa was embarassed about discussing her sizes in front of Ryuga and Norgarth. Their quiet conversation finished with Ami saying "I appreciate that, Minawa-san. I would be happy to borrow your coat while I go shopping today."

Minawa smiled, then wondered why she wasn't nervous any more around Ami - Ms. Mizuno, she corrected herself. Maybe it was because she hadn't shown anything but happiness while they were together. The only other person Minawa knew who was like that was Mahoro.



1:07 PM

"I don't know what I was expecting, but that wasn't it."

Mii made sure the door was closed and locked, then turned to Ami. "What's wrong?"

"The way those boys just leered at you. Suguru less than the others, I'll grant. They treated you as if you were a ... a ..."

"A sex fantasy?" Mii sat down beside her friend and practically-fiancée, close but giving her some personal space. "Why do you think I have such an unflattering hairdo? I'm used to it. And they can't help it; they're teenage boys."

Ami didn't mention that she thought Mii's hairdo suited her facial structure and personality. "You never get that at home. Did they even notice that you wear glasses?"

Mii thought for a moment, then smiled disarmingly. "Home is a special case. Almost nobody is as much of a gentleman as Mamoru-san is. And Rob is as much a gentleman in his own way as Wataru is back in Academy City. Accelerator ..." Mii thought about the times she'd spent with their apartment-mate, and after a short moment, continued, "he just doesn't seem to care. But when I go anywhere else, I have to remind people where my eyes are - that, or wear loose clothing."

"That's terrible."

"Ami, you sound like Skuld-sama. And not just because you two have a seiyuu collision in this reality. One of these days, we should get the two of you together to talk with Hisakawa-san. As for being ogled, it isn't so bad. At least the boys noticed me."

Ami winced as she realized just how much attention the girls their age had been giving her. Comments that Ruiko-san had made back in Ottawa about having watched Sailor Moon in reruns when she was younger suddenly took on new meaning to Ami - like it or not, she was a celebrity. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I wanted to go some place where we're only known as fictional characters. I didn't expect that everyone would only know who you were." Mii shrugged. "It happens."

"If you're sure...?" Ami didn't think Mii was happy with the situation, but she wasn't going to press the matter any further unless Mii wanted to talk about it.

"I'm sure. Now, what did you want to talk about, away from everybody else?"

Before Ami could answer, there was a knock at the door, followed by Mahoro's voice. "Are you two ready to go shopping?"

They looked at each other. "We'd better," commented Mii.

"We'll be right out!" Ami answered both Mii and Mahoro.



4:33 PM

Ami and Mii dropped shopping bags filled with clothes on their beds. Mahoro and Minawa both started unpacking for them, putting blouses on hangers before the girls from Ottawa could react.

"Oh, you don't need to do that!" Ami insisted as she started unpacking one of her own bags.

Mahoro looked puzzled as she continued working. "Don't you have a maid to do this for you in Ottawa? Funtom Placement Services told me that I was on the short list for a position there, but I was never called for an interview."

Mii shook her head. "Maika doesn't have time to do all of our housework; she's in charge of keeping the common areas clean, not our private spaces. She only washes our clothes if we ask her to."

"Kuroko-san and Mikoto-san ask her to, all the time."

Mii raised an eyebrow, then lowered it while she nodded. "They're rich girls from a private academy. Of course they're going to think that that's normal."

"That isn't fair. I'm not poor, but I do my own laundry," Ami pointed out.

"Yes, you lived in a luxury high-rise in Tokyo, your mother collects jewels, and you own an entire planet. But you never had the upbringing that taught you that you were entitled to personal maid services."

Ami was surprised for a moment, then remembered what she'd realized earlier. Of course Mii knew all that. "Mother doesn't collect jewels, just diamonds. And I don't own Mercury, I'm just its Senshi and Princess. Of course I should do my own housework."

Mii smiled. "Has anyone ever told you that you're cute when you're defending yourself emotionally?"

"Rob has, once or twice."

"Oh, you have a boyfriend?" Minawa asked while taking a pair of slacks out of the last bag Ami had brought back from the store and draping them on a hanger.

Mii and Ami stopped talking, turned to Mahoro and Minawa, and realized they'd never actually told the maids to stop.

