ROTFL: MAO!

[robkelk]

and in further however, if we're going to continue to discuss this we should probably do it in a different thread, as it's rather offtopic in this one.

Yeah. Less conversation, more ROFL...
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012

[Jorlem]

"Well, I'm glad to see you taking interest in activities
besides stabbing things and collecting things to do the stabing," Louise
began, cocking her head to the side as she spoke, a note of curiosity
appearing in her voice. "But why does this thing have you so excited? I
mean, yes, it can fly, but there are dozens of other flying vessels
around. What's so special about this one? Is it that it came from your
homeland?"
"It's just with this I'll finally qualify for the Rider class!" I
admit, finally letting my excitement through. "It's always been a sore
point for me that I could manage just about all the other classes of my
homeland, but I couldn't qualify for one just because I didn't have a
fancy flying horse. This is so much better than a flying horse!"
"A flying horse?" Louise asked, looking completely lost. "What does this have to do with a flying horse?"
"And
look!" I declared, finally unable to contain my exuberance any longer. I
darted forward to the 7.7mm machine guns and the 20mm canon mounted at
the front of the plane. "You all have muskets in this country right?
Well imagine the power of a musket, matched with the range and accuracy
of an arrow, capable of firing over a hundred shots per minute! That's
what these are!" I began stroking them feverishly. "Take that
Bellapharon! You think you're all that! Eat hot lead!"
Louise fell
over at my declaration, her eyes twitching. Her hand started creeping
for her wand, but she visibly constrained herself.
Colbert was
beside me in an instant. "Truly? You have technology capable of a feat
like that?" his eyes sparkled, and I'm pretty sure mine were too when I
grasped his hand and nodded, too overcome with joy to speak.
He
detached himself from me and began to hug the nose of the zero fighter.
"Oh! The breakthroughs we'll have together," he sang joyously.
I
gave into the urge myself, and embraced the machine guns. "Oh! The
armies we'll slaughter together!" I crooned, rubbing my face against the
weapons.
Louise remained on the ground, still twitching.

The Hill of Swords: The Ninth Night
-----
Stand between the Silver Crystal and the Golden Sea.
"Youngsters these days just have no appreciation for the magnificence of the legendary cucumber."  --Krityan Elder, Tales of Vesperia.

[HoagieOfDoom]

*blink blink*

What the BALLS is a Mitsubishi ZERO doing in this story? Man, I really need to stop playing Bad Company 2 and catch up.

[s3yang]

*blink blink*

What the BALLS is a Mitsubishi ZERO doing in this story? Man, I really need to stop playing Bad Company 2 and catch up.

Err... it was part of the original Familiar of Zero storyline actually.

[Black Aeronaut]

Yeah, a couple of Zero pilots during WWII flew through a portal. One of them made it back out but the other didn't. That pilot wound up settling in that world and one of the characters is his descendant. The plane itself was perfectly preserved using preservation magic, hence why it's not a rotting mess.

[ECSNorway]

Hermione, who had calmly got up from her seat and walked around the table, chose that moment to grab Harry's shirt by the shoulder and pull him out of his chair. Harry let himself be pulled, but as Hermione dragged him away, he said, raising his voice even louder, "It is entirely possible that in a thousand years, the fact that Hermione Granger's parents were dentists will be the only reason anyone remembers dentistry!"

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5782108/36/ ... ationality
--
Sucrose Octanitrate.
Proof positive that with sufficient motivation, you can make anything explode.

[HoagieOfDoom]

Err... it was part of the original Familiar of Zero storyline actually.

Yeah, a couple of Zero pilots during WWII flew through a portal. One of them made it back out but the other didn't. That pilot wound up settling in that world and one of the characters is his descendant. The plane itself was perfectly preserved using preservation magic, hence why it's not a rotting mess.

I've only seen the first episode of FoZ and never read the novels/manga/whathaveyou, but this at least marginally clears it up. Thanks!

[Black Aeronaut]

Glad to be of assistance. I was actually worried that I was providing too many spoilers.

[Foxboy]

Not uch of a spoiler since the Zero is in the opening credits.
''We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat
them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.''

-- James Nicoll

[ECSNorway]

On their way back from the Star League conference, the ship carrying Theodore and Hohiro Kurita vanished. At about the same time, the shooting started on Luthien. Who started what? Nobody knew at the time, but everybody had their theories. This led to a confused fight in the Irece Prefecture, Combine troops shooting at Novacats (claiming the Cats were planning on putting Minoru on the throne and taking over), Combine troops shooting at other combine troops (Ryuken-ni got caught in the middle), Nova Cats stomping anybody they didn't like... it was a mess that only ended when the Nova Cats had ejected all combine troops from the prefecture.

