NGE: Nobody Dies

[Wiregeek]

Chapter 25, wherein Mana stretches her command of profanity, Asuka finally loses her shit, and Rei gets knocked the FUCK out.

When this is finished, I'm going to run through and edit the damn thing, then email it back to the author. Cracktastic, and horrrrrrrrible writing. I've seen DS turn out more readable prose.
"No can brain today. Want cheezeburger."
From NGE: Nobody Dies, by Gregg Landsman
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5579457/1/NGE_Nobody_Dies

[The Wanderer]

...if you think this is horrible writing, then you must be utterly unable to stand the very sight of even much of what gets recommended on these forums, let alone the bulk of FFnet.

It's not sparkling, monument-to-quality work like you tend to get from e.g. Vathara, but it's certainly within tolerances, which is more than I can say for most other things.

[Wiregeek]

utterly unable to stand the very sight of even much of what gets recommended on these forums, let alone the bulk of FFnet.

Yeah, that about describes me. Though I use more profanity and show less respect for my fellow man.

Now, that being said, I still love this fic, because it is _that awesome_
"No can brain today. Want cheezeburger."
From NGE: Nobody Dies, by Gregg Landsman
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5579457/1/NGE_Nobody_Dies

[Bluemage]

Y'know, it's funny.  Spelling errors and grammatical problems barely bother me in fanfiction.  I can read all but the worst of fics with nary a shudder or twitch.  They bother me in published works, though, and irritate me to no end in e-mails and other forms of communication.
I guess it's partly a matter of respect, and partly a matter of attention.  I don't pay much attention to every single letter and sentence in fanfiction, preferring to grab ideas and events whole from the text.  Published works are read more closely, so I catch more, and letters (or e-mails/private messages/forum posts) are read closest of all.  More than that, it shows disrespect to the recipient to not send them a readably sensical message.  It shows that they're not worth the effort to you.
I suppose the respect issue is different for fanfic because you're not sending it to someone, but putting it online. 

---

My Unitarian Jihad Name is: Brother Atom Bomb of Courteous Debate. Get yours.

I've been writing a bit.

[The Hunterminator]

The eye lights up on Unit 05’s brow. The entire Evangelion shudders, the locks around its jaw breaking as it growls.

“AI Core Locks disengaged,” a voice booms through the shoulder mounted speakers, “Communism detected! Combat Systems, engaged!”

Who the hell allowed Alpha Complex to build an Evangelion?

[ordnance11]

Gendo Ikari as  Honest Abe...the mind boggles
__________________
Into terror!,  Into valour!
Charge ahead! No! Never turn
Yes, it's into the fire we fly
And the devil will burn!
- Scarlett Pimpernell

[drakensis]

The cradle rocks and Unit-01 rockets upwards. Yui grimaces, standing next to Misato as the Big Screen shows them 05 continuing its march.

“Poor girl,” she says, “Rei must be terrified.”

The scream coming from the plug is loud, and continuous, and resembles the pitch and tone of a football fan during a particularly impressive play. Hands up, index and pinky finger prominently displayed, the landscape is a blur with plenty of shit blowing up.

“WOOOOO! I wanna marry this baby!!!!!!”

Flipping the switches lining the seat towards the butterfly controls, a holographic display appears, buttons labeled in English hanging in the virtual space in front of her. Clapping her hands and squealing, Rei hovers her hands over the controls.

She just found its weapons suite.

“Oooooo…what does this button do?”

I'm not sure who this Rei is that Yui's talking about. Certainly not the one I'm familiar with.
D for Drakensis

You're only young once, but immaturity is forever.

[Valles]

She's... a Rei who was cloned by Naoko Akagi as a programmed AT-powered assassin, then raised by Yui and Gendo Ikari.

Fans of the story refer to her, with great awe and respect, as 'Terrifying!Rei'.

Earlier in the fic, there was a chapter featuring The Great Reiquarium Escape as a B-plot. One Rei held Tokyo-3 for ransom, supervillain style, demanding "One million helicopters and a dollar."

...She is not the most changed character from original canon.
===========

===============================================
"V, did you do something foolish?"
"Yes, and it was glorious."

[Bob Schroeck]

Um. V, I think he means, the Rei that Yui is imagining as being terrified bears no resemblance to the one that everyone reading the fic has seen so far.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

[Wiregeek]

I can't believe I'm the first person to see this.

A head taller than the other Evangelions, pylons jutting from the arms instead of the shoulders and ending in what appear to be turret mounts, it stands on four ball jointed legs ending in clawed feet. Its left arm ends in a four bladed claw and its right arm ends in a drill almost as long as the rest of the Evangelion.

