Way back in history along the Nordic coast
That was the sound all the people feared the most
It would echo through the night up and down the foggy f-jord
It was Erik and his bloodthirsty horde!
Erik the Awful, the brutal and tenacious
Erik the Awful, the ruthless and courageous
Subtle as a chainsaw, lacking all the social graces
You could run, but you could not hide!

Yes! And as the oars of the sleek, fierce Viking ship cut like k-nives thru the fog-shrouded Nordic sea, transporting this wild, marauding band of Viking heathens stealthily towards their unsuspecting, slumbering victims, there he stood, on the foredeck, Erik the Awful, the wildest, bloodthirstiest Viking of them all!

(His momma named him Erik 'cause she couldn't spell "Aaaaaaaauuuuuggggghhh!")
He had a hairy head, a hairy face, hairy chest, hairy arms, hairy legs, hairy boots and a hairy hat, shaped like a big bullet with horns comin' out of the sides... and once he started after ya he'd never stop! He'd turn to his oarsmen in his 37-oared f-jord and say:
"Findi firdi ferdi fingi!"
which was Viking for:
"Yo! Ravage, pillage, plunder, and maim, and put big hickeys on all the fair damsels! Yoooooo!"

And it was Erik the Awful, the brutal and tenacious
Erik the Awful, mercy sakes, goodness gracious
His appetite for slaughter was simply voracious
You had to sleep with your sneakers by your side!

Yes! And when the villagers heard that awful battle-alarm:

Yeah, that's the one... They would run for their lives, fleeing over hills and through valleys to the river, whereupon they would walk in mid-stream for thirty-seven and one-half miles, climbing out on the low-lying branch, shimmying down a young sapling onto rocky ground and leaping from stone to stone until they arrived one week later at a secret cave, 297 miles away, and as they sat down for the first time to catch their breath, outside they heard:
"Yoooo!" "Findi firdi ferdi fingi!" "Yooooo!"

Yes, it was Erik the Awful, the brutal and tenacious
Erik the Awful, turned up in the darndest places
Subtle as a chainsaw, lacking all the social graces
You could run, but you could not hide!

Oh! And this time they cut south to Paris, bought tickets on the Orient Express to Istanbul, hired a U-Haul to the coast, jumped a Greek freighter across the Mediterranean Sea to Mongolia, hooked up with a camel caravan into the heart of the Gobi Desert, and as they paused at an oasis, to lift one handful of cool water to their parched lips, over their shoulder they heard:
"Yoooo!" "Findi firdi ferdi fingi!" "Yooooo!"
They fled to Calcutta!
"Yoooo!"
The Himalayas!
"Yoooo!"
Tokyo!
"Yoooo!"
Toronto!
"Yoooo!"
Toledo and Hey Hialeah, Georgia...
"Yoooo!"
But it was no use! They finally succumbed to a savage plundering and pillaging followed by a big hickey party on the outskirts of what is now Washington, DC, where the decendants of Erik can still be found today, working as Special Agents for the I! R! S!
"Yoooo!"

Yes, it's Erik the Awful, the brutal and tenacious

Erik the Awful, mercy sakes, goodness gracious
Subtle as a chainsaw, lacking all the social graces
You could run, but you could not hide!

Erik later amassed a small fortune posing for Molly Hatchet album covers, and did stuntwork for Arnold Schwarzenegger in Conan the Barbarian! He also won an Academy Award for his dual role as a train wreck and his tender portrayal of King Kong's daddy! Oh, you might remember the end of that one: there wasn't a dry eye in the house when he married the Empire State Building. It was just a wonderful thing...
-- Ray Stevens, Erik The Awful

-- Bob
---------
For Jor-El so loved the Earth, he sent his only begotten son...

(mp3 files available here)
The Drupa Song - Doug and target(s) within his AoE are teleported to Dusseldorf, and given an infodump about the current SOTA in printing and graphic design. Just the thing when you need to know the best way to get those informational pamphlets ready6 NOW for the former invasion forces of the Blarglesnort Armada, now the newest batch of immigrants to earth after haveing their Tyrranous Leader defeated and all but of handful of their ships' hyperdrives destroyed... or something. Or if you want to be in Dusseldorf, or somewhere easily reached from there. (This is actualy a kind of catchy pop number - enoguh to be tossed into my regular library, at least)
KPMG Jungle Mix - Target is unable to deviate form his or her planned strategy, certain that their power and energy will prevail. (the normal version is a sleep aid, if it does anything at all - though I'd expect that power to be taken from the Anvilanian National Anthem from Animaniacs first, given Doug's usual MO)
- CDSERVO: Loook *deeeeply* into my eyes... Tell me, what do you see?
CROW: (hypnotized) A twisted man who wants to inflict his pain upon others.
Dr. Akagi will recover. Observe, Rei smiled. Shinji-kun, are these your clothes?
Ritsuko shot up like a spring loaded meerkat. What? Shinji-kun is naked?
See, Anata? Dr. Hentai is alive and well. - Innortal's _I Do_
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows

