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  Fic Update Thread: I can't drive 55
Posted by: Norgarth - 08-16-2024, 06:38 PM - Forum: Archived Fanfic Recommendations - Replies (299)

Since I realized I had pushed the previous thread over 300

Beware of Cloud (Beware of Chicken fanfic) again
https://forums.spacebattles.com/threads/...-104069257

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  2016-10-27: Thermal - er, Culture Shock
Posted by: robkelk - 08-14-2024, 07:59 PM - Forum: Stories - No Replies

Blossom Apartments, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
October 27th, 2016
4:00 pm ET



"Why is it snowing?"

Rob Donaldson was puzzled for a moment at Ruiko Saten's question. "Why wouldn't it be snowing?"

"It's October!"

Rob sighed. "This is Canada. For us, this is Thursday."

"I want to go home."

Kuroko Shirai followed Ruiko in, taking off her coat as soon as she was past the building's vestibule. "Ruiko-san, until that whole mess with the various universes is cleaned up, we are home."

Ruiko looked over at Kuroko. "That isn't helping, Kuroko-san."

"I'm sorry." She turned to Rob. "But I do have to agree about the snow. Is this some freak of nature?"

"I'm afraid not - this is the right time for the first snowfall of the year. But the ground won't be cold enough for snow to stay around for a couple of weeks yet. Before you ask: no, the air will probably not warm up again until next spring."

Kuroko frowned. "I'm going to freeze out there."

Rob remembered that Kuroko had bought the least of all the girls when they first went clothes shopping, nearly two months ago. "Didn't you buy any slacks when the five of you bought new wardrobes back in September?"

"Slacks are not ladylike." (Minako Aino nodded in agreement with Kuroko.)

"Perhaps. However, they help keep your body heat near your body when you're outdoors in the winter." Rob thought quickly. "Come to think of it, perhaps you all need some long underwear."

"Never!"

"Kuroko-san, 'never' is a long time ... and in a month or so, the daily high temperatures will be below freezing."

All of the girls looked horrified - excepting Ami Mizuno (who merely looked upset at that news) and Kazari Uiharu (who at first didn't seem to care, then put on a dismayed face).

Kuroko's only reply was, "Perhaps I was hasty with my words."





5:21 pm ET


Mii had confirmed all of the girls' sizes and placed an online order with [https://www.stanfields.com/ a company] that Rob knew of in Nova Scotia - one that he thought made the best winter underwear in Canada.

Minako, Rei Hino, Kuroko, and Kazari were all at the mall a few minutes' walk from the apartment, buying unladylike-but-practical winter clothing. More accurately, they were sitting at a food court table and complaining about buying unladylike-but-practical winter clothing (except for Kazari, who was using the mall's free wi-fi).

"Is nobody here familiar with the word 'fashion'?" Minako groused.

"Indeed," sighed Kuroko. "Not a single thing here would attract anyone's gaze, even in the adults' sizes."

"Rob warned us that this was a small mall, before the five of you arrived." Kazari tapped at her laptop, then smiled. "How about we go on a little trip?"

Rei held up one hand, in a "stop" gesture. "How little?"

"Montreal is only two hours away by train."

"Each way?" After seeing Kazari nod, Minako continued, "I'd say that isn't little, but I heard about the trip Makoto and Ruiko-san took. We have school tomorrow. As soon as we get there, we'd have to come back."

"Right. Kuroko-san, you and I are going to buy a pair of jeans each." Before she could reply, Rei continued, "I don't care how ugly they are. Wear them tomorrow. Saturday, we go shopping some place where they've heard of fashion."





Between Ottawa, Ontario, and Montréal, Quebec, Canada
October 29th, 2016
10:22 am ET



"What're you looking at, Mina-chan?"

"Farms."

Rei sighed. "Want to play cards?"

"Might as well."

The cabin attendant stopped at the girls' seats and asked, "Would you like to see today's lunch choices?"

The girls looked at the menus and smiled. "Now I see why Rob-san insisted we travel in business class," Minako commented.





