Quote:‘If you assholes get me into the crap I’m teleporting out and leaving you there’ she stated. ‘We’ve got to be completely surrounded by this warlords people out here haven’t we?’ she asked.

Janko pulled on his own beret. ‘We’re paratroopers’ he responded with a grin

‘We’re supposed to be surrounded’ Ashton told her.

‘And I’m the one they keep locked up for public safety’ Amy said to herself in disbelief.

-- Compelled To Play The Great Game, Chapter 28

Quote:So far, she and Xander had gotten them all to believe in vampires and demons. She gave them her version of the origin story (Once, there were powerful beings that had a civilization on Earth. It blew up and demons came in like scavengers. Eventually, humans and higher powers drove most of the powerful ones out of this dimension. Now, there are skyscrapers, boy bands, and ice cream that is called Chunky Monkey, but has no actual monkeys in it, chunky or otherwise.)

-- Tales From The Compelled Verse, Chapter 15

Quote:"Wait." said Jesse. "If that body of yours is just a mechanical ant, er.. fuzzy monkey - then what's your real form like?"

Mitzy smiled. "Bigger."

"Like 'basketball player reaching the ceiling with their head' bigger, 'Can't fit on an empty bus' bigger, or 'I'm here to fight Godzilla' bigger?" Jesse asked.

Mitzy's grin got bigger. "The last one."

-- Tales From The Compelled Verse, Chapter 15

Quote:Harry blinked. “Um, right. So, I’m Harry Potter. You are?”

“I think I’ll be Harry Potter too, if you don’t mind? It looks like fun,” the girl replied.

“Um… sure. Er, who were you before you decided to be Harry Potter too?” He asked, while thinking: ‘Just smile and nod and back away slowly from the crazy person, Harry.’

“Luna Lovegood, daughter of the world-renowned investigative journalist Xenophillius Lovegood,” she answered blithely.

“Oh… um… I’m sorry, I don’t think I’ve ever heard of him.” Harry said.

Luna smiled. “I wouldn’t have expected you to. You aren’t a world.”

-- Agent Double O Hex, chapter 3

Quote: "Sooni, we're not rivals," I said. "And we're never going to be friends. I'm not like your nekos. I'm not somebody
you can push around and then expect them to just turn around and worship at your feet… or kiss your ass.. or lick your pussy while you call me filth… or
whatever it is you want me to do for you."

"Subtext!" Sooni said, practically dancing with joy. "See? We have subtext now!"

Quote: I tried to look on the bright side. There was still every chance that when my actual friends showed up, Steff would kill Sooni. The slight chance that
she'd try to turn the corpse into some kind of undead sex puppet seemed like an acceptable risk, at this point.

Quote:2022

...

Dr. Rodney McKay destroys yet another solar system in an attempt to perfect the Arcturus Generator.

Quote: Asuka actually had it on good advice they had done nothing more then kiss, but Hikari flushed as if Asuka had accused her of filming hardcore pornography
videos, her conservative nature once again coming to the front.

"Toji, you sly devil" Kensuke smirked across the table. "So that's where you vanished to when-"

"What precisely would they be doing behind the Gym, Asuka?" Rei asked in an all too innocent tone, with a perfectly curious expression
on her face…

"Well um…you know…stuff" Asuka lamely replied, suddenly flushing asRei put her on the spot, to a general snickering.

"Stuff…" Rei echoed as Shinji took a sip of his apple juice, Rei turning to face Kensuke. "Should we also partake in this…stuff?"

Apple juice shot from Shinji's nose.

"Is something wrong, Ikari?" Rei asked, glancing across at him with that all too innocent tone as Shinji started coughing furiously, Toji and
Hikari stared at her in amazement, Asuka's jaw just dropped and Kensuke looked like he was about to faint…

Quote:Naruto and Sasuke emerged in a small room, decorated in stripes. They looked at each other, quickly discovering that they were dressed in pure white robes. Before they could make any other observations, a voice from behind them spoke out in a monotonous tone that suggested he had done this many times.

“Hello, my name is Momochi Zabuza, fourth seat of the 11th division. I’m here to guide you to your next place of work, as you have been chosen to become Shinigami. And… WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO DOING HERE?!”

The two dead gennin spun around, and were indeed greeted by the incredulous, still bandaged face of one Momochi Zabuza, Demon of the Hidden Mist, and now, fourth seat of the 11th division. “Well…” Naruto said. “We died.”

Quote: ECSNorway wrote:

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Quote: Naruto and Sasuke emerged in a small room, decorated in stripes. They looked at each other, quickly discovering that they were dressed in pure white robes.
Before they could make any other observations, a voice from behind them spoke out in a monotonous tone that suggested he had done this many times.