"All done!" Mahoro's smile lit up the room. "We'll unpack your bags right away, Konori-san," she added.

"No, please, I'd rather do that myself," Mii replied quickly.

"It's no trouble," Minawa started to reply, only to be stopped by Mahoro.

"If that is what you want, of course we'll leave it to you, Ms. Konori," the older (but still young) maid began, only to be interrupted by a light flashing from her brooch. She quickly held the brooch by both sides and said, "What's wrong?"

A gruff male voice that neither Mii nor Ami had heard before replied, "We have uninvited guests. Three unidentified targets incoming. They're humanoid, but they're flying."

"Radar indicates they're very dense, probably robots of some sort," another voice they hadn't heard before added.

"Can we help?" Ami asked immediately.

"It's possible that we might be familiar with your 'uninvited guests', if only by reputation," Mii added.

Mahoro simply nodded as everybody raced to the roof.



4:44 PM

The fog around the building's roof cleared to reveal the three invading robots ripped limb from limb, inert pieces of humanoid chassis scattered all over the roof. Ami sighed. "That didn't slow anybody down, did it?"

"It would have if we relied on vision," that gruff male voice they'd heard earlier replied - from the mouth of what appeared to be a black panther.

Mahoro nodded in agreement. "But Ryuga-san, Slash," she gestured toward the panther, "and I don't need to rely on vision. We all have other combat sensors that we can fall back on."

"And I could hear them," Minawa added.

Ami turned to Mii, who said, "And my esper power lets me see through your fog, so I could avoid their attacks. But I think it wasn't a waste to use your Shabon Spray - at least we don't need to explain a life-and-death combat to the next-door neighbours."

Ami smiled slightly as she reached down and picked up one of the robot heads. "There is that."

Slash scowled as he watched Ami. "Taking souvenirs from a battlefield is an amateur move."

Ami looked annoyed for a brief moment, then forced herself to calm down as she answered Slash. "I'm not taking a souvenir - I'm going to scan this and ask people at other residences whether they recognize this kind of robot. There were three of them, so it's reasonable to assume there are more; maybe even a mass-production line making them somewhere." Ami put the head on top of a fence pole, pulled out and opened the Mercury Computer, and proceeded to run her scans.

"And the more we know about them, the easier our future fights against them will be," added Mii. "Let's clean up this rooftop, then go back inside and do an after-action debriefing."

Slash's scowl disappeared. "Finally - somebody who's a professional."

While the others picked up the wreckage of their opponents, Ami continued to scan the robot head ... and then scanned her hosts. She realized that Kuroko Shirai's attitudes regarding potential combatants had started to take hold in her as well, but that didn't stop her.

The only one to notice Ami's scans was Slash - who assumed she was scanning the robot parts that the others were gathering up.



Fifteen minutes later, Mii and Ami walked back into their room, Ami reading an email that had just arrived on the Mercury Computer. "Take a look at this," she said to Mii as she turned the palmtop so they could both see the screen.

She read the message, and grunted in surprise. "Of all the people to reply, I wouldn't have expected Meg Deckard to be first. What's a '55C'?"

Ami typed a few keys, and after a moment, footage from an anime started to play. "It appears to be a combat robot model from the same universe as the 33-Stars," she replied.

They both watched the footage for a few minutes.

Finally, Mii spoke. "The ... 'Boomers', was it?" Ami nodded. "The ones we fought flew in. Those ones" - Mii pointed at the screen - "don't have any flight capability."

Ami nodded solemnly. "Which means either the robots we fought weren't Boomers, or ..."

"... or somebody upgraded them. And their attacks matched the ones in the anime."

Ami went pale. "Oh, dear."

"We're alone, Ami."

"Oh, fuck."

"Exactly. You call Rob, I'll call Tessa." They both reached for their phones and moved to opposite ends of the room.

Mii's call connected first. "Testarossa speakig."

"Hi, Tessa. It's Mii. No time for pleasantries. I'm visiting the Windsor residence right now, and we were just attacked by Boomers."

"Boomers? I wasn't aware of the presence of any attack submarines in the Great Lakes."

"Not that sort. Combat robots from Bubblegum Crisis. Meg Deckard says they were 55C models."

"I see. Why didn't the Good Neighbor System react to this?"

"Our hosts said something about not having time to install their node."