Montréal, Quebec, Canada
12:25 pm ET



"What's a RÉSO?"

Kazari sighed. "It's the underground mall, Minako-san."

"So we don't need to go outside to shop? That's even better than I hoped!"

"That depends on how large this mall is," Kuroko pointed out.

"According to this Wikipedia page," Kazari replied, "there's 32 kilometres of tunnels and over 1600 stores."

"Finally! A decent-sized mall!"

Even Rei gave Minako a wondering look at that comment.





1:07 pm ET


"Oh, I like her style." Minako nodded in the direction of a girl who appeared to be about their age.

"Whose style?"

"The dark-haired girl leaving the jewellery store over there, with the same hairdo as you, Kuroko-san." Everyone else glanced her way.

"Not quite the same - we both have twin tails, but her hair's a bit longer."

Minako sighed. "Her hairdo isn't important, except that she's got colour coordination going for her - those ribbons are the same shade as her skirt and hose."

Kuroko gave Minako an annoyed look. "Just because the name of that colour nearly matches my given name doesn't mean you can't say the word. Trust me, nobody will be confused."

"Rob-san said that I had to be more careful with my words."

"Donaldson-san isn't here," Rei pointed out.

"True. Do you think I could get away with wearing something the same shade of red as her top?"

"With your hair and eyes, you could wear anything," Kuroko replied somewhat jealously.

Kazari just watched in envy as the girl left, thinking she could never pull off that look. Then she noticed the girl's skirt didn't cover the top of her hose... and realized where she'd seen the girl before. "I-gotta-go-see-you-at-the-train-station!"

As Minako watched Kazari take off after the girl, she said, "Uiharu-san didn't need to go ask her where she shops."





1:11 pm ET


She casually turned a corner and walked a short way down a corridor that lead to an office building. Sure enough, the girl with flowers in her hair turned the same corner. She'd had enough. Turning on her heel, she asked angrily, "Why are you following me?"

The girl gasped in surprise, but recovered quickly. "Excuse me if I'm wrong, but I think you're somebody like me."

She narrowed her eyes. "Why would you think that?"

"Have you ever read a book with a character who looks like me? I know there's at least one out there. And I've played a video game with a character who looks like you."

"Oh, really? You might be mistaken. Besides, my landlord hasn't supplied very many books for me to read. She says they're too expensive."

"You can find them on the web. If I'm right, your landlord is Bright-san; Donaldson-san said to contact her if we really needed help here. I'm living in Ottawa."

She relaxed - slightly. "So you know who my landlord is and you think you know who I am. Who are you?"

"Oh, I'm sorry! My name is Uiharu Kazari, and I'm from Academy City."

That cleared up the mystery; this girl - Uhiharu-san - had been scooped out of her homeworld, too. "Tohsaka Rin, from Fuyuki City."

"Um..."

"Now what?"

"Is there a Grail War going on right now?"

Rin sighed. "Why is that always the first question people ask? No, we've put that on hold while we're here. Verðandi-sama insisted."

"You've actually met Belldandy-sama? I haven't seen any of the megami yet in Ottawa."

"Well, yes - they are busy with the current situation. I could tell you about her if you want."

Kazari just nodded, eyes wide.

"But not here. Let's go get a cup of tea."





1:58 pm ET


"I never knew that there was so much information available on computers, Uiharu-san."

Kazari smiled at both Rin's comment and her willingness to use what she thought was a good level of familiarity when addressing somebody she'd just met. "You don't have very much experience with using the Internet, do you, Tohsaka-san?"

"The Internet? Is that another computer service, like this Web?"

"The Internet is the network that the World-Wide Web runs on. Most people use both names to refer to the same thing."

"They really should be more precise." After a moment, Rin continued, "Would you show me how to find information about myself?"

"All right!" Kazari moved her laptop so that she should type while Rin watched, opened a new browser window, and connected to Google, turning on Safe Search.

"What is the purpose of that movement?"

