Jorlem Wrote:Link please?

Quote:Kotetsu's Rules Of Shinobi Conduct
1) Only give 90% of your effort on a given task. You may need that 10% for getting away.
2)
It is better to date a civilian girl than a kunoichi. They're easier to
impress, generally cheaper, and quite frequently a lot more sane.
Civilian girls are much less likely to appear out of nowhere and then
start throwing B-Rank attack jutsu your way because you missed their
birthday.
3) Becoming a jonin is overrated. You make a more
appealing target for enemy-nin who want a reputation, you're more
likely to end up in a bingo book, the pay isn't that much better, and
you're much more likely to end up with missions that involve outrageous
amounts of death and destruction.
4) When confronted by strange
glows and the smell of rotting meat coming from a hole in the ground,
the mission has gone south and it is time to run like hell.

Quote:Kotetsu's Rules Of Shinobi Conduct, part 2
5) Paperwork will expand to fill any available time and desktop space.6) Eldritch Horrors can ruin your whole day. Avoid.
7) The relevance and accuracy of any information is inversely proportional to how easy it is to acquire that information.
8)
If there is one building in the target area guarded 24/7, rigged with
alarms and traps, and has inhuman screams occasionally rising from
within - that is almost certainly your target. Except in the Village Of
Helsford, that's their hottest restaurant. Don't order the crab legs.

Quote:Just before he was about to walk away, Io’seah blurted out, “My lord! I
uh… if you would still speak with me, I have a concern.”
“What
concern is that?” Vulkan asked with a look on his face that indicated
that he suspected he did not want to talk about this.
“I… it is
probably improper of me, but it is a matter of honour that during the
ambush…” Vulkan’s face softened immediately and Io’seah found the
strength to go on, “During the ambush there was a tank…”
“My son, that was war, and we must accept that casualties happen…” Vulkan began.
“He fired on his own men,” Io’seah blurted out.
Vulkan’s eyebrows twitched upward and he said, “You wish to avenge the enemy?”
“It
is… it was battle, but he fired on one of his own vehicles to clear it
out of the way. I do not begrudge him trying to kill us, but to be such
a despicable, honourless cur…” Io’seah trailed off.
“You
remember the tank that did this?” Vulkan asked, to which Io’seah nodded.
Musing, Vulkan said, “I will remember to read your personal AAR
carefully then so I can establish an investigation and this animal be
found and put down.”

Quote:“Uh, yessir. One item.” Weatherly flipped his papers over and brought
up a message slip. “This came in from the Japanese embassy just now.
Prime Minister Yamamoto sends his congratulations, and a suggestion for
your speech announcing the events of the past couple days.” Weatherly
cleared his throat and read, keeping an absolutely straight face.
“Yesterday,
March 23rd, 1945, a date which will live in history, the Domination of
the Draka was suddenly and deliberately attacked by air and naval forces
belonging to the United States of America…” Roosevelt’s chuckle cut
him off.
“Very good. Captain, please convey my compliments back to the Prime Minister, and remind him that no one likes a smartass.”
Weatherly grinned. “Can do, Sir.”

Quote:"Why not Fulgrim?" Perturabo grumbled, glaring acidly at Rogal Dorn.

Dorn, on his part, remained stoic and took a sip of wine before replying. "You do remember what happened last time? The fact that he likes malls does not mean he should be allowed to accompany our sister and her honour guard. Besides, Mercury is your wife. Shouldn’t you be happy to help her?"

Perturabo snorted. "By that logic, you’re as good a candidate as me. Venus is your cousin, isn’t she?"

"And she threatened to record the pillow fort stories if I ever accompanied her on a shopping trip," Dorn replied, not managing to keep some smugness from creeping into his voice.

"What about Russ, then?" Perturabo asked, frowning.

"Lo! Did the hero rise his might mop and cleaned the treacherous floor!" a thunderous roar sounded from the depths of the Imperial Palace.

Dorn shrugged. "As far as I know he promised to do the cleaning himself in return for not having to accompany the Princess."

"Only a spoonful of detergent did he add to the water, no more, no less!"

"Is he enjoying it or is he yelling to make us all suffer with him?" Pertuabo asked, looking towards the door.