After a moment, Tessa replied, "I will contact Washuu-chan. Please let your hosts know that they need to make the time to install their Good Neighbor System node."

"Will do. And thanks. I'll talk with you again later." She hung up and turned to Ami, just in time to see her hang up as well. Before Mii could say anything, she received a text from Vancouver. Reading it, she acknowledged receipt, then turned her attention back to Ami. "Washuu-chan's on the way. What did Rob say?" Mii asked as she put her phone in her pocket.

"He was worried about two possible foes joining forces. And he asked for a written report that he could submit to Lord Phantomhive's oversight board and share with the other apartment managers." Ami suddenly smiled. "And he said he already misses both of us."

Just then, there was a knock at the door, followed by Miyuki's voice. "Mahoro asked me to tell you that dinner won't be until 6:30."

Mii, being closer to the apartment door than Ami was, walked over and opened the door, just in time to see Miyuki about to open the stairwell door. "Thanks! And I have some news - you're about to get another visitor, from Vancouver."

Miyuki turned, said "I'll let Norgarth know," then turned back to the stairwell and headed downstairs.

Mii closed the apartment door, turned to Ami, pulled out her phone, and commented, "Our talk will have to wait until after dinner - I have an after-action report to write for Rob."

Ami offered the Mercury Computer to Mii. "Would you prefer something with a keyboard?"

Mii put her phone down and took the palmtop. "That would make it easier, thanks."



10:36 PM

"Thanks for helping me with this, Konori-san." Washuu was using one of her tools to open a passage through the wall struts. By no means was she cutting a channel - that would have been far too primitive. She was displacing molecules in a straight line in order to have a place to run a datalink line.

"You've done a lot for everyone else, Washuu-chan. This is the least I could do to repay -- STOP!" Washuu froze. "You almost cut through a support beam."

As she pulled some support braces out of a subspace pocket and set them up around the girder that she was about to molecularly separate, Washuu said, "Don't want to bring the building down on us, do we? Good thing you can see through the walls."

From the stairs, Ami asked, "How much longer do you expect to be?"

Washuu laughed. "In a building this size? We're working all night, Mizuno-san. Or should I say 'Mercury-dono'?"

Ami sighed. "Please don't." Then smiled and added, "Call me Ami-chan!" They all laughed at that. Turning to Mii, she continued, "I guess we're having our conversation tomorrow."

Mii nodded. "Sorry."

As Washuu and Mii continued installing the Good Neighbor System, Ami returned to her guest room to look over the scans that she had taken earlier that day. The people running cables and installing sensors wouldn't be the only ones spending a sleepless night.

Three hours later, Ami regretted swearing like a sailor earlier in the day - that left her with nothing stronger to use when she realized what she was looking at.

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  The Incompetent and the Ignorant
Posted by: Dartz - 04-16-2025, 02:01 PM - Forum: General Chatter - Replies (10)

We've all met them. But how would you describe him?


1: If he thought hard enough and really applied himself, he might actually be useful as a hundred watt space heater


2: He's firing on all cylinders, but they're all firing after top dead centre.


3: His power factor is basically zero. There's a lot of back and forth, but very little actually gets done.

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  Tim Berners-Lee's opinion of the modern World-Wide Web
Posted by: robkelk - 04-15-2025, 07:32 AM - Forum: General Chatter - Replies (3)

Marking the Web’s 35th Birthday: An Open Letter, by Tim Berners-Lee

Yes, it's a year old. It's still worth a read.

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  2016-12-22: Relationships and Other Problems
Posted by: robkelk - 04-13-2025, 06:17 PM - Forum: Stories - Replies (1)

Relationships and Other Problems
by Rob Kelk
Chapter 1: Relationships



Ottawa, ON, Canada
December 22, 2016
10:45am ET



They stood at the riverbank, facing each other, twenty paces separating them.

A stray breeze blew a leaf into the air. As the leaf touched the ground, they both moved.

"Shiny Aqua Illusion!" Ami launched a blast of frigid water at her opponent while running.

He stopped his attack preparations and caught Ami's attack in mid-air... but he wasn't powerful or skilled enough to hold onto it.

While Rob didn't fall over, he was soaked to the skin, and there was a cloud of mist around both him and Sailor Mercury.