"Hello, my name is Momochi Zabuza, fourth seat of the 11th division. I'm here to guide you to your next place of work, as you have been chosen to
become Shinigami. And… WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO DOING HERE?!"




The two dead gennin spun around, and were indeed greeted by the incredulous, still bandaged face of one Momochi Zabuza, Demon of the Hidden Mist, and now,
fourth seat of the 11th division. "Well…" Naruto said. "We died."

Quote:Yusatora Sado, Chad to some people, had been a witness to many strange scenes in his life. He had been called a gangster and a mobster. He had been attacked by an invisible monster. He had had a parakeet talk to him for days, for crying out loud! But nothing had ever prepared him for the sight he was now seeing. “Jan, Ken, Po!” The two odd men yelled.

“Darn it Gai-sensei! Best Nine out of Seventeen this time!”

“A truly honorable proposition, my faithful student! We shall begin!” And thus, the strange rock-paper-scissors contest continued. Chad continued to stand there, feeling oddly out of place, but knowing it would be rude of him to just leave the two here. Finally the younger of the two raised his hand.

“Yes! I win!” he yelled. The other man nodded and clapped proudly.

“Good job, Lee! By defeating me in a contest of wits and skill, you have proven that you truly are a genius of hard work! Now, to claim your prize, a battle with this very polite ryoka!”

Lee turned to the dumbstruck Chad. “Thank you for waiting! My name is Rock Lee, the Burning Azure Best of the Seventh Division! Now, let us commence our combat!”

Chad shrugged. Well, he’d fought stranger.

Quote:“I choose you, Nidoking!” The Grassland gym leader threw out his first pokemon.

“Well, here goes nothing.” Naruto mumbled, reaching into his bag. “I choose you, fur-ball!” With that he threw the Kyuubi’s ball out into the ring.

“FREEDOM!” The nine-tailed beast roared. It immediately turned on Naruto, eyes ablaze with fire, tails twitching as it attacked with full force.

A quick kawarimi technique later and the gym leader’s body was traded for Naruto’s. He didn’t survive for more than a few seconds. His pokemon didn’t last much longer, either.

Needless to say, the few surviving spectators of the match would go on to say that Naruto had won. They gladly pushed the badge into his hand and hastened him out the door.

Quote:http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3343424/1/Shrouded_Orange

• XKCD #1288
  
• FoxReplace for Firefox

Quote:“Well thanks, I think.” Garibaldi frowned. “A gesture of trust huh? Did I mention I don’t trust people I don’t know?”

“You don’t trust people you do know!” Sheridan chuckled. “Which is another reason you’re the best choice. Besides, keep you out of trouble for a while.”

“Alright.” Garibaldi surrendered. “But if we end up at war with General O’Neill’s people I told you so.”

“It’ll be cool.” O’Neill assured. “People will think you’re Bruce Willis, you’ll fit right in.”

Quote: "Can it be that Dr. Felix Funck, balding, harried head of a ward in a great metropolitan booby-hatch is in reality ... Supershrink?"

Quote: "Wait for me, Superman, you pathetic neurotic, you, wait for me!"

Quote: "Hold it!" Carlos demanded. "Do you have authorisation to be here?"

"Of course I do." Tostig growled.

Carlos peered around at the group following the warrior. "And these people?"

"Hi." Mitchell grinned. "Say, look behind you, it's a diversion!"

"A what?" Carlos snapped around, realising half a second too late that it was a very stupid trick to fall for. He grimaced and prepared the
inevitable painful strike that was going to render him unconscious. He was not disappointed.

Quote: "And don't get me started on her great aunt," McGonagall continued, "the woman who decided that she was in love with half of Hufflepuff
house."

"They're all very happy together," Luna said primly, "except Uncle Gimpy . . . but Aunty says he'll eventually accept his fate and
stop trying to escape."

Quote: Jeap wrote:

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Harry stared and demanded, "How the hell did that fit up there?"




"A regulation Hogwarts skirt goes from waist to knee, which in my case is exactly 21 inches, more than enough room to hide a knife of this size,"
Hermione replied, "but of course, it's simply not practical for me to carry this on my person at all times, so I created a portal-"




"There's a magical portal up your skirt?!" Harry demanded, staring at Hermione in a completely new way.




"There's a magic portal up every girl's skirt," Hermione replied smugly.




"This is like the scariest sex ed class I've never had," Harry declared, looking suitably freaked out.

Quote:Asuka Comic

Quote: DreadnaughtVV wrote:

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Give us a link, you fool!