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[Meta/Silly] Leatherman 'Wave?
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Okay, so I'm getting dressed for work, and I put my Leatherman Wave on, and wonder: What would happen to this thing if I exposed it to Handwavium?
Something cool? Something lame? End of the universe? You do not talk about the Leatherman Wave 'Wave? 
One word: Synergy.
(How that one word applies, I have no idea...) -- Rob Kelk "Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of the same sovereign, servants of the same law." - Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
I had another one . . . On the way to work I was behind a dark gunmetal gray Dodge Durango . . . with the license plate 001 FEN.
Who is that?
You got a glimpse of the mysterious and semi-mythical OverFen!
What did he look like? -- Rob Kelk "Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of the same sovereign, servants of the same law." - Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
I didn't get that good a look at them (I was behind them, and it was rush hour). It looked like a middle aged, heavy-set woman. But, I could be wrong.
It was, of course, a disguise.
-- Bob --------- Then the horns kicked in... ...and my shoes began to squeak. 
My thought? It becomes one of the few tools one can use to safely handle 'Wave, and it picks up sort of a Heisenberg effect. When you open it, it has just the right tool for the job, but if you need another, you need to close it and reopen it.
Hear that thunder rolling till it seems to split the sky? That's every ship in Grayson's Navy taking up the cry- NO QUARTER!!! -- "No Quarter", by Echo's Children
That sounds like something Niven put in one of his Louis Wu stories. I don't remember the details, but it was some sort of supertool that changed shape as needed.
"The Soft Weapon" or "The Slaver Weapon" depending on whether you got it from Star Trek or not.
-- Bob --------- Then the horns kicked in... ...and my shoes began to squeak. Star Ranger4 Wrote:My thought? It becomes one of the few tools one can use to safely handle 'Wave, and it picks up sort of a Heisenberg effect. When you open it, it has just the right tool for the job, but if you need another, you need to close it and reopen it."Hmm, the Wave thinks the right tool is a mig welder . . .." "Your Leatherman has a mig welder!?" "I've learned not to ask." Mark Skarr Wrote:Of course, a 'waved mig welder only works on Russian fighter jets...Star Ranger4 Wrote:My thought? It becomes one of the few tools one can use to safely handle 'Wave, and it picks up sort of a Heisenberg effect. When you open it, it has just the right tool for the job, but if you need another, you need to close it and reopen it."Hmm, the Wave thinks the right tool is a mig welder . . .." -- Rob Kelk "Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of the same sovereign, servants of the same law." - Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012 Mark Skarr Wrote:You do realize that Ben would be all over this so fast that it will be standard equipment for the Roughriders inside a month and available for retail two weeks after. It could be a joint venture between Ben and Noah. Ben would probably call it a Multiwave. It rolls off the tongue nicely, avoids any copyright infringement, and plays off the multitool theme (multitool + handwavium = multiwave).Star Ranger4 Wrote:My thought? It becomes one of the few tools one can use to safely handle 'Wave, and it picks up sort of a Heisenberg effect. When you open it, it has just the right tool for the job, but if you need another, you need to close it and reopen it."Hmm, the Wave thinks the right tool is a mig welder . . .." Hell, I could probably see the email... From: "Benjamin Rhodes" (blackrider@roughriders.fen) To: "Noah Scott" (REDACTED) Date: REDACTED Subj: Your capitalist heart is gonna love this! Noah! I guess you've heard about the craze with waving leatherman tools, but... I got a lockdown on a method to mass-produce these bastards! Just a bit quirky in that the tool provided will accomplish the job only in the strictest sense of the wording. (In other words, if it works, use it.) I can have a batch of ten sent down your way later if you're interested. Who do you think we should snag for the main factory lines? Hephaestus? Gnarlycurl? -Benjamin CinC of Roughriders, 36 Atalante Would you like blind, broke, or bedlam?
"What does the Multiwave think this time?"
"I got the corkscrew." "Oh, that's not subtle." Various attachments for the “Multiwave.” (Should be powered by the Rule of Funny) Corkscrew Rubber Chicken Socket-to-me Wrench (if you don’t get it, say it out loud; if you still don’t get it—you’re too young) Duck-tape dispenser Duck dispenser (QUACK!) Change machine (stick in a dollar and get four quarters) Swirly Straw Potato Peeler Garlic Press Logic Probe Illogic Probe Back Scratcher Compound Bow (full size, 60-lb pull, no arrows) Grappling hook Pinking shears Skate Key Flare gun (with flares) Lung-powered air compressor Thermometer Dictionary The obvious “Male and Female opener” are ignored since it would have the standard knife blades. Mark Skarr Wrote:Socket-to-me Wrench (if you don’t get it, say it out loud; if you still don’t get it—you’re too young)One of the semi-regulars uses an Arte Johnson photo as his avatar. I think we get it... Mark Skarr Wrote:Duck dispenser (QUACK!)Because you never know when you'll need http://www.animenewsnetwork.com/video/10874/]a ballerina. Mark Skarr Wrote:Pinking shearsCan also be used to cut hair, but only to give the girl Pink's hairdo. -- Rob Kelk "Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of the same sovereign, servants of the same law." - Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
I think you've hit upon the Fenspace equivalent of the Sonic Screwdriver or the Omnitool.
