I'm working on the third chapter at the moment and I could do with a little help. One of the ideas I've been working on is a steadily escalating tension between the protagonist and the staff at Hogwarts. Unfortunately, the initial confrontation with Professor McGongall after the first flying lessons, has gotten out of hand and I'm not sure if I can salvage it or will have to ditch it.
I'd appreciate your input. The confrontation as it's written at the moment is as follows:
---------------------------------------------------------
Padma shook her head as Michael sat down opposite her. Shes right, Hal, she told him. You and Malfoy are always fighting I heard you punched him on the Hogwarts Express as well. You cant just go on doing that the Malfoys are a very old family and theyre very powerful.
Whats he going to do? Michael asked. Get his dad to have my dad fired from his job or something? Might be a teeny bit difficult.
But think about the points youll lose Ravenclaw if you keep fighting youre being really selfish.
Michael glared at her. Im being selfish? he asked incredulously, leaning forward over the table. Youre perfectly okay with Malfoy getting away with being a theiving bully as long as he doesnt bother you but Im being selfish. And Professor McGonagall reckons it takes two to fight so we should just leave him to get on with it. No wonder Voldemort got away with all this crap evidently no one was willing to stand up to him in case there was a fight or someone docked them points. Gryffindor courage doesnt seem to go very far, does it?
His voice had been rising steadily as he spoke and silence had fallen over the Hall after Michael snarled the name Voldemort.
Five points from Ravenclaw, Professor McGonagall snapped. A great many wizards and witches died fighting the Dark Lord, Mr Potter. Among them your parents.
And you seem intent on making sure no one does fights back again, Michael snorted, rising from his seat to face her. Since you evidently seem to think no one should stand up to a bully and a coward, oh mighty Head of Gryffindor.
Professors will deal with such matters, she said flatly, approaching him. Now sit down or you will cost Ravenclaw even more points.
Michael put one foot on the bench and shoved his dishes back so that he could sit on the table. Really? he asked sarcastically. Professors will stand up for their students and make sure they arent bullied? Maybe you should ask yourself, Professor McGongall, why didnt anyone go to you? There were more than a dozen students witness to Malfoybeing a theiving git, half of them from your house. But how many told a Professor? Apparently none of them. Do you have any idea whey they might not have any faith youd do anything? Maybe they think youd slap them down like you just tried to do me.
There was a cough from the high table and McGonagall turned to see Albus Dumbledore looking at them through his glasses. Detention, she hissed, eyes bright with anger. My office, immediately after dinner.
Ill be there, Michael replied coldly as the Professor stalked away. No Quarter, NO QUARTER! You damn well earned your fate.
Give Harrington our compliments; we're sorry you are late.
- No Quarter, Echoes Children
D for Drakensis
You're only young once, but immaturity is forever.
I'd appreciate your input. The confrontation as it's written at the moment is as follows:
---------------------------------------------------------
Padma shook her head as Michael sat down opposite her. Shes right, Hal, she told him. You and Malfoy are always fighting I heard you punched him on the Hogwarts Express as well. You cant just go on doing that the Malfoys are a very old family and theyre very powerful.
Whats he going to do? Michael asked. Get his dad to have my dad fired from his job or something? Might be a teeny bit difficult.
But think about the points youll lose Ravenclaw if you keep fighting youre being really selfish.
Michael glared at her. Im being selfish? he asked incredulously, leaning forward over the table. Youre perfectly okay with Malfoy getting away with being a theiving bully as long as he doesnt bother you but Im being selfish. And Professor McGonagall reckons it takes two to fight so we should just leave him to get on with it. No wonder Voldemort got away with all this crap evidently no one was willing to stand up to him in case there was a fight or someone docked them points. Gryffindor courage doesnt seem to go very far, does it?
His voice had been rising steadily as he spoke and silence had fallen over the Hall after Michael snarled the name Voldemort.
Five points from Ravenclaw, Professor McGonagall snapped. A great many wizards and witches died fighting the Dark Lord, Mr Potter. Among them your parents.
And you seem intent on making sure no one does fights back again, Michael snorted, rising from his seat to face her. Since you evidently seem to think no one should stand up to a bully and a coward, oh mighty Head of Gryffindor.
Professors will deal with such matters, she said flatly, approaching him. Now sit down or you will cost Ravenclaw even more points.
Michael put one foot on the bench and shoved his dishes back so that he could sit on the table. Really? he asked sarcastically. Professors will stand up for their students and make sure they arent bullied? Maybe you should ask yourself, Professor McGongall, why didnt anyone go to you? There were more than a dozen students witness to Malfoybeing a theiving git, half of them from your house. But how many told a Professor? Apparently none of them. Do you have any idea whey they might not have any faith youd do anything? Maybe they think youd slap them down like you just tried to do me.
There was a cough from the high table and McGonagall turned to see Albus Dumbledore looking at them through his glasses. Detention, she hissed, eyes bright with anger. My office, immediately after dinner.
Ill be there, Michael replied coldly as the Professor stalked away. No Quarter, NO QUARTER! You damn well earned your fate.
Give Harrington our compliments; we're sorry you are late.
- No Quarter, Echoes Children
D for Drakensis
You're only young once, but immaturity is forever.