While that went on, three regiments of Pesht Regulars were dropping on Ningxia. According to them, they were moving to stop a conspiracy before it could begin by trying to kill off a Ryuken Regiment and seize whatever it was guarding. Shear numbers won out against Ryuken Panache; the Ryuken fled the planet, and the invaders moved in to discover that the regiment was defending... nothing at all. I've heard the Pesht troops found a Ningxia giant toadstool with the phrase "I'm sorry, but your Kurita is in another castle" carved into it, but I doubt it. The Combine doesn't have a sense of humor.

3068: A Year in Review
--
Sucrose Octanitrate.
Proof positive that with sufficient motivation, you can make anything explode.

[HoagieOfDoom]

Glad to be of assistance. I was actually worried that I was providing too many spoilers.

Doesn't bother me, I don't intend to actually watch or read the series. The first episode turned me off in a big way, though I'm having fun with The Hill of Swords.

So I've been reading the latest edition of http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Legend_of_ ... aying_Game]Legend of the Five Rings (tl;dr roleplaying game set in mystical feudal Japan/Eastern Asia) when I get to the section about Ancestors, a special advantage that gives you the guidance of a great ancestor of your clan. The section had this little gem as a Mantis ancestor:

Gusai
One of the most notorious of Mantis ancestors, Gusai proved the power of a single individual by successfully carrying a knife into the presence of the Emperor - only to see the Emperor prove the limitations of such power when he signed the order for Gusai's execution.

[Morganite]

Yeah. Less conversation, more ROFL...

Come on, me trying to write Hymnos is a comedy of errors all by itself! (Those emotion sounds don't go with the rest of the sentence at all!)

Okay, okay...

Sometimes, all it takes is the summary. From ShortS chapter 13:

Content: Fate's underwear

...

-Morgan.

[drakensis]

Glad to be of assistance. I was actually worried that I was providing too many spoilers.

Doesn't bother me, I don't intend to actually watch or read the series. The first episode turned me off in a big way, though I'm having fun with The Hill of Swords.
So I've been reading the latest edition of Legend of the Five Rings (tl;dr roleplaying game set in mystical feudal Japan/Eastern Asia) when I get to the section about Ancestors, a special advantage that gives you the guidance of a great ancestor of your clan. The section had this little gem as a Mantis ancestor:

Gusai
One of the most notorious of Mantis ancestors, Gusai proved the power of a single individual by successfully carrying a knife into the presence of the Emperor - only to see the Emperor prove the limitations of such power when he signed the order for Gusai's execution.

Ah yes, the classic L5R solution to the question of which was stronger, the pen or the sword.
Glad to see Ancestors back in the game, they always added something to it.
  
D for Drakensis

You're only young once, but immaturity is forever.

[Morganite]

Incidentally, while that's obviously about Fate from MGLN, I suddenly got the mental image of Nodoka with her artifact, pointing dramatically at her series' Fate, and shouting "So! Boxers or briefs?"

-Morgan.

[drakensis]

Feeling a little hopeful nonetheless, he decided it wouldn't hurt to show her his soft side. Just to reassure the lady that he wasn't completely removed from the affable Shunsui.

"If you and Byakuya would cause icicles to form, the two of us together might unleash an indoor blizzard!"

She ground to a halt.

The young hero also stopped walking. Nanao's head spun around to focus on him, and Hitsugaya found himself taking an involuntary step back at the look of rigid disapproval that had descended upon her features. She bent down then until they were peering directly into one another's eyes.

"Captain Hitsugaya," she spoke in a very dark, dangerous voice. "If we are to ever work together, there is one thing I would like made perfectly clear."

He swallowed and desperately wished for a teleportation charm to get him out of this situation fast.

"Regardless of what people say…"

Reaching up, Nanao suddenly yanked the clasp out of her hair, allowing soft black strands to tumble down to her shoulders. Glasses off, hair unbound, cheeks flushed, the Queen Office Lady stared into his wide glass-green eyes.

"I am hot!"

She then grabbed his face and proceeded to steal his lips with a smoking kiss.

Hammered Down
D for Drakensis

You're only young once, but immaturity is forever.

[Shepherd]

"You know, I heard that if you eat the flesh of mermaids, it grants immortality," K said, his voice grim and serious.
Rayden snorted. "That's not true. I don't even know how a silly story like that came about."