Quote:Mark found that, if powered by enough fear, he could outright
teleport. Fear is a strong point right now. He saw the look in their
eyes. He saw the raw anger about to be unleashed. On the other hand,
they were hot, so he's kind of confused about whether or not he should be afraid for his life or incredibly aroused.
No
one gives him a second glance as he runs through the hallways, running
as if the hounds of Hell are nipping at his heels, pushing past working
NERV employees as he runs down the hallway with signs leading towards
the exit.
Which, he finds, has been blocked off, boarded up, and then bricks lain in front of the board.
"Oh no," he whispers.
He looks up. The hallway is wider, ventilation ducts lining the circular roof.
"Oh no!"
In
fact, ventilation ducts are everywhere. On the floor at his feet, on
the walls at eye level, on the ceilings, and built into the brick wall.
"Oh No!"
Which is when the door to his right opens.
"Oh Yeah!" Kiko squeals, and tackles him, before popping open a duct and dragging the screaming Mark in.

Quote:"I think it's a stupid idea. To paraphrase one of our past guests, it is a stupid idea that is made of pure stupid, wrapped in stupid and then painted with melted stupid to give it an extra stupid flavor."

Bob Schroeck Wrote:And then there's...

Quote:"I think it's a stupid idea. To paraphrase one of our past guests, it is a stupid idea that is made of pure stupid, wrapped in stupid and then painted with melted stupid to give it an extra stupid flavor."

Quote:RL Superhero actually *does* something in General Chatter Forum

Jorlem Wrote:The title that was displayed on the top of my browser window in a thread over in subforum #1:

Quote:RL Superhero actually *does* something in General Chatter Forum

Quote:"But that's boys'- oh, I see!" the tailor tapped his forehead with the
palm of his hand in sudden understanding, and a smile that showed off
his pointed teeth appeared face. "You want to look like a prince, not a
princess! I should have realised immediately, what with the short hair
and the stories abou-"

"Just get to it!" Ami hung her head, silently gritting her teeth.

"Fine, fine," the tailor waved his fingers again, this time producing an
outfit that was much more to the young girls' tastes. "You realise that
the dark gods will frown upon you flaunting the dress code like that,
right?"

Ami's head snapped upward "They what? They have a dress code?"

"Allegedly. It is common knowledge that servants of darkness who ignore
the traditional attires in favour of less exciting garments suffer from
frequent wardrobe malfunctions."

"You are kidding me." Ami massaged the bridge of her nose, feeling a
headache coming. In light of her experiences, it made a distressing
amount of sense. "Very well. Please let's finish adjusting this costume
more to my tastes. I will have another look at your more," she sighed,
"traditional dresses later."

"As you wish, Keeper. Will you also require matching undergarments?"

When a thoroughly mortified Ami left the shop two hours later with her
purchases, the much enriched dark elf shook his head. Stupid humans. So
gullible.

ROTFL: MAO! - Printable Version +- Drunkard's Walk Forums (http://www.accessdenied-rms.net/forums) +-- Forum: General (http://www.accessdenied-rms.net/forums/forumdisplay.php?fid=1) +--- Forum: Other People's Fanfiction (http://www.accessdenied-rms.net/forums/forumdisplay.php?fid=8) +---- Forum: Archived Fanfic Recommendations (http://www.accessdenied-rms.net/forums/forumdisplay.php?fid=9) +---- Thread: ROTFL: MAO! (/showthread.php?tid=8160) Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13