"Time!"

"What, already?" Rob turned to Mii. "We just started."

"You two stood there staring each other down for minutes as if you were in a samurai drama. Or maybe you were just staring at each other. I'm a bit jealous." She didn't wonder why she was jealous.

"Sorry!" Ami smiled, then sighed. "I was hoping to get some more practice in."

"And I was hoping to find out what else I can do with this new ability of mine," Rob added. "I didn't expect to be weaker than Ami."

"Ami has had practice with her power; you haven't. Be less dramatic next time and go straight to the combat. Ami, how long have you been able to get an attack off without stopping to launch it?"

Ami transformed out of her Sailor Mercury form and checked her watch. "About two minutes now. I knew Rob wouldn't hurt me if it didn't work."

"That was your first time?"

"It was my first time, it was with you, and I got so wet in the process." Ami smiled at Rob.

Mii grinned, oblivious to how out-of-character all three of them were acting, and passed a towel to Ami. "Yes, Ami, you're definitely a pre-med student. We shouldn't describe it that way to the others, though." She turned to Rob and saw he didn't need a towel - he had already moved the water away from his clothes and body. Then she raised her voice. "Computer, end program!"

The water in the river drained away, then the ground and the riverbed disappeared, revealing a large empty room decorated in a crab motif. The door opened to reveal Makoto and Mikoto waiting patiently. "Are you three done with whatever it is you were doing?"

"Not really, but it is your turn to use the sparring room. Try not to hurt each other, please."

Ami, Mii, and Rob waited for Makoto and Mikoto to step into the sparring room before they left, completely ignoring Mikoto asking Makoto, "Should those three be spending so much time together?" Makoto's reply, if any, was cut off by the door closing.

Once they were out of the building's pocket dimension, Ami made a quick detour to the laundry room to drop off her towel, then re-joined the others at the foot of the stairs up to ground level. "I'm not used to not having any homework."

"Neither am I," Mii added, "but that doesn't mean I can't read ahead in my coursework."

"I don't have any paperwork to do for Funtom Canada today, and Maika's got the housework down to a routine. How about the three of us go out for lunch after we take a shower... sorry, after we take showers and make ourselves presentable?"

Mii grinned. "All in favour of us taking one shower?" She and Ami both raised their hands.

They heard a cough from the top of the stairs. Looking up, they saw Hyoga... also smiling and raising her hand. "What are you three waiting for?"

Rob sighed. "You know that was a slip of the tongue, and I know you're all teasing me." He hoped they were all teasing him... until he suddenly decided despite how he usually thought that they weren't, so he fell back on laws and genetics. "Not until you two are 18 and you," he looked at Hyoga, "have had Washuu-chan give you a full medical scan."

"I'm a perfectly healthy human now, really." Hyoga emphasized "human" ever so slightly.

"I know. But whose DNA is in your genes?"



Blossom Apartments, Ottawa, ON, Canada
December 22, 2016
11:01am ET



Ruiko saw the note that Rob had left on the kitchen counter. She read it, nodded, and scaled back the lunch recipe that Mako-chan had prepared before visiting the sparring room with Mikoto.

It made sense to her for the four of them to have lunch out. After all, Ami and Mii-san had to figure out what they thought of that geas on Hyoga-san and Rob-oji, and they couldn't do that with everybody else listening in and offering comments. Well, they could, but Ruiko knew the others well enough to know that Makoto wouldn't be able to stop herself from defending Ami's interests even if Ami didn't want her to.

And, she admitted to herself, she'd offer her own opinion on the matter as well.



Ottawa, ON, Canada
December 22, 2016
11:13am ET



"An extra-large 'pizzaburger', please." Mii turned to the other three people at the table. "What do you want?"

Rob grinned. "Even you might have trouble finishing off an extra-large on your own. The four of us will share one pizza."

As the waitress left to tell the kitchen their order, Hyoga turned to Rob. "Is this a pizza inside a hamburger bun?"

"No, 'pizzaburger' is their name for a pizza topped with ground beef, mushrooms, and green peppers. It isn't as greasy or as spicy as the usual Ottawa combination of pepperoni, mushrooms, and green peppers, which is why I like it and introduced it to our building's espers before the Senshi showed up. As for the name, it's a pizza topped with what people expect to see inside a hamburger bun."