EDIT: Points to Rob for recognizing one of my favorite comedians, but to be completely factual, it's not Arte Johnson. That's Wolfgang, his German doppelganger. Ebony the Black Dragon http://ebony14.livejournal.com "Good night, and may the Good Lord take a Viking to you."
My question is, what does the illogic probe measure? The presence of Strong AI? (Strong AI would need to mimic the human capacity for "lateral thinking", which sometimes involves strongly illogical-seeming leaps.) How strongly something resists description or categorization? (The word "logic" is derived from the ancient Greek "?ó?o?", meaning "word", with a secondary meaning of "rule": "illogic" would be that which defies those things.)
Maybe part of the illogic probe could be a handwavium detector... *G*
I had to explain both the Skate Key and the Socket-to-me Wrench at work (to the point of having to explain who "Tricky Dick" was, as well).
My crack team (of fellow loonies) have come up with more attachments: Mop Turkey Baster Presidential Flash Cards Dog Whistle Elbow Grease Extractor Note book Eighth note book Rag DVD Rewinder Duck call Duck-tape call Stop watch Stop-That watch Ukulele French Horn Raggmopp E2: Metronome Metro-sexual Gnome ETA: Forgot a couple Quote:Note bookDeath Note book The Book of Love (author's name illegible) Quote:DVD RewinderBlu-Ray Rewinder Purple-Ray Rewinder http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ray_Charles]Brother Ray Rewinder (okay, okay...) Propeller wash and rinse Math test study aid Blood test study aid Guitar tuner Guitar tuna -- Rob Kelk "Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of the same sovereign, servants of the same law." - Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
Glass cutter
Tin snips Circuit Tester (for residential alternating current - universal) Steamer (can be used for carpet cleaning or lattes) Tooth Brush Hair Brush Wire Brush Bore Brush (Ben loves that one - "Finally! I don't have to carry tool box to clean my guns!") Bottle Brush Battery Brush Mustache Brush Paint Brush Air Brush Feather Duster Finger Print Duster French Tickler (Ben: "WTF!?!!?) Abacus Graphing Calculator World's Tiniest Violin World's Largest Bacteria Threading Needle Sewing Needle Knitting Needle Bone Needle Record Player Needle Quilting Needle Cactus Needles (OUCH!) Space Needle (Don't ask) Carving Knife Throwing Knife Meat Cleaver Hatchet Super Laser (a la Deathstar, because I think this thing should look like Largo's Cool Thing. Otherwise Harmless.) Quote:Steamer (can be used for carpet cleaning or lattes)Or pork buns. Quote:Hair BrushAnd Hare Brush. Quote:Throwing KnifeMack the Knife Quote:Meat CleaverBeaver Cleaver. And a few of my own: Solar-powered battery charger Battery-powered solar charger (extends the lifetime of the sun by an infinitesimal amount for every battery you feed it) Garden weasel Clue bat Left-handed smoke shifter Snipe call Nerf drill -- Bob --------- Then the horns kicked in... ...and my shoes began to squeak. Quote:French Tickler (Ben: "WTF!?!!?)Doberman Pincher (no, it's spelled correctly) E: kept having trouble with the quote. Bob Schroeck Wrote:Battery-powered solar charger (extends the lifetime of the sun by an infinitesimal amount for every battery you feed it)This will be very useful for longtime survival... 
Flight line dispenser
Left-handed monkey wrench AC battery charger (Only charges AC batteries) DC battery charger (looks like a green railroad signal lantern, for some reason) Change Machine (Grows a big red button marked "Change Machine". Go on. Point it at a machine and push the button. You know you want to. Who knows what'll happen?)
Lockblade knife
Keyblade knife (Just what it says on the label, a pocket knife blade that looks like a Keyblade) Elephant repellent stick (See any elephants around here? No? Works pretty good, doesn't it?) Bean counter Pencil pusher Slide rule Circular slide rule (Real Mad Scientists use circular slide rules!) Dental floss (Hey, some Swiss Army knives come with toothpicks; why not floss?) Silly String dispenser Serious String dispenser (It's just a spool of string.) Cosmic String dispenser (Handle With Care!) Ebony the Black Dragon http://ebony14.livejournal.com "Good night, and may the Good Lord take a Viking to you." |
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