The entire thing is painted green and white, highlighted in golden yellow, the end of its jutted, spike-shaped forehead ending in a glowing white eye and a honeycomb of viewscreens forming into something resembling a pair of angular sunglasses.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” Yui says, “Evangelion Provisional Unit 05.”

ROW ROW, FIGHT ZA POWAH
Gentlemen, Behold!
Provisional Unit 05

"No can brain today. Want cheezeburger."
From NGE: Nobody Dies, by Gregg Landsman
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5579457/1/NGE_Nobody_Dies

[Valles]

Oh. Well, my embarrassing myself like that would be par for the course in comedy, so it's all good, right?
===========

===============================================
"V, did you do something foolish?"
"Yes, and it was glorious."

[OpMegs]

Well, it's likely somewhat modified, but most of the design comes from this:


---
"Oh, silver blade, forged in the depths of the beyond. Heed my summons and purge those who stand in my way. Lay
waste."

[Evil Midnight Lurker]

Landsman's version also has influences from Fallout 3's Liberty Prime.
--Sam
"Both shoes?!  It is a monster!"

[Black Aeronaut]

Holy shit... could... not... stop... gleeful... cackle... Whhoooooo-hoooo-huh! Whoooo-hooooo-huh! Whoooooiiiieeeee... Hee-hee-hee...

[Wiregeek]

chap 27, which is up, contains 50% of your RDA of ID4 movie reference.
"No can brain today. Want cheezeburger."
From NGE: Nobody Dies, by Gregg Landsman
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5579457/1/NGE_Nobody_Dies

[ECSNorway]

I want to make a "jumping the shark" joke, but this chapter is one.
--
Sucrose Octanitrate.
Proof positive that with sufficient motivation, you can make anything explode.

[OpMegs]

Lilim is the final Angel. Combined with Lilith, you are like Father.

Behind his glasses, Gendo smirks and turns to Yui.

"I told you we'd be our final enemy. You owe me a Coke."

"Quiet, dear," Yui mutters, "Junior, how might the prior Nine react to these new Angels?"

None would ally with them. They are born of Rage.

"How's that different?" Ritsuko asks.

We were born of Father's first awakening. From fear, confusion, and pain. So we seek to reunite and become one with Father. Those that come now do not seek Complementation. They seek destruction. They are mad dogs. Mindless, dangerous, and to be destroyed.

So we have given them a name.

"Which is?" Gendo asks.

Cherubim.

Well....shit.
---
"Oh, silver blade, forged in the depths of the beyond. Heed my summons and purge those who stand in my way. Lay
waste."

[s3yang]

"Operation: Lumberjack is go!"

So... what you guys think? I'm thinking Chainsaw. Could also be a really big axe, but chainsaw seems more likely.

[Bob Schroeck]

"Operation: Lumberjack is go!"

So... what you guys think? I'm thinking Chainsaw. Could also be a really big axe, but chainsaw seems more likely.

You mean it won't be Evangelions in women's clothing hanging 'round in bars?
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

[s3yang]

"Operation: Lumberjack is go!"

So... what you guys think? I'm thinking Chainsaw. Could also be a really big axe, but chainsaw seems more likely.

You mean it won't be Evangelions in women's clothing hanging 'round in bars?

Okay, that caused some scalding of sinuses as I snorted my coffee.

[Bob Schroeck]

My work here is done.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

[s3yang]

And Dammit, now the song's been stuck in my head since yesterday. My coworker that sits next to me apparently 'gets it' because he's been giving me funny looks when I randomly start to hum it.

[ECSNorway]

"Let's assume it doesn't break off its pattern of movement to attack
Tokyo-2, then," Kozou says, tracing the pattern. It repeats several
times, avoiding cities and towns, until finally hitting the center of a
particular area.
"Okayama?" Kozou asks, "Why would it target Okayama?"
Tapping
the hologram, Gendo pulls his hand back, zooming in. Displayed in front
of them now is a small house in the middle of nowhere in the
countryside, and a large X to show that Shalgiel's rampage would have
lead it there.
"Why would Cherubim target your brother in law?" Kozou asks.
"Not him," Gendo says, "Not exactly. And I think I know why."

Oh... my.
--
Sucrose Octanitrate.
Proof positive that with sufficient motivation, you can make anything explode.

[s3yang]

"Operation: Lumberjack is go!"

So... what you guys think? I'm thinking Chainsaw. Could also be a really big axe, but chainsaw seems more likely.

*facepalm* and so of course, it was _both_

[Bob Schroeck]

"Rei, if somebody asks if you're a god, you say 'Yes'!"

Good to see that NERV is drawing on the classics for its training.

Favorite lines from this chapter: "Boom, headshot!" and of course "Unit 5, Death blossom!"
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.