Er, Griever... I don't know for sure how Nathan was reading it, but what I actually meant wasn't that the fight was too short, it was that the lead-in to the fight was too short; there wasn't enough between the beginning of the scene and the beginning of the fight, given that she didn't come there with the specific intention of fighting, to make it seem plausible for them to start fighting that suddenly. I seem to remember the lead-in being longer, and ramping it up better, in the previous version... but this time around, the fight seemed to start too abruptly.
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TGNH - Chapter 2
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TGNH - Chapter 2 - by Valles - 07-01-2005, 02:57 AM
Re: TGNH - Chapter 2 - by The Wanderer - 07-01-2005, 09:05 AM
Re: TGNH - Chapter 2 - by Valles - 07-01-2005, 08:15 PM
Re: TGNH - Chapter 2 - by The Wanderer - 07-01-2005, 10:59 PM
Re: TGNH - Chapter 2 - by Rieverre - 07-01-2005, 11:05 PM
Re: TGNH - Chapter 2 - by The Wanderer - 07-01-2005, 11:19 PM
Re: TGNH - Chapter 2 - by Valles - 07-01-2005, 11:47 PM
Relevant bit of the old version of the last scene's lead-in - by Valles - 07-01-2005, 11:49 PM
Re: TGNH - Chapter 2 - by Valles - 07-01-2005, 11:59 PM
Re: TGNH - Chapter 2 - by Valles - 07-05-2005, 06:00 AM
Re: TGNH - Chapter 2 - by Acyl - 07-05-2005, 05:44 PM
Re: TGNH - Chapter 2 - by Valles - 07-05-2005, 06:27 PM
Another draft of the Hina-Neji scene - by Valles - 07-06-2005, 01:19 AM
Ch 3, Scene 1! - by Valles - 07-06-2005, 07:51 AM
Re: Ch 3, Scene 1! - by Star Ranger4 - 07-06-2005, 08:35 AM
Re: Ch 3, Scene 1! - by Valles - 07-06-2005, 08:43 AM
Re: Ch 3, Scene 1! - by Star Ranger4 - 07-07-2005, 06:29 PM
Chapter 3, Scene 5 - by Valles - 07-12-2005, 04:28 AM
Re: Chapter 3, Scene 5 - by ClassicDrogn - 07-12-2005, 10:28 PM
Re: Chapter 3, Scene 5 - by Angryoptimist - 07-13-2005, 06:37 AM
Re: Chapter 3, Scene 5 - by Valles - 07-13-2005, 06:48 AM
Re: TGNH - Chapter 2 - by Herr Bad Moon - 07-18-2005, 04:06 AM
Re: TGNH - Chapter 2 - by Valles - 07-18-2005, 05:17 AM
I just realized... - by Valles - 07-19-2005, 06:05 AM
Re: TGNH - Chapter 2 - by happerry - 07-19-2005, 07:57 AM
TGNH - Chapter 1 - by Valles - 07-19-2005, 08:32 AM
Re: I just realized... - by Herr Bad Moon - 07-19-2005, 11:18 AM
Re: TGNH - Chapter 2 - by Bob Schroeck - 07-19-2005, 02:06 PM
Re: TGNH - Chapter 2 - by happerry - 07-19-2005, 07:00 PM
A -Wierd- Thought - by Valles - 07-20-2005, 10:01 AM
The hell with it. - by Valles - 07-21-2005, 11:09 PM
The hell with it. - by Rieverre - 07-21-2005, 11:50 PM
Re: The hell with it. - by Valles - 07-22-2005, 12:39 AM
Re: The hell with it. - by Angryoptimist - 07-22-2005, 03:07 AM
Re: The hell with it. - by Valles - 07-22-2005, 03:35 AM
Re: The hell with it. - by Angryoptimist - 07-22-2005, 03:50 AM
Re: The hell with it. - by Valles - 07-22-2005, 05:11 AM
Re: The hell with it. - by ClassicDrogn - 07-22-2005, 07:00 AM
Re: The hell with it. - by Valles - 07-22-2005, 07:45 AM
Re: The hell with it. - by Herr Bad Moon - 07-22-2005, 08:37 AM
Re: The hell with it. - by Valles - 07-22-2005, 09:20 AM
Re: The hell with it. - by Herr Bad Moon - 07-22-2005, 10:32 AM
Re: The hell with it. - by drakensis - 07-22-2005, 10:34 AM
Re: The hell with it. - by Acyl - 07-22-2005, 05:52 PM
Re: The hell with it. - by Valles - 07-22-2005, 06:33 PM
Re: The hell with it. - by ClassicDrogn - 07-22-2005, 09:26 PM
Re: The hell with it. - by Valles - 07-22-2005, 10:43 PM
Re: The hell with it. - by ClassicDrogn - 07-22-2005, 10:58 PM
Re: The hell with it. - by Valles - 07-22-2005, 11:46 PM
Re: The hell with it. - by ClassicDrogn - 07-23-2005, 01:28 AM
Re: The hell with it. - by Valles - 07-23-2005, 03:18 AM
Re: The hell with it. - by ClassicDrogn - 07-23-2005, 05:29 AM
I'm proud of this - by Valles - 07-25-2005, 12:40 AM
Re: sugoiiii - by Valles - 07-25-2005, 01:41 AM
Re: I'm proud of this - by ClassicDrogn - 07-25-2005, 02:37 AM
Re: I'm proud of this - by Valles - 07-25-2005, 05:22 AM
Re: I'm proud of this - by Herr Bad Moon - 07-27-2005, 05:43 AM
Re: I'm proud of this - by Valles - 07-27-2005, 06:25 AM
Re: I'm proud of this - by Rieverre - 07-27-2005, 08:19 AM
Progress Report - by Valles - 08-01-2005, 03:00 AM
Re: Progress Report - by ClassicDrogn - 08-01-2005, 07:59 AM
Re: Progress Report - by Valles - 08-01-2005, 08:10 AM
Re: Progress Report - by Florin - 08-01-2005, 08:25 AM
Re: Progress Report - by ClassicDrogn - 08-01-2005, 08:43 AM
Why is it... - by Valles - 08-02-2005, 02:31 AM
Bored at Not-Really-Work - by Valles - 08-05-2005, 08:24 PM
Re: Bored at Not-Really-Work - by WengFook - 08-05-2005, 09:25 PM
Re: Bored at Not-Really-Work - by Valles - 08-06-2005, 05:52 AM
Re: Kyuubi - by drakensis - 08-06-2005, 10:01 AM
Re: Kyuubi - by ClassicDrogn - 08-13-2005, 09:21 PM
Re: Kyuubi - by Valles - 08-14-2005, 05:27 AM
Re: TGNH - Chapter 2 - by ClassicDrogn - 10-03-2005, 09:42 PM
Re: TGNH - Chapter 2 - by Valles - 10-03-2005, 10:00 PM
Re: TGNH - Chapter 2 - by ClassicDrogn - 10-04-2005, 07:04 PM
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