Nice. Keeping the principal in a secure area and then summoning when they reached the house. That's really clever.
Sorry, but despite the sympathy his character was meant to evoke, Inari irritated the crap out of me both as a whiner and super brave kid.
You know, I remember you mentioned that you follow the "Do the worst possible thing to your characters" philosophy of writing, but damn Nathan, I have to tip my hat. That is a seriously fucked up thing to do to Sakura. Both Hell Sakura and Our Sakura. Its still just sort of sinking in. If I were Sakura, this would seriously screw with my world view. She mentioned that what kind of person could do the monstrous things she saw in the headquarters. Well, she has an answer. HER. And while her time with Neshan has largely gotten rid of her need to validate herself through others approval, I can see her backsliding and obsessing about what her teammates think of her. I think that Naruto and Sasuke will instinctively can seperate Hell Sakura and Our Sakura, the groups acceptence of Kyuubi shows that. But how long will it take Sakura to figure that out?
And Neshan. Hell Sakura's a smart cookie, so she's gonna wonder who the hell this guy is and where Kakashi is. And she's gonna want those answers no, and won't be picky on how she gets them. You mention you are thinking about how Neshan can let the others get away at the sacrafice of himself. Well, what if she lets him stall her to get her hands on him?---------------
Leo: (July 23 - Aug 22)
You'll feel a lot better with warm clothes on your back and food in your stomach, proving that cannibalism has a couple things going for it.
---
Jon
"And that must have caused my dad's brain to break in half, replaced by a purely mechanical engine of revenge!"
Quote:Yooooo! The firey passions of youth fuel this excellent display of the Shining Emerald Village Known As the Hidden Leaf most valient asset, TEAMWORK! YOOOOO!
[J.L. vs. Demon Bros.]
Quote:Or alternatively "The fools who just kept your Grandfather alive from the attacks of elite shinobi from a village known for its visciousness you ingratful brat."
The young boy standing at the foot of the stairs adjusted his fisherman's hat and walked over to stare up at Neshan, the oldest of the ninja and the obvious leader. "What kind of fool risks his life for nothing but money?" he sneered.
...Neshan laid a restraining hand on his student's shoulder. "A tyrant thrown down, a nation freed, thousands of lives bettered... That's a success worth dying for, I think."
Sorry, but despite the sympathy his character was meant to evoke, Inari irritated the crap out of me both as a whiner and super brave kid.
Quote:Oh Shits!
Her long, slightly feathery pink hair swept and tangled behind her in an unrestrained mass which was held back from her face by a Konoha hitae-ite across the top of her head. Its slightly tarnished surface had had a deep, straight score etched across its distinguishing sigil. Her eye sockets were badly scarred, and the organs occupying them had obviously been transplanted, since one of them gleamed with the deceptive white blankness of the Hyuuga Byakugan.
"Sharingan," he breathed
You know, I remember you mentioned that you follow the "Do the worst possible thing to your characters" philosophy of writing, but damn Nathan, I have to tip my hat. That is a seriously fucked up thing to do to Sakura. Both Hell Sakura and Our Sakura. Its still just sort of sinking in. If I were Sakura, this would seriously screw with my world view. She mentioned that what kind of person could do the monstrous things she saw in the headquarters. Well, she has an answer. HER. And while her time with Neshan has largely gotten rid of her need to validate herself through others approval, I can see her backsliding and obsessing about what her teammates think of her. I think that Naruto and Sasuke will instinctively can seperate Hell Sakura and Our Sakura, the groups acceptence of Kyuubi shows that. But how long will it take Sakura to figure that out?
And Neshan. Hell Sakura's a smart cookie, so she's gonna wonder who the hell this guy is and where Kakashi is. And she's gonna want those answers no, and won't be picky on how she gets them. You mention you are thinking about how Neshan can let the others get away at the sacrafice of himself. Well, what if she lets him stall her to get her hands on him?---------------
Leo: (July 23 - Aug 22)
You'll feel a lot better with warm clothes on your back and food in your stomach, proving that cannibalism has a couple things going for it.
---
Jon
"And that must have caused my dad's brain to break in half, replaced by a purely mechanical engine of revenge!"