Quote:*blush*
Good. But you knew that.
Quote:There isn't. Unfortunately, I'm sort of stuck for how to fix it - I couldn't just leave it like it was, because even if the audience didn't, -I- still knew what was missing... but this is only a little better. Help!
The Hinata/Neji fight seems too abrupt this time - it worked well enough in the previous version, but this time it seems like the scene has barely begun when suddenly they're fighting; I don't think there's nearly enough lead-in.
Re: Demo -
Hm. Yeah, I can see where that'd be coming from, although it doesn't happen to me - I only think of the English as either the full word or as part of a stock phrase... neither of which usages triggers from the Japanese. Unfortunately, if I'm going to keep using Japanese exclamations - and I intend to, since it perpetuates the contrast with the fact that Neshan -doesn't- - I can't see making a special exception for this one word.
Quote:I think that you're perhaps incorrect in assuming that it's an either-or situation. Yes, Sakura's training is taking shameless advantage of her control and academic skills - but in the process of working on those, she's also polishing her gen-and-ninjutsu and getting exactly the ideal amount of exercise for her 'chakra muscles'.
I have a few issues about the approach you're taking to training the genin (in re. training to take advantage of natural strengths vs. training to reduce natural weaknesses - I think a balanced approach is essential, and I don't see that in each individual genin), but I'm not being able to put that into words at the moment.
Also, Genin, by my understanding/interpretation, are not supposed to work alone. Ever. Therefore, the early training of any ninja is going to be aimed at how to best integrate them into a team - which means that excellence in a particular aspect is to be prized, and that your own weaknesses can be covered and compensated for by your teammates' strengths. Solo work, and the more balanced skills required for same, come later, at the Jounin and high Chuunin levels.
Finally, I think that having a universally acknowledged area of expertise, where they can approach or even exceed ninja decades senior to them, would provide a very useful boost to a Genin's self esteem and confidence - that, -knowing- that they have respect for their field, they'll be able to compromise and obey more easily outside of it.
Ja, -n
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"V, did you do something foolish?"
"Yes, and it was glorious."