"Why haven't I heard of this before?"

Mii sighed. "Hyoga, this is literally the second-closest pizza place to our apartment, and the closest one that has table service. How have you not been here before?"

"As Rob pointed out to me during our very long day yesterday, I need to get out more." Hyoga sighed. "I'm out now. And we need to talk."

"Yeah. That's why I asked for a table in the corner."

Ami smiled at Rob. "Better to have at least some privacy, yes. My first question: Why did we tell our resident spy, Maika?"

"That's part of the geas. I had to tell mortals, and she's the only person in the building who can be described only as a mortal human - no esper Skill, no Senshi transformation, no talent for magic, and no ... whatever it is that I am now."

"What about Jacky and Kate?"

"They might not be mages, but they're magic-users. Although we called on them after we told all of you, and then visited a few other people that I know, just to be on the safe side. Garm did say 'mortals', plural."

"Second question," Mii said. "What kind of family are the two of you going to be?"

"The two of you are Rob's first loves," Hyoga replied before anybody could give the question any thought... as if she was reading a script written by somebody who didn't want any questions asked about the matter. "I'm content with being junior to both of you."

Rob sighed, deeply. "I don't want anybody to be senior or junior in our relationship. And I don't know whether Hyoga and I can be spouses."

"Why not?"

"She was re-made into a human with a celestial form, and I was the closest human when that happened."

Ami nodded. "And you're worried that her genetic pattern was copied from yours, although you can't be an exact match because the two of you are obviously not the same sex."

"But we could be genetic siblings; just change my XY pair to an XX pair."

Hyoga gasped. "I didn't even think of that!"

"And Mako-chan told me that you used to have a sister," Ami continued.

Rob nodded.

"Used to?"

"She passed away many years ago, from a wasting disease that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy."

Mii looked Rob straight in the eye. "Does Hyoga look like your sister?"

"That's the thing. Maybe." Rob turned to Hyoga. "The women in my family tend toward having large bustlines the way you do, but you had that measurement before I met you. You're as serious as I remember her being, but she didn't wear glasses, and you aren't as tall as my blood relatives."

"Japanese people tend to be shorter than North Americans."

"Primarily because of diet," countered Ami. "Mii, you're taller than Mako-chan, and you're only one year older than she and I are."

"Speaking of diet," Rob interrupted, "I see our garlic bread coming."

After the waitress had been and left, they went on with their conversation.

"Let's assume that you're too close genetically to be lovers. What then?"

"Then Hyoga is for all intents and purposes my sister, and will eventually be your sister-in-law. That's a given."

Hyoga smiled, then sighed. "I agree, if that's the case. As much as I don't want it to be the case."

"Yes, there's no reason for your DNA to be Hyoga's template. Hvergelmir has all of creation to draw upon, after all."

Mii frowned. "But our plane of existence was frozen in time. Hvergelmir might not have had access to it."

"Or it might have taken the opportunity to get detailed scans of people while we were frozen," Ami replied.

"Ladies, I think we're arguing with insufficient evidence. I'll call Washuu-chan once we're back home."

"Right. Third question. If you aren't genetically too close to marry, are we going to form a group marriage?"

"Is that legal?" Hyoga asked Mii.

"That depends on whether you want a marriage contract," Rob replied. "In Canada, I can only marry one of you, but nobody can stop us from living together as a family."

"Maika wouldn't approve," Mii pointed out.

"What the 'English Puritan Church' - which I assume is what your world has instead of our Anglican Church - does or does not approve of is no concern of mine. And if Maika dares to complain, I'll ask her what the first epistle to the Corinthians has to say."

Mii frowned. "What does it have to say?"

"'But now abideth faith, hope, love, these three; and the greatest of these is love.' That's from the American Standard translation."

Rob nodded at Hyoga's quotation. "I'm impressed that you know it well enough to quote it."

"I am an angel, after all. But I don't think they pay attention to that epistle any more."

"Why not?"

"The same epistle also says, 'For when one saith, I am of Paul; and another, I am of Apollos; are ye not men? What then is Apollos? and what is Paul? Ministers through whom ye believed; and each as the Lord gave to him. I planted, Apollos watered; but God gave the increase.' That doesn't match up with the multiplicity of Christian churches in either my home universe or this one."