"Oh, that turns off searching for the Rule 34 stuff - things that people our age really shouldn't see."

"What sort of things?" asked Rin.





2:07 pm ET


"If I ever meet anyone who drew any such pictures of me, they will die."

"It's one of the perils of being famous, I'm afraid." Kazari sighed. "Besides, until a couple of months ago, everybody in this reality thought we were fictional. I can't blame them for projecting that sort of desire onto a fictional person instead of a real person."

"I feel real."

"So do I. But as long as we aren't using our abilities so that we can fit in with everyone else..."

"... nobody knows that we're us and so there's nothing we can do about it." Rin sighed deeply.

Kazari sipped her tea. "I need to learn how to make tea this well."

Rin glowered at her. "You are changing the topic."

She nodded brightly. "Yes, I am! Please let me change the topic! At least I'm not asking why you sound like my supervisor, Konori-san."

"Oh, very well."

Kazari relaxed. She really didn't want to tell Rin what sort of game she had been in. "How do I learn to make tea that's this good? I've tried looking for advice on the Web, but my tea never gets any better."

"There are some things you just can't learn from books, Uiharu-san. This is one of them. Buy some good tea - I'll help you learn how to do that - brew some - I'll help you learn how to do that, too - taste it, and adjust your future actions based on the results."

"I think we're already buying good tea."

"Is it in tea bags?"

"No, Donaldson-san only buys loose tea."

"That's a good start."





2:41 pm ET


"That's a pretty gem."

"This? It's copper carbonate - barely a gemstone. You can have it if you want it." Rin slid it across the table to Kazari.

"Copper carbonate? Malachite? I'd better not."

"Oh, yes; you mentioned who your roommates are. I won't force you to take it."

"Well, now," came a gruff voice from the next table over, "if she doesn't want it, I'll take it. In fact, I'll take all the valuables you're carrying." The speaker pulled out a pistol while he stood. Raising his voice, he continued, "Nobody be a hero, and you'll all live! Everybody get your wallets out, now! And get your phones out and turn them off, too!"

Rin's eyes narrowed. Kazari typed a few strokes on her laptop's keyboard, then closed the lid. "Please don't hurt me, sir," she said as she slid the computer across the table.

"You're a smart kid. Yeah, I'll probably get a couple of bucks for this. C'mon, people, I haven't got all day!"

Three minutes later, the thief was out the door, with Kazari's computer, the contents of the café's cash register, and everybody's wallets and cellphones.

As the clerk picked up the store's phone to call the police, Kazari waved at her. "Please let me take care of this." She pulled out her cellphone - not the one that Donaldson-san had given her when she first arrived in this reality and had just been stolen, but the one she had brought with her - turned it on, and tapped an icon. "He's turned left around a corner 40 meters away and is walking at a normal pace - oh, he just turned right."

"You can track him with that?" Rin's eyes were wide.

"I'm tracking my computer. As long as he has it, I know where he is."

"Then let's go."





2:49 pm ET


He'd made it to a quiet corner out of view of the average passer-by. Time to check the take. Cash, cellphones, a PC ... which didn't look like any model he was familiar with, but what did he know? He just sold the things to his fence.

Then he heard somebody clear her throat. He looked up and saw the girl who had been carrying all of his gemstones. "What the hell? How'd you find me?"

She said something - not English, not French ... maybe Latin? - and one of the gems he'd taken from her started to glow.

"What the f-"

He never had the chance to finish.

As the thief collapsed, Rin smiled. "Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for we are subtle and quick to anger." Kazari smiled at the Tolkien quote.

Rin bent down to recover her property from the insensate criminal.

"Oh, don't do that here," Kazari said, then picked up the bag with all of the stolen property. "Let's get this back to the café. We can sort it out there."





3:03 pm ET


Rin picked up the last of her gems, then turned to Kazari. "Does this sort of thing happen to you often?"

Kazari smiled thinly. "Too often for my preference. I'd rather have a desk job than be out in the field."

"You talk as if you're a police officer."