"Oh, come now," Kaze said, patting the Dread Knight on the shoulder, "not that I'm advocating the murder and consumption of merfolk, but don't you think that, with all the strange and impossible things that have turned up in the realms, something like that is hardly far-fetched?"

The demonic paladin rolled his eyes. "Well, do any of you feel immortal?"

All eating halted immediately.

Ranma stared down at his third steak of the night, his fork trembling over the tender, juicy meat. "Ray... why would you ask that?" He glanced over at the net that still held a fair bit of uncooked fish meat. "Those aren't mermaids, right? They don't look like mermaids at all." They looked like the bodies of large tuna, actually, although Ranma noticed with considerable discomfort that the net only contained the rear half of the creatures.

"Well, you have to cut off the top halves; that meat's no good, and can even be poisonous in certain tribes," Rayden explained. "And don't get me wrong; merfolk are lean and full of vitamins, and as I'm sure you've noticed, the subtle sweetness is far superior to mere fish. But I hardly think any of you are gonna get an extra year of life out of this meal."

Nexus II: www.fanfiction.net/s/1325244/17/Nexus_II
----------------------------------------------------

"Anyone can be a winner if their definition of victory is flexible enough." - The DM of the Rings XXXV

[Shepherd]

Mr. Granger pushed the subject aside. “Anyway, we came across a tribe of jungle creebs- what you called house elves- and one of them- what was his name, dear?”
“Kneesly.”
“That’s right, Knee Slicer! Anyway, he-”
“Wait, those were the creatures with violent names?” Hermione interrupted incredulously.
“Huh?” Her dad said, “Oh, yeah. Harmless little guys, mostly, but they do love the gore.”
“But all the house elves I know have such cute little names, like Dobby and Winky!” she exclaimed.
Her dad shrugged. “Their full ones are probably something more like Adobinal Gutter and Wind Crusher or Wing Cutter. They like shortening things, in case you hadn’t noticed. That’s actually what screwed us over that time. They told us that they’d seen a strong girl hanging out with the lopes.”
“Antelopes?” Hermione guessed.
“Well, that’s what we thought.”
“How did that, er, screw you over?” Harry asked. Ron was privately trying to figure out what all the other houses elves were really named.
“They meant lupes.” Mrs. Granger said flatly. “As in, canis lupus, or in our case, daemonium lupum.”

Obliviate is Never Enough: www.tthfanfic.org/Story-22459-11/joshla ... Enough.htm
----------------------------------------------------

"Anyone can be a winner if their definition of victory is flexible enough." - The DM of the Rings XXXV

[robkelk]

Black Lady: "I am Black Lady, messenger of Death Phantom, ruler of the dark world. Soon, the universe will fall into the oblivion of hatred! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH—"
Usagi: "I've seen you naked!"
Black Lady /chokes.
Usagi: "Okay, GET HER!"

http://forum.rpg.net/showpost.php?p=126 ... tcount=466]In Which Shadowjack Watches Sailor Moon, episode 87
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012

[drakensis]

"I have only one thing left to say to you, foolish brat; Avada Kedavera!"
Harry only just had time to start saying, "Hey!" before the curse hit.
"And now," Voldemort declared, turning to Hermione, "For you, mudblood. You have the honour to be the second slain by me in this, my new-"
"You've got no idea how much that stings!" Harry loudly declared, sitting back up from where he'd fallen over. This was sufficiently strange to throw Voldemort off track mid-monologue.
"... actually, I have." the Dark Lord said. "By the way, Avada Kedavera."
He turned back to the quivering Hermione.
"Where was I? Ah yes, you-"
"I'm done talking to you, nobody just-" the Boy-Who-Wouldn't-Freaking-Die declared, popping back up.
"Avada Kedavera goddamnit."
"OW! Nobody just comes in here yelling-"
"AVADA KEDAVERA!"
"-Arabia Carnival and-"
"AVADIA KEDAVERA! WILL YOU PLEASE JUST DIE ALREADY?!"
"-Threatening my damsels!"
"AVADA KEDAVERA, AVADA KEDAVERA, AVADA KEDAVERA!"
The Boy-Who-Kept-Popping-Back-Up seemed to be staying down this time, so the highly irritated Dark Lord once again returned his attention to Hermione.
"Finally." he said. "As I was saying,"
That was when an enormous set of teeth descended on him; Harry, his piece said, had gone dragon-form and gone for the bite.
Harry chewed, swallowed, belched, then said, "Huh."
Hermione, who'd managed to get her teeth unclenched, let out a distinctly shellshocked-sounding squeak.
"S'funny. I didn't expect enemy to taste like pork." Harry continued. "Wonder who he was? Sure can't have been- ohboy, dragon gas."
With that, he whirled round, stuck his tail and backside out over the lip of his lair, and released what must have been the most epic fart in known history.
After all, farts are usually composed of methane or some such rancid gas, not screaming disembodied horribly-traumatised-due-to-just-having-passed-through-a-dragon's-digestive-tract shades of Dark Lords.