"We're getting off-topic, ladies. And I see our waitress coming our way with a pizza." After the waitress had served each of them a slice and left the rest of the pizza at the table, Rob continued, "I don't want to railroad anybody into something you don't want. Hyoga, what do you think about all this?"

"I'm thinking that another quote from that same epistle applies here. 'But if they have not continency, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn. But unto the married I give charge, yea not I, but the Lord, That the wife depart not from her husband (but should she depart, let her remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband); and that the husband leave not his wife. But to the rest say I, not the Lord: If any brother hath an unbelieving wife, and she is content to dwell with him, let him not leave her. And the woman that hath an unbelieving husband, and he is content to dwell with her, let her not leave her husband.'"

"I always thought the Apostle Paul was something of a prude," Rob commented. "He wanted everybody to abstain from sex, and conceded to sex within marriage."

"I'm not a Christian," Ami added. "But I suppose that just makes me one of the unbelieving."

Rob nodded and continued. "But that's what Paul thought. I asked what you thought, Hyoga. I think I know what you mean, but do you really understand it if you can't put it into your own words?"

"I see what you're saying," Hyoga answered after swallowing a bite of pizza. "I like all of you. I think I love you all, in different ways. I'd be happy to be a part of a family with all of you, but I don't want that family to be torn apart for any reason short of death. And I definitely don't agree with Paul's ideas about human sexuality. I'm more of an Old Testament angel that way."

"All fire and brimstone?" Mii asked.

"No, the other sort. 'I am a rose of Sharon, A lily of the valleys. As a lily among thorns, So is my love among the daughters. As the apple-tree among the trees of the wood, So is my beloved among the sons. I sat down under his shadow with great delight, And his fruit was sweet to my taste. He brought me to the banqueting-house, And his banner over me was love. Stay ye me with raisins, refresh me with apples; For I am sick from love. His left hand under my head, And his right hand doth embrace me.'"

Rob grinned. "I'll be sure to let Mako-chan know that you think her meals are banquets."

Hyoga grinned back. "There's that literal meaning, too."

Mii just looked confused. "I'm sorry, but was that really a Bible quote? It sounded less like something a Christian would say and more like something a romance novelist would write." Ami, the group's most avid reader of romance novels, nodded in agreement while eating her own pizza slice.

Hyoga nodded. "It was from the Song of Solomon. There are a lot of people who forget that we were created with sex drives for a reason, but Solomon wasn't one of them."

"Okay," Rob said as he served another slice of pizza to Mii, "I think we all know where Hyoga stands on the matter. What about you, Mii?"

"Thanks. I like you, but I don't know whether I'm ready to commit myself to a lifelong relationship. Especially since we're all going to live for centuries."

"How do you figure that?"

"Ami, you're a Sailor Senshi. We know you're going to live for at least a millennium. Washuu-chan gave me that nanite treatment to heal me quickly back when we were first attacked by the Unseelie, and the experts in Academy City are almost positive that regeneration includes an extended lifespan as a second-order effect. Rob, didn't she give you the same nanite treatment?"

"The same or a similar treatment, yes, to repair my nervous system." He looked thoughtful at the realization. "But that was before I was transformed at Hvergelmir."

"Everything we've seen so far indicates you were improved, not re-created."

"Everything we've seen so far."

"Granted, but why would you have lost an ability? And Hyoga's an angel. I might have the shortest lifespan of all of us; just a few centuries. But I'm pretty sure that we're all going to outlive the other people we know, the Senshi and the Juraians excluded. I like you all now. Will I still like you in 2200?"

"'But should she depart, let her remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband'," Hyoga re-quoted. "I'm fine with spending time apart, even years apart, as long as we remain true to each other."

"I'd still like to think about it."

"I'm not going to ask you to commit to anything until after your 18th birthday," Rob replied. "You have plenty of time to think about it." He wondered why he felt uncomfortable saying that he'd abide by the law of the land.

"And I have even more time, don't I?" Everybody nodded in reply to Ami's question. "Mii mentioned that I'm going to live for longer than she expects to live. I don't know whether I can handle that."

"It isn't easy outliving a loved one," Rob replied. "But we all end up learning how to cope."

"Does anybody else want more pizza?"