- Jorlem - 12-14-2010 Quote:     "It's okay," Kyon assured her, frowning at his PDA.  "Not how I planned to wake up, but it could have been worse."  He shook his head, worn out from trying to figure out how to deal with everything so far.  Deciding he didn't need to solve it all himself, he turned to his address book.  "Got it," he declared, sitting up straight once more.      Kanae looked at him hopefully as he dialed Koizumi.  "Y...you know how to take care of everything?" she asked hopefully.      "Make Koizumi deal with it," he answered her, nodding. From chapter 36 of K:BDH. ----- Stand between the Silver Crystal and the Golden Sea. "Youngsters these days just have no appreciation for the magnificence of the legendary cucumber."  --Krityan Elder, Tales of Vesperia. - drakensis - 12-14-2010 Her sempai shot Kanae a beseeching look momentarily, before turning his attention to Haruhi.  "Okay, now ... it's not a problem.  Somehow, even my mom found out, so my schedule was clear.  I have no idea how Skynet missed it, but when you look at things, didn't I just get out of doing any preparation work at all for the party?  In a way, really, from my point of view, this is a triumph!" "Huge success," Yuki added, giving a tiny nod. Kyon: Big Damn Hero Boldtype D for Drakensis You're only young once, but immaturity is forever. - Jorlem - 12-15-2010 Quote:It must be some kind of unwritten law of the universe that if technology managed to advance to a level that provided some new form of privacy invading technology it would inevitably be found in an airport. I had little doubt that somewhere out there was some kind of secret organization of sadistic old men rubbing their hands together in glee and conspiring to find new ways to make the process of getting on and off a plane as painful and embarrassing as possible. As I stood as patiently as I could in the line for immigration, trying not to tap my foot in impatience while glancing around in paranoia at the world around me, I contemplated the newest way to make flying a pain in the rear. From In Flight, chapter 1. ----- Stand between the Silver Crystal and the Golden Sea. "Youngsters these days just have no appreciation for the magnificence of the legendary cucumber."  --Krityan Elder, Tales of Vesperia. - Jorlem - 12-15-2010 From a Baka to Test/ Type Moon cross: (link) Quote:Complete the following statement from last night's reading. "People die when they are ______" Ryougi: "People die when they are killed." Teacher: Correct. Nothing to comment on. Lancer: "People die when they are stabbed in the heart by Gae Bolg" Teacher: I suppose that should theoretically be true. However, Gae Bolg wasn't mentioned anywhere in last night's reading. Shirou: "People die when they are the bone of their sword" Teacher: Did you mean bane? Either way, they're both incorrect. ----- Stand between the Silver Crystal and the Golden Sea. "Youngsters these days just have no appreciation for the magnificence of the legendary cucumber."  --Krityan Elder, Tales of Vesperia. - Jorlem - 12-15-2010 From the same thread as above:  Shinji (F/SN) goes to several therapists: Quote:Shinji: "Recently, I've just been so stressed" Caren: "You pig." Shinji: "huh?" Shinji: "Recently, I've been pretty stressed" Araya: "Because your origin is worthlessness" Shinji: "... I'm leaving." Shinji: "I've been kinda stressed." Kotomine: "You should spent some time with this friend of mine, Gilgamesh. I'll introduce you to him." Shinji: "kay?" [later] Shinji: "I hate you." Shinji: "So, I've been kin-" Darth Sidious: "Good, give in to the dark side!" Shinji: "What?" Shinji: "So, I've been stressed recently." Freud: "Tell me, do you dream of fruit? Because a fruit is not just a fruit young man." Shinji: "um..." ----- Stand between the Silver Crystal and the Golden Sea. "Youngsters these days just have no appreciation for the magnificence of the legendary cucumber."  --Krityan Elder, Tales of Vesperia. - BYapes - 12-16-2010  From Mobile Suit Gundam SEED: Serenity chapter 43, we get two little tidbits:  First, ever wonder what would happen if two super aces fought, and the Turn-A was nowhere to be found? (Little in-joke regarding most Gundam vs. Gundam arguements) Quote:The Strike Freedom and Serenity were clashing less like titans or angels and more like a god and goddess. It was little more than an indistinct blur to any of the onlookers. Minako had revisited her comparison of the two to the Divine Protector Hachiman and the Divine Light Amaterasu. And honestly, it seemed apt right now. "Lesser mobile suits would've shattered," commented Faith, wincing slightly as another thunderous crash echoed. "The assault frame was designed for this sort of thing, but even I'm starting to worry they might push that to its limits as well." A final thunderous crash echoed... and then silence as everyone stared at the craters where the two mobile suits had crashed. "Great, now I'm gonna have to put those things back together!" moaned Shizuka.  