"Well, I was one back in Academy City, and you sound so much like my superior in Judgment back home that I was reminded of that life. But I'd rather not have to explain how we got everybody's property back."

"I believe that Bright-san knows somebody in the police. I'll ask her to explain once I'm home."

"Why not ask her now?"

Rin stared at Kazari for a brief moment, then facepalmed. "I keep forgetting that I carry a telephone now." She got out her phone, opened it, and looked at the screen for a moment - then turned and asked "Uiharu-san, how do I make a call with this, again?"

Kazari sighed, and almost said. "I knew you were old-fashioned, Tohsaka-san, but this is ridiculous"... before seeing the smile on her new friend's face.





7:22 pm ET


"Uiharu-san, you missed some great bargains! Where were you all afternoon?"

Kazari smiled. "I was making a friend. I'll introduce you to her at the party we'll all be attending on Halloween."

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  This isn't quite Doug's bike...
Posted by: Bob Schroeck - 08-14-2024, 05:37 PM - Forum: General DW Chatter - Replies (1)

but it's a lot closer than anything else I've seen over the years.

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  Pateron prices going up ... on Apple IOS
Posted by: robkelk - 08-14-2024, 02:11 PM - Forum: General Chatter - Replies (6)

Pateron: Apple’s requirements are about to hit creators and fans on Patreon. Here’s what you need to know.

tl;dr: New Pateron subscriptions will be subject to a 30% fee increase starting in November. Windows and Linux pricing is unaffected.

So if you have an iPhone and a Windows PC, sign up to sponsor creators on the PC, and don't give Apple the additional money.

(Fair disclosure: I own stock in Microsoft, so I'm biased here.)

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  Lots of network outages tonight
Posted by: classicdrogn - 08-14-2024, 03:27 AM - Forum: General Chatter - No Replies

I guess it's a bad night for the internet -- the list of major sites that are down in the sidebar on downforeveryoneorjustme is ten or twelve items long. Not here, obviously and QQ is too minor to be included even though that's what I was checking, but Tiktok and Twitter and several MMOs big enough for me to recognize the names despite generally having negative fucks to give about MMOs.

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  This is why we let experts do background checks
Posted by: robkelk - 08-12-2024, 05:11 PM - Forum: Politics and Other Fun - Replies (1)

CBC: New human rights commissioner resigns before starting role

I'm not going to atttempt a tl;dr on the article -- too many groups are telling only parts of the story, and nobody is telling the same parts of the story. It's a "he said, he said" situatiobn.

But what is clear is that the background check wasn't done by the groups that usually do background checks at this level of government.

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  So, the cast for the live-action "Lilo & Stitch" has been announced...
Posted by: Bob Schroeck - 08-12-2024, 09:23 AM - Forum: Politics and Other Fun - Replies (4)

Here, with photos.

So... how hard do you think it will be to get the Maga trolls to look stupid(er) by getting them to complain that the cast isn't 100% lily-white "like they ought to be"? <grin>

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  More Political Images thread
Posted by: Norgarth - 08-10-2024, 09:16 PM - Forum: Politics and Other Fun - Replies (175)

[Image: H3gPjNK.jpg]

[Image: nu7fF2n.jpg]

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  More formatting weirdness
Posted by: Labster - 08-10-2024, 06:55 PM - Forum: Forums - Replies (2)

http://www.accessdenied-rms.net/forums/s...53&page=11

Another time that my post has managed to break the forum's formatting.  Some of my sig above all of the other posts, and posts at the end in half-width.  I'm pretty sure this post is the problem:

http://www.accessdenied-rms.net/forums/e...pid=163665

Do you want to report this upstream?  It looks like a problem with the table tags.

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  Yes, the forums were down again.
Posted by: Bob Schroeck - 08-08-2024, 11:39 AM - Forum: Forums - Replies (1)

But if you're reading that, you can safely assume they're back. I noticed within minutes simply by chance, filed a ticket with my host, and the boards came back in about 90 minutes.

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