What I think?
Good. But you knew that.
The Hinata/Neji fight seems too abrupt this time - it worked well enough in the previous version, but this time it seems like the scene has barely begun when suddenly they're fighting; I don't think there's nearly enough lead-in.
Also, earlier: you seem to make a policy of using certain Japanese words instead of English equivalents or near-equivalents. I don't hold with those who say that "Japanese terminology in a fanfic is inherently a bad thing", but in this case, I think that the use of "demo" is a bad idea - both because simply using "but" will convey what seems to me to be the same effect just as well, and because "demo" is also a word in English, with a completely different meaning; I keep tripping over the word whenever I see you use it, and have to remind myself of what it signifies in this context, and I think that can't help but be an impediment to the fic.
Beyond that... nothing really hits me that I could mention at the moment, I think. I have a few issues about the approach you're taking to training the genin (in re. training to take advantage of natural strengths vs. training to reduce natural weaknesses - I think a balanced approach is essential, and I don't see that in each individual genin), but I'm not being able to put that into words at the moment.
Good. But you knew that.
The Hinata/Neji fight seems too abrupt this time - it worked well enough in the previous version, but this time it seems like the scene has barely begun when suddenly they're fighting; I don't think there's nearly enough lead-in.
Also, earlier: you seem to make a policy of using certain Japanese words instead of English equivalents or near-equivalents. I don't hold with those who say that "Japanese terminology in a fanfic is inherently a bad thing", but in this case, I think that the use of "demo" is a bad idea - both because simply using "but" will convey what seems to me to be the same effect just as well, and because "demo" is also a word in English, with a completely different meaning; I keep tripping over the word whenever I see you use it, and have to remind myself of what it signifies in this context, and I think that can't help but be an impediment to the fic.
Beyond that... nothing really hits me that I could mention at the moment, I think. I have a few issues about the approach you're taking to training the genin (in re. training to take advantage of natural strengths vs. training to reduce natural weaknesses - I think a balanced approach is essential, and I don't see that in each individual genin), but I'm not being able to put that into words at the moment.