And finally, the first thing said after an...interesting night brought about by spiked fruit punch....again. Quote:  "I. Am. Going. To. Murder. Them." These were the first entirely comprehensible words out of Makoto's mouth the next morning. She'd woken up naked in bed, itself not unusual, lying next to an Spoiler equally naked Kira ... which most certainly was out of the ordinary.  And it's worth noting that Lacus had helped with the aforementioned interesting night.  Brian Yaple  [url=mailto:BYapes@aol.com[/url]    Brian Y. Seed Chronicles - s3yang - 12-17-2010 http://www.collectedcurio.../sequentialart.php?s=668 I found this inordinately amusing for some reason, possibly because of reading some UF bits involving Top Gear. (The rest of the webcomic is pretty amusing too) - ECSNorway - 12-17-2010 Since Gryphon is apparently actually working on a new chapter of Warrior's Legacy, I thought I'd bring up one of my favorite quotes from that series while I re-read it. Quote:"Well, so the OSI is basically history. Poof, gone. But! There are plenty of other agencies out there with black budgets. After all, they have to pay people like me. I'm sure I can help find you a position with one of them. If you're interested, of course." I knew what Zoner was interested in. I shouldn't say that -- to be fair, he can be a fairly altruistic person -- but you didn't have to be Sherlock Holmes to tell he had an interest in her. Then again, she didn't seem to mind, and I couldn't particularly fault him for it. He looked at me as if he expected me to join in, so I did. "Sure, let's see. There's NSA, CIA, MI-5, MI-6, IMF, FBI, ATF, Mossad, SAS, SBS, Secret Service, GSG9, Spectrum, Interpol, UNIT, UNCLE, CONTROL, DEA, NASA, NACA... " I was starting to build up steam. "...TVA, WPA, SSA, FCC, FAA, NTSB, ICC, MBTA, BART, PBS, CBS, AFL-CIO, AT&T, ITT, MCI, IBM... " I seemed out of control by this time, but I knew what I was doing. "...NBC, ABC, OSS, MTV, VH-1, A&E, TLC, KFC, KLF, NFL, NBA, MLB, NHL, NHRA, CART, NASCAR, W3O, OSF, FSF, SCO, Ext2, HPFS, CCITT, ITU-T, IETF, BGP(4)... " Now I was just being silly. "...RIPv2, OSPF, ISIS, VLSM, BRI, PRI, SPID, TEI, B8ZS, AMI, TCP, UDP, ICMP, SPX, NCSA, RADIUS, TACACS, ACP... " Zoner was gasping for air and waving for me to stop. Meg looked both amused and confused. "...EIEIO." -- Sucrose Octanitrate. Proof positive that with sufficient motivation, you can make anything explode. - Black Aeronaut - 12-17-2010 Oh, c'mon man!  You left out the best part! Quote:"...EIEIO." That was all it took; Zoner nearly fell out of his chair. Meg mildly injured herself snarfing green tea. That was not my intention. I felt bad. "Are you OK?" I asked. "Yeah." *cough* "I'm fine. Boy, that really clears your head. I don't recommend it though." We both paused to observe Zoner gasping like a fish. (Odd expression, that, because when you come down to it a fish gasping isn't really like a person gasping at all...) I was just biding my time. He regained most of his composure and sipped some water to calm things. I struck. "Booger." Zoner's cheeks immediately puffed as he fought to restrain the water now trapped by the air that wanted to escape. He looked remarkably helpless. What was going through his mind? Do I spew water all over the table in front of this remarkably cute woman I've only know for an hour? Is it any cooler to choke to death on water? How long can I hold my breath anyway? By this time his lungs were aching for air and he had to do something. I'm sure it didn't help to have Meg and I watching him like hawks on nitrous. In the end he managed to force the water down the right pipe and dragged in the overdue breath. I think my ears popped from the pressure drop. It was priceless. Ah, what are friends for? - Jorlem - 12-17-2010 Link please? Also, from a fic update thread over on TFF: [table]

QUOTE (Glimmervoid @ Dec 17 2010, 09:53 AM)

[table]

QUOTE (crazylike.A. @ Dec 17 2010, 01:19 PM)

Are we talking about the bible because it updated?