"Way to spoil the mood, Mii," Rob muttered.

"Oh! I'm sorry. But there's no point letting it go to waste."

"I'll have one more slice, please," Ami replied.

"So will I, please."

"And I'll have one more as well," Rob added. "You can have the rest."

Mii smiled as they all turned their full attention to lunch.



Blossom Apartments, Ottawa, ON, Canada
December 22, 2016
11:57am ET



"So, now he has three girlfriends." Mamoru sighed, dreading the possibility that he himself might end up in the same situation.

"Isn't it romantic?" Ruiko and Usagi said in unison as if their reaction was scripted by somebody who cared more about the story than the people involved.

Minako grinned at their comment. "Oh, yeah, I remember that happened a few times back in the Silver Millennium, when we didn't have to worry about sexually-transmitted diseases."

"What, really?"

"Yes, Mikoto, really."

Chibiusa piped up. "I heard about this in Crystal Tokyo, but only from Mina-nee as ancient history. I think people should only have one spouse."

"I have to agree with you, Niiko Misaka opines." There was a thought in her mind saying otherwise, but the Misaka Sisters had practice in ignoring thoughts that weren't their own.

Kuroko frowned as she asked, "Doesn't polygamy lead to the objectification of women?"

"Only if the woman doesn't have a choice," replied Minako, suddenly more sure about her answer than she was when the question was asked. "Back in the Silver Millennium, it was always up to the woman whether she wanted to join or remain in an existing relationship, polyamourous or not. And before anybody asks, it was up to a man whether he wanted to join or remain in an existing relationship, too."

"So... were... well, were we...?"

"No, Usagi, Princess Serenity and Prince Endymion were just beginning their relationship when Beryl's forces attacked. They were still exclusive to each other. As far as I know."

"Say," Hotaru asked suddenly, "did any relationship ever start as a threesome?"

Minako thought for a moment, then replied, "It was rare, but it did happen on occasion."

"Thanks." Hotaru decided to say nothing more... but she did start thinking about how this bit of prehistory might relate to something that was happening somewhere else in Refuge...



Blossom Apartments, Ottawa, ON, Canada / The Masaki residence, Vancouver, BC, Canada
December 22, 2016
12:33pm ET / 9:33am PT



"I hope I'm not taking you away from breakfast."

"Not at all. I was just about to call you, actually; Sasami-chan wants to know what you want for Christmas presents."

"Honestly, Washuu-chan, all I want for Christmas is a full medical checkup."

"I gave you a full medical checkup less than three months ago, Rob."

"True, but that was before Hyoga and I visited Niflheim yesterday."

"You visited ... Both of you. My lab. Now."

"Yes, Washuu-chan." Rob grinned, looked up from the phone, and turned to Makoto and Mikoto. "See you tomorrow. I hope." Before anyone could reply, a door leading directly to Washuu-chan's lab appeared on the Blossom Apartments common room's wall. "It looks like she's too impatient for us to get there for us to use the portal system."

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  I will be here for a little while
Posted by: MorningDaylight - 04-09-2025, 09:06 AM - Forum: Introductions - Replies (1)

I'm banned user HLIAA14YOG from AllTheTropes. I'm just here to try to make an appeal for my ban since the discussion for my ban was done here when I had no account; in fact, I did not even know the site existed until I read my ban message where there was a link to this site.

The reason I'm using a different username is because honestly I'm embarassed by the one I use in ATT but too lazy to get a name change. I was in what people call these days an "edgy phase" back when I chose my username. 

I do write fanfics and original fiction on AO3 under a username called (sigh) InsideA14YearOldGirl. My honest opinion is that they're horrible and I'm ashamed of how my most notable work there is a pornographic incest story, though it was written by request of another user. I keep writing there because I barely have any hobbies and at least it keeps my mind out of doing dangerous things to myself (like taking drugs or drinking alcohol like my father).

I do have a problem with being rude, in real life and outside of it (though people only see to talk behind my back and never tell me I'm being rude unless they're my college psychologist; I often only discover how much people hate me months later when a third-party tells me what they talked about me); and for trying to seek information about the most obscure things if at least I think there is some quality on them; that is why I watch and read so many japanese things, because Japan is as far away from my native country of Brazil as it can gets.

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