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Pointless Powers
Pointless Powers
#1
You know... those songs that have strong power effects, but really aren't *good* for anything?
Weird Al: "Like a Surgeon." Gives Doug M4d 5ur61c4L 5k1LLz for the duration of the song, theoretically including the ability to do things normally considered impossibly by medical science. Unfortunately, even with the assistance of combat-hyping, Dr Doug just can't finish a major operation before the song runs out (even though this song power, unusually, doesn't cut off when the song ends, but sort of 'bleeds off' quickly -- sort of like Doctor ma'Qoy in the "SpoQ's Brain" episode of "may'Duj bortaS." Smile
OTOH, it *does* let him be absolutely unbeatable at "Operation," or "Medical Trivial Pursuit"....
Def Leppard: "Pour Some Sugar on Me." Allows Doug to fire jets of hot (but not harmfully so) liquid-sugar icing at fire-hose intensity from his hands. Sort of like Peter Parker's webbing, but harder on the teeth. Would come in handy if Doug were a Marvel Comics character (ref all those Hostess Cake/Pie ads in 70s and 80s Marvel issues).
3 Dog Night: "Jeremiah Was a Bullfrog." The only reason Doug doesn't know what this song does is b/c he's never played it within AOE of anyone named Jeremiah. Lucky for *them,* since the effect is *permanent,* barring corrective action from someone else.
Sammy Hagar: "Marching to Mars." Sort of like a slow-mo version of Thunder Road, except it only leads to the local plane's Mars (or equivalent), at walking speed... and doesn't do anything to protect you once you're there. Also, stopping the song partway through leaves Doug at a proportional straight-line distance between his starting point and Mars's current position -- watch out for that hard vacuum, Doug. Or that suntan, if you started out at opposition. But perhaps the worst part is that it doesn't provide any way to get *back.*
"Werewolves of London." Fortunately, Thibor's not *from* London. Of course, if he's *in* London (England, Ontario, Illinois...)
The "Major General" song from "Pirates of Penzance": "The part of Doug will be played by Danny Kaye with all behavioral limitations removed." (actually, I could see Doug as a big DK fan -- he comes the closest I can think of to a live-action Bugs Bunny in a lot of ways).
Twisted Sister: "I Wanna Rock." For the next three minutes, Doug Sangnoir will be the Beethoven of Rock&Roll -- literally, since he can't hear what he's playing. But once it's over, *boy* will his arms be tired....
(plus, there's all these *rocks* teleported in randomly from God-knows-where all over the stage....)
Sir Mix-a-Lot: "Baby Got Back." Let's... all just be *very* thankful he didn't use *this* on the Knight Sabers in DWII, shall we?
C&C Music Factory: "Everybody Dance Now." And we mean *everybody.* Could be handy for stopping small riots, but that's about it, since no one in the AOE can do *anything* else until the song's over. And *this* one, Doug can't even shut off early!
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Messages In This Thread
Pointless Powers - by SkyeFire - 10-29-2005, 03:44 PM
Re: Pointless Powers - by robkelk - 10-29-2005, 04:34 PM
Re: Pointless Powers - by ClassicDrogn - 10-30-2005, 02:15 AM
Re: Pointless Powers - by HoagieOfDoom - 10-30-2005, 07:02 AM
Re: Pointless Powers - by ClassicDrogn - 10-30-2005, 07:58 AM
Re: Pointless Powers - by Ebony - 10-31-2005, 07:30 PM
Re: Pointless Powers - by Bob Schroeck - 12-05-2005, 10:26 PM
Re: Pointless Powers - by Balentius - 12-08-2005, 05:34 AM
Re: Pointless Powers - by Bob Schroeck - 12-08-2005, 04:40 PM
Re: Pointless Powers - by Evil Midnight Lurker - 12-13-2005, 12:08 AM

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