Enter the Dragon, chapter 2
(no link as it's thus far on Caer Azkaban email group only)
D for Drakensis

You're only young once, but immaturity is forever.

[Sweno]

yay, I've been hoping that fic would update for a while. now I just have to franticly click refresh on the FF.net page until the update hits there as well
-Terry
-----
"so listen up boy, or pornography starring your mother will be the second worst thing to happen to you today"
TF2: Spy

[robkelk]

http://forum.rpg.net/showpost.php?p=126 ... tcount=500]In which Shadowjack watches the filler episode at the end of Sailor Moon R

Makoto: "#3: Slighty-furry lady monsters who attack Rei by baring their chests at her!"
Rei /laments. "¡DIOS! ¡My only weakness!"
Usagi: "Really?" /reaches for top button.

Luna: "…And is that it?"
Artemis: "Why, no! We also replay a bunch of the best footage from the past two seasons. Well, we call it the best, anyway. Some of it's good stuff."
Luna: "Is it artfully edited to music?"
Artemis: "Nnnnnno."
Mamoru: "Reanimated in super-high quality?"
Artemis: "No."
Usagi: "Redubbed with hilarious new dialogue?"
Artemis: "Well, they dubbed a couple of amusing lines over it."
Luna: "So basically they tease you with a couple of seconds of new preview footage at the start of the episode and a little bit of commentary in the characters' voices, then trick you into sitting through an entire episode's worth of clips you've already seen to fill up the advertising time slot and fulfill their production contract, and they don't even finish off with some new footage or music or something, they just trail off at the end and ask you to watch the next show."
Artemis: "…Yes."
Luna: "Girls, I have a new mission for you: We're going to assassinate the entire Japanese marketing industry."

The rest of this episode's review is replaced with scenes that Shadowjack expected to see in Sailor Moon R, but were never filmed... including one that this exchange begins.

Ami: "I have to ask—"
Mercury-2: "I know."
Ami: "Are you reincarnations, or descendents, or are you actually—?"
Mercury-2: "You know how She swore never to let any of us be hurt or killed or lonely again?"
Ami: "Yes…"
Mercury-2: "She keeps Her promises."
Ami: "…that's actually a bit disturbing…"

--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012

[LilFluff]

Heh. From The Dark Lords of Nerima, chapter 20:

The cat said nothing in reply, letting the silence speak for her.
Jadeite gritted his teeth. "In any case, don't you think your time would
be better spent worrying about the welfare of your own soldiers?"
"They
will be fine," the cat said firmly, although Jadeite suspected that she
was trying to convince herself at least as much as him. "They've been
through danger before. They'll find a way to turn the tables. Between
Sailor Mars' courage, and Sailor Mercury's intelligence, and Sailor
Moon's..." Her voice trailed off. "Sailor Moon's..."
"...luck?" suggested Jadeite.
"Luck," agreed the cat resignedly. "Between all that, I'm sure they'll stop those Dark Lords somehow."

And another good line. Who in the Ranma 1/2 universe (and quite possibly among the audience) hasn't wanted to say this.

Tuxedo Kamen leveled his cane directly at his foe's solar plexus.
"Kuno Tatewaki," he said, as he braced himself. "In the name of love and
justice..."
With a mental command, his cane extended with
blinding speed, slamming into the kendoist with all the force it
possessed. The weapon continued to stretch out, driving Kuno back
through the wall behind him, then through the wall behind that, then
through the wall behind that, finally embedding him in the fourth
wall. Everything was still for a moment, and then Tuxedo Kamen
retracted the cane, allowing Kuno to flop downward, out cold.
"...shut up," finished the masked man under his breath.

-----

Will the transhumanist future have catgirls? Does Japan still exist? Well, there is your answer.

[Jorlem]

And now Kuno is embedded in the fourth wall. No good can come of this.
-----
Stand between the Silver Crystal and the Golden Sea.
"Youngsters these days just have no appreciation for the magnificence of the legendary cucumber."  --Krityan Elder, Tales of Vesperia.

[Bob Schroeck]

Dear god, he'll start accosting real women instead of just animated ones...
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

[drakensis]

[table]