My twisted mind has recently spawned a number of deranged crossover ideas. Some could be done seriously, while others are just plain silly. Recognising that there are many that I'm unlikely to ever write, I'm giving some away here.
1. A former radio-show psychiatrist disappears while attending a convention in New York. Is it ordinary foul play, as thought by ADA Jack McCoy, or is former FBI agent Fox Mulder correct in beleiving it to be an alien abduction?
Frasier/Law & Order/X-Files
Justification: Frasier is a spin-off of Cheers. Characters from Cheers appeared on the show St. Elsewhere. One of the doctors from St. Elsewhere appeared on Homicide: Life on the street. The character of John Munch, orfiginated on that show, not only has appeared on several Law & Order episodes, and is a cast member on Law and Order: SVU, but also appeared on an episode of the X-Files. Thus, all three series are potentially the same universe.
2. Ranma has faced various unusual martial arts, from martial arts eating to martial arts tea ceremony. But can he withstand the awesome power of hamster-style kung fu?
Ranma/Orgasmo
3. Following graduation from Flamingo High, Jerry Steiner takes a trip to Japan to visit his long-time Chinese penpal Mu-Suu.
Ranma/Parker Lewis Can't Lose
4. A strange woman with long blue hair and an ornate staff arrives at the Tendou Dojo, and refers to Ranma as "Father."It is discovered that she is an android super-weapon whose builders creater her analytic and tactical abilities using scans of Ranma's brain, or rather will once he is sent to the dimension of her origin, a place called El Hazard
Ranma/El Hazard
5. Working on another mission to stop Dr. Drakken, Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable come to investigate a rather unique school for girls in Cleveland, Ohio
Kim Possible/Buffy the Vampire Slayer
6. Quibbler reporter Luna Lovegood goes to Colorado to investigate sightings of the ellusive underpants gnomes.
Harry Potter/South Park

If anyone wants to run with one of these, go ahead.
-The Twisted One (Living up to the name)

Everything is holy, even the nuclear bomb.
--Zodiac Mindwarp "Elvis Died for You"
"If you
wish to converse with me, define your
terms."

--Voltaire

"Tequila" - Champs
Summon: 1 Bottle of Tequila that Doug is familiar with.Zack Seaholm - Anime fan, weathernut, worshiper of the goddess Belldandy.
"Trust is the wellspring of joy in our lives."
--Belldandy
Zack Seaholm - Anime fan, weathernut, worshiper of the goddess Belldandy.

"Trust is the wellspring of joy in our lives."
--Belldandy

(Yeah, yeah, oh-yeah, what condition my condition was in)
I woke up this mornin' with the sundown shinin' in
I found my mind in a brown paper bag within
I tripped on a cloud and fell-a eight miles high
I tore my mind on a jagged sky
I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in
(Yeah, yeah, oh-yeah, what condition my condition was in)
I pushed my soul in a deep dark hole and then I followed it in
I watched myself crawlin' out as I was a-crawlin' in
I got up so tight I couldn't unwind
I saw so much I broke my mind
I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in
(Yeah, yeah, oh-yeah, what condition my condition was in)
Someone painted "April Fool" in big black letters on a "Dead End" sign
I had my foot on the gas as I left the road and blew out my mind
Eight miles outta Memphis and I got no spare
Eight miles straight up downtown somewhere
I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in

I said I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in
(Yeah yeah oh-yeah)
-- Kenny Rogers and The First Edition, Just Dropped In (To See What Condition My Condition Was In)
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

Mainly because it's literally the #1 story on Superfics, as in "first and so far only." Ne, Nathan, won't you put TGNH there too, so I can stop linking to ff.n (BOO!) at least? My paltry 2700-odd words are so loooonely... There were a few bumps in getting the registration to work, but the owner got it straigtened out for me, so hopefully it'll be fine now.
SuperFics! Becasue why should you settle for an ordinary fic?
- CDSERVO: Loook *deeeeply* into my eyes... Tell me, what do you see?
CROW: (hypnotized) A twisted man who wants to inflict his pain upon others.
Dr. Akagi will recover. Observe, Rei smiled. Shinji-kun, are these your clothes?
Ritsuko shot up like a spring loaded meerkat. What? Shinji-kun is naked?
See, Anata? Dr. Hentai is alive and well. - Innortal's _I Do_
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows

I'd like to write some bit of IST fanfic, but all I know of that setting came from the chapter about it in GURPS Supers. Maybe someone can give me a little help? I've got a few questions (maybe more than a few):
-how old you have to be to join IST?
-how many IST embassies there are in USA?
-wich kind of training IST operatives get?
-how much time does the training take?
-can an IST embassy grant political asylum?
-does IST accept stagists?
-when does earth and myrr had their first contact?
-IST world's japan is closed and xenophobic as warrior's
world's is?
-how much is gravtech spread in IST world?
-does the Blue Demon have a tail? (I know it's a silly question.)
Thank you in advance for the help.

Once again, the sewer of my mind has come up with a crossover that's so wrong, it's right. People are welcome to take this idea and run with it, as I'm a horrible writer and am not intending to perform such self mutilation anytime soon.

I give you: No Need For Harry Potter
At the age of five, a burst of accidental magic and his desperate wish for a mother in his life ( he vaguely recalled that mothers should have red hair) caused Harrys cupboard to spontaneously generate an opening to Washuu's pocket dimension.
See! Harry Potter raised by Washuu Hakubi.
See! Ryouko beating the crap out of Peeves.
See! Harry Potter, the Cabbit animagus.
See! The Killing Curse blocked by the Wings of the Light Hawk.

Well, you get the idea.
Crawling back into my shell,
Jervic

Because it has no real relevance to what Nathan or Greiver are writing, though I mentioned it in that thread by way of where my own Otome-SI-musings had gone...

Quote:

---

Hey, Drogn? The way you're talking, those nanite packets have more powers than just healing... I'm curious to know what they are. ^_^

---

...but this is a Step idea that I'm kind of surprised I didn't think of long ago.
Not every flying-dutchman character wanders through dimensions... some of them dance through time. If Doug met Brooklyn... well, I'm not quite sure what would happen, but it'd be cool, admit it!
--Sam
"To everyone else, it was five minutes... to